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The 411 Douchebag of the Week: Faizon Love

March 13, 2017 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz

The 411mania Douchebag of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

So, do you think the WWE will make Bayley a bad guy at some point?

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I don’t want to see it happen. The wrestling world really doesn’t have all that many true blue good guys anymore, and Bayley plays the part well. And fans seem to really dig her entrance, her “I’m a hugger” catch phrase, and they cheered loudly when she won the Raw Women’s title a few weeks back. And making her a bad guy would seem insane since she really could be the female John Cena. I mean, at the moment, outside of maybe Becky Lynch, who else has that kind of potential?

But then, with WrestleMania just around the corner and the big 4-way match for the title a real possibility (Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, and Nia Jaxx?), what better time to pull off a big “holy shit” moment and make Bayley a psycho bad guy? She’s always smiling. With the right set up, the WWE could make Bayley’s grin terrifying as opposed to an example of her constant positive attitude. She would have to turn on her current best friend Sasha Banks in the course of the match for the turn to make sense, and that would help make Banks an even bigger good guy than she is now. Right?

Although, I think I would rather see a rivalry between Bayley and Banks where they don’t switch personalities and just fight it out for the title. Charlotte and, to a lesser extent, Nia Jaxx, have the bad guy market cornered on Raw. I don’t think the show needs another super bad guy in its women’s division.

Will it happen? Will Bayley become a bad guy at WrestleMania?

And now onto this week’s Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag

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This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to actor and comedian Faizon Love, for allegedly assaulting a valet at the airport in Columbus, Ohio. The alleged assault, which happened last Tuesday, was recorded via surveillance cameras at the airport and apparently show Love arguing with a man at a desk and then walking over to the man to continue arguing up close. The video then shows Love grabbing the man and throwing him around like a rag doll. Love was eventually arrested by the police, spent a night in jail, and then went before a judge where he pled not guilty to assault and was released on $2,000 bond. If Love is found guilty of assault, according to this article, he could be fined $1,000 and sentenced to six months in jail.

There’s no sound in the video, so we don’t know what the valet, identified as a Terrence Artis Gaines II, said to Love, and we have no idea what Love said to Gaines. Love’s lawyer said that “words were exchanged” and that “maybe something could have been avoided on both parts,” but specific details were not revealed. Love did reveal via Twitter that he felt “disrespected” by whatever it was Gaines said and that people shouldn’t disrespect him.

Now, I’m just going to venture a guess and say that whatever Gaines said was pretty bad. But was it bad enough to warrant the beatdown that Love doled out?

No. Because no one has the right to assault someone. And that’s what the surveillance video seems to show. Faizon Love assaulting Gaines. If Love had just yelled at Gaines, called him “filthy” names, or just called Gaines an asshole, that would have been acceptable. But grabbing Gaines by the neck and slamming him to the ground multiple times seems a bit much.

Will Love go to prison for this? I have no idea. The video does seem pretty bad, but I’d imagine Love’s lawyer will work something out with the local authorities, unless this event turns into a big honking local deal and “someone has to pay.” But what are the odds of that happening?

Well, as I said, the video looks bad, and the explanation of the event makes the whole thing sound ridiculous. Why did Love think it was a good idea to grab Gaines and throw him around?

It looks bad and doesn’t make any sense.

What the heck is wrong with yelling at someone and then just walking away? Why isn’t “motherfucker!” enough?

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

-White House spokesperson Sean Spicer, for claiming that the new employment numbers are real now. Sure, Spicer may have just been repeating what his boss, President Trump, said when the numbers were released, but what the heck made the employment numbers “fake” before? Because they came out of the Obama administration? That assertion seems rather suspect, doesn’t it? Of course it does. I mean, wasn’t the “actual” unemployment rate over 40%? How could the rate drop that fast?

Impact Wrestling, the former TNA, for this ongoing Hardy Brothers gimmick dispute. I’ve never been a big fan of this whole “the wrestling company owns the gimmicks of its wrestlers” thing because it always ends up looking ridiculous. And if Impact Wrestling wants to start over, with a new approach to its show and whatnot, why not just let the Hardys and anyone else let go/who quit be a part of Impact’s past and move on? That would seem to make the most sense. And so what if the WWE tries to use the current Hardy gimmick if and when the Hardys show up in WWE? Wouldn’t that possibility make Impact seem bigger than it actually is?

Just let the Hardys go, man. They’re gone. Move on to the future.

-Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, Republican of Wisconsin, for his recent Power Point presentation. This kind of shit just has to stop. No, I’m not talking about the details of Ryan’s presentation (that kind of stuff is just what Ryan talks about all of the time). What I’m actually talking about is the whole “politician talking to people without a suit jacket” thing and the “rolled up shirt sleeves” thing. It has to stop, man. It doesn’t make you look more “of the people” or “more relatable.” And just about all politicians do it at one point or another. It’s ridiculous. Stop it, and just wear your goddamn suit jacket.

-Douchebag Hall of Famer and Fox News personality Tucker Carlson, for his recent interview with Jorge Ramos. Please, go to the link, watch the video, and then ask yourself if Carlson actually believes his own bullshit. Ramos is “whiter than Carlson” because Ramos has blue eyes? What?

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