Movies/TV’s 3R’s 12.04.12: Justice League, Wonder Woman, X-Men, The Hobbit, More
Welcome to Week 179 of The 3 R’s for the Movie/TV world.
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Without any further ado, here is…
And this is what he plans to do for the movie:
And that’s how a clunky paragraph made me forgot about Brett Ratner.
Sources confirm that Hugh Jackman is in negotiations to reprise his Wolverine role in the movie, which is ostensibly a sequel to X-Men: First Class but will prominently feature actors from the first X-Men trilogy (the first two of which Singer directed).
Days of Future Past is a classic storyline that unfolded in two issues of Marvel Comics’ Uncanny X-Men in 1981, from writer Chris Claremont and artists John Byrne and Terry Austin. The story was partially set in an alternate future where surviving mutants have been penned in concentration camps, giant robots called Sentinels patrol America, and most of the X-Men have been hunted and killed. In the present day, the X-Men were forced to stop a key event from unfolding in order to keep that future from occurring. – THR
*still temporary unconscious, though I can tell you I’m really excited about it*
So, yeah, CW wants to create their own Wonder Woman TV show. I’ll start contacting the Jonas Brothers and see if one of them is still good for a mild lava bath.
To all actresses in their early to mid-20s who are 5’8″ or taller — you may be TV’s next Wonder Woman. I’ve learned that Warner Bros TV, the studio behind the CW drama project Amazon, has hired casting directors Barbara Fiorentino and Danielle Aufiero to launch a search for the lead in the project in anticipation of a potential pilot pickup. A breakdown for the role has been released, providing a glimpse into the Tarzan-like fish-out-of-water premise and the central character of the Wonder Woman origin story written by Allan Heinberg that chronicles the female superhero’s life as a young Amazonian, before she becomes a warrior princess with super powers.
On the breakdown I’ve obtained, her name is Iris (not Diana). “Iris comes from a remote, secluded country and until now has spent most of her life as a soldier and a leader on the battlefield. Because of relentless brutality of her life at home, Iris looks at our world with absolute awe and astonishment. She’s delighted ¬and just as often horrified ¬ by the aspects of everyday life that we take for granted: skyscrapers, traffic, ice cream. It’s all new and fascinating and sometimes slightly troubling ¬to her. Iris is completely unschooled in our world, our culture, our customs. And she’s completely inexperienced at interpersonal relationships. She has no social filter, does not suffer fools, and tends to do and say exactly what’s on her mind at all times. She’s bluntly, refreshingly honest. She can tell when you’re lying to her. And she doesn’t have time or patience for politics or tact because she’s too busy trying to experience everything our world has to offer. There are too many sights to see ¬and things to learn ¬and people to care for. Hers is a true, noble, and generous heart. And she will fight and die for the people she loves. Iris is a fierce warrior with the innocent heart of a romantic ¬and she will fight to the death to make the world safe for innocents and true romantics everywhere.” – Deadline
If you noticed her name is Iris and not Diana, never fear – writer Allan Heinberg confirmed that Iris is a code name used to avoid attention. Sooooo it didn’t work?
I can understand CW’s desire to want another Smallville-esque success story in combo with their rising hot Arrow TV show. A quick glance at the synopsis suggests Amazon will be, as Topless Robot puts it, “a Brundleflyian fusion of the worst elements of Lois & Clark: The Adventures of Superman and Sex & The City.” Wonder Woman be fightin’ crime and shoppin’ y’all! Her night will always end with a bowl of ice cream and 2 Broke Girls on the tube.
I’ll admit the script isn’t the most Amazonianist as far as comic book stories go, but then I am in like with Wonder Woman and want her to finally grab the brass ring of cable television. We can also have fun picking and choosing the next CW-level actress to play as the lead. My choice still remains Gina Carano. I don’t care if she’s not within the tight mid-20s range and over 5’10. She is my home girl and I will dare not let you talk wicked ill about her!
Second option: Kat Dennings. She seems nice.
No animals were harmed in the making of this video. (Beside the ones after production *cough*)
And for good measure, you can listen to The Hobbit parody music video set to LMFAO’s “Shots.” A little hobbit drinking here and a little hobbit trickery there, and boom everything is kept real.
Boy, they sure do say shots a lot.
Source: JGL’s representatives also love to punt puppies into the ocean. For no reason.
I’m always down for more JGL, but slotting him as the new Batman? Not stupid at all! Of course the ending of Dark Knight Rises made a huge fuss about how his character John Blake has Robin for a first name, and as far as nerd law is concerned, you just don’t make the jump from Robin to Batman, except the time Dick Grayson did it for a little while in Batman: Reborn before becoming Nightwing again.
By the way, JGL as Nightwing will work for me too. Skip Robin, go straight into Nightwing.
While Nolan did leave the DKR ending open-ended for interpretation, it’s not hard to figure out what he had in mind when he left JGL, future Batman for hire, with the Batcave. Of course this would all depend on canonization and whether they want to rope the Man of Steel franchise along for the ride. Perhaps establish the connection in a Marvel-esque post-credits sequence for the upcoming Superman movie? Oh man, I believe a second inhaler is in order for me here.
But sadly those dream bubbles – basically everything said up this point – have been put in the recycle bin for now. And there is still three more years of wheezing rumors before the whole movie is finalized. I want a Justice League as much as the next reader – I personally don’t care if the film is canonized in the Nolan universe or not as long as the movie is, you know, good – but I am not looking forward to the barrage of rumors that’ll surely create the next deadly dandruff storm of the certain decade.
The condensed version of the blurb:
Poor Brad Pitt. The man tries so hard, and yet despite scoring over 70% on Rotten Tomatoes, Killing Them Softly will end up with a failing a big failed pile of fail. The good news: the film only cost $15 million to make and still had a better opening than The Assassination of Jesse James, the last Pitt-director Andrew Dominik collaboration. Not just a better opening but a better theatrical run! Positivity! Nowhere to go but up.
No one cared about The Collection and I figure you don’t too.
On a related note, Skyfall is still a massive success. I wanted to point it out so you could go see it again. Better than the alternatives.
*CTRL + F*
*types in “Lohan”*
*counts number of searches in terms of news posts found from 11/26/12 to 12/3/12*
Final number: 17. This is the (approximate) number of news posts regarding Lindsay Lohan that exists within the inner lodes of 411mania in the past week. Honestly I thought it’ll be higher. That’s not even mentioning my Liz & Dick review. Oh? Did you not read about my review on the hilariously terrible Lindsay Lohan Lifetime Looksee? Now is your chance. Good ahead. I can wait.
Dot dot dot dot dot
Glad to have you back.
Lo-Lo has been keeping it difficult for the newsflash spotlight to stay off her lately. Here is a list that Lohan has been involved with in seven days:
– Got upset over Liz & Dick criticism when she said she wasn’t going to read any reviews
– Blames script
– Punched a fortune teller, called her a “f**king gypsy”
– Arrested for punching a fortune teller
– Called her lesbian fling a phase
– Was scheduled to be charged with three different crimes, not including the fight
– Was helped by Charlie Sheen of all people in regards to her crippling tax debt or whatever
– Got her bank accounts seized
– Has been drinking two liters of vodka a day
– Refuses to go to rehab despite urges from friends
– A CBS affiliate has put the ban hammer on all Lohan stories
I think it’s fair to point out that some of the headlines listed above are utterly pointless, but also fair to say that Lohan is having a pretty bad
week month year time at life. I really don’t know what will get through to this girl. Jail time in the slammer during the holidays sounds like the thing to finally snap Lohan back into a healthy lifestyle, one where she isn’t forcing the media to consistently hound her every move. Too bad this is Lindsay we are talking about, so who knows anymore.
On a related note, here’s Danielle Fishel as Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor. Pop culture is what pop culture does.
In addition to the very first video (included below), Funny or Die went ahead and made a brand new second video of his continued assault upon the polluted world. Then they made another one. And another one. They were able to make a Captain Planet trilogy (plus one) and yet a modern Hollywood Flash movie remains untouched. Hey Capt, you missed a spot.
One word review: treemendous.
GIFs thanks via
Obviously we have a troublemaker in Sactown. He’s climbin’ in yo windows, he’s slapping yo people up for no reason, tryin’ to provoke ‘em. So y’all need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cause he makin’ trouble for everyone out here.
I like how he casually escaped by use of an electric cart. He like a honey badge he don’t care.
UPDATE: He’s been caught and arrested! The local nightmare is over. For now…
Katt Williams was arrested on Sunday following a bar fight in Seattle … during which he allegedly threatened people with a pool cue, this according to Seattle police.
According to police, Williams “brandished a pool cue at a bar manager and refused to leave the business” and later followed a family outside of the bar where he threw a cigarette at a woman as she got into her car, hitting her in the eye.
Police say Williams also threw a rock at the car. – TMZ
UPDATE x2: Aww crap he’s already out thanks to Suge Knight. I’m going to go back to boarding up the windows.
Also known as: The Perfect Movie.
Man, those classic Sylvester and Tweety cartoons have all been a lie.
THIS GAME’S WINNER IS: the accurate Treehouse of Horror episode where Reggie duped Bart’s evil twin brother into a sucker punch (63.83%) via a Wii U controller over Nintendo ball smash (36.17%). More than half of the world agrees: you’d let Reggie punch you in the face, just for the thrill of it all.
This week: the Olympics! In hilarity GIF form!
Whoever made the shark one did a fantastic job but I still have to go with uncontrollable Olympic Superman. I don’t care if it’s fake or not. You fly like that and people are going to want to talk about you.
Last word: I would rather the Niners have lost than be involved in another tie again. That would have been embarrassing. But then I think about the immortal words of Al Bundy, “If you lose to the Rams you get thrown out of the league.” And all of a sudden, a sad is had. By me.