Babes, Bombs, and Blockbusters Movie News Report 07.22.08

Posted by Wendell Mitchell on 07.22.2008

The end of a partnership is near. After fighting mummies for nearly a decade, a hero sets his sights on terrorists. Ten characters I want to see on the big screen. All this and pictures of a Mean Girl that just wants her daddy, this week in Babes, Bombs, and Blockbusters!



So yeah, I'm more accustomed to scouring the interwebs for fight news, so this may prove a bit less informative than that which you guys are accustomed. Mike, apologies in advance if I drive away your readers. I swear there's no malicious intent. Okay, I'm done rambling, why don't you guys set your peepers on the lovely Ms. Amanda Seyfried.



The G Spot
The G Spot is your place for the day's movie news with the occasional cameo from the land of television.

I have two thumbs, hire me!
In a bit of news that straddles both the film and television worlds, world-renowned critic Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper have declined to continue with their show "At The Movies with Ebert and Roeper.", amidst contract disputes and a nebulous new direction for the program. Neither man has offered any further comment on the matter. What can I say? I haven't watched the show since Siskel and anytime I want Ebert's opinion, I usually just read it on-line seeing as I spend more time there than actually watching television these days.

From Fighting Mummies to Fighting COBRA
While he does have a small role, Brendan Fraser officially dispelled rumors that he would be playing Gung Ho in the upcoming live action adaptation of every 80s kid's favorite American Hero G.I. Joe. I love how enthusiastic the guy is about being in the movie.



I Hope Brad's Not a Jealous Man
According to a recent interview with Billy Bob Thornton (the guy who got to bang Halle on screen and Angelina off until he screwed that up) he is quoted as saying he and Angelina will be working on a movie together in the very near future. Despite tidbits I've come across here and there speaking to the contrary, Billy Bob and Angie are supposedly still close friends and feel that it would be fun to work together again. Hey, if Brad has no problem with it, go for it.

Maguire Fights for Truth and Justice – Minus the Colorful Spandex
The actor formerly known as Peter Parker, reunites with Director Gary Ross for a third time in the film "Crusaders," which depicts the events surrounding the landmark Brown vs. the Board of Education case that lead to the integration of schools. I actually saw a trailer for this recently and it looked decent to me. Despite my affinity for "blowed up real good" movies, I can appreciate a film of this nature.




The Trunk

I make no effort to conceal how big a geek I am. Sure, my hardened exterior and cold unblinking eyes instill a perception of "that guy will kill you if you stare at him too long," but deep down in places I don't talk about at parties, I'm a big old teddy bear that loves Superheroes. So in that regard, here are my top ten characters I'd love to see featured in a big screen blockbuster.

10. The Tick
I know, crazy, huh? But I loved the cartoon growing up. Seeing Patrick Warburton's cameo in Get Smart made me think about how much I love his voice and that he did portray the Tick in the brief live action series. Nobody loves the serious portrayals that Nolan and others have brought to the screen in recent times as much as me, but a light hearted tale featuring the big blue bug would be right up my alley.

9.Static Shock
I always dug this show and it only got better when they added him to the DC: Animated Universe. You got your teen angst, accidental acquirement of powers, balancing crime fighting with a curfew; it's like a black Spiderman but with cool electric powers.

8. Harley Quinn
She was made specifically for Batman: The Animated, but her popularity grew to the point that she was added to the comics. I like her story about literally being crazy in love with "Mr. J," and it would make a nice little side plot for Batman to deal with in the third film.

7. Darkseid
Figured I show a little love for one of Superman's most dangerous adversaries. I haven't read much of his comic incarnation, but his DC:AU counterpart was awesome. Memorable lines from him include "The oceans will boil and the streets will run red with blood" and of course "Super you may be, but you're still a man. I am a god." I've never been a huge Superman fan, but you tell me Darkseid's in the next one and he doesn't get beat in one punch, I'm there.

6. Flash
Wise-cracking Wally West version from, you guessed it, the DC:AU gets my vote for another fun, light hearted Super hero film. If not his own film, at least part of an ensemble, where I think he would be a better fit anyway.

5. Wonder Woman
Joss Whedon's vision may have fell through, but I still would love to see the mighty Amazon make her big screen debut. I loved Linda Carter's show back in the day and would love to see the character get her own big budget beat ‘em up.

4. Ralph Hinkley
Not familiar with him? Why he's only the Greatest American Hero of all time. I remember watching this show on FX when the channel first debuted and was upset they didn't finish the show. So fast forward a decade or so and my ex-wife procures the entire series. You couldn't tear me away from the tv. Believe it or not, I was walking on air.





3. Batman Beyond
Yeah, this list is heavy on the Bat, but that's the way it is. I heard they were looking to making a live film, but scratched it for whatever reason. I think it would have done okay, at least as well as Batman and Robin before people realized how horrid it was.

2. Bane
We're talking cold, calculating, back breaking Bane here. Not the less intense animated version (though his screams of "I will break you" put a smile on my face) or the whatever the hell that was in Batman and Robin. You just know Nolan could do wonders with him. Venom is only one step beyond under the counter steroids, right? And he doesn't even have to break the Bat. Just do all the stuff leading up to it and I'll be happy.

1. Night Wing
You would be hard-pressed to find a bigger fan of the Batman mythos than myself. That's why my number one pick involves the man that would be (and in certain continuity has been) the successor to the Cape and Cowl. How awesome would a Night Wing movie be?

There you have it. At anytime, my opinions on 4-10 can change. Feel free to share any comic book heroes or villains you'd love to see make it to the big screen.



Come Again?: Your Joke Source

Come Again?: Your Joke Source

What A Coincidence
A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. "I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are you celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence", the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.

Three Guys

An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a nice place.
Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place called Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Polish guy, "but it happened to my sister!"




Tuesday Hot Shot
Amanda Seyfried is the star of this past weekend's no 2. film Mamma Mia, but some of you may remember her as one of the Mean Girls. I am not ashamed to admit that prior to penning this article, I saw her in Mamma Mia and enjoyed her performance. Keep a look out for her as she stars in the comedy Boogie Woogie and the black comedy Jennifer's Body where she and Megan Fox will fight in their underwear – you know for guys that like that sort of thing.



Well that does it for this week. Mike should be back in next week. Take care.


(All information and gossip gathered from Fark.com, Aintitcoolnews.com, Hollywoodreporter.com, Hollywood.com, Reuters.com, Dirtyjokesinc.com, Variety.com, TMZ.com)