A Bloody Good Time 12.22.11: Upcoming Horrors Of 2012
Opening Logo courtesy of Benjamin J. Colón (Soul Exodus)
Welcome to the A Bloody Good Time.
Next week, we look at the best of the year. That’s where I need your help. I already have a list growing of 2011 horror films I have yet to see. If it’s mainstream I’ve likely watched it already and it has NOT been a good year for most mainstream horror. I’m looking for indie suggestions. Hit me with some in the comments.
No feedback this week, as I’m running late as it is and need to get this up. Rest assured I did read everything and even though there was some stupid comments (like the one about The Shining not being on here when I explained why), I love the fact that anyone commented to begin with, as always. Thanks guys!
You know, looking into the future like I’ve been doing every year is an interesting thing. When I offer my thoughts on horror films, I often have no idea what they’ll be like. Last year, I predicted The Rite could be good (it wasn’t), Super 8 would be more horror based, like Cloverfield (not even close) and Final Destination 5 would be awful (it was really fun). I guess what I’m saying is, my opinions mean nothing this week. I’ll give them anyway, because I’m an opinionated kind of guy, but this is mainly for information for the horror nuts out there.
There’s no reason to talk any more, because we have a lot to get to. Sit back and look at things to come.
The Big Films
The Devil Inside
Directed By: William Brent Bell
Starring: Bonnie Morgan, Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman, Preston James Hillier, Evan Helmuth
Release Date: January 6
I saw the trailer of this one before Paranormal Activity and my first thought was, “oh great, another exorcism movie”. But then the possessed woman started doing crazy contortions and I don’t care how it makes me look, that always gets me to cringe a little. The cross on the bottom lip is creepy too. This movie could go either way, but as with most things I prefer to remain cautiously optimistic.
The part where I think it could be bad is the bit about combining technology with exorcisms. It’s a new twist, sure, but it doesn’t sound like a good kind. Will it be like The Rite or will it be like The Last Exorcism? I can’t really say. The trailer sure got me interested though. I’ll let you know in two weeks.
Directed By: Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Michael Ealy, Stephen Rea, Sandrine Holt, India Eisley, Theo James, Charles Dance
Release Date: January 20
Remember when everyone thought that Underworld watered down the horror genre because it was basically an action flick that just happened to have werewolves and vampires? I bet you feel awful silly now that we’ve had Twilight unleashed on us. Anyway, I liked the Underworld films. They were never scary, but they had a cool little story going on. This one finally has the humans at war with both creatures, only the vampires are the good guys! Well, Selene is, anyway.
This is supposed to be the beginning of a new trilogy, but I don’t see Kate Beckinsale sticking around for any more. My guess is that Selene will be killed off in this entry so they can move on with new characters. Here’s my question: where’s Michael? Scott Speedman isn’t listed in the cast and he seems to be missing (even Selene wonders where he is). He was pretty strong the last time we saw him, I doubt the humans just killed him off.
The Woman in Black
Directed By: James Watkins
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Janet McTeer, Ciaran Hinds, Liz White, Alisa Khazanova, Tim McMullan, Roger Allam
Release Date: February 3
I’ve been very interested in this ever since it was announced. For one, it’s the big return of Hammer. They’ve had a few films come out before this, such as the forgettable The Resident, but this has a bigger budget, a lot of hype and it could be a nice gothic horror story. Secondly, the star of the film is Daniel Radcliffe. I think anyone who is a fan of Harry Potter, or maybe even those who aren’t, are interested to see what he can do in a film like this.
This is about a man trying to sell a house with a haunted history. How many horror films have started out just like that? Even the best films contain cliches. I don’t know if this will be any good, but it certainly looks like it could be.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
Directed By: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemme Arterton, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare, Derek Mears, Thomas Mann
Release Date: March 2
This film doesn’t seem like it’ll be good at all, however. It reminds me of The Brothers Grimm, only without Terry Gilliam behind the lens and a dumber kind of a plot. Basically, after the incident with the witch in the original story, Hansel and Gretel are all grown up and hunting witches. I’m not quite sure why Hollywood always feels the need to trot out fairy tales and dress them up as dull genre mashups but here you go. They did it with Red Riding Hood last year, and we’ve still got Snow White and the Huntsman to “look forward to”.
The film’s only saving grace for me is Jeremy Renner in the lead role. I like the guy and he’s obviously a pretty big deal right now. The Avengers, Mission: Impossible 4, The Bourne Legacy, etc. If this is a success, he has yet another franchise to the list. If it’s a bomb, hey, he can afford one or two at this point in his career.
But at least if anyone ever says about the movie that “it’s not Shakespeare”, you can tell them that it IS. The writer’s name is Hannah Shakespeare.
Directed By: James Mcteigue
Starring: John Cusack, Luke Evans, Alice Eve, Brendan Gleeson, Oliver Jackson-Cohen
Release Date: March 9
Okay, at first I thought the idea of Edgar Allan Poe solving the case of a serial killer was really stupid. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided I liked the idea. Hey, if nothing else, it’s a unique idea. While I’m still not sold on John Cusack in the role of Poe (and I like Cusack), I’m more than willing to give this one a chance.
It’s another idea that is at least somewhat unique, even if it’s silly. But there are a lot sillier out there, and one of them comes out this summer! I’m a big fan of Poe, so to see a series of murders based on his stories will be neat too. I kind of hope it’s a success too, maybe we’ll get a resurgance in Poe’s popularity.
The Cabin In The Woods
Directed By: Drew Goddard
Starring: Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Kristen Connolly, Fran Kranz
Release Date: April 13
Before the trailer of this film came out, I was excited. The marketing and the fact that Joss Whedon helped put it together all got me thinking it could be a great twist on a familiar story. I’m not as big of a Whedon fan as the rest of the world seems to be, but he clearly has a mind for turning things on its ear and I expected that here. Plus, some of the posters were hilarious, like the one that commented on the constant release date changing.
But then I saw the trailer. It’s still certainly a twist on a familiar story, but I’m not sure if it’s one that I like. Check it out and see for yourself.
Directed By: Tim Burton
Starring: Johnny Depp, Jackie Earle Haley, Bella Heathcoate, Eva Green, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Chloe Grace Moretz, Alice Cooper
Release Date: May 11
Everything I’ve read about this makes me think I’m going to hate it. Even if it does have Chloe Moretz and Jackie Earle Haley in it, I’m just fed up with the whole Tim Burton deal. He’s made a few good movies, but his style is just played out, in my opinion. Plus, have you seen Johnny Depp in the lead role? He looks ridiculous. For those unaware, this based on a pretty popular soap opera with the same name.
I will say the casting of Alice Cooper intrigues me. I doubt he does much but seeing him as a vampire could be fun. I just have no interest in this one at all, especially in a summer with a lot better films to choose from.
Directed By: Ridley Scott
Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce, Ben Foster
Release Date: June 8
This is my most anticipated horror film of 2011, and I have no idea what it’s about. Okay, here’s what I do know. It may be a prequel to Alien, it may be something else. It does involve a group of scientists exploring the origins of life on Earth, and they find something. I know that the xenomorphs definitely don’t show up, but then there are reports that something like them may. I’ve also read reports that the final moments of the film lead into Alien. There’s a lot of rumors going around, basically, and not enough facts.
Personally, I like marketing like that, because it makes fans guess. Compare that to something like The Dark Knight Rises, where you almost get over-saturation from the amount of viral marketing, pictures and footage. The other thing I enjoy is the cast. Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender are great (and Magneto plays an android!), and I also like both Idris Elba and Charlize Theron. This film will probably be a big deal, even in what looks to be a very crowded summer.
Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter
Directed By: Timur Bekmambetov
Starring: Benjamin Walker, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Alan Tudyk, Rufus Sewell
Release Date: June 22
We live in a world where not only does this film exists, but it’s being given a big-budget, high profile summer release instead of fading into laughable obscurity like Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Not only that, but it’s based on a book that was beloved as well! I’m not complaining, I think it’s pretty awesome. I don’t know if I even really care how the movie turns out. Just the fact it exists is enough to get me in the theater. My brother felt the same way about Kung Fu Panda before he knew nothing else but the title. Some films are just so ridiculous sounding you have to see it.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D
Directed By: John Luessenhop
Starring: Bill Moseley, Alexandraa Daddario, Sue Rock, Tania Raymonde, Scott Eastwood, Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns, John Dugan
Release Date: October 5
Ah, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A franchise that probably has had way more terrible sequels than the original classic deserves. There’s also a remake that most people hate, but I really enjoy. Let’s not get into that debate again because we have a 3D film that I think everyone will love.
For one, I can tell the people in charge love the original. You have cameos from Marilyn Burns and Gunnar Hansen (the original Leatherface), you have Bill Moseley coming back to play one of the Sawyers. While he’s not Chop-Top, he’s still probably going to provide a fun performance as Drayton (played by the late Jim Siedow in the original). John Dugan’s even back, and I believe he’s playing Grandpa again. Plus this film is supposed to ignore everything else and take place the second that the first one ends. So if you hate the sequels, you’re not alone.
World War Z
Directed By: Marc Forster
Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, James Badge Dale, Julia Levy-Boeken, Elyes Gabel, Anthony Mackie, Bryan Cranston, David Morse
Release Date: December 21
I don’t know who was in charge of selecting the date of December 21, 2012 as the release date of this film, but that’s genius. It may be the last movie some of us ever see, at least if there are advance screenings the night before. Of course I don’t believe that will really happen, but it’s fun to joke about. If I’m right, then we all live. If I’m wrong, then well, who’s going to be around to tell me so?
Anyway, this is also based on a book that recounts the war against the zombies like it was a historical event. I haven’t actually read it, but I’ve been meaning to. I’m sure as we get closer to the release date I’ll actually get around to picking it up. I like the fact that similar to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, this will be a bigger budgeted horror film with a big star attached. Did you ever think you would see Brad Pitt in a zombie film? I sure didn’t.
Other Notable Mentions:
7500: Takashi Shimizu does something non-Grudge related for the first time in his life (okay, not really) and makes this film. It’s about a supernatural force terrorizing people on a plan. Cast includes Amy Smart and Scout-Taylor Compton.
The Apparition: What a completely unoriginal title. Ashley Green (Twilight) and Tom Felton (Harry Potter) are the stars, and it’s about a parapsychology experiment gone wrong.
Beneath The Darkness: The biggest star in this one is Dennis Quaid, and it’s about some mortician with a secret. This one will be out on DVD in February, so at least you won’t have to wait long before watching it.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance: It’s not really a horror film, but hey, demons and a dude with a skull on fire, right? I actually like the first one, although it’s more of a guilty pleasure than a good film. This one is directed by the Crank guys, so I’m on board.
Halloween 3D: I haven’t heard much about this since I read that the team of Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer dropped out of it. It’s supposed to come out in October, but given that there has been no movement, I doubt we’ll see it in 2012.
House at the End of the Street: Elisabeth Shue and Jennifer Lawrence move in a house that’s next to one where a psychotic girl murdered her parents. What secrets does the house hold? It’s PG-13, so probably nothing too horrific.
Monster Brawl: Several classic monsters battle to the death in a PPV style main event. Features what has to be one of the most random casts in history with Dave Foley, Jimmy Hart, UFC Referee Herb Dean, Kevin Nash and Lance Henriksen. Lance, you just don’t care anymore, do you?
ParaNorman: Not at all horror, but should be a cool little monster movie for kids. I’ll probably watch it, because I enjoyed Coraline.
Playback: It’s about an evil force that possesses its victims through video playback and then makes them do terrible things. Plot sounds cool on this one, even if it does contain Christian Slater. It’ll be out in February On Demand.
The Possession: This comes from Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures, and it was formerly called Dibbuk Box. Jeffrey Dean Morgan stars, so it has a solid lead. The plot is also cool, as it focuses on an evil box containing a spirit that possesses and “ultimately devours” its human host. It just happens to be inside a little girl. Could be as good as Insidious, could be entirely awful. We’ll have to wait and see.
Resident Evil: Retribution: Yeah, I’ve been done with this series for a while now, but it’s technically horror so it deserves some sort of mention. Expect it to suck like all the others and pray for the day someone decides to reboot the series.
Scary Movie 5: Yes, they still make these. If you’re wondering why, then you didn’t see the box office totals of the last one. I’m not saying I agree, I’m just saying that’s the reason.
Silent House: Elizabeth Olsen is in this, and she turned a lot of heads in Martha Marcy May Marlene. It’s another one of those “house with a past” movies, only this one is a remake of a film made in Uruguay.
Sinister: Ethan Hawke plays a journalist who discovers a box of home movies that contain grisly murders and he works to solve them. There’s supposed to be a supernatural twist to this one too, although I’m not sure what.
Stormhouse: The government traps an evil spirit in some facility and things get crazy. It’s also going straight to DVD, and the teaser will give you a good idea why.
Warm Bodies: Everything I’ve read about this sounds like Twilight with zombies. Yeah, figure that out. Sure, it’s supposed to be funny and mock those movies, but I have no faith that this could come up with any jokes that are any better than what you can read on the Internet. If you’ve read the book, let me know I’m wrong. I would love to be wrong on this.
That’s it for me. What horror film are you looking forward to? Let me know here on or my Twitter. Next week, of course, is my annual “Best Of” edition. I’ve got quite a few films to watch before then but you’ll get the top ten terrors of 2011 next week!
Closing Logo courtesy of Kyle Morton (get your own custom artwork and commissions at his Etsy account)
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