A Bloody Good Time 10.25.12: Horror Knockout Tournament – Quarterfinals
Opening Logo courtesy of Benjamin J. Colón (Soul Exodus)
Welcome to A Bloody Good Time.
Last week, we finished the first round of the Horror Villain Knockout tournament, and we’re moving on to Round 2 today! There were some upsets in Part 2 and some more massacres than there were in Part 1, which made for an interesting round overall. Let’s go straight to Round 2!
Some of you (hopefully all of you) may read Shawn S. Lealos’ Alternate Takes, in which he goes over all things comic book related. He’s had knockout tournaments for comic heroes and villains, and it seems to have went over very well. Lealos’ Knockout deal was such a good idea that with his permission, I decided to steal it. Okay, I guess the technical term is “borrow”, but you get the idea. Starting now, We will begin a 32-character tournament for horror movie villains, monsters, what have you.
How does this affect you? You can choose who wins! My opinion means very little, as I just ranked the monsters in my own order to determine bracketing. You will decide who your favorite is. You can vote who advances based on any criteria you like, although I’d recommend just going with whoever you like best. But hey, if you want to vote based on who you think would win in a fight, go for it! It’s totally up to you.
This tournament will run six weeks! This week is the second half of round 1, and then we’ll have round 2, the quarterfinals, semifinals, and then the finals. For the final round, I’m going to do something special and give full-write ups to the characters, involving their history in the genre, memorable moments, and who they’ve defeated in the tournament. The winner will ultimately be announced on November 15.
Here’s the bracket for you. The text is a little smaller than I’d like but you should be able to tell who’s who.
Before I get to this week’s round, I have some thoughts.
First of all, Waxwork. ABGT reader AG Awesome has been pressuring me for some time to finally watch this thing and I did. As I say, it doesn’t matter when you watch a great movie, just that you do. I loved the film as an homage to other horror classics, and the idea that all of these evil beings were actually once alive is a fun one. The idea of waxworks as portals to their realms is another great idea. There’s even a nice “end of the world” plot in there so you get a motive and explanation for everything.
This movie has it all for horror fans. Beloved characters, tons of gore (I mean, damn) and a quick pace that doesn’t feel too brisk and allows you to move through a fun movie like a ride. Is the acting a little too cheesy? Yes, but I think that’s part of the charm. I’ll be completely honest too, this movie had me when it revealed that John Rhys-Davies was a werewolf. If only he stayed in the film for a longer period of time.
Secondly, there is this:
I believe I said in my Why the Evil Dead remake is a bad idea list that I would have to see a really good trailer to convince me to see this film at all. Well congratulations, you’ve piqued my interest, Evil Dead remake. It certainly looks like it’s sticking to the hardcore R-rated gorefest the original was, and I certainly can’t fault it for that. I’m actually hoping it succeeds, if only to keep R-rated horror coming.
But I still see some of the problems I figured would be there. It looks too much like a Hollywood movie, and therefore just like every other horror film out there. The gore could set it apart, but it will still look glossy. What sets Evil Dead apart from every other “zombie” film is that it takes the low-budget and makes a great movie with it. We didn’t need to see what would happen with better effects because we loved what we got.
It’s also looking to take itself way too seriously. Granted, I’m just looking at a 1:34 minute trailer and it’s impossible to tell the tone from that, but even the original film had some seriously dark humor. This could too, but if you want to sell your remake to fans, that’s one of the things we loved about that series. Plus, there’s still the fact that as Jeremy Thomas said on the trailer post, “It looks like a serious Cabin in the Woods.” Oh and the fact that Diablo Jennifer’s Body Cody still wrote the damn thing.
But hey, the trailer does look good. I’m more than willing to give it a chance. But I’m not completely on board yet and still think it could suck. But I have a small inkling of hope, and that’s more than I can say for when I wrote my column two months ago.
Now…let’s get to some fighting.
So last week had even more blowouts than Round 1, which I found surprising. The closest fight was the Alien vs The Thing and even then the Xenomorph won by a comfortable margin. I’m predicting bloodbath this week though, as we get some classic matchups and some very intriguing ones.
Defeated: Hannibal Lecter (Round 1, 293-155), The Wolfman (Round 2, 394-95)
Defeated: Otis Driftwood (Round 1, 370-68), Norman Bates (Round 2, 383-113)
While Pinhead had a little more trouble with Norman Bates than Otis Driftwood, he still was able to get past him quickly to move on to the next round. He’ll face his first true supernatural test here as Dracula is much older and arguably much more evil. He’s already taken down a cannibal in a spirited fight and a Wolf Man with ease. My guess is that he caught him on a night that wasn’t a full moon.
When it comes to film franchises, Dracula obviously takes the edge here as he’s been around for a long time and has starred in over 150 movies. Pinhead only has nine to his name, but he’s an iconic character that still maintains his popularity even with his film series in relative obscurity. One can only imagine how much more popularity (or infamy) he will gain when the inevitable remake finally steps out of development hell. But considering how bad Hellraiser: Revelations was, I’m willing to give a remake a chance.
For Pinhead’s sake, he should hope that he’s not taking Dracula lightly after his first two easy fights. Dracula may look like a mere mortal, but those chains aren’t really going to work when your opponent can turn himself into mist. Dracula has strength on his side, and depending on where the fight takes place, his weaknesses may be nullified. If they’re in the world of Pinhead, there’s no sunlight. Pinhead could probably touch a cross to use, but do you really think he would?
No if Pinhead wants to take on an ancient evil like Dracula, he’s going to have to get creative and use all of his tricks. This isn’t a simple matter of using his chains to rip a man apart, he’s going to have to get his hands dirty this time. Dracula, meanwhile, will have to rely on more than just biting Pinhead to make him a vampire, because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have blood and is already serving someone else. Finally, if all else fails, Dracul is very intelligent. There’s always that little box to send Pinhead back to Hell, provided he can solve it before the sun comes up.
What do you think? Can Dracula send the lead cenobite back to Hell? Or will Pinhead tear whatever soul the vampire has apart?
Jason Voorhees (#4):
Defeated: Jack Torrence (Round 1, 399-51), Pennywise the Dancing Clown (Round 2, 368-142)
Michael Myers (#5):
Defeated: Sadako (Round 1, 405-43), Jigsaw (Round 2, 401-97)
This is a horror fight that fans have wanted to see for years, and now that both had relatively easy roads getting here, it will finally happen. Jason had to put forth a little more effort in hacking Pennywise to nothing than he did Jack Torrence, but he was still able to advance without much trouble. Michael on the other hand, proved that Jigsaw’s traps only get him so far. He used his inhuman intelligence (he’s way smarter than he should be) to move past the games and give John Kramer a swift death. At least it wasn’t as bad as when he dispatched Sadako.
These two have a lot in common, right down to their film franchises. Jason has been in more films, but Michael’s franchise has been around longer. Both had a film in their respective series where they did not appear (Jason was Part 5, Michael was Part 3) except in hallucinations or a brief mention on television. Both have had their franchises rebooted with mixed results. There’s an interesting discussion. If you had to be stranded on an island with only one movie, would you take Rob Zombie’s Halloween or Friday the 13th (2009)? I actually like both movies, but there are some who hate them. Discuss.
One area where the differ is their back-stories. Depending on when you see him, Jason is either a really strong redneck or an undead abomination. He loved his mother growing up and was born a mongoloid. Michael Myers is either an incredibly evil human, or a literal force of evil nature, depending on who you ask. But to the untrained eye, they’re very alike. Silent, strong, masked men who use sharp instruments to cut their victims up.
So let’s assume that this is Michael at his strongest vs Jason at his strongest. Who do you have winning? Jason is probably stronger than Michael, as he has taken more damage and gotten back up. Plus, he’s not actually alive. Michael however, is smarter than Jason and less prone to get emotional. What I mean is, you can piss Jason off, but Michael just doesn’t care. In the weapons department, Jason may have the edge due to the fact his favorite weapon, the machete, is bigger than Michael’s knife.
One of the most discussed horror battles ever has hit our little tournament. Which masked man will advance to the semi-finals?
Freddy Krueger (#2):
Defeated: Victor Crowley (Round 1, 459-21), The Shark (Round 2, 402-98)
Defeated: Henry (Round 1, 438-37), The Thing (Round 2, 332-163)
Freddy Krueger has had a very easy road in this tournament. Victor Crowley proved the be an incredibly easy fight and we found out sharks can dream as Freddy was able to gut it with little effort. The Xenomorph, while eliminating Henry with no effort, had some trouble with the Thing in the second round but was still able to advance by a large amount of votes. This will be the toughest fight for both by far, as they are equally iconic in different ways.
Comparing the films of both, Freddy has been in nine while the Alien was just in seven. However the Alien franchise has been around longer. Both have fought other horror villains in their franchises, with Freddy tackling Jason (and losing, I don’t care what you say) and the Alien fighting the Predator (and losing) (twice). However, while Freddy suffered an okay-ish reboot in 2009, the alien hasn’t had to deal with its entire franchise starting over. Both have had some bad films though.
If I questioned whether or not sharks dream, I’m almost 100% sure the Xenomorph doesn’t. Like some of the other fights in this tournament, I’m not sure how this would even take place. Does Freddy hitch a ride with someone’s subconscious to get into space? Does the alien arrive in Springwood? Anything’s possible, I guess, but it will take some doing to even get this too in the same plane of consciousness to fight each other.
Before you count Freddy out of a straight-up fist fight, he did go toe-to-toe with Jason and deal some heavy damage. He’s got speed on his side, and those razor knives. The only problem is that those razor knives are only going to do so much damage before the acid blood of the xenomorph melts them down. Freddy is going to have to be very accurate with where strikes the creature from outer space. Of course, if he can somehow render the alien unconscious, then it won’t really matter what would happen in the real world. After all, the xenomorph is a living being, and all living beings have to rest at some point, right?
Who do you think can take this one? Does Freddy continue his easy road all the way to the semifinals or will the Alien prove too much for the Springwood Slasher?
Defeated: Candyman (Round 1, 357-120), The Tall Man (Round 2, 394-102)
Defeated: Ghostface (Round 1, 406-75), Frankenstein’s Monster (Round 2, 363-137)
This is what I meant earlier by intriguing fights. You have to believe that if any monster on this list can give Godzilla the biggest fight (with King Kong eliminated), it would be the Predator. The Predator lives for this sort of thing, hunting down incredibly strong game to prove that it is a tough warrior. There’s none stronger or bigger than Godzilla, the horror of Japan.
Both had relative easy paths getting here, although Godzilla had some toucher than expected fights from Candyman and The Tall Man, who relied on their cult favorite status to stick around a little longer than you would have guessed. The Predator hunted Ghostface down with ease but had some trouble with the superhuman monster created by Doctor Victor Frankenstein. This will be a much tougher hunt for that creature while Godzilla is going to have to cause even bigger destruction to take out an opponent he can’t see.
There’s no comparing their film franchises. Godzilla has had over twenty while the Predator’s only been in five. But sometimes it’s not how many movies you’ve been in but how memorable they are. Godzilla’s been in some crap (especially in the 70s) where he’s been made to look like a joke. The Predator has suffered through the Alien vs Predator movies, but he’s never really looked bad. Plus, Godzilla’s been in retirement for the last eight years.
In a fight, the Predator will have to use every weapon in its arsenal to take down the King of all Monsters. Blades, bombs, lasers, camouflage, everything. Godzilla doesn’t need much to fight, just his massive body, tail and atomic breath. The one thing he lacks is precision, and with the Predator’s stealth he can try to get around the destruction to give a killing blow. Not only that, but the Predator has a trump card should it be defeated: a time bomb that can destroy everything within a large radius. Can Godzilla survive a blast like that? Or worse, depending on if it’s irradiated, would it just make him bigger?
Who wins this battle? Does the Predator take down its biggest prey ever or will Godzilla keep stomping to the next round?
That’s it for me. Leave some comments here on or my Twitter. Some stiff competition this time, should be some surprises and upsets as we head into next week’s semi-finals!
Closing Logo courtesy of Kyle Morton (get your own custom artwork and commissions at his Etsy account)
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