Movies/TV’s 3R’s 12.18.12: Justice League, Pacific Rim, Star Trek, Ricky Gervais, More
Welcome to Week 181 of The 3 R’s for the Movie/TV world.
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Without any further ado, here is…
Now I want to join them even more after hearing about their latest surprise exclusive – according to Latino Review’s sources, the storyline for Justice League will be based on Justice League of America issues #183-185.
Released back in 1980, issues 183-185 were the annual team-up for the Justice League of America and the Justice Society of America.
In a nutshell, plotwise, the three issue arc involves Darkseid planning the destruction of Earth by blasting it with a ray that’ll move Apokolips into the Earth’s place.
Sounds like some Armageddonesque end of the Earth as we know it kind of stakes fit for summer tentpole event film if you ask me. – Latino Review
Oh, those Justice League of America issues? I remember them. No wait, no I don’t. I was still unborn back in 1980, which is as good an excuse as any to find out what these particular issues are about. DC Wikiabase ahoy!
On their way to their annual joint meeting, being held this year simultaneously on Earth-1 and Earth-2, several members of the Justice League and Justice Society are abducted via the Transmatter to New Genesis, home of the New Gods (as seen in New Gods, Forever People, and Mr. Miracle). The New Gods seek their aid after the remaining populace of New Genesis has been kidnapped and enslaved by the minions of Apokolips, the evil world that is New Genesis’s counterpart, and they reveal that Apokolips’s new allies are the members of the Earth-2 Injustice Society. The heroes split up into teams, composed of one JLA member, one JSA member, and one “New God” each, and speed to various locales to undo the Apokolipsians’ evil, only to discover that their ultimate plan is the revival of their late leader, Darkseid. – Via
In battle against the three Injustice Society villains, Firestorm defeats the Shade, while Power Girl and Orion vanquish the Icicle, but the Fiddler overcomes all three long enough to return Darkseid to life. Meanwhile, the other heroes have not been idle. Super-man, the Earth-2 Wonder Woman, and Big Barda en-counter the Underground Fighters, a group of children living beneath the fortress of Granny Goodness, the training-mistress of Darkseid’s elite troops. Dr. Fate, Green Lantern, and Oberon rescue Izaya (also called Highfather), the leader of the New Gods, from his Apokolips prison. Batman, Huntress, and Mr. Miracle invade Darkseid’s Imperial Palace, where they uncover his plot to transport Apokolips into the universe of Earth-2 to supplant and thus destroy the homeworld of the Justice Society heroes. – Via
While Green Lantern, Dr. Fate, Oberon, and Izaya battle Darkseid’s Para-Demons, and Superman, Wonder Woman of Earth-2, and Big Barda help the young freedom fighters liberate the “students” of Granny Goodness, the Batman-Huntress-Mr. Miracle team rescues first the Firestorm-Power Girl-Orion group, and then the Injustice Society, whom Darkseid has imprisoned once he had no further use of them. The heroes and villains together then foment a revolution among the captive Nevv Genesisians, and Firestorm proves the deciding factor in the final battle between Darkseid and Orion, by turning the dark god’s “Omega Force” back upon him. It is Metron who truly comes to the rescue, though, by reprogramming the villain’s de-vices so that it is Darkseid, not Earth-2, which is the target. With the Apokolips leader apparently destroyed, the battle is over, and the JLA and JSA return to their respective worlds. – Via
I bet your dandruff flakes are quivering in excitement, huh?
While it all seems like a reasonable amount of story and background for a two hour motion picture, it still doesn’t have a director attached to do director things, like made sure the film doesn’t become an elaborate mess as some will predict it to be. And don’t give it to Peter Jackson. He’ll take the first issue and make it Part 1 of a 57 movie epic. All of them 5-8 hours long. All of them riddled with 72 fps and 4D technology. He just won’t be able to control himself. (For this very reason, please do not give him the Hulk Hogan sex tape either.)
Let’s discuss the trailer bits:
- So giant aliens called Kaiju rise from a dimensional portal – I’m going to go ahead and call it Dimension X – hidden in the Pacific Ocean.
- Giant human-driven robots (called Jaegers) vs. giant sea monster pre-battle montages!
- I hinted at it in the paragraph above, now comes the reveal: holy crap it’s the voice of GLaDOS. She’s found work!
- The prototype used to create full-body suits to pilot the robots? A refined version of the Nintendo Power Glove i.e. one that works. (Only exists in the movie The Wizard.) Guess that makes up for the Virtual Boy. (Nah.)
- Evangelion was my initial dip into the non-dubbed English world of Japanese animation. So naturally it was my thought when I saw the trailer for the first time. Saw a little bit of Big O in there too. I bet another of the film’s inspiration came from Del Toro spending a whole weekend watching the complete series. Of every robot anime in existence ever.
- Charlie Day! Let’s talk about Charlie Day. Isn’t he great? I think so. Oh, he looks great in the trailer too.
- BRAAAAHHMM! BRAAAHHMMMM!
- “Robert Smith, hit her nose. Use robot punch!” *Raabertt Sssmith* *Raaaabbberrrtt Ssssmmiiitthh*
- Previous reference aside, that robot punch did look awesome. Where can I stand in line for tickets?
Pacific Rim looks like a greatest hits collection from our favorite movies, video games, anime, and television programs. At least the robot and alien and technology part of it anyway. Did I mention it looks awesome?
Pacific Rim stars Big O, Charlie Day, GLaDOS, Voltron, Megazord, Dexter’s Giant Dexo-Robo, the aliens from Ben 10, E.T., robot elbow smashes, the foghorn from all San Francisco Giants home games, and many more. Opens July 12, 2013.
I know so little about the Star Trek franchise – other than KHAAAAN because I follow dated pop culture references – so I’m going to use this blurb to gather 411mania comment reactions. I’m doing this for y’all.
cHEWB writes, “Looks good!” There is it, an approval from cHEWB. (What does “cHEWB” even mean?)
BlackLesnar writes, “What an underwhelming trailer.” He is given 2 down votes for stating his opinion. He must not have liked the excessive amount of death and people jumping off high things in the trailer.
In response to BlackLesnar, BoycottWWE replies that he/she may be a 411 Negative Nancy but he/she ended up loving it. Greg Post agrees.
Eric Dodson hopes Paramount reconsiders this version of Star Trek as canonized. The poster went on to explain his ideas, in many words that both confuses and terrifies me. Conclusion: another series in the correct timeline or Internet rage! (OK, I included the rage part.)
RobboCop (“What’s that extra B for?” “It’s a typo”) counters the previous poster’s claim with a credible argument: Paramount has brought Star Wars back from irrelevance, so be happy. Only it was in a lot more words. Harsher words.
Some Guy expressed the same feelings some people had – “Interesting counterpoint to the first trailer.” I thought it was WAY more interesting. Lots more Pew Pew Pews in this one.
There you go – the people’s reaction within 411mania, with a great amount of civility than ever before. I then promptly gave everyone a +1 vote. I like giving out +1 votes.
As a bonus, io9 has made a shot-by-shot breakdown of all the plot details hidden in this very trailer. Jump on it!
Anyway, Anderson will make her comeback on NBC’s TV drama Hannibal as Hannibal Lector’s personal therapist (Celebrity Jeopardy joke!) Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier. She’s been confirmed to appear in multiple episodes. According to the article, she was once considered to play the role of Clarice Starling in the 2001 movie version after Jodie Foster dropped out, but her X-Files contract forbade her from playing another FBI agent.
We will have to wait in the spring to see her on television once again. For now, bask in the greatness of Scully – in image and GIF form.
Image and GIF via.
So while we wait for May 2013 to show up, here’s Rainn Wilson telling the Huffington Post what the last six episodes of the show might look like:
The parts of the interview that most concern Bleeding Cool, however, would be Wilson’s comments on the final series of The Office, which is filming and airing now.
We had heard that the documentary being made in the show was going to come into play during the last series, but it wasn’t clear how. Wilson has expanded:
Part of the ending is going to be not only resolving the characters and what’s happening in their lives, but the showing of the airing of the documentary on The Office, and showing what effect that has on the characters. That’s going to happen over the course of the last six or eight episodes. The Office characters get to watch themselves in the documentary. I think they’re probably being documented as they’re watching themselves in the documentary. – Bleeding Cool
The article goes on to state that the crew from the original BBC series didn’t acknowledge the documentary until the Christmas special. Honestly I care little about how the final episodes turn out as long as Michael Scott shows up in one of them. You can’t have a proper end to a popular sitcom without its headline star – unless Steve Carell is replaced by Ted McGinley. Now we’ve talking!
*Due to the pretend hiring of Ted McGinley, The Office has abruptly been cancelled. Stay tuned to their replacement: hour-long reruns of Full House, already in progress*
The simple reason: Ricky Gervais =/= the friendly astrosphere of the Muppet universe. He’s much too snarky, too cynical, and too wrong for it. Good for when he’s pissing off the old folks at the Golden Globes, but not in a movie like The Muppets. Plus he doesn’t rank nearly as high on the universal likability scale as Jason Segel.
Conclusion: Bring back Jason Segel!
FINGERS ON THE PULSE OF AMERICAN TELEVISION YEAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!111 *throws monitor out window*
Never say never (*retrieves monitor, throws out window a second time*): ABC is once again developing a sitcom that would be based on pop superstar Justin Bieber’s life. The single-camera comedy was first set up at the network last year, but it’s been revived and is still under consideration for next season.
Bieber would executive produce the show with his manager, Scooter Braun. Also on board are executive producers Matt Wolpert and Ben Nedivi, who are writing the script. The untitled family show would center on Bieber’s background before he got famous. The comedy is about a future pop star’s awkward teenage years and his unorthodox family. – TV Guide
If you click on the article link above, you’ll see TV Guide’s photo of Bieber (I’m not wasting the kilobytes on my Photobucket account for him.) Doesn’t he look swaggy pretty? With the way his hair is meshed up, he’s a few full-blown blonde streaks away from becoming a Super Saiyan. It’ll certainly make for a better show, though that’s like saying his dog turd looks more appetizing than that dog turd. The one with the ants. Eww ants.
There’s word that NBC brass are ruminating over Jay Leno’s future — which would involve finally giving their current late-late guy comic, Jimmy Fallon, the coveted job as the host of “The Tonight Show.”
The latest rumblings about Leno come from various talent agents who admit they have quietly been contacted by NBC officials hoping to find a new late-late host who will eventually take over Fallon’s 12:35 a.m. time slot.
Leno’s current $15 million a year deal expires in 2014, and came about after he “volunteered” to take a 50% pay cut earlier this year, a move that helped NBC slash “The Tonight Show’s” $100 million budget by about 20%. – NY Daily News
I don’t know if this is a scheme to pay Jay Leno more money, and frankly, who cares. Fallon’s been growing on me these past few months, and frankly again, has settled into a nice role as a talk show host. I don’t want him to be Potential Victim #3 in Leno’s quest to replace every single last night host on his own show. I want Fallon and Letterman and Conan and Ferguson and Kimmel to continue holding hands in unison and making jokes at Leno’s expense.
Of course this is selfish me talking. Fallon might view this as his big break, his next step up in the world of late night television. Beware Jimmy. The last person who thought he was the Tonight Show’s replacement ended up doing well for himself and is quite happy with the way things turned out!
Their beef this time is with AMC’s Walking Dead series. It’s not that they hate the show – liking it is their secret shame – they don’t like it for its extreme content when the show is billed as a rated TV-14 program. According to Entertainment Weekly, PTC president said in a press release:
“Throughout its run, the AMC program The Walking Dead has featured some of the most graphic and brutally intense violence and gore imaginable.”
“In the current season alone the show has depicted hundreds of scenes of grisly murder both of living and ‘undead,’ [both] human, characters.”
“The intensely violent content has included depictions of the cleaving of human skulls with a machete, extreme gun violence including graphic depictions of blood and brains splattering after gunshot wounds, and the use of a sharpened human bone as a weapon to stab another character.” (Ed. note: And it was fantastic.)
“Clearly, this is content appropriate to an adult-only audience, but AMC has rated every single episode of The Walking Dead as suitable for a 14 year old child.” – EW
First of all, shut up PTC. Second of all, holy crap they may be on to something here (and I hate myself for it) (although I did say “may”) (triple parenthesis score!). They’re not saying change the show. They’re saying change the rating to TV-MA so the gore and violence can be validated for the adult viewer’s zombie bloodlust. That makes sense! Only then it is up to the parent to decide whether or not they want to allow their children to watch the program.
On the other side, parents should already know they’re not getting rainbows and sunshine and Ned Flanders with a zombie-heavy show like The Walking Dead. When it comes down to it, parents need to determine if their young’uns are mature enough to handle the blood and graphic violence. No TV-rated bump is going to change that.
The series is not going anywhere, no matter how much the PTC complains. Just as long as Maggie isn’t unhooking the bra strap, they’re OK otherwise. On a related note, AMC is set to air the first two seasons in black and white in February. Maybe that can help?
Now back to my original statement: shut up PTC.
Walters has an annual list called Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People, in which she compiles ten prominent figures in the field of entertainment and pop culture. She includes Hillary Clinton, Gabby Douglas, Ben Affleck, David Petraeus (voted most of the most), and Honey Boo Boo. Yup, HONEY BOO BOO. Gabby Douglas, your incredible spirited journey to become a bona fide Olympic gold medalist and a national sensation is nothing short of fascinating. First question: how does it feel to belong on the same list as someone who’s famous for being hopped up on sugar water?
While it is easy to make fun of the child known as Honey Boo Boo, it is also obvious that the seven-year old little girl has a ton of fans. According to The Hollywood Reporter on Dec. 4, Barbara Walters considers the girl one of the year’s most fascinating people.
“A lot of people will say, ‘For heaven’s sake, this is ridiculous, this is a child at 5 or 6 years old entering beauty contests’,” Walters said, explaining the choice. “But the relationship between Alana and her mother — that’s the story, the two of them. It’s very touching.”
“Honey Boo Boo is not an obnoxious little girl. She’s sweet and loving with her mother and loving with her sisters,” Walters said. And now [her sister] Anna has a new baby, and the baby has [three] thumbs — but so what? It’ll make you smile.” – Examiner
The article you see above was written by Shawn S. Lealos, who was the 411mania Movies/TV 3R’s columnist before I took over. He would have had more to say about this development but his tears of unfathomable disgust kept flooding the keyboard. Hi Shawn.
There is a universal policy that states white actresses should never rap on talk shows or in public, although there are three exemptions: 1. You are Alison Brie, 2. You are Anne Hathaway, and 3. You wear a giant frog head. In this case, Seyfried is clearly qualified in regards to Policy Exemption #3 and thus does not violate any laws. She is allowed to continue with her career appearing on talk shows as a rapping person with a frog head and look painfully adorable while at it.
However, where this ranks on your “Top 10 Fetish Boner List” is something I don’t want to know.
This is how they did it:
The hackers spelled “KJU GAS CHAMBERS” by voting candidates such as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and New Jersey governor Chris Christie to the top of Time’s poll, using a Java script created by IRC user _js5.
While the phrase indirectly references the barbaric conditions at North Korea’s prisons, “KJU GAS CHAMBERS” was just supposed to be funny and not related to the penal labor colonies, _js5 told the Daily Dot. – Daily Dot
Well look at that. It does spell “KJU GAS CHAMBERS.” What rascals.
Lindsay Lohan is denying that she has signed with a talent agency who is advertising her for small-scale appearances like weddings and Bar Mitzvahs. TMZ reports that a company from North Carolina called 123 Talent sent out mass emails advertising Lohan as available for such personal appearances and while there is no booking fee listed, it shows her credits as including the likes of The Parent Trap, I Know Who Killed Me and Life-Size.
Lindsay is reportedly pissed as she insists she hasn’t gotten so desperate as to do such low-scale appearances. She says she never signed a deal with 123 Talent or agreed to let them represent her. – 411mania
Please you guys. She is not going to show up at your 9-year-old cousin’s birthday party. No Jeremy Wilson, she will not escort to the Oscars. No Jeremy Thomas, she will not rate your list of hilarious haircuts during 1980s Hollywood with you. No Ben Piper, she will not participate in the next Fact or Fiction. And no me, she will not participate in your Liz & Dick 24-hour marathon. So stop that right now guys. She has standards.
*crashes car into cactus store*
TLC is ready to put the “fun” back into funeral. (Ed. note: I swear I wrote the same joke before reading this article.)
The network has ordered a special/backdoor pilot, Best Funeral Ever, that goes behind-the-scenes of a unconventional funeral parlor.
At the Golden Gate Funeral Home, Dallas-based funeral director John Beckwith, Jr.works with the families to create a central theme for a memorial and then throws a wild party.
Examples include a Christmas-inspired funeral complete with reindeer, elves and snow, and a singer known for his famous rib sauce jingle remembered at a BBQ-themed funeral — including live pigs, praise dancers, and a BBQ sauce fountain where loved ones dip a ceremonious rib to say goodbye. “We’re going to make these families extremely happy at the worst moments of their lives,” Beckwith says. – EW
The non-sarcasm response: What. The. [Expletive]. [Beep]. [Censored].
The Learning Channel – the channel where you learn, allegedly – is taking great lengths to secure their place as television’s most polluted network. Look at their lineup: Strange Sex, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, 19 Kids and Counting, Cake Boss, and of course Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. It’s got something for everyone. I can’t wait for their next idea – Baby Lawyer. Tagline: the only bar he can’t pass is the one holding him in his crib.
You know the worst part? I want to watch it. Yup, I want to watch Best Funeral Ever. Just for an episode or two. I want to see how far the bar has fallen and whether James Cameron can dive deep enough to raise it back up. I want to see what the show has in store for the decreased.
Disco celebration? Check.
A Boxing/Wrestling-like introduction – complete with ring, audience, and a Michael Buffer-esque announcer? Check.
Have the dead dunk a basketball? Sure. (I smell Disney movie! Zombie Got Hops)
Jump out of airplanes? They can do that. I’m sure it’ll all be lovely.
Note: Due to the Newtown shooting, Best Funeral Ever has been delayed by TLC. Originally scheduled to air on December 26, the special will now air on Sunday, January 6 at 10pm EST.
When the world is at its darkest and things happen for reasons you (or, if applicable, your kids) will never understand, stop and jump into a puddle. Sometimes the greatest of joys can be found in a small patch of water.
I was late submitting the column last week – also I initially forgot to include the poll – and the result made for a pretty lethargic tally in the vote total. Plus the contest ended in a tie. A tie! Ugh. Half of you voted for The Force Within (The Grocery Store) GIF and the other half voted for Hook ‘Em Horns (Metal) Baby GIF. I cannot allow this to stand. Here is the link to last week’s column. Those who didn’t choose should go there and vote so I can update the results for next week. Because if there is one thing I don’t want for the remainder of the year, it’s another tie. /Ninerfan
This week: illusions.
That’s a neat trick you have there with that cat cup, GIF. You pour and pour and make it seem you invented the world’s greatest profit machine – infinite liquor! Then you realize it can only go yea-high. Watch it all you want, that whiskey will never reach the brim. It can’t even reach the logo. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the world’s saddest beverage holder.
I’m going with the Rubik’s cube optical illusion. I saw the video (contained in the “via” link) and the illusion freaked my mind. Well played, paper.
Last word: If your faith in humanity has been discouraged lately, here’s a little story to lift those spirits: someone found a credit card in Downtown Sacramento last Thursday. A quick examination determined it was still active. He picked up the card and went to work. After telling a co-worker working around the same area, a Google search and a few phone calls were made. They managed to pinpoint the exact person who lost the card – a 70+ year-old woman who had accidentally dropped her card before going inside a restaurant for lunch. She actually called her husband to tell him, frantically, how she lost her credit card and couldn’t pay for the meal. He told her someone called him about a missing card just a few minutes ago. Phone numbers were exchanged and the two sides talked. The credit card was returned to her 30 minutes later.
The person who found the card in the first place? It was me. Happy holidays everyone. Give an extra hug to your loved ones.