100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA A New Start

Philadelphia, PA – 1.25.2015

Now that all titles are non-vacant, it’s time to bring this back:

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Icarus
Campeones de Parejas: The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Dasher Hatfield, and UltraMantis Black.

Sidney Bakabella says the 2300 Arena is supposed to be a famous building, but it’s a dump compared to the Sportatorium and the Mid-South Coliseum. He says tonight is the easiest pay window the Wrecking Crew has ever made and tells the cameraman to scram.

The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & ‘Mr.Touchdown’ Mark Angelosetti), Princess Kimberlee, Shynron & Jervis Cottonbelly vs. The Wrecking Crew (The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive, & Flex Rumblecrunch), Jaka & Oleg the Usurper)

As a wink to “deflate gate”, Hatfield puts air in Angelosetti’s football before the match. The Throwbacks jump McMassive and Smashmaster and send them out to the floor. Cottonbelly wants a handshake from Oleg and actually receives it! Oleg then boots Cottonbelly in the face. He tries an airplane spin, but Cottonbelly snaps off a couple of armdrags before dropping him with a side Russian legsweep. Bakabella barks at Oleg and tells him to get out of the ring. Kimberlee avoids a charge from Jaka and attempts a couple pin attempts. Jaka kicks out and strikes her in the throat and rakes her back. He puts on a chinlock and digs his fingers into her face. He throws some strikes to the chest. Kimberlee ducks a roundhouse kick and delivers one of her own. Jaka tries a double choke bomb but gets sent outside with a Frankensteiner. Smashmaster comes in. Kimberlee exits, triggering the Throwbacks to enter and give him stereo chops. Smashmaster avoids a double whip and chops the Throwbacks himself. The Throwbacks assist Shynron with a headscissors on Smashmaster. Shynon cartwheel splashes onto all of the Devastation Corporation. Hatfield armdrags Jaka. He sunset flips Jaka. Smashmaster pulls Hatfield out by his legs. Angelosetti fights off all of the Wrecking Crew. Rumblecrunch begins to pummel Angelosetti in the corner. McMassive gives him a running boot to the face. Smashmaster clears the apron. McMassive pummels Angelosetti, but then pitches to the floor. He drags in Kimberlee by her hair. She ducks a slap and gives one of her own to McMassive. She tries a sleeper. McMassive casually tags in Rumblecrunch who pulls her off of his back into a belly-to-back suplex. Rumblecrunch puts on a sleeper. Cottonbelly jumps in to stomp on Rumblecrunch and assist Kimberlee back to the apron. Rumblecrunch mows him down with a clothesline and throws him out. Shynron comes in with a high crossbody. Rumblecrunch rolls through and gives Shynron a backbreaker. Oleg and Jaka further wear Shynron down. Shynron is able to take them down with a tandem back handspring Ace Crusher. Hatfield tags in. He throws some forearms at Smashmaster. He goes for a wind up strike but gets intercepted by Oleg and Jaka. Smashmaster accidentally splashes his partners. Hatfield powerslams McMassive onto everybody but Rumblecrunch. He strikes Rumblecrunch onto the pile, then hits the entire Wrecking Crew with a baseball slide dropkick. His partners follow suit. Shynron finishes up with a coast-to-coast splash! Kimberlee covers McMassive for a two count. Shynron heads up top. Jaka knocks him to the floor. Angelosetti drives his shoulder into Oleg’s mid-section multiple times in the corner. Oleg moves, causing Angelosetti to hit the middle turnbuckle face first. Oleg hits him with Off With His Head. Hatfield gives Oleg a Jackhammer. He tries one on McMassive, but McMassive counters with Lariat Tubman. Kimberlee clotheslines McMassive to the floor! She fearlessly unloads strikes on Smashmaster to no effect. He pounds her on the mat before giving her a closed fist punch. Kimberlee unleashes a flurry of chops. He spikes Smashmaster with a tilt-a-whirl DDT! McMassive meets her on the top rope and brings her down with a belly-to-belly superplex! That gets him the pin at 15:38. The action was inconsistent but there were some fun moments. The really shoddy camerawork made it hard to follow, so it’s hard to give a fair assessment, but I can say it ended with the most impressive move of the bout. **½

Ophidian vs. Nøkken

The winner of this match will have 3 points, thus earning a future shot at the Grand Championship. Amasis is in Ophidian’s corner. Nøkken pummels Ophidian in the corner. Ophidian jumps on his back and goes for the Death Grip. Nøkken backs him to the corner. Ophidian throws some punches. He hops over Nøkken, slips through his legs and attempts a drop toe hold. Nøkken shrugs it off, as well as a spin kick. Ophidian sends Nøkken out with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Ophidian follows with two suicide dives. The third time, Nøkken catches him and gives a backbreaker. He gives Ophidian a hot shot on the guardrail. In the ring he back elbows Ophidian in the corner. Ophidian throws some shots, but Nøkken cuts him off with a haymaker for two. Nøkken grabs a nerve hold. Ophidian fights out. Nøkken tosses him out of a side slam. Ophidian wants a roll up. Nøkken lifts him up into a chokeslam for two. He also gets two with a powerslam. He goes for an Oklahoma Stampede. Ophidian counters into the Death Clutch. Nøkken tosses him off. He misses a yakuza kick. Ophidian headscissors him into the top turnbuckle and lands an enzuigiri. He knocks down Nøkken into the corner with a spinwheel kick and drives his knees into Nøkken’s chest. He headstands into a double knee strike four times. He comes off the top with double knees for two. Ophidian puts on a bodyscissors with the Death Grip. Nøkken negotiates his way out into a sit-out piledriver for the pin at 8:02. A nice big man vs. little man dynamic was on display here. I liked both guys’ strategies and Nøkken looks strong heading into his future Grand Championship bout. **¼

Jakob backstage says Nøkken has acquired his third point, as predicted. When the time is right, he will bring home the Grand Championship. Nøkken said he defeated the demon, the dragon, and then the snake. Now, he is going to rip off the golden boy’s wings and turn them to dust. But what about Chuck Taylor? What if he wins? At least pretend, or air this at the end of the show.

Race Jaxon is excited about his and Rockwell’s bout against the Colony: Xtreme Force. He says they were off of their game at King of Trios, but tonight they’re going to take them to task. Rockwell seems tired and out of it.

N_R_G (‘The Generator’ Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. The Colony: Xtreme Force (Arctic Rescue Ant & Missile Assault Ant)

Rockwell hip tosses Jaxon to the floor onto Arctic and Missile. Arctic comes off the second rope with a crossbody. Rockwell catches him and tosses him up for a double flapjack with Jaxon. Jaxon dropkicks Missile off the apron. He superkicks Arctic. Rockwell spins him out into a backbreaker for the pin at 1:12. I’m a fan of N_R_G so them disposing of the Xtreme Force in quick fashion is a-OK with me. ¼*

Missile Assault Ant leaves Arctic Rescue Ant laying in the ring.

UltraMantis Black says he vanquished Delirious at the Season finale, but at what cost? When he took over the Eye of Tyr, he was attuned to the access of its power. However, its power has altered since it has been re-assembled post-shattering. Who knows how volatile it is or what it can do? He won’t rest until he has answers as to what it may have done to Hallowicked and Frightmare. But for now, he warns Juan Francisco de Coronado not to underestimate his power. Tonight, it all begins anew.

UltraMantis Black vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Coronado attacks Mantis as Mantis slides into the ring. Mantis gets whipped off the ropes and catches Coronado with a back elbow. He rams Coronado’s head into multiple corners. He gives him the Japanese Ocean Cyclone suplex for two. He sends Coronado to the apron and full nelson slams him bottom first onto the ring apron. Mantis then gives him an atomic drop. Coronado misses a leg drop. Mantis gives him some Mongolian chops ringside. Coronado throws a punch and drives Mantis’ left arm into the ring steps and the guardrail. In the ring, Coronado slams Mantis while trapping his arm in a hammerlock. Coronado drives the arm into the ring canvas. Mantis gets his foot on the rope to break an arm hold, but Coronado stomps on his arm anyhow. He divorce courts the arm and ascends the ropes. Mantis tosses him to the mat. He delivers a flurry of forearm strikes. Mantis avoids a slam and hits a modified Cosmic Doom for two. Coronado picks up Mantis and spins him into a slam in which he lands on his elbow. He O’Connor rolls Mantis into a German suplex for two. Mantis fires back with a double thrust. He wants the Praying Mantis Bomb. His arm gives way. Coronado victory rolls Mantis. Referee Derek Sabato gives Coronado an earful for cheating. Mantis hits the Praying Mantis Bomb for the pin at 8:44. This was a solid back and forth match with effective limb work from Coronado. This is now two Mantis matches Sabato has refereed, so I wonder where that will lead. **¾

The BDK is backstage. Jakob Hammermeier says he has dastardly, nefarious allies: Nøkken, Pinkie Sanchez, and now, the man who wants to destroy the Colony more than he does, Soldier Ant. He says the enemy of his enemy is his friend and gives a hearty laugh.

The Colony (Fire Ant, Silver Ant & Worker Ant) vs. The BDK (Jakob Hammermeier & Pinkie Sanchez) & Soldier Ant

Silver Ant attacks Sanchez while Worker Ant attacks Hammermeier. They spill out to the floor, leaving Fire and Soldier Ant to face off. Fire Ant ducks Soldier Ant’s attacks. Soldier Ant ends up choking him. He tries a chokeslam which Fire Ant counters with a prawn hold. Hammermeier punches Fire Ant to the Colony corner. Worker Ant forearms Soldier Ant from the apron and comes off the top with a double axe handle. He forearms Hammermeier to the corner and flapjacks him on the top turnbuckle. Worker Ant backdrops him into a uranage slam. Sanchez kicks Worker Ant in the stomach. They trade strikes. Sanchez kicks Worker Ant to the mat. He suplexes Worker Ant. Worker Ant catches Sanchez with an atomic drop. Silver Ant slams Sanchez into a legdrop. He lays in some chops. Fire and Silver Ant light up Sanchez with kicks. Fire Ant slams Sanchez and lands a back senton for two. Sanzhes back elbows Fire Ant after reversing his Irish whip. The BDK beat down Fire Ant in their corner. Soldier Ant tosses Sanchez out so he himself can aggressively stomp down Fire Ant in the corner. Fire Ant bicycle kicks Sanchez and gives Hammermeier a Death Valley Driver onto Sanchez. Worker Ant tags in. He slams Hammermeier, Sanchez, and Soldier Ant. Silver and Worker Ant forearm Sanchez and Hammermeier to the floor, then Antapult Fire ant onto them. Worker Ant tries to slam Sanchez, but Hammermeier chop blocks his leg out. Sanchez elbow drops Worker Ant’s leg and back elbows the other Colony members. Soldier Ant tosses Sanchez out and lays in the boots to Worker Ant. He knocks Silver Ant off the apron and chokes Worker Ant. Hammermeier shoves Soldier Ant out and chokes Worker Ant with his boot. He works over his right leg. Worker Ant manages to backdrop Hammermeier and tag in Silver Ant. Silver Ant comes in with a top rope dropkick to Hammermeier and a running crossbody headbutt to Sanchez. He kicks Soldier Ant in the leg and gives him an antzuigiri. He headbutts Soldier Ant from the apron and comes in with a double jump DDT for two. Silver Ant catches Hammermeier with a tiger feint kick. The entire Colony give him an Ants Marching dropkick. The Colony press slam Sanchez out onto Hammermeier and Soldier Ant. Silver and Solider Ant slug it out back in the ring. Silver Ant gives him a Blue Thunder Bomb. Sanchez breaks the pin. He drops Silver Ant with a bodyscissors DDT, then puts on a Guillotine choke. Fire Ant gives Sanchez the Yahtzee Kick. Hammermeier brings Fire Ant to the floor. Silver Ant and Sanchez exchange boots. Silver Ant tries to give Sanchez the Burning Snicklefritz. Sanchez fights out, so Silver Ant gives him a release German suplex. Hammermeier breaks the pin and hits Gute Nacht. Worker Ant breaks that pin. Soldier Ant tosses Sanchez out and gives Worker Ant an over the shoulder powerslam for two. The other four fight on the floor. Solider Ant puts on a leg lock with a bodyscissors. Silver Ant fights off Hammermeier and makes the save. He looks for the CHIKARA Special: Green on Soldier Ant. Hammermeier gives Silver Ant his haymaker. Fire Ant high crossbody’s onto Hammermeier. He bounces off the ropes and gives Hammermeier a brainbuster. He antzuigiri’s Sanchez. He drills Sanchez with the Beach Break. Fire Ant goes to kick Soldier Ant but stops himself. Soldier Ant turns him inside out with a clothesline. He picks up Fire Ant by the throat. Fire Ant salutes at him. Soldier Ant let’s go of the choke. Soldier Ant almost salutes, but Hammermeier shoves him and Fire Ant together. Worker Ant goes for GTS on Hammermeier. Hammermeier kicks out Worker Ant’s knee to escape. He puts him in a modified sharpshooter. Worker Ant taps out at 20:25. This definitely went on too long, but it had pretty consistent action and the Soldier Ant interactions were interesting. If they had kept it brief it would have been a better package but it was solid nonetheless. ***¼

Eddie Kingston vs. Kevin Condron

The Lithuanian Snow Troll, who Condron freed from the Flood last month, is in Condron’s corner. Troll has a wrench in his hands, which Condron used to attack Eddie Kingston last month. Condron starts the match with the wrench in hand. Kingston wants to use a chair but, Condron knows that Kingston won’t get disqualified since he has three points. Kingston punches Condron and tosses him overhead in a pump-handle exploder suplex. A belly-to-belly suplex follows. Kingston lights him up with chops to the chest and back. He pitches Condron to the floor and whips him into the barricades. Condron doesn’t want to let Kingston back in the ring so he will lose his points, but Kingston chops him away and breaks the count. He drops Condron on the ring apron with a reverse DDT. In the ring Kingston gives him a yakuza kick and a running facewash kick. Kingston tosses him with a uranage. The Troll grabs Kingston by his leg. Kingston pulls him into the ring and hits him with a Backfist. Condron sneaks up and drops Kingston with a spinebuster for barely a one count. Kingston shoves Condron, who accidentally knocks into referee Jonathan Barber. Condron pretends that Kingston gave him a low blow. Barber falls for it and disqualifies Kingston at 5:38. I guess this is a way for this feud to kick off and continue, but how stupid can Barber look? How dissatisfying was the overall story? Quite, I would say. ½*

The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama) vs. Hallowicked & Frightmare

Hallowicked and Frightmare, having been brainwashed by the Eye of Tyr, are now donned in very ghastly red, black, and white wardrobes and carry a cross with a flag on it with them. Hallowicked and Frightmare pound on the Batiri, sending the Batiri outside looking perplexed by their opponents new demeanor. Frightmare pounds on Kodama’s back and throws him to Hallowicked. Kodama fights out of his arms. Obariyon fights Hallowicked to the floor. Kodama comes in from the apron with a slingshot armdrag on Frightmare. Kodama lands a dropkick as well. He drapes him on the top rope and boots him in the side of the head thrice. He atomic drops Frightmare into a running knee strike from Obariyon. Obariyon takes over Hallowicked with a Frankensteiner. He lays in some chops. Hallowicked shoves him away but gets drop toe hold on the middle rope. Obariyon knee strikes him to the floor. He backdrops Frightmare onto Hallowicked and Kodama suicide dives after them. Obariyon looks to dive, but Frightmare and Hallowicked toss Kodama into him to stop his attack. The Nightmare Warriors wear down Obariyon back in the ring as Kodama recovers on the apron. Obariyon manages to send Hallowicked to the floor and powerslam Frightmare so he can tag in Kodama. He cleans house on Hallowicked and Frightmare. He slams Frightmare face first into the mat before giving him a neckbreaker. Kodama back elbows Hallowicked and comes off the second rope with a springback Ace Crusher. Frightmare eats multiple dropkicks in the corner. Frightmare catches Kodama with a yakuza kick in the corner. Kodama gives Frightmare a blockbuster onto Obariyon’s knees. Hallowicked breaks the pin and sends Kodama shoulder first into the ring post. Obariyon eats a step-up enzuigiri. Hallowicked hits Kodama with Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. He drops Obariyon with a Rydeen Bomb for two. Obariyon eats an enzuigiri/yakuza kick combo in the corner. Hallowicked gives him a super snapmare. Frightmare hits Kneecolepsy. Kodama breaks the pin. Frightmare succumbs to the Skull Bronzing. Hallowicked disposes of Obariyon. He yakuza kicks Kodama into a crucifix bomb from Frightmare for the pin at 13:01. This was a nice way to showcase Hallowicked and Frightmare’s new attitudes. I also appreciated the reversed roles these teams played from their original feud, and how Kodama got an opportunity to shine, something he doesn’t always get the chance to do. I’m very curious to see what the future holds for both teams. ***¼

Grand Championship
Icarus vs. Chuck Taylor

Taylor stomps down Icarus in the corner. He gives him a chop and punch before whipping him across the ring. Icarus catches him with a boot and a flying headscissors. An Emerald Frosion only gets him a two count. He unloads his own chops. Icarus sends Taylor to the floor. Icarus looks to perhaps go for an Asai moonsault, but Taylor yanks his leg causing Icarus to crash into the apron. He whips Icarus into the barricades. Taylor sets up some chairs onto the arena floor. However, it’s Icarus who pulls up two suplexes to Taylor on those chairs. In the ring, Taylor catches Icarus with a boot and pitches him right back to the floor. He drops Icarus face first onto the ring apron. In the ring, Taylor gives Icarus a butterfly suplex for two. Icarus clotheslines Taylor to the floor and suicide dives after him. Back inside, he headscissors Taylor face first into the middle turnbuckle and German suplexes Taylor for two. Taylor baits Icarus into the Brodie Knee. Icarus comes back with an enzuigiri. Taylor overhead suplexes Icarus into the corner for two. He misses a moonsault. Icarus wants the Blu-Ray. Taylor almost shoves Icarus into Bryce Remsburg. Instead, Icarus stops short and Taylor accidentally clotheslines Bryce! Icarus gives Taylor a Shiranui but Bryce is still out. Taylor takes a bottle out of his ring jacket. He throws powder into Icarus’ face! Icarus pulls his own powder out of his boot and throws it in Taylor’s face! He drops Taylor face first across Icarus’ knee for two. Icarus for a Shiranui. Taylor crotches him on the top rope and brings him down with the Awful Waffle. Icarus kicks out! Taylor grabs the Grand Championship belt. As Bryce is disposing of it, Icarus sets up for the Pedigree. Taylor low blows Icarus to stop him! Icarus is able to kick out. Taylor applies the Kentucky Crawdad. Icarus makes it to the bottom rope. Taylor gets in a shoving match with Bryce. When Taylor goes to grab Icarus, he hits Taylor in the face with the belt! The fans boo as Icarus drops Taylor with the Pedigree. When Taylor kicks out, Icarus locks on the CHIKARA Special. Taylor taps out at 11:42. I’m not sure what to make of all the cheating. It made for a unique bout, but was Icarus simply retaliating, or was this to show that he may not be as pure as we all think? I do appreciate Taylor pulling out some tactics that got F.I.S.T. some big wins back in the day (the powder and Kentucky Crawdad) specifically, but the match itself lacked the big fight feel title matches should have. ***

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

This show was an average way to open the season. The cool thing though is you can buy matches individually from CHIKARA, so with that in mind, it might be worth your time to check out the BDK vs. Colony, Batiri vs. Hallowicked & Frightmare, and perhaps the Grand Championship match if you're so inclined. The rest is serviceable, but altogether skippable. Beware: CHIKARA began editing their own shows, and with this being their first attempt, it was a very, very tough watch at times. You can buy the show on DVD or Blu-Ray from Smart Mark Video. For a reduced price, you can download the show as an mp4 or watch it On Demand from CHIKARA's website. For more information on CHIKARA, check out their official website, their Facebook page, follow them on Twitter, and subscribe to their YouTube channel. You can also check out my CHIKARA review website, The CHIKARA Special, The CHIKARA Special Tumblr, and my CHIKARA promo YouTube channel of the same name. All of these websites are disseminated through the CHIKARA Special Twitter feed.