Movies/TV’s 3R’s 08.28.12: Robocop, Vince Vaughn, The Office, Snooki, More
Welcome to Week 165 of The 3 R’s for the Movie/TV world.
Pre-column note: I ordered Daredevil (Director’s Cut) from Amazon last week but still haven’t received the DVD. Don’t blame me – I wanted the “over $25” free shipping deal. Also, I ordered it very late in the week. OK, blame me a little. So hang tight just a little while longer Daredevil fans. Your time will come.
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Without any further ado, here is…
Back to the story, Vince Vaughn YOU WANNA DANCE, BURGUNDY? I WANNA POLKA! Now I’m mad at myself.
Chatting with U.K. press about “The Watch,” Vince Vaughn teased that KQHS Channel 9 Evening News Team anchor Wes Mantooth stands pretty good odds at returning. “The chances are better than not that Wes Mantooth will be there,” he said.
Of all the amazing lines in “Anchorman,” one of the most oddly enduring has been Mantooth’s outburst during a verbal showdown with Ron, that “Dorothy Mantooh is a saint!” Will we finally get to see the woman who has stoked such passion in Wes Mantooth? It would be a helluva role to fill (and we think it’s probably best left to to the imagination) but Vaughn has the casting suggestion of the year. “I don’t know if anyone can fill that role, she’s such a saint. Angela Lansbury as Dorothy?” That would actually rule. – The Playlist via Empire
This is a better use of Vaughn’s time rather than trying to make Sullivan & Son happen. I’m sitting watching late-night reruns of Married with Children then boom 27 Sullivan & Son ads followed by 53 different variations of the new Nicki Minaj Adidas commercial. I can’t get it out of my head and it’s annoying the heck out of me. (Happy news: it was fixed by this week’s edition of Gratuitous Adorable Animal Video of the Week.) Furthermore, ugh @ Nicki Minaj.
“This year feels like the last chance to really go out together and make an artistic ending for the show that pays off a lot of the stuff that matters most to fans,” Daniels announced to reporters Tuesday. “This will be the last season of The Office. And we’re planning a very big exciting last season. We’re going to have a lot of faces coming back … There are a lot of things that I’ve personally been wanting to do since season two … All questions will be answered this year. We’re going to see who’s behind the documentary … Now that we know we have an end date we can blow things up and take some chances and it will be very freeing, creatively.” – Entertainment Weekly
About time. You may think I’m bouncing on the bed over the news, and I kind of am, but it was time. The show had a good run on television as one of the more creative and best programs on television – don’t forget the HUGE ratings it brought in as well – but once it became a shell of its former self you could tell it was over. At least they did the sensible thing and decided to end it before they lost the rest of their remaining key players.
I want The Office to go balls out for their final season: bring back former cast members (open up the “return of Steve Carell” rumors) and wrap up all the loose ends in a creative firework display. Go out with arms swinging in every direction. Grab the good ideas and paintball them endlessly on camera.
Or do that for 12 episodes.
We’ve known for some time that Netflix will release the new season of “Arrested Development” next year, but the time frame has been somewhat vague.
However, according to a spokesperson for Netflix, Season 4 will arrive in spring. Netflix still hasn’t released an exact date for the return of the Bluth clan, but we’re one step closer to knowing when we’ll be able to taste the happy. – Huffington Post
If you click the link and continue reading, the article mentions the possibility on expanding the episode count from the originally ordered 10 episodes to 13. And don’t forget, they are still scheduled to be available all at once. Taste the happy indeed.
And now we play the waiting game.
I don’t know which side of the fence I want to be in. Hugh Laurie would have made an awesome Robocop villain and fit in well with the renowned sized cast of Gary Oldman, Michael K. Williams, Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Earle Haley, leftover extras from The Walking Dead, and everyone from the Expendables franchise. But on the other hand the script is terrible. Sure, still an early version of it, but still terrible. Definitely have mixed feelings over this…
…until I read, according to Deadline, that Clive Owen is one of the few in line to fill the villain role. And just like that, things just momentarily became awesome again.
UPDATE: And now it doesn’t sound all that awesome again. Darn Hollywood mood swings. I initially posted this in the Right section but after reading about director Jose Padilha’s tale of woe that came in on Monday, I moved it over a section. Doesn’t sound pretty.
Padilha’s close friend and fellow Brazilian filmmaker Fernando Meirelles (‘City of God,’ ‘360′) spoke recently to South American web site Cinemacom Rapadura and revealed some details from conversations he’s had with Padilha about the ‘RoboCop’ reboot:
“I talked to José Padilha for a week by phone. He will begin filming Robocop. He is saying that it is the worst experience. For every 10 ideas he has, 9 are cut. Whatever he wants, he has to fight. “This is hell here,” he told me. “The film will be good, but I never suffered so much and do not want to do it again.” He is bitter, but it’s a fighter.”
Now keep in mind two things. 1) These are not direct quotes from Padilha, but quotes relayed by a friend. 2) The article was written in Portuguese and the quotes were translated into English. That said, even if the words to match perfectly, the sentiment is most definitely there. Jose Padilha is having a tough time. – Screen Rant via Cinemacom Rapadura
We should know better than suggest studios to not dip their hands into a movie product in which they precisely hired a director to do that sort of work for them. We’d just be pounding sand all day long. Never a vacation when the director and studio are duking it out and making each other’s life a living hell. One good thing comes to mind, however, and it’s that Padilha cares so much about the movie that he wants to make it on his terms, instead of becoming a Yes Man and doing what MGM wants him to do. So naturally they’re going to fire Padilha, replace him with some easily intimidated schmo, and have Robocop (now played by Kevin James) team up with Lil Wayne in a buddy comedy titled Robocop & Me: Robo By The Hood only for the film to be postponed for a 2014 release. It will end up making approx. $1,000,000,000.
Let’s be real, we all had to have known this for quite some time, but it still brings me joy in bringing you a little bit deeper into the truth, especially those who hate reality TV and want to throw a brick at their screen whenever there’s a new Real Housewives show. Of course the cure would be less stupid crap on television but we shouldn’t hold our breathe.
The caliber of producers and executives in reality TV is terrible because reality shows are so cheap — you can make a whole season of a reality show for the cost of one episode of CSI, so the network just promotes a bunch of knuckleheads to be the producers. So you have to manipulate more than you should — nothing happened on the show because the producers didn’t do anything.
One show that really walked the line was a design competition show — as the show went on, the network became aware of what characters viewers were responding to, and the actual competition got lost and it was just like, “who do we want to kick off this week? How can we manipulate things so one person leaves or one person stays?” One season the winner was supposed to win their own show, and the network continuously kept this cast member who was far less qualified and far less intelligent than the others but who was cute and bubbly and filled a demographic niche they were looking to fill for a host on their network. By the end the network got their way, and she won. But it turned out she had just gotten pregnant, but they were like, “oh, we don’t want a pregnant lady.” They worked it out somehow with her — she never got a show. It was kind of shitty, although it was also poetic justice that the network pushed this lesser product and it backfired. – Buzzfeed
Very very juicy stuff and that was just ONE portion of the article. I encourage you to put on your reading glasses (oh wait you’re reading this column. You should already have them on) and read the rest of the article.
The tl;dr version: television executives are cheap, hires kunckleheads to manipulate reality shows to their liking, and thinks you are 2 dumb to notice hurrrrrr.
Justin Bieber making a cameo in an upcoming episode of The Simpsons does a thorough job in dashing all the goodwill away.
Justin Bieber has just completed vocals on his latest project: A guest spot on The Simpsons. The 18-year-old singer, who wasn’t born when the animated Fox comedy launched, tweeted this afternoon: “just did a voice over for the SIMPSONS!!! #swaggy.” Though the tweet appears to have since been deleted, Simpsons exec producer Al Jean confirms to EW that Bieber will indeed play himself in an upcoming episode. How exactly does he fit into the story? “He tries to get into a talent show that Bart is playing piano in and they won’t admit him,” says Jean, quipping: “Draw your own conclusions.” – Entertainment Weekly
You want to be that way Simpsons? Fine. Go ahead and put his swaggy doo-doo face on the air. I don’t care. You can have all the stupid celebrities you want on the show until there are no more to Simpsonize. I’ll just stay here and post random tumblr pictures from the glory days. #thatwillshowyou #Simpsonsdidit #swaggy
Images and GIFs via mmmSimpsons.
But that was before the age of technology, before when parents didn’t see fit to camera phone their hysterical crying children after the screening of the “feel good movie” and post it on the Internet. For. Over. Two. Minutes. Also, spoilers and stuff ahead:
I don’t want to confess but I did snicker a couple of times. I guess that puts me on par with those parents. Still, suck it up kids. Not like I ever cried during a movie except for the time I saw Toy Story 3 and the screen did something to my eyes that magically made them a little watery. IT WAS A SCREEN MALIFUNCTION OK!
Passion is story of seduction and manipulation, of dominance and servitude, between two business woman caught in a deadly corporate game of Chutes and Ladders. Rapace finds out the truth in trying to succeed in a cruel business where her mentor (McAdams) steals her ideas, thus setting the motions for Rapace to go on a murderous path of revenge.
Rachel McAdams…..Noomi Rapace…..lesbians…..yep, you have my money! – raw7734
Rachel McAdams & Noomi Rapace in a lesbian love making scene? The Navy SEALs could not stop me from seeing this movie! – alphacause
fpapfapfpafpapfpafp – ut2k4wikichici
Me: Mmmmm…. Rachel McAdams AND Noomi Rapace in a lesbian scene.
Penis: Yes please!!! – AcesVideos132
I’m sorry I couldn’t hear any of you over all the girl on girl action. – ShpeshalEd
two Hot Lesbians yes thank you God I know that the theater floor is going to be sticky you know what I mean guys – bigcorn0824
Dear Hollywood: if you can’t give us a decent film that isn’t a remake, at least give us lesbians. Thanks. – 182fca
Brian De Palma is an old perv. Look at “Femme Fatale” and “The Black Dahlia”, only excuses to shoot lesbian scenes with hot girls – Matthy Ennex
Try to bring a little grace and civility to the table and get called an old perv in return. Well scissor me timbers.
(I have a slight feeling Mr. Skin is going to have a large quantity of traffic on his website after premiere weekend. And the GIFs? My gosh the GIFs.)
Snooki’s baby boy has arrived! “The world just got another Guido!!!” a rep for reality star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi told Access Hollywood on Sunday. “Lorenzo Dominic LaValle has entered the world weighing 6lbs, 5oz. Nicole, Jionni & Enzo are doing great!”
The new mom, 24, couldn’t resist sharing her happiness with Twitter fans. “I am SO IN LOVE with my son Lorenzo Dominic!” she Tweeted. “I had my little man last night, healthy at 6lbs! HE’S MY WORLD!”
Little Lorenzo was born at approximately 3 AM on Sunday at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, New Jersey, MTV reported. – Website
Now that her ordeal is over we can get back to our lives, except the part where the Internet had some guesses on what the baby would look like. I’m never one to make fun of someone else’s little pride and joy but my hands are clean. Never mind I’m essential promoting hilarious pictures of what the Internet thinks the little munchkin feasibly looks like. Hands are clean.
My top 3 chooses:
Man, the Internet sure is a naughty place sometimes. Oh who am I kidding?
For a more complete list, visit Uproxx
Ripa was promised a new co-host Sept. 4, nine months after longtime partner Philbin said farewell to the syndicated Live with Regis & Kelly daytime talk show after a 28-year run.
Now an executive familiar with the show’s plans confirms Philbin’s replacement is Strahan, a star of short-lived Fox sitcom Brothers. The news was first reported by Broadcasting & Cable.
Strahan was one of 59 co-hosts Disney ABC Television Group has tried out over the past several months, some as larks (Neil Patrick Harris) and others as serious candidates, including Saturday Night Live’s Seth Meyers, said to have been a finalist despite his denials that he wanted the job. – USA Today
Now I don’t watch Live With Kelly so maybe I’m out of bounds in my element here, but huh? Michael Strahan? I don’t have anything against him – one of my favorite non-favorite-team moments was of him winning a Super Bowl ring against the snooty New England Patriots in 2007 – but this just seems like a weird choose. Maybe Strahan will handle the role well but was he a particularly better chose than Seth Meyers or Neil Patrick Harris? Seems to me the producers just threw down a stack of photos on the ground and whichever one landed closest to Michael Geiman was awarded the gig. Ah, the decision making powers of the television industry.
Personally I don’t see Ripa and Strahan meshing well but I’m not exactly a morning person so what do I know. I don’t drink coffee or wake up nice and chipper so obviously I’m not the target audience.
Gratuitous Adorable Animal Video of the Week
This is just what the column needed: more hippy hop music! Literally! With baby babies and a fresh dope beat! So tiny and cute! GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*.
* – It was at this point where the Internet momentarily broke me. Not the Alison Brie rap video. Nope. It was a music video with various shots of baby bunnies. Leave me be.
I don’t mean to double dip but after last week’s sensational video of a cat singing the Game of Thrones opening theme, how can I not post the follow up of a dog doing the same? I look forward to next week when a humpback whale sings the Adventure Time theme.
I liked Daredevil as well. Not a perfect movie at all, and theres some moments are pretty awful…like the friendly fight between Matt and Elektra. I’m a Ben Affleck fan (more for his early and more recent work), but hes not suited for the role of Daredevil…I think Matt Damon would have been a better casting choice. Theres a lot to like in the movie though, including the scene of Murdock describing his senses in the rain. Roger Ebert loved that sequence too, and it is really strong and touching.
The Directors Cut is very interesting too. It is a darker and more complete film.
Okay, that semi-Daredevil trailer is pretty cool. And I prefer to think it as from the director of Narc, instead of the director of The A-Team. Daredevil needs the kind of dark, serious edge of Narc.
Argh….LeBeouf is such a whining and ungrateful little snot these days. I liked him in Disturbia…managed to be likeable but have a bit of an edge. Since then he’s been on acting autopilot, and then shoots his mouth off about how everyone else isn’t doing their jobs correctly. Not that I thought Crystal Skull was a great movie, but Shia badmouths it to the press, and right to Spielberg’s face himself. When LaBeouf has made a movie like Close Encounters or Schindlers List, I’ll be able to take his views on what is and isn’t a good movie seriously.
Sad and very surprising news about Tony Scott. Can’t say I was really a fan…more recent stuff like Domino, Man On Fire, Pelham 123 were all pretty terrible. But I love True Romance and Last Bout Scout, and it was nice that his final movie, Unstoppable, was good, solid entertainment, and his most enjoyable movie since probably Enemy Of The State. – Posted By: Earl (Guest)
I wish I had the DVD copy with me so I could run this comment along with my post-reactions. I’ll have to come back to it when I eventually see it. Regarding LaBeouf, he may have a mouth on him but I also think he got dealt a bad hand. Being in bad movies and in the butt of all Transformers jokes can’t be good for his self-esteem.
I stand by it– DKR. Good, not awesome. I absolutely understand people who still think it’s awesome: it’s new. Wait a year, compare it to the other two. It’s like Jedi next to Empire. – Posted By: Guest#2126 (Guest)
I was just razzin’ ya. I appreciate your stance on the issue and maybe time will threaten the quality for DKR but for now I like to say it was truly awesome, start to finish.
But that doesn’t mean the film is free from satire!
another awful thing about Oh Sit: It’s called Oh Sit – Posted By: Guest#2796 (Guest)
Excellent point. As if a program with a corny pun for a title was really going to succeed on network TV. Har har har.
First off, after finally seeing it this weekend, I agree with Guest#2126. DKR was good, not amazing.
” You’re in that big Danger Zone in the sky now.”
Nope. Catholic religion, which as we all know is the best religion to ever religion us at all (and the movie Constantine), tells us that suicides do not pass go, they do not collect $200, and they do not get to go to the big Danger Zone in the sky. – Posted By: someone had to say it… (Guest)
I should have immediately realized it. Suicide is not a favorable proposition to gain entry into heaven. More like he’s in the big Danger Zone in… under the ground. Bah, doesn’t sound as nice.
I died a little inside reading that bit about the Robocop reboot.
I havnt watched SNL in many years, had no idea Abbie Elliot existed, but that last gif of her is amazing. Damn that girl is cute. Coupled with the fact shes Chris Elliots daughter… Wow! – Posted By: APrince66 (Guest)
That was my favorite one too. And cake!
Johnny Ace as the Scooby villian! There is no other way! – Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest)
Why not? (Also, Johnny Bravo.)
I think the Scooby-Doo/WWE team-up will be fun. I used to love the Harlem Globetrotters, Vincent Price, and Three Stooges (I think) – Scooby pairings. Why not? It’s all fun. – Posted By: The Big Fat F*g (Guest)
This is one of the few instances – or maybe the only instance – where WWE’s unsparing waver towards kid-friendly television produced a delightfully intriguing idea. Of course it alone doesn’t counterbalance the awful ideas that came of it but hey, that’s one good thing at least.
thanks for giving DARE DEVIL another viewing…
most just go in to films with expectations so high that they are set to fail!
on top of that people also hate certain actors and downgrade good movies because of it…
make sure you watch the directors cut…
theyre is a difference…
(DD is a great example of a studio ruining a good movie by trying to control everything!)
i really feel most movies need 2 viewings.. especially if its 1 you dont like while many others do.. its the only way to give a movie a fair review…
ex:HELLBOY… when it 1st come out, i hated it! i went & saw pt 2 anyway & loved it! so last year i went and bought both of them, figured id give it another shot, and i was pleasantly surprised, while its not as good as pt 2 it is a good movie… im not sure why i ever hated it…
another is V FOR VENDETTA, ill be giving that another chance this week…
im with you, the proposed DD movie looked promising, i would have loved to see it done in that style!
its a shame it will never happen!
no we will get DD disney edition, a movie no one wants!
looper looks interesting, it has a good cast as well…
i just heard about it a week ago, saw it in the previews for:
WHICH IS A AWESOME F’N MOVIE!!!
IF YOUR A FAN OF VIOLENT, WELL CHOREOGRAPHED MARTIAL ARTS FILMS YOU SHOULD SEE THIS!
LeBouef is right! people can hate on him all they want but it doesnt change the facts… studios constantly ruin movies, thats why there are so many directors cuts & thats why when a movie is based on a book or other published work they tend to drop the ball…
studios are afraid of originality… because they dont have stats on how it will sell!
thats why we get so many stupid fuckin remakes!!!
directors should be given freedom & control over their films, period!
wow, walter eddie white looks a lot like walt aka heisenberg!
so is breaking bad based on a true story?
cause its a strange coincidence that they have the same name & profession…
oh and thanks for reminding me about surf ninjas!!!
i loved that movie when i was younger…
i had completely forgot about it… – Posted By: Guest#7838 (Guest)
– One time as a kid I saw The Toy five times in twelve days. It was fantastic.
– I liked both Hellboy movies but have not yet seen V for Vendetta. I really should put it on “Need to Watch” list. *films marks #145 on list*
– Breaking Bad is not based on a true story. Last week’s story just happened to be a big coincidence. Update: he was caught.
– Directors should be given the freedom to direct their movies but, well, you’ve read the latest Robocop news…
– I loved Surf Ninjas. Name me one other movie that has Leslie Nielsen, bro hijinks, and a magical Game Gear. YOU CAN’T! Although I maintain that real surf ninjas only surf at night. MOVIE SURF NINJAS BRING GREAT DISHONOR TO WAVE.
Wow..”High Praise from Ceaser”
Scooby Doo and the WWE…what at the end of the cartoon..it was revealed that Ted Turner was the villian..that he was trying to scare some people away and ruin wrestling (insert own joke)..the Rock then comes down and rock bottoms Ted Turner for his evil deeds and then Rock Bottoms Fred for wearing that stupid scarf and not scoring with Daphne…yeah good times. – Posted By: Rob (Guest)
There is no way I can photoshop that into a decent image. I tried drawing it on MS Paint but turned into a hot mess. Do your thing, imagination.
Last word: Gamers mourned last week at the news that Nintendo Power, the long-running video game magazine who taught kids the power of reading and how to beat Super Metroid, would cease publication at the end of this year. I wrote a column about it. Perhaps you’d like to read it?
R.I.P. Nintendo Power. (PS: the Earthbound scratch and sniff pamphlet was something fuuunnnky.)
Now go away. I’m too engulfed with Sleeping Dogs at the moment. Then Madden 2013. Then outdoors. The terror.