A Bloody Good Time 10.11.12: Horror Knockout Tournament – Round 1, Part 2
Opening Logo courtesy of Benjamin J. Colón (Soul Exodus)
Welcome to A Bloody Good Time.
Last week, we kicked off our Horror Knockout Tournament with eight first-round match-ups. The bracket is below, but the official results saw some interesting voting. Dracula defeat Hannibal Lecter, The Wolfman beat the Deadites, Norman Bates beat Leslie Vernon (in a result that was closer than I thought), Pinhead beat Otis Driftwood, Jason beat Jack Torrence, Pennywise beat Leatherface, Michael Myers brutally massacred Sadako and Jigsaw beat Chucky. Seriously, did you see the voting on Michael vs Sadako? Damn.
We’ve got another eight match-ups as we’re into part 2 of round 1.
Some of you (hopefully all of you) may read Shawn S. Lealos’ Alternate Takes, in which he goes over all things comic book related. He’s had knockout tournaments for comic heroes and villains, and it seems to have went over very well. Lealos’ Knockout deal was such a good idea that with his permission, I decided to steal it. Okay, I guess the technical term is “borrow”, but you get the idea. Starting now, We will begin a 32-character tournament for horror movie villains, monsters, what have you.
How does this affect you? You can choose who wins! My opnion means very little, as I just ranked the monsters in my own order to determine bracketing. You will decide who your favorite is. You can vote who advances based on any criteria you like, although I’d recommend just going with whoever you like best. But hey, if you want to vote based on who you think would win in a fight, go for it! It’s totally up to you.
This tournament will run six weeks! This week is the second half of round 1, and then we’ll have round 2, the quarterfinals, semifinals, and then the finals. For the final round, I’m going to do something special and give full-write ups to the characters, involving their history in the genre, memorable moments, and who they’ve defeated in the tournament. The winner will ultimately be announced on November 15.
Here’s the bracket for you. The text is a little smaller than I’d like but you should be able to tell who’s who.
And now it’s time to finish up Round 1!
Freddy Krueger (#2 Seed):
First Appearance: A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
Number of Appearances: 10, including the TV series.
Quote: “Welcome to prime time, bitch!”
Victor Crowley (#31):
First Appearance: Hatchet (2006)
Number of Appearances: 3, including the third film this year.
Quote: He doesn’t talk.
So it’s the second half and we get Freddy vs Jason! Sort of. Victor Crowley, an obvious expy for killers like Jason and played by Kane Hodder, is a swamp-bred redneck monster that was first introduced in Hatchet. Freddy has been around a lot longer, and has experienced more popularity than I’d say Victor ever will. But is Freddy’s immense popularity enough to carry him through to the next round?
If judging from a “who would win” perspective, you literally have the same challenge here as Freddy vs Jason. If Victor sleeps, then Freddy has him. If Freddy is pulled into the dream world, he’ll have to rely on his wit and cunning to give him an advantage. Otherwise Crowley will likely rip him in half. But in that dream world, Freddy is the absolute King, and while he’s been stopped before, it’s taken a combination of luck and intelligence that Victor may not have.
Can Victor hand Freddy an unexpected defeat? Or will Freddy make Crowley sleep forever?
The Creature From the Black Lagoon (#15):
First Appearance: Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)
Number of Appearances: Three.
Quote: It doesn’t talk.
The Shark (#18):
First Appearance: Jaws (1975)
Number of Appearances: Four
Quote: It also doesn’t speak. It did roar once.
It’s an underwater battle as a massive great white shark battles a much smaller “Gill-Man”, the creature from the Black Lagoon. While the Creature has been around longer, its series was done long before the Shark (called “Bruce” on set) terrorized Amity Island. Yet both haven’t been seen in a long time, presumably lying dormant in the water for their next victims. While the Creature only attacks the humans that invade its home, the Shark is outright looking for food.
If these two fight, both have advantages. The Creature, while small, has sharp claws to slice open a shark’s belly with. It also has speed and agility on its side, as it’s very capable of moving around in the water from its years of living in it. However you can’t teach size, and the Shark has that in spades. All it would take is one bite to end the Creature’s fight, so Gill-Man will have to stick and move in order to keep alive and advance.
Will the Shark send Gill-Man back to the Black Lagoon in pieces? Or can the Creature make that son of a bitch smile?
King Kong (#7):
First Appearance: King Kong (1933)
Number of Appearances: Nine, including two TV cartoons.
Quote: It doesn’t talk. That’s a common theme this time.
The Thing (#26):
First Appearance: The Thing From Another World (1951)
Number of Appearances: Three
Quote: Technically it can talk, but since you don’t know who is a thing or when they are a thing until its too late, it’s hard to attribute a quote to it.
This is a battle that is intriguing. If the Thing has managed to large enough to properly challenge King Kong, then I think a giant ape is the least of our concerns. Kong is an incredibly popular character with seven films and two cartoons to his name, among other countless appearances. He’s taken on Godzilla and won, even if his weakness is a pretty girl. The Thing has only made three appearances but the quality of at least two of those films is enough to help this creature remain popular over the years.
The Thing survives by assimilating anyone it comes into contact with, and being able to assimilate Kong’s DNA would make it easily able to conquer the Earth if it wanted. Kong is just a monkey, so it’s not going to know to use fire to destroy it. The best Kong can hope for is he gets lucky and their battle creates a fire that he can learn. Otherwise he’s going to keep hammering and hammering this thing into pieces until it can swarm him. But Kong’s big and strong enough that he can fight it off in its various forms as long as it takes. If one were only voting based on “who would win”, there may be an upset in the works.
Can Kong hold off assimilation long enough to head back to Skull Island? Or will The Thing have a new form among its many others?
First Appearance: Alien (1979)
Number of Appearances: Seven
Quote: Doesn’t speak.
First Appearance: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
Number of Appearances: Two
Quote: “Yeah. I killed my mama. One night. It was my 14th birthday. She was drunk, and we had an argument. She hit me with a whiskey bottle. I shot her. I shot her dead.”
At first glance, this would seem like a mismatch. Henry’s just a normal human, even if he is a heartless serial killer. But Ripley is a normal human too (for three movies, anyway) and she managed to defeat the Xenomorph race twice without dying. Once Henry discovers that the aliens bleed acid, he should be smart enough to avoid close range attack. He’s quite handy with a gun as well, and has no problem killing if it benefits him (or even if it doesn’t).
But the Xenomorph has several weapons in its arsenal. It has claws, a tail, a spikey-mouth-thing in its mouth and the previously mentioned acid blood. Of course if it has a spare egg laying around, it doesn’t even have to kill Henry itself. It could let a facehugger latch onto his face and advance its species. As I said, Henry is at a severe disadvantage and only his bloodlust and perseverance can get him through.
It’s up to you: Can Henry pull a Ripley and send the alien to an early grave? Or is it game over, man?
First Appearance: Gojira (1954)
Number of Appearances: 34 (including the two American versions and three cartoons and Japanese show)
Quote: He doesn’t talk (well, except for that one time), but he does have distinctive roar.
First Appearance: Candyman (1992)
Number of Appearances: Three
Quote: “They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What’s blood for, if not for shedding?”
Physically, from a “who would win” perspective, there’s just no fight here. Even with his magical ghost powers, Godzilla would stomp Candyman into nothing and move on with his day. But that can be said for any of Godzilla’s potential opponents in this tournament, unless he gets his rematch with King Kong. So it would be best to ignore that aspect unless that’s how you are voting for all match-ups.
But even from a popularity and longevity stand-point, Candyman is still the underdog. He is more of a cult icon, relegated to one really good film and two mediocre sequels. He hasn’t been seen in any form since 1999 and its unlikely we’ll ever see Tony Todd play him again. Godzilla on the other hand, has 28 Japanese movies, an American remake and another American movie on the way. He’s the most popular giant movie monster of all time, even surpassing Kong in the States. It’s sad to say, but Godzilla is more than likely Japan’s greatest export…assuming he stops destroying Tokyo long enough to go somewhere else.
Does Godzilla squash Candyman? Or can the hook-handed killer somehow end the King of the Monsters reign of destruction early?
Patrick Bateman (#14):
First Appearance: American Psycho (1999)
Number of Appearances: 2 (Technically he did show up in the sequel…but hopefully everyone has forgotten that)
Quote: “I like to dissect girls. Did you know I’m utterly insane?”
The Tall Man (#19):
First Appearance: Phantasm (1979)
Number of Appearances: Four
Quote: “Where do you think you’re going boy. Death is no escape from me.”
When considering this match-up, two thoughts hit me. One: Can The Tall Man ever really be killed? We’ve seen him killed, but we’ve seen him step right back out of the dimensional portal without a scratch on him. Two: Is Patrick Bateman really a serial killer? The end of the film was quite ambiguous and wanted to make you believe that he was not. But that could also be in his head, as he’s “utterly insane”. If Patrick’s not a serial killer, that hurts his chances against The Tall Man considerably. If he is, then he has a fighting chance.
The Tall Man is not only seemingly immortal (he can be stopped, just not killed entirely it seems) but he has several minions and gadgets to do his dirty work for him. Without those, he still has immense strength. Bateman is just completely nuts, as he imagines ATMs telling him to feed them stray cats and would rather watch himself in the mirror during sex than concentrate on the fact he’s having a threesome. So at the very least, the supernatural aspects of The Tall Man are not going to affect Patrick, because he’s already nuts. He’s also resourceful in what types of weapons he uses, so if he can just stop The Tall Man long enough to advance, he could do some damage to others in this tournament.
Will The Tall Man add Bateman to a growing collection of dead bodies in his wake? Or will Patrick live long enough to finally return those video tapes?
Frankenstein’s Monster (#6):
First Appearance: Frankenstein (1910)
Number of Appearances: At least fifty, probably more. Like Dracula, he’s in the public domain.
Quote: “We belong dead.”
The Creeper (#27):
First Appearance: Jeepers Creepers (2001)
Number of Appearances: Three (a third is on the way)
Quote: He doesn’t talk.
This is one fight that I could see happening with the right script. The Creeper is all about collecting and eating body parts to keep itself going, and that’s all Frankenstein’s monster is: a collection of parts. Both monsters have seemingly unlimited strength and are invulnerable. The question is which will be able to take a bigger beating to go on and advance? The Monster definitely has longevity on its side, as it’s been around since the dawn of film and will be here long after the Creeper is forgotten. But The Creeper, like so many in the bottom fourth of the rankings, is a cult favorite.
When dealing with The Monster, the Creeper has two advantages: weapons and flight. It will definitely need to use its wings in order to keep the creature from pummeling him. It can also use its flying to escape momentarily and track down a quick victim to replenish anything the Monster might happen to rip off. The monster will have to take those wings off quickly in order to take away a serious advantage to the underdog. Frankenstein’s creation has also fought other monsters before, so it’s no stranger to tangling with another ferocious creature.
Will the Creature feast on Frankenstein’s greatest accomplishment? Or can The Monster prove to be the better amalgamation of body parts?
First Appearance: Predator (1987)
Number of Appearances: Five
Quote: Doesn’t speak.
First Appearance: Scream (1996)
Number of Appearances: Four
Quote: “Do you like scary movies?”
This week’s final match-up pits an alien hunter against human prey. The Predator has been stopped by humans before, so if that’s your consideration for automatically ditching Ghostface, then maybe you should think about that. Sure, one of them was Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the other was Danny Glover. Surely a serial killer can hold his or her own against this monster, even if it can’t use the phone to antagonize it.
Ghostface is unique in this tournament in that it’s never been one person in the entire series. Basically, anyone can wear the costume and start killing people. Maybe Arnold’s underneath for a rematch. You don’t know. The Predator doesn’t care, because it sees the killer as competition and will gladly hunt it down for another trophy. Ghostface is going to have to rely on speed and the ability to hide to gain an advantage over a monster whose sole purpose is to hunt and fight things.
Is Ghostface the Predator’s latest trophy? Or will he take his love of scary movies far enough to advance in the tournament?
That’s it for me. Leave some comments here on or my Twitter. Next week, its round 2! The winners from last week and this week collide to see who will go to the Elite Eight!
Closing Logo courtesy of Kyle Morton (get your own custom artwork and commissions at his Etsy account)
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