Movies & TV / Columns

The Man Movie Encyclopedia: Robocop 2

May 15, 2017 | Posted by Caliber Winfield

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Greetings, all.

Not much to say here in the preamble, this week we’re back with a movie review. Sometimes your boy just has to step away from the norm and dabble in the elsewhere. Alright, enough talk., let’s hang with Robo, baby….
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We open up with a commercial for MagnaVolt, a car security system that simply kills whoever tries to steal it. Now, I know a bunch of dandies would probably cry foul over something like this, but wouldn’t that be awesome? I’m willing to bet that car theft would be down a smidge if someone were unsure if their life was worth the 89 Honda Civic. Afterwards we jump into some news, where we learn of the the newest, most addictive drug on the street, Nuke, and that the man responsible for it, Cain, is pretty much a bad hombre. Also, cops are on strike. Except one. A certain…Robootic, cop.
A few no goodknicks are robbing a weapons store made for the police & military, because when you’re looking to set up shop and sell things like fully automatic weapons and rocket launchers, you want to set it up in the worst city on Earth. Especially when you learn cops are on strike. Well, Robo shows up to cockblock their shopping spree, and extracts info from one of them about the whereabouts of where Nuke is being made. Once there, he shuts down that shop pretty promptly.
We then learn that Robo is kinda stalking his family. Like parking out side their house and just chilling. The higher ups reprimanded him for this, and honestly, I would have put a scene in there where Robo denies it.

Police Chief: You need to leave that poor woman alone, Murphy!
Robocop: Mmm…what woman?
PC: You know what I’m talking about! Your ex-wife! She says you’ve been sitting outside their house, watching them!
Robocop: Nah. That wasn’t me. I think it was Steve. Had to be. Dude is a total perv.
PC: You mean to tell us that when your ex-wife described a police car outside her house with a giant cyborg sitting in the front seat, she actually meant to describe a 5’2 Asian?
Robocop: Correct-A-Mundo.
PC: You keep this up and we’ll take you offline.
Robocop: No, you keep THIS up and I’ll give YOUR wife my data spike. If you know what I mean. I’d be all “Your move, creep” and she’d be digging it.

We hang with the cats from OCP, and we see that they’re trying to do themselves up a Robocop 2. Yet, things aren’t going well.

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So, the old man is talked into searching outside the box for a candidate, not just a cop. Meanwhile, Robo finds out where Cain is hiding via a dirty cop who’s working with the Nuke leader, but they’re ready for him. When he shows up, they end up literally tearing him apart. Even though he can’t feel pain, I gotta say, it’s unsettling.

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After they dump the parts at the door step of the police station, they deal with Duffy, the dirty cop who ran his mouth. Again, unsettling. But effective.
Well, OCP pieces Robo back together, but they make him an uber-sissy. He speaks politely, doesn’t use violence as a way of persuasion. It’s bullshit. Honestly, this movie projected the SJW movement.
He isn’t having this bullshit for long, and risks his life in order to not be a member of antifa. Atta boy, Robo.
He rallies the troops, and they take on Cain at his Nuke headquarters. After a short showdown with Robo, Cain ends up hospitalized, where the crazy chick working for OCP feels his brain is the best option for Robo2, and promptly takes him off life support. To which he seems a bit…miffed? Yeah, a bit miffed about. Once he’s back in action, he’s a pretty kick ass cyborg, who’s unfortunately addicted to Nuke, which is how they control him.
The remaining members of the old Nuke gang hold a meeting with the current Mayor of Detroit, and make him a deal. $50 million dollars, and he’ll let them create and distribute Nuke. The Mayor needs the money, otherwise they’ll lose Detroit, and it’ll become a city that’s run, bought and paid for by OCP. Before any thing can officially be set in stone, Cain shows up and slaughters everyone, except the Mayor.

RB2Cain

Later, OCP shows off their plans for the New Detroit, and it’s protector, Robocop 2, which is of course Cain. However, when he sees a tube of Nuke that the Old Man is holding, he flips his shit and starts mowing down motherfuckers until Robo comes up to kick him in his robodick. They have a pretty awesome brawl that sees them exchange tons of ammo, falling off the roof of a building before crashing through to the basement, and eventually, Robo reaches into Cain’s body and rips out his brain. Fucking awesome.

MAN MOVIE ENCYCLOPEDIA TALLY:
1-Liners: 1
Guys Beat-Up: 0
Guys Killed: 30
Swear Words: 48
Boobies: 0
Explosions: 10
Chases: 1
Broken Bones: 0
Guy Get Girl: 0
Guy Smoke: No.
Hotel Shoot-Out/Fight: Nope

MAN-FACTS:
Here’s a portion of some of Robo’s lameduck directives;

DIRECTIVE 233: Restrain hostile feelings.
DIRECTIVE 234: Promote positive attitude.
DIRECTIVE 235: Suppress aggressiveness.
DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values.
DIRECTIVE 238: Avoid destructive behavior.
DIRECTIVE 239: Be accessible.
DIRECTIVE 240: Participate in group activities.
DIRECTIVE 241: Avoid interpersonal conflicts.
DIRECTIVE 242: Avoid premature value judgments.
DIRECTIVE 243: Pool opinions before expressing yourself.
DIRECTIVE 244: Discourage feelings of negativity and hostility.
DIRECTIVE 245: If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t talk.
DIRECTIVE 246: Don’t rush traffic lights.
DIRECTIVE 247: Don’t run through puddles and splash pedestrians or other cars.
DIRECTIVE 248: Don’t say that you are always prompt when you are not.
DIRECTIVE 249: Don’t be oversensitive to the hostility and negativity of others.
DIRECTIVE 250: Don’t walk across a ballroom floor swinging your arms.
DIRECTIVE 254: Encourage awareness.
DIRECTIVE 256: Discourage harsh language.
DIRECTIVE 258: Commend sincere efforts.
DIRECTIVE 261: Talk things out.
DIRECTIVE 262: Avoid Orion meetings.
DIRECTIVE 266: Smile.
DIRECTIVE 267: Keep an open mind.
DIRECTIVE 268: Encourage participation.
DIRECTIVE 273: Avoid stereotyping.
DIRECTIVE 278: Seek non-violent solutions.

This was the final film directed by Irvin Kershner.
Alan Moore was offered the job to write, but he declined.

The scientist who’s making Nuke for Cain is in fact screenwriter, Frank Miller.

BOX OFFICE BUSINESS:
Released by Orion on June 22nd, 1990, to 1,768 theaters. Robocop 2 was created on a budget of $35 million dollars, and opened up at #2, with a theater average of $8,000, and a first weekend total of $14,145,411 . After it’s run, Robocp 2 ended up with a domestic total of $45,681,173 .

C’MON BENNETT, LET’S PARTY!:
Robocop is one of the greatest movies of all time, so creating a follow up was going to be an ardeous task. What they ended up with is a hell of a sequel, I think. They kept all the things that worked, while expanding the character of Robo, and upped the end game by having him go toe-to-toe with another cyborg, which is exactly what this film needed to do. It may be a bit more polished, and lacking some of that dark-sleeze of the first, but Robocop 2 is a very worth-while sequel, and absolutely should not be slept on. Although I will say that the Robocop theme from the original is sorely missing.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
Twitter: @CaliberWinfield
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