The Low End Theory Hip-Hop News Report 12.21.12 The End of the World Edition
It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine! If you’re reading this, we’ve made it…or you should really consider better things to do with the last minutes of your life. In all seriousness, I hope those that truly believe the world will end can take the dose of reality that is to come. And for those of us that think we’ll continue on with debts and stupidity on Facebook, Hallelu!! At any rate, there’s some interesting things happening in Hip Hop, but I don’t want to talk about them. Instead, let’s focus on stupidity and how much fun it brings.
Remember, next week will be our end of the year column, and it’s going to be great! Let’s get to the news!
Video of the Week
Mac Lethal – Freestyle
Our good friend Mac Lethal does it again!
Return of the Miss…
- Fat Joe has pleaded guilty to tax evasion. He was released on a $250,000 bond. Home boy needs to Lean Back.
- Ab-Soul hopes to be one of the best authors of all time. He’s got about as good a chance of being that as I do in having my first quick shot be funny…
- Future has confirmed collabs with Rihanna, Kanye and Drake, proving that times are a changing, and the Future looks…bleak.
- Odd Future have yet to grow up. I mean, in case you were wondering when it was going to happen.
STARZ TO PUT OUT TURF
According to some reports, Starz will be creating a series that is based on the rise of Hip Hop. Although the idea is still in its infancy, there are plans to release it and it’s already in the development stage. It’s said to be a drama and will chronicle the violence of gang life in the Bronx during the 70’s to the rise of hip hop as a whole.
Long time readers will know that the history of hip hop is both vital and important to me as well as the column. I’ve talked many times about where hip hop has come from, and how it got to where it is today. I’ve written plenty of essays about the topic and have read up quite a bit about it as well. It’s probably because of this that I was immediately excited about the prospect of a television show telling this story. I’ve thought about it for a bit now, and I think that this is a very risky idea. On one hand, you have the very true to life story of hip hop’s incarnation, and on the other hand you have the word “drama.” If they are going to take the premise of hip hop and create a tv show that is more focused on drama, then I’m not sure I’ll be all that interested. The news is fresh both in the world and in this column, so I haven’t fully let it register yet, but either way I am pretty enticed to see what comes of it. The Low End Theory will be keeping tabs on it, for sure.
Your Turn: Will you be checking in on Turf when it comes out?
WHEN RAIN HURTS
Strippers are a funny creature. According to reports, Trey Songz had an album release part on August 21st of this year. It was at a strip club (of course, right?) and Trey and his crew stayed till around 4 in the morning. Apparently, an altercation lead to Trey Songz tossing a “sum of United States Currency” that “caused substantial pain” to a stripper’s left eye. One month later, and Trey Songz is arrested for misdemeanor assault.
Now, even after reading that, it’s obvious that there are some details missing. Was it a box of quarters? A wad of money? A brick of hundreds? And moreover, would it truly matter to someone what it was? This is money and a stripper we’re talking about. Past incidents with Trey Songz have shown that he may not be the coolest cucumber, but I can’t see this incident being taken too seriously. And this is not, by any means, a defense for Trey Songz. I can imagine the female saying something rude and he pulling the “nigga, I got stacks” card, tossing some sort of heavy amount of money towards her face. If it were a stack, it’s gonna hurt. I don’t care, personally, but do you really got that kinda money where you can just toss it? If I were rich, I’d hang on to every dollar I had. That’s that kinda attitude that gets you in trouble with Murica, yo.
Would it be jumping the gun if I said this was another situation when someone saw a light bulb in the possibility for more money? It’s unfortunate, sometimes. See more about this situation below.
GUNPLAY BLAMES THE GOVERNMENT
Typically, when large-scale events in the world happen, I keep very quiet. I don’t make long ranting posts on Facebook, I don’t bring it into the column, I don’t make YouTube videos on who’s to blame and what we can do. There are far too many people in this world who enjoy reading their own text and hearing their own voice. It may shock you, but I have never been that type. We see it everywhere, particularly with social media, and although it’s nice to see people interested in world tragedies, and want to do something about it, some people simply talk a bit too much. Want an example?
For those that don’t know him, he’s not done much for you to know about and interestingly enough has a mixtape dropping just as this “controversial statement” has been made. Just like his tat of a Swastika, it appears he’s being outlandish for the sake of being outlandish. Gunplay has been in the news moreso for getting his ass handed to him by G-Unit and an attempted robbery than any particular music that he has released. While I have always appreciate the freedom of speech, there are some people that need a friend that can tell them, “don’t tweet that, dawg.” According to Gunplay, we are all sheep and the government caused the death of elementary children to “take our guns away.” Of course, these tweets were deleted shortly thereafter, but seriously….what the hell?
Listen, readers, if you truly believe that our own government is out to warp our mind and alter everything we believe in, then so be it. That’s on you. But I have learned that these are the same people that watch 9 minute YouTube vids dissecting music videos for signs of the Illuminati. The name of the man who was behind this tragedy has been released already, and there’s plenty of evidence that points towards mental issues, gun control, lack of protection, and a variety of other “reasons,” but one that has always baffled me towards any one situation is that it was the government behind it.
Gunplay, sir, with a name such as the one you have, and the past that you have conducted throughout your years, your opinion is invalid. Please, take the time that you have due to your house arrest and write your thoughts down on paper. Stay away from the keyboard.
The lovely ladies of The Low End Theory have taken a backseat for the past few weeks. Truly, since the crowning of the lovely Angel as our Hip Hop Hottie of the year, we haven’t had a lady grace our column outside of a few choice photos. I don’t want you to worry, however, as come the new year we’ll have a few new ladies added to the fold as well as a visit or two from the Hip Hop Hottie of the year. Anyways, one of our lovely ladies is in a competition, and she wouldn’t mind a bit of our help. She’s one of my favorites, and I’m sure one of yours as well…AMIA MILEY!
Our lovely Hip Hop Hottie, Amia Miley, is currently in the running for Orgasm.com’s Orgasm Girl, and if you haven’t seen Amia in action, then I encourage you to do so (at home, not at work) to see just why she deserves the title. Vote for her HERE!
Want more Amia?
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– By Joseph Paige Jr.
In today’s economy we’re all looking for a way to earn a little cash. I know I am with these bills pilling up. So how do you think I felt when I learned that a stripper from Queens, N.Y. was filling a lawsuit against R&B singer Trey Songz for “making it rain” on her? Yes, I repeat he made it rain on the trick and instead of dancing for those bandz she chose to file a police report. Now I know what you’re thinking. What’s illegal about throwing money in the air for it to only fall back down on naked women? Why there’s nothing illegal about the action, but when you throw dollars with such velocity that you result in scratching the cornea of a stripper then you may have some legal issues coming your way.
I myself don’t know much about the qualifications of a stripper or what is required on their resume, but I’ll go ahead and assume that a stripper is in need of her vision. I mean those clubs do get quite dark and following the reflection of glitter on your co-workers titties can’t hardly be enough to guide you through the treacherous crowd of thirsty dudes waiting for the right opportune moment to cop a feel. The most interesting part of this story I find is that the event took place back in August as a celebration for the release of Trey Songz latest lackluster album. However, Trey was not arrested for this incident until just a month ago. Which leaves me to believe that the stripper was in fact not injured the night of the album release party, but after listening to the new tracks for a few weeks she was enlighten to the fact that Trey Songz has been creating the same formula of songs for the past 3 albums and still giving us all a poor man’s interpretation of R. Kelly. So she the stripper is taking it into her own two hands (the same hands were the money should have politely handed to her) wants to finally be the one to put an end to Trey’s trickery.
I’ve been a Glasses Malone fan for some years now, before he got signed to Cash Money Records alongside Lil Wayne. I was probably one of the dozens of people who ordered his mixtape Watts Towers online back in 2005ish, it came autographed and doesn’t even show up on his Wikipedia page as part of his mixtape discography. That being said, G. Malone has come a long way from dealing crack in Watts to having radio singles with Birdman & Akon. A couple years ago I went to a Dogg Pound show at Coheba’s in downtown Long Beach and had my first encounter with G. Malone, back in my fan days. That might come off sounding like a bad thing, “back in my fan days”…
To set the record straight, I am still a HUGE fan of his today. I have his personal cell number, have had the pleasure of meeting him as a person, and have plans to work with him in the near future already set in place. His birthday was on December 12th, the same day he released the Glasshouse mixtape. This isn’t the typically dark-crack-dealing Glasses tape you would have grown accustom to hearing, which could turn out to help move his career forward from its stale state that it’s in.
Glasshouse is a fun tape to party to, or as they say now, FUNCTION to. Just for shits & giggles I’d compare the atmosphere of this mixtape to Ty$ x Joe Moses last mixtape, so if you listened and liked that one, you should have a good time listening to G’s. I’d like to give a shout out to the producer King Dave who did half of the Glasshouse mixtape. Be on the lookout for a King Dave x Jay Nari producing project coming out soon, and if you’re wondering what my connection is with these super producers is, we all went to high school together, imagine that.
[Editor's Note: MHS 4 Lyfe! Haha]
Download the #Glasshouse mixtape here:
That’s it for this week, everyone! Join us next week for our End of the Year column!!!!
The Low End Theory Team
“Driven” – By Tony Acero
“Through the Looking Glass” – By Tony Acero
|Crystal “Hope” De La Piedra
|Joseph Paige Jr.
|That SOB Kenji