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Tales From Dog River 06.14.08: Corner Gas – Episode Fifteen

June 14, 2008 | Posted by Randy Harrison


Tales From Dog River is back this week, with the second episode of the break-out second season for Corner Gas. This week, we’re checking out the episode entitled “Wedding Card”. Brent finds a long-lost hockey card from his childhood but ends up having that joy tempered by the fact that his parents drop the bombshell that they were never legally married. Hilarity ensues as the town tries to decide whether Brent should keep his card or give it back to Hank, whom he won it from when they were kids, and Davis tries to give Oscar and Emma the wedding of his dreams. The fun will start right after we get down to business with the links!!

Buy Season Two of Corner Gas here.

And for those of you who may be new fans of the show, new fans of the review, or might just need a refresher course on all things Dog River, be sure to check out the debut edition of Tales From Dog River to learn everything you need to know about the town and all of the quirky folk that call it home.

Episode Fifteen: Wedding Card (Originally aired on October 12, 2004)

We start the show in the Leroy house, with Brent finding a mint condition Darryl Sittler rookie card. He’s excited and Emma talks about how it pays off to clean out the basement before taking a dig at Oscar. Brent sees his baby pictures and notes how he still has the same round face and thin hair while Oscar finally realizes that Emma got a dig in on him. Brent asks why he hasn’t seen any wedding photos and after a little hemming and hawing, they drop the bombshell that they never really got married. Brent is understandably shocked and heads out of the house with his rookie card in tow. Opening credits!!

After the credit, Hank is in the station saying he can’t believe it. Brent says it’s amazing but true, while Wanda says that she’s shocked. Of course, Brent’s talking about the hockey card, but he also casually mentions Oscar and Emma never got married. Hank wants to see the card and Wanda realizes that Brent really is a bastard, though he prefers the term “love child”. Hank figures that the hockey card used to be his and that he lost it to Brent playing knuckles. Hank says it doesn’t seem fair and Wanda says “What do you expect? He’s a bastard.” That’s funny on numerous levels. Well, two, but still it’s funny.

Over at the Ruby, Oscar’s complaining about the ketchup bottle and Karen wonders why ketchup is stupid. Oscar says that it’s stupid because it’s spelled c-a-t-s-u-p on the bottle. Davis points out that it’s a viable alternative to the normal spelling but Oscar doesn’t want to hear it. Oscar asks who says “catsup” and Karen asks who argues with condiments. They get up to leave and Oscar is still sounding out the word on the bottle. He says it’s beyond him as Lacey walks by, looking concerned. Later, Wanda sits at the counter and proudly announces Brent’s status as a bastard. Lacey seems shocked that they were never married and talks about Wanda’s jumping to conclusions before telling her that she thinks that Oscar is illiterate. Wanda disagrees but Lacey thinks that his quick temper and crankiness could be a defense mechanism for his illiteracy.

At the police station, Hank comes running up to Karen on the steps and asks whether knuckles is legally binding. Hank shows her what it is and he loses to her too and Karen says that any game has rules, and that if the rules are broken, he may have an argument. She asks him to show her what happened and she raps him on the knuckles again before telling him he sucks. Brent comes into the Ruby and Lacey asks if he’s a bastard. He admits it and Davis at the other counter asks Brent why his parents never got married. He tries to console Brent and Lacey says that she has a great idea. Brent shoots down the idea of a wedding and Lacey says that her idea was actually a shirt for Brent to wear that says “I’m a bastard”. Davis runs with the wedding idea though and he starts making plans and is more than excited, which makes Lacey and Brent a little nervous.

That night at the Dog River Bar, Brent and Hank are still arguing over the card and Hank wants to play him again, claiming that it wasn’t fair the first time. Hank tries to show him what happened and Brent catches him again, claiming that Hank owes him another hockey card now. Back over at the Leroy house, Davis is trying to convince Oscar and Emma that they should have a wedding that he can help throw. Davis fibs a little, saying that Brent’s world has been shattered. Emma thinks he’ll get over it and as Davis leaves, he says that it’s a shame that they’re going to cheat themselves out of all their wedding presents. Of course, this leads to Oscar and Emma going for the idea and Davis busts into the bar to make the big announcement.

The next day at the Ruby, Lacey asks Oscar how the wedding plans are going and he says that he’s staying out of it and that Emma is the one that’s excited. He talks about how women are with weddings and we see Davis over at their house with Emma, going over ALL the wedding plans with cakes and dresses and everything. He keeps going on and on and Emma finally gets up and sneaks out while Davis has his back turned. Lacey says that it’s great and then asks Oscar if he dropped his book. It’s a kid’s book about trains and Oscar tries to tell her that, but gets caught up in giggling at the pictures when he sees one of the trains has a mustache. Lacey tries to get him to read the book and that they can talk about it later.

Hank and Brent are walking the streets of Dog River and still arguing over the hockey card, with Hank still claiming it’s his. They do a cut away to two kids playing knuckles, but Brent and Hank walk by them with Hank wondering who the kids were. You’ve got to love misdirection like that. Hank says he wants his card back. Lacey sees Oscar reading the book and she tells him to keep trying and that she has faith that he can do it. Hank follows Brent all the way to Corner Gas, continuing to argue his case about the card. Hank tries to argue semantics about the card and Brent asks him to cut him some slack because he has to throw a stag party for a sixty-three year-old man that just happens to also be his father. Wanda ends up saying the same thing as everyone else, telling Hank that he just sucks at knuckles.

Out on the street, Oscar is asking if Davis can come to the stag, but apparently he fell asleep hemming, which leads to a cut away of Davis sleeping with his head on top of a running sewing machine. Oscar decides to ask Brent to be his best man but he’s already giving away Emma and so Oscar gets angry. At the Leroy house, Emma’s having a stagette and she thanks them all for throwing it. Lacey says that it’s nice to get away from Hank whining about the hockey card and the doobell rings. Wanda goes to answer it and Emma talks about how she’s happy that things stayed low-key and didn’t cross over into vulgar. Wanda’s in the kitchen, spank-dancing with the male stripper she hired for the occasion, but when Lacey gives the signal, Wanda just pushes him out the door.

The stag isn’t quite as exciting with Hank, Brent and Oscar all stewing at opposite ends of the table. Hank and Oscar decide that they aren’t mad at each other and Paul the bartender, says that’s reason enough for a party. Oscar decides he’s just going to get drunk instead. Back to the LeRoy house and Wanda and Karen are arguing about the hockey card with Lacey sitting in the middle of it. She asks someone else what they think and the male stripper is sitting there shirtless with a bow tie on, giving his thoughts on the subject. At the bar, Oscar’s still reading his train book and him and Paul end up talking about marriage, with Paul saying that he should have gotten a pre-nup before he got married and his wife took him for everything.

The next day Oscar goes to Lacey and says that he wants help and that he feels like he’d be more comfortable if he could put things in writing. Lacey agrees, still thinking Oscar is illiterate and supports him, which leads to Oscar heading home and announcing to Emma that Lacey thinks they should have a pre-nup. Emma turns on him and Oscar slips and falls. Hank and Brent show up at the wedding rehearsal and Hank is trying to figure out why they even need one anyways. They debate the origins of the chicken dance and Hank begs for the card again, with Brent shooting it down. On the other side of the church, Wanda and Karen are still arguing about the hockey card.

Up at the front of the church, Oscar’s got a neck brace on and is claiming that Emma pushed him. She says he fell and Oscar claims that she was GOING to push him. Brent and Hank come and see how they’re doing and Brent apologizes for the best man thing, saying that Emma asked first and he likes her better anyhow. Oscar says that he’s been left in the lurch because there’s no one else to do it, ignoring Hank as he volunteers repeatedly. Lacey shows up and Oscar says he’s not talking to her because she broke his neck, while Hank blames her for the whole wedding idea in the first place. Davis shows up at the church with the minister, wowing him with the wedding plans before telling him that Dog River is a pretty friendly community. Of course, they walk into the church to see everyone yelling and arguing with each other.

When Hank and Brent show up at the Ruby for the rehearsal dinner, they decide to bury the hatchet on the hockey card for ruining Wanda and Karen’s friendship and then Brent curses Darryl Sittler. Hank comes up with a plan to get three more hockey cards, then they all can be happy, which Brent says is a simple, yet impossible plan. They look around at the Ruby with all the pink and lace and Hank again complains that it looks like a gay bar, touching back to the first episode of the series.

Later, once everyone’s shown up, Oscar makes a speech about his and Emma’s misunderstanding and he says that he takes responsibility for his mistakes and then offers to read an apology. Lacey stops him before he “embarasses himself” and explains about how she knows about Oscar. Emma says that if Lacey knows, then it’s finally over and she’s relieved. No one else has a clue about what’s going on and Oscar says that it’s so embarassing that maybe Lacey will tell everyone. She stands up and says Oscar can’t read, which gets everyone laughing, even Brent and Emma. Brent explains that he CAN read, but Lacey’s not convinced. She gets out Oscar’s apology and starts reading it and realizes that he actually can read.

Emma gets up and says that she has something to say too. She thanks Davis and wonders how he was able to put it all together with the money that her and Oscar gave him. She makes a joke about how he must have spent half of next year’s police budget on it, which Davis laughs WAY too hard at. She finally gets around to saying that her and Oscar were legally married thirty-five years ago. They eloped and for reasons better left unsaid they wanted to hide any details about the wedding. Davis thinks that Emma should tell the “unsaid reason” for it and then tinkles his glass, prompting everyone to do it until Emma relents. She talks about how it was the sixties and it was a different time and Brent worries that it was a hippie wedding. It wasn’t a hippie wedding but it WAS an Elvis wedding. Hank thinks that it’s not so bad getting married by a guy dressed like Elvis and Oscar and Emma vowed that they’d never show the wedding photos to anyone. Emma apologizes for all the confusion, calls off the wedding and everyone goes ahead and eats.

At Corner Gas, Brent thinks he has a solution to the hockey card dilemma and Hank, Wanda and Karen are there too. Hank gets the card and then Brent pays him for it, giving Hank money, Brent the card, Karen the satisfaction of knowing she was right and Wanda the twenty dollars she lent Hank a year and a half before now that he has money. Brent says to never bring up Darryl Sittler again and we cut to Sittler in his living room eating a sandwich, feeling like he’s been shunned. Wanda wants her money but Hank stiffs her. We cut to a park where Oscar and Emma have a roaring fire going, saying that it’s something they should have done a long time ago. We see them toss a picture into the fire and before it burns up we see that it was Oscar and Emma both dressed like Elvis when they got married. The closing credits roll and another episode of Corner Gas is in the books!

Dog River Speaks

Lots of short little bursts of hilarity for this show and there’s a ton of great stuff, so let’s do it!

Too much information for Brent…

Emma: Look, Brent, it…it was a different time. Your father and I were young. We could hardly keep our hands off each other.

Brent: (throws hands in air) Okay, okay, I’m instantly repressing that

Wanda delights in Brent’s difficult situation…

Wanda: Guess what? Brentsy’s a bastard!

Lacey: No! He can be inconsiderate some times…

Wanda: No, I mean a literal bastard. Oscar and Emma were never married.

Oscar asks Brent to be his best man, as only Oscar can…

Oscar: If we are going to have this wedding, I’d be proud of you to be my best man.

Brent: Aww, geez dad, I’d love to! But I can’t, I’m giving mom away.

Oscar: You’re useless! (stomps off angrily)

Brent: (shrugs) We almost had a “moment” there.

Hank and Brent know voodoo…

Hank: It’s all the fault of that damn hockey card.

Brent: Curse you, Darryl Sittler!

(Darryl Sittler is hammering a nail and smacks his thumb)

Darryl Sittler: Ow! That’s the third time I’ve done that. It’s like I’ve been cursed.

Most Valuable Gasser

For running with the idea, working with what he had and going WAY overboard while planning a wedding, Davis is this week’s Most Valuable Gasser. Just the way he threw himself into the wedding planning and did everything under the sun was absolutely classic Davis. Always gung-ho, always excited at something that interests him and even a little foolish, Davis was one of the best characters for this week and his role was great for laughs underneath the main stories of Oscar and Emma and the hockey card deal.

That does it for this week’s edition of Tales From Dog River. Thanks for stopping in to check it out and be sure to come back next Saturday to see my thoughts on Corner Gas’ sixteenth episode, “Smell of Freedom”. Davis regains his sense of smell after spending years without it and Lacey ends up losing at Scrabble to the most unlikely of opponents. Be sure to come back and check that one out next week as season two continues and remember that Dog River might be 40 kilometers from nowhere and way beyond normal, but the people of Dog River, and fans like me, sure seem to like it that way.

The 411: Yet another great episode in a season that will be full of them. Three really solid stories again, with great little twists and turns, every second providing great comedic entertainment. The writers were on the top of their game for these early episodes in this season, and this one is no exception. The picture of Oscar and Emma dressed as Elvis at their wedding gives this one an extra point alone.
411 Elite Award
Final Score:  9.0   [  Amazing ]  legend

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Randy Harrison
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