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Hammer of Doom News Report 11.12.12: Banned from the House of Mouse Edition

November 12, 2012 | Posted by Robert Cooper


Welcome Metal Faithful to the only place where the cake is not a lie, the Hammer of Doom! I, as every week since Day 1, am the metal missionary, Robert Cooper. This week I saw the new James Bond (in IMAX…aye dios mio), and it was amazing, go see it, NOW!!!! I also watched my Carolina Panthers play like ass, and listened to plenty of metal in between college classes. PLUS!, today was NATIONAL METAL DAY!!!!

As for the column this week, we have news and 1 new download, that’s not new, but I just found it. I list any upcoming albums, respond to YOUR reader comments, AND give the GLOBAL METAL pick of the week, this week coming from Suriname!

While you’re busy googling that country, come with me to hear…


Testament Honored In ‘Best Music Video’ Category At ‘American Indian Film Festival’

Good for them!, I dig the music video, and the fact that a group thinks it’s worthy of an award is cool!

Sebastian Bach Recording ‘Top-Secret Project That Will Revolutionize Popular Music’

Oh boy!, I wonder if it’ll be a duet with Bang Tango?….(they have an album coming out sooner or later, as well)

At the Gates Guitarist Says He Has No Interest In Recording New Studio Album

That’s sad, I love his stuff with both At the Gates and the Haunted.

Arsis Announces New Guitarist

Their old guitarist left for Arch Enemy, understandably, so they have a new guy, good for them!

Study: Heavy Metal Induces Shaking In Shelter Dogs

This doesn’t surprise me, the music if loud, and dogs don’t like loud, so there you go.

Original Alice Cooper Guitarist Steve Hunter Hospitalized With Irregular Heartbeat

I hope he gets better, because irregular heartbeating is not a thing to mess with.

Journey Singer Diagnosed With Severe Laryngeal And Esophageal Inflammation

The band will be missing a few dates, that sucks, but as long as he gets well, all is good.

20 Injured Outside Linkin Park Concert In South Africa

This isn’t really metal, but this also sucks major ass, hope everyone was at least okay.

Marduk’s ‘Souls For Belial’ Single Certified Gold In Sweden

Not often that you see a black metal single going gold, I’m proud of them.

Lizzy Borden To Embark On ’30 Years Of American Metal’ Tour

They are one of the better true/power metal bands from their era, and the fact that they’re going on a tour like this excites me..hopefully they’ll hit the south up!

Queens of the Stone Age Taps Dave Grohl For New Album

He’ll be playing the drums for them, and I think this is pretty cool news, for what he does, he’s a good drummer, and QOTSA are a good band, looking forwards to hearing it.

Geoff Tate says He Only Had About 10-15 Conversations With Michael Wilton In 30 Years

Anyone else smell bullshit?

Now clean your nose of the shit and read with me from….


No Machines in the House of Mouse?

So apparently someone at Disney does not like Machine Head….here’s the story….

Machine Head will not appear at the December 4 stop of the Dethklok tour at the House of Blues in Orlando, Florida, a property owned by The Walt Disney Company. Dethklok, All That Remains and The Black Dahlia Murder will still play the show as scheduled.

While no one is willing to provide evidence that would prove unfavorable to Disney, sources close to events have suggested that MACHINE HEAD remains on a “banned list”, with the corporate powers at Disney refusing to allow the group to perform at the venue.

In 2007, The Walt Disney Company banned Machine Head from the House Of Blues venues in both Orlando and Anaheim, California, citing “violent imagery,” “inflammatory lyrics” and “undesirable fans” as the reason.

You’ll have to excuse me while I laugh my ass off…lolololololol..okay…done! That is insane, I know that they aren’t exactly Barney and Friends, but still, you’ve got to be kidding me. I can see that citing the information about 2007 that this is a continued dislike of Machine Head, but if you look at 2 of the 3 bands that are playing the same show that Machine Head got the boot from. Dethklok, who are a cartoon band with outlandish and occasionally gory lyrics and images. Then you have the The Black Dahlia MURDER, you numbnuts, MURDER is in the name. Disney are a bunch of dumbasses, I know that they try their best to stay wholesome, but it isn’t going to happen, EVER! They’re still going to be that creepy uncle at the party that can hide it really well.

More of Men Arguing Like Teenage Girls

So just like it seems every few weeks here, we have some people bitching on social media (more on that, too). This week we have Travis Ryan of Cattle Decapitation VS. Chris Barnes of Six Feet Under. Ryan is alledging that Barnes sucker punched him after they started getting into an argument backstage about respect. I wont take anyone’s word for anything, because this is all turning into a he said affair, and those are just plain silly.

But the aftermath of it all is that Cattle Decapitation are now OFF of the tour with Six Feet Under. He cited the fact that Chris Barnes wants all the attention for himself, and blah blah, and how he treats the undercard bands like shit. I have no information to cross reference that with, so we’ll just have to take his words at face value.

Dammit, Ted Nugent, I still can’t hate you!!!

So the US presidental election was last week, and I voted Rusty Schackleford for Board of Education. Obama won, and Ted Nugent was not happy.

I can understand being a bit cross with the results, but seriously, the dude was going into Rush Limbaugh/Ed Helms level of annoying. It is quite funny considering the Nuge’s beliefs and his old lifestyle of marrying 17 year olds (Kip Winger wishes he could have done that) and what not. The dude is ol’ Amurica though, so he does have the rights to say whatever the hell he wants, I just want him and Dave Mustaine to keep it to themselves over tea.

If I may quote a friend of mind on facebook/real life, “Congrats Mr. President. I may not have voted for you, but you have my respect and support for the next four years!”. Why can’t Ted at least say SOMETHING like that, and THEN continue his Nugentness? But oh well, I still can’t hate the guy, he’s so nuts, I have to find it charming.

Proof that Heavy Metal will never Die! VOL.11!!!

So over the past week in metal, we have gotten ‘The Scarred People’ by Tiamat landing at No.11 on the Swedish album charts. Even though I really have no use for them,Cradle of Filth’s ‘The Manticore And Other Horrors’ got all the way to No.96 on the Billboard 200.
Also reaching that list was ‘Afterglow” by Black Country Communion at No.48. I have to say that I listened to this album, and absolutely adored it, I’m a huge fan of Joe Bonamassa. Plus the rest of the band is on their game. the album is definitely Top 25 material. Finally, Kamelot’s ‘Silverthorn’ got all the way up to No.79 on the Billboard charts. That blew me away, I had no clue that Kamelot were that big here in the states. Congrats to all the band, and here’s to Black Country Communion staying together!!!


First, we have an AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING compilation from Relapse Records, featuring a new Death remaster at the end.

Relapse Sampler 2012 by Relapse Records

The Deftones have their entire new album ‘Koi No Yokan’ streaming HERE!

Finally, Soundgarden are back and their entire new album is available for streaming on iTunes, go find it!


But don’t go too fast with that finding, first visit with me in….


‘Koi No Yokan’ by California alt-metal band Deftones

‘From the Vaults Vol.1’ by Georgia psychedelic Sludge metal band Kylesa (I’ll be reviewing this)

‘Machine Fucking Head Live’ by California groove/thrash metal band Machine Head, obviously a live album.

This of course brings us to the ALBUM OF THE WEEK. This week coming from the grave are the early 90s mainstays Soundgarden, and their new album ‘King Animal’.

When you’re finished with that, shut your computer the hell up so I can hear the voices….

First comment this week was short and from Andrew Crow,stating his dislike for Dave Mustaine, which I can totally see why he would say “Fuck Dave Mustaine“.

The guy does like to run his mouth, kind of like this week’s mouth runner, Ted Nugent.

Next short comment was from armchair theologian

Thanks for the Graveyard video…those guys are awesome.

You’re welcome, man, the new album is awesome, love the band!

Final short comment was from Uhmmm

New Pig Destroyer isn’t really grabbing me, though I admit that I think they peaked with “Prowler in the Yard” and it’s all downhill from there.

It didn’t totally grab me until the last half of the album, but I can see why you it wouldn’t grab you if you find ‘Prowler’ to be the best, I’ve herad bits of that album, and it was awesome!

The first long, discussion starting comment came from the Hammer’s always present commenter, Michael L.

The very brief discussion of Mustaine brings to mind an interesting question: who do you think are the biggest assholes in the metal business? Of course, this doesn’t take into account their musical talent, but rather their personalities. IMO, it comes down to three, with one honorable mention.

HM: Jon Schafer–By all accounts he is difficult to work with at best, and he has an over-developed sense of patriotism, which is never healthy in a human being. Iced Earth could have ruled the metal planet in the 2000’s if he could have worked with the same lineup for more than album.

3. Gene Simmons: And he’d be the first person to tell you so, even titling a solo album “Asshole.” Simmons makes no bones about the fact that he’s in it for the money, and he cane come across as a real dick in doing so.

2. Dave Mustaine: Another guy who is hard to work with. You don’t want to get on Mustaine’s bad side in a live show because he’ll tear you to shreds.

1. Axl Rose: The obvious top answer, Rose is someone who never grew up. But unlike other assholes on this list and elsewhere, he likes to punish his own fans for his deficiencies. My opinion of him was cemented in 1992 when he ended a GNR set six songs in–after Metallica already had to end their set due to James’ pyro accident, which caused a riot at the show in Montreal. Everything since has only been icing on the cake, from essentially blackmailing Slash and the rest to turn over the GNR name to him, to continuing to show up hours late for his concerns, to refusing to be inducted in the RNR Hall of Fame because he couldn’t share the stage with his former bandmates for five minutes. The guy is just a prick plain and simple, and thus the # asshole in the hard rock/metal business.

So who would you have as the top assholes in the business?

This was answered later by AndrewCrow

Mmmm…the return of a metal column to 411…AND THIS ONE TALKS ABOUT BRUTAL STUFF AND NOT JUST POP-METAL LIKE SLIPKNOT…schweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet…

Going off Michael L’s thing, I’d like to say we should take Gene Simmons out of there since KISS wasn’t a metal band, ditto Axl Rose (long hair and a guitar doesn’t make you a metal musician), and…

3. Varg Vikernes Not because he burned churches or killed Oystein “Euronymous” Aarseth, but because he’s just a racist caricature of a little shit. I’m fully convinced that Burzum fans are just saying they are for credibility purposes.

2. Jon Schafer Sorry, Jon boy, Iced Earth isn’t the pinnacle of perfection, and you’re not even the best guitarist of your generation. Oh, what’s that? MORE triplets thrown in to break up what would normally pass for weak Helloween riffs? Okay, Jon, talk about the Civil War again…

1. Dave Mustaine He’s an amazing guitarist, a damn good songwriter, and important to the development of metal as a whole, but Christ, Davey, SHUT UP. Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie hit the nail on the head: you were better on drugs, and stop support Rick Santorum and the GOP since they’ve wanted to outlaw heavy metal since day one.

(Then Krunchy mentioned the lack of Yngwie on AndrewCrow‘s list, AndrewCrow later replied that he didn’t want to unleash the fury….well player, sir)

First off, yes AndrewCrow, this is the Hammer of Doom, and I try my best to keep this the least core-y and pop-y degree that I can. Unless I like the band, then I’ll allow it.

Starting with Jon Schafer, I really respect the dude, but I agree with Michael L that his sense of overt patriotism is kind of annoying, but it’s overlookable. I had a friend meet him a few weeks ago, and he said that he was really cool, granted, all they did was talk Ron Paul, but that’s all I have to go off of. Iced Earth is a band that I have a soft spot for, but not even I can overlook the botch that was the Framing Armaggedon duo of albums, they were not very good at all. The rest of the albums in the decade I like, Barlow and Ripper are two of my favorite singers. AndrewCrow also has a good point about the triplets, sweet Jesus, Mary, and Bill Cosby, Jon Schafer, calm down with the triplets. I did like the Gettysburg trilogy of songs, best songs to rock out to at the battlefield (I went there, and did the reenactment, it was nuts).

Gene is a dick, but at least he’s honest about it.

Axl is someone that I think has talent, but not nearly enough to make up for the fact that he’s a complete and total tool, as well as incredibly unprofessional. I had a friend in high school go see GnR in Charlotte, and Axl didn’t come on till 1 am, and my friend didn’t get home till 5 am, and his mom wouldn’t let him go to bed because of it being a school morning. So fuck that guy.

Varg is someone who I think has some talent, I actually am a casual Burzum fan (bet no one has ever read that sentence before). I like what I’ve heard, but haven’t really searched them out. The dude is a piece of shit, no doubt. If he were in a country that had harsher penalties for murder, his ass would be making shitty NES soundtracks for the rest of his life.

Dave….I am a huge fanboy of Megadeth, and I really enjoyed Dave’s autobiography. That all being said, for some reason, the dude has gotten farther and farther into the duldrums of political radicalism, I hate radicals, by the way, too far left or right, and you annoy me, like congress. He and Nugent need to go have tea, though.

As for my Top 3

3. Varg Vikerness: The guy is a rascist, a murderer, and if I’m not mistaken, he is also a Nazi and a homophobe. ‘Nuff said.

2. Axl Rose (if he counts as metal, I don’t really count him as metal) , speaks for itself.

1. MegaDave: I idolized him, musically. But everything else is just a guy that has gotten more arrogant over the years, and he shits on some of his fans, like the ones that paid for his autograph…*grumble*.

Finally, the South American leg of our Global Metal tour if coming to an end soon, but for this weeks’ GLOBAL METAL PICK OF THE WEEK, we get the only metal band that I can find on metal-archives from Suriname, I didn’t think I’d find anything, much less some good death/thrash. The song is called “Eventus Belli” and is by Cross My Blessed Hands, it is from the album of the same name of the song, ENJOY!

Alright,so if you have any opinions on the column, some genre or country that you want me to feature in the global metal column, or if you just want to talk metal you can e-mail me at [email protected], tweet me at @themetalcoop or sign up below and join the discussions with some comments!

In the name of the Holy Metal Saint, Chuck Schuldiner, I say unto you, KEEP THE METAL FAITH ALIVE m/


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Robert Cooper
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