Bellator 149: Ruining Freak Show Fights for Everyone

On Friday night, Bellator presented Bellator 145, a night of great fights that saw the re-crowning of a former champion, Daniel Strauss, while another champion, Will Brooks, asserted his place at the top of the lightweight food chain. The event proved that, when the spotlight is placed on Bellator’s hungry, hardworking, homegrown talent, they have the ability to shine brighter than any special attraction the promotion could sign to attract casual viewers to the product.

But screw all that, because Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock are going to fight again! ROYCE GRACIE! KEN SHAMROCK! FEBRUARY 2016, BABY!

Say, is that “Just Bleed” guy still alive? Just wondering…

Seriously, though, what the hell? I get that Bellator has changed their business model to use names known to the MMA community at large to increase attention for their quarterly “tentpole” events, and the numbers have shown it to be at least an effective strategy in the short term, but was anyone asking to see this one?

I mean, I guess I should have recognized the possibility when both Ken and Royce signed deals to be part of Bellator, even though Royce wasn’t initially brought in to fight. He was just brought in to be an ambassador for the brand, which meant high fiving dude bros while eating hot wings at a Dave & Buster’s in suburban San Jose.

I didn’t expect him to actually take a fight, even though he’s always wanted to fight again, but he’s a Gracie so of course he wants to fight. That’s all Gracies are programmed to do: fight and sell out the name “Gracie” in a way that makes Gene Simmons jealous.

As for Ken, I guess I shouldn’t expect any less of him. The man should have retired from the sport a decade ago, and yet, he’s still going into his 50s. He had actually been retired for about 5 years until the allure of a Bellator payday against Kimbo Slice proved too much to resist for The World’s Most Dangerous Man, even if the only group of people he’d be the most dangerous towards at this point are health insurance providers.

I’ll admit I was a little excited for the Kimbo vs. Shamrock fight but I don’t entirely know why. Maybe their history, with the fight that fell apart in 2008, was intriguing enough to make me want to see them finally clash. Maybe there was just enough novelty to the match-up to make it worth putting together even if everyone knew it was going to be a trainwreck, which it was. Or maybe, deep down, I’m just an awful human being who enjoys the sporting equivalent of watching two hobos fight in an alleyway over a sandwich.

So, if I was okay with that fight, then why am I not okay with Gracie vs. Shamrock III? Maybe because there’s zero intrigue in seeing them fight again, only concern for their health.

The rivalry between Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock was, of course, very important to the history of MMA in the US. Royce and Ken were the two most skilled fighters in the very first UFC tournament and their fight was one of the best in the early days of the company.

The rivalry between Royce and Ken became so big that, after multiple attempts to book the rematch in a tournament, the organizers said “Screw it” and booked the first UFC non-tournament Superfight between the two. Sure, the fight ended up being really long and really boring and nobody won because “leaving it in the hands of the judges” didn’t exist yet, but it did well on Payperview, posting the biggest buyrate the company would see until the TUF era.

I should mention that rematch happened in 1995.

That’s not a typo. These guys last fought 20 years ago and they’re now going to fight again. In 2016. There are kids in college right now who weren’t alive the last time these two fought, and there’s nothing that has happened in the 20 years since that would make me want to see them fight again.

Sorry for making you all feel old. Blame Scott Coker.

That’s not the only fight I could be outraged about, as it was also announced on Friday that Kimbo “Shamrock Shake” Slice would return to action against the man known as Dada 5000, a 2-0 MMA “fighter” who hasn’t fought since 2011 and is really only notable for being a Kimbo ripoff.

So it’s Kimbo vs. Bizarro Kimbo, which is the same as Kimbo but with whatever the hell that thing is on top of his head. Somebody better reinforce the fabric of space-time before these two rip it wide open.

And I’ll reserve any criticism for Fedor Emelianenko’s opponent at the Rizin FF New Year’s Eve show until one is officially announced, even though I fail to see how anyone over there thinks Tsuyoshi Kohsaka is the man to reignite MMA in that market. Then again, Japan is the country that made Bob Sapp a star, so there’s clearly a lot I don’t understand about them.

Just kidding. I love Bob’s comedy routines.

…what’s that? Those were legitimate fights? Oh. Well…um…I like his laugh.

Honestly, I’m really not that bothered by Royce and Ken fighting again. I mean, the fight is going to be awful and it’s going to be depressing seeing two UFC Hall of Famers refusing to acknowledge that they should have given this up years ago, but you know I’ll be watching.

If there’s anything that concerns me, it’s that I fear Bellator is starting to dip into the freak show well a little too much. Bellator is trying to walk a very fine line between presenting sport and presenting entertainment. They essentially want to do what pro wrestling does but with real fights, which was the model Japanese MMA utilized to much acclaim, but they did so in a different time and in front of a different audience.

American fans are different than Japanese fans. We want to be entertained but we also want something that is or at least resembles an athletic competition. Freak show fights do not represent an athletic competition. They are the fighting equivalent of a “What If” scenario that appeals to the curiosity of the human mind and sounds amazing provided we don’t give too much thought to it because, if we do, it allows the rational part of our brains time to kick in and remind us how insane the idea is to begin with.

I know the name of the game is to attract as many TV viewers as possible, and that involves finding ways to entice non fans, as well as older fans who may have become disenfranchised with the sport over time for whatever reason, to tune in, but, if the front line of that battle includes two former Youtube streetfighters and two aging legends with a century of life between the both of them, then the promotion is likely fighting a war it can’t possibly win, not without a high body count.

It’s fun to see those kinds of fights every now and again but it’s not something you can build a business around, or at least not a business that will sustain itself for very long before those looks of awe and wonderment from the crowd turn into looks of shame and disgust.

Tread lightly down that path, Bellator, lest you find yourself lost with no way back…

…Oh Bellator. You know I can’t stay mad at you. You kids go and have fun. Just be careful now, and try not to plunge the sport back into a dark age that it may never recover from. If you can avoid doing that, that’d be great. Thanks.

Evan Zivin has been writing for 411 MMA since May of 2013. Evan loves the sport, and likes to takes a lighthearted look at the world of MMA in his writing…usually.