100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Altar Egos

Norfolk, VA – 3.8.2015

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Icarus
Campeones de Parejas: The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Juan Francisco de Coronado, Jakob Hammermeier, Dasher Hatfield, and UltraMantis Black.

The show begins with the Bloc Party attempting to invade the Norfolk Scope, much like D-Generation X attempted to back in the day.

Pinkie Sanchez says Nøkken missed a party in North Carolina. He tells Nøkken that he didn’t win, but wonders where Nøkken was. Nøkken said he was crushing boulders preparing for his title match tonight. Enter Jakob Hammermeier, who says when they leave Norfolk they will have one point in the Challenge of the Immortals, as well as the Grand Championship.

Challenge of the Immortals
The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama) vs. The BDK (Jakob Hammermeier & Pinkie Sanchez)

The Batiri represent the Arcane Horde while Hammermeier & Sanchez represent the BDK. Kodama and Hammermeier’s Lucha sequence ends with a toreador by Kodama that sends Hammermeier outside. Obariyon hip tosses Sanchez and gives him a bodyslam. Sanchez charges and is taken over with a backdrop. Obariyon gives Hammermeier the same three moves when he enters. The BDK retreats on the floor, so the Batiri suicide dive onto them. Obariyon uppercuts Sanchez for a two count. Hammermeier knees Obariyon in the back as he hits the ropes. Sanchez drops Obariyon with a bodyscissors DDT. Kodama breaks the pin. The BDK isolate Obariyon in their corner, focusing their attack on his neck and throat. Obariyon avoids the Shiney Hiney and powerslams Sanchez giving him the opening to tag in Kodama. He throws a barrage of strikes and kicks at Hammermeier before driving him face first into the canvas. He drops Hammermeier with a neckbreaker. He drags Hammermeier back in the ring for a back elbow in the corner. He hits a springback Ace Crusher for two. Sanchez assists Hammermeier in fighting off a Batiri double team. He double stomps Kodama into a neckbreaker from Hammermeier. Obariyon breaks the pin. Obariyon ducks a clothesline from Hammermeier. The Batiri hit Hammermeier with the Skull Bronzing. Sanchez eats the Seventh Circle for the pin at 9:39. This felt a little off at times. Not that anything was bad or awkward, but it didn’t feel like much more than a formulaic tag match with little emotion. Overall it was fine, just not terribly intriguing. **¼

UltraMantis Black vs. Volgar

Volgar tries attacking Mantis. Mantis fights back with forearms and stomps down Volgar in the corner. Mantis lays in a Mongolian chop. He kicks Volgar to avoid a corner attack and drops him with a backcracker. Mantis follows up with a back suplex, causing Volgar to hit the floor. Mantis comes off the apron with a somersault senton. He chops Volgar before bringing him back into the ring. Volgar catches Mantis with a Samoan Drop. A running kick to a seated Mantis follows. Mantis counters a clothesline with an Uncle Slam. He hits the Cosmic Disaster and a Michinoku Driver. Hallowicked yakuza kicks Mantis behind the referee’s back! Volgar rolls up Mantis and holds his tights for the pin at 3:03. Quite an upset. This ended up being story driven, but it was actually solid for the short time it lasted. *

Kevin Condron enters the ring. He tells Volgar that people are wondering why he didn’t attack him at “Tomorrow Never Dies” when he had the chance. The reason he did that was because he knows who Volgar truly is inside. He knows he’s a monster, not a sadistic servant as his website profile states. Condron says the fans rejected Volgar and made him into a monster. He says Volgar is capable of greatness, as proven by his win over UltraMantis Black. He tells Volgar if he follows him that he will become the person he was always meant to be. Volgar walks away, seeming to reject his offer. Condron then states he knows Volgar’s secret. This stops Volgar in his tracks. Condron says the fans may need to know the secret one day. Volgar keeps walking. Condron then has his music play and leaves the ring.

Elimination Match
The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & ‘Mr. Touchdown’ Mark Angelosetti) vs. Silver Ant & Frightmare vs. N_R_G (‘The Generator’ Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. The Bloc Party (The Proletariat Boar of Moldova & Prakash Sabar)

Angelosetti controls by Silver Ant by his left arm. Angelosetti takes him over in a double knuckle Northern Lights suplex for two. Silver Ant catapults Angelosetti and looks for a grapevine ankle lock. Angelosetti grabs the bottom rope to escape. Frightmare yakuza kicks Angelosetti, then sweeps out his legs for a back senton. Angelosetti counters his pin with a crucifix for two. He muscles up Frightmare, who takes Angelosetti back down in a side headlock. They evade each others’ offense until Frightmare grabs a modified horse collar. Once again Angelosetti gets the ropes. Silver Ant slams Angelosetti into a legdrop, then hits a running somersault senton for two. Angelosetti escapes a slam and tags in Hatfield. Silver Ant armdrags him right away. Frightmare blind tags. Silver Ant kicks Hatfield into a neckbreaker from Frightmare. The Bloc Party clear the ring and ring apron. They give Angelosetti a side slam/reverse DDT combo. Hatfield breaks the cover. Sabar eye rakes him into a spinebuster from Boar. Sabar throws kicks at Angelosetti in the corner. Angelosetti counters the Bronco Buster with a sit-out powerbomb. Frightmare blind tags in and drops Boar with a crucifix driver for two. Hatfield spins Frightmare out into a neckbreaker. Silver Ant makes the save. Angelosetti drives him into the corner. Silver Ant catches him with a tiger feint kick. He dropkicks him in the side of the head from the apron. A slingshot senton follows. He headbutts Hatfield from the apron. Hatfield catches Silver Ant with the Suicide Squeeze as he tries a springboard dropkick, eliminating Silver Ant and Frightmare at 7:10. Sabar attacks Hatfield just as he and Rockwell are about to have a test of strength. Sabar baits Rockwell into a kick to the stomach. Rockwell throws a flurry of fists. He slams Sabar into a back senton. Jaxon lands a flip senton off of Rockwell’s back for two. As N_R_G is working on Sabar’s arm, Boar blindsides Rockwell with a big boot. The Bloc Party wears him down until he avoids a corner splash from Sabar and tags in Jaxon. He high crossbody’s Boar and clotheslines Sabar, coming through the ropes after impact. He comes off the top with a double dropkick to the Bloc Party. He suicide dives onto the Boar. Sabar looks to dive, but Angelosetti cuts him off with a sunset flip. The 3D from the Throwbacks onto Sabar eliminates the Bloc Party at 14:05. Hatfield ducks Jaxon’s clothesline. After some positioning, Jaxon takes Hatfield down with a belly-to-belly throw. Angelosetti spears Jaxon. Rockwell shoulder tackles Angelosetti thrice to take him off of his feet. Rockwell misses a corner splash. Angelosetti shoulder blocks him thrice in the corner. Hatfield charges in with a baseball slide dropkick. The Throwbacks drop him with a double suplex. Jaxon breaks up the pin and pitches Angelosetti to the floor. He hits Hatfield with a flying forearm. Hatfield ducks the superkick. Jaxon avoids the 3D. Rockwell boots Hatfield into a crucifix pin from Jaxon for two. Jaxon superkicks Angelosetti into the Hyperwheel from Rockwell, giving N_R_G the win and their third point at 17:19. The action in this match was consistent, exciting, and helped the match move along. Every team got a chance to look strong, especially N_R_G with a big win in their home state and momentum going into a Campeones de Parejas match. Fun stuff. ***

Grand Championship
Icarus vs. Nøkken

Nøkken big boots Icarus before the bell and gets a two count. He pummels and chokes Icarus in the corner. He shoots Icarus off the ropes and hits him with a body block for two. He side slams Icarus for two. Nøkken clobbers his back with some forearms. He sits down with a Rikishi Driver for two. He slams Icarus and lands a Vader Bomb for two. Nøkken goes for a splash. Icarus rolls so that Nøkken’s knees crash into Icarus’ back. Icarus throws some chops and a running forearm. Nøkken turns him inside out with a clothesline. Icarus avoids the Kreuz Bomb. He nails Nøkken with a running knee strike for a one count. The Shiranui only gets him two. Icarus gives him the Blu-Ray! That gives Icarus the win at 4:35. It was probably best keeping this short, but it was tough to buy into Icarus winning after taking so much punishment. For a Grand Championship contest this came off as fairly inconsequential. *¼

Princess Kimberlee addresses her team of Jervis Cottonbelly and Los Ice Creams. She talks about them being a great trio. She is confident that they will win. Cottonbelly tries to get in a word edgewise, but Princess Kimberlee shuts him down.

Challenge of the Immortals
Crown & Court (Princess Kimberlee, Jervis Cottonbelly, & Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.) vs. The Wrecking Crew (The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive & Flex Rumblecrunch) & Jaka)

Princess Kimberlee’s team represents Crown & Court while the Devastation Corporation and Jaka represent The Wrecking Crew. Sidney Bakabella is in the Wrecking Crew’s corner. Hijo dances for Smashmaster. Smashmaster not only refuses to dance with him, but tells Hijo that he eats Dippin’ Dots. Hijo’s team consoles him. Jr. tags in and gets punched in the stomach and back by Smashmaster. Hijo does his dance, causing him to pummel his own partners back by accident. Smashmaster then does the dance, pounding Jr.’s back in the process. Jr. drop toe holds Smashmaster into a double axe handle from Hijo to the back. Hijo sits on his chest. Jr. splashes onto Smashmaster. Cottonbelly tries a pin and gets two. Kimberlee sends Smashmaster out with a headscissors! Jaka avoids an O’Connor Roll. Kimberlee finally gets it for a two count. She throws some forearms. Jaka back elbows her. She gives Jaka a split into a jawbreaker. Cottonbelly dropkicks Jaka. He and Kimberlee land a tandem elbow drop. Jaka gets in some shots on Hijo. Rumblecrunch shoots him off the ropes only to get pinched in the butt. McMassive clotheslines Hijo from the apron as he hits the ropes. The Wrecking Crew takes over. Jaka headbutts Hijo to the floor, then hip tosses Jr. into the ring. Smashmaster pummels him, including biting his cone. He throws Jr. outside. Cottonbelly tries to fight but is cut off with a clothesline. He ostensibly is bullied by the Wrecking Crew for a period in their corner. Rumblecrunch kicks him to the floor where Los Ice Creams check up on him. The Wrecking Crew beg in Kimberlee to fight all four of them. Rumblecrunch gives her a hard strike to the face, beginning her beatdown in the Rudo corner. She kicks Smashmaster off the apron, avoids a corner splash from Rumblecrunch, and rolls him up for two. Los Ice Creams tag in. They give Rumblecrunch the Ice Cream Sandwich. Rumblecrunch clotheslines them both. Hijo baits Smashmaster and McMassive into a crossbody from Kimberlee. Rumblecrunch accidentally assists her with a double dropkick. Jaka goes for the Jumanji Bomb. Kimberlee counters with a huracanrana for two. Smashmaster tosses her out. Jaka jabs Hijo in the throat. Smashmaster gives Hijo a tombstone for the pin at 13:17. Watching the Wrecking Crew beat down people is always a fun time. Crown & Court had enough offense to not make it totally one-sided, but the Wrecking Crew winning was all but a certainty. Kimberlee is pretty great, if you didn’t already know. ***

Oleg the Usurper vs. Hallowicked

Hallowicked knocks the onion out of Oleg’s hands. Oleg breaks a waistlock. He shoves Hallowicked away, but gets sent into the corner with a drop toe hold. Hallowicked stomps him down. He gets on another waistlock. Oleg backs him to the corner. Hallowicked avoids an attack. Oleg shoves his onion in Hallowicked’s face, causing Hallowicked to hit the floor. Oleg looks to bring him in, but Hallowicked snaps Oleg’s right arm across the top rope. He focuses his attack on Oleg’s arm back in the ring. Hallowicked uses his knee to drive Oleg’s arm into the canvas for a two count. Oleg blocks the step-up enzuigiri. They block each others kicks, then nail each other simultaneously. They trade forearms as they get to their feet. Oleg builds up momentum off the ropes and splashes Hallowicked in the corner. Oleg avoids a dropkick and lands a back senton for two. Hallowicked shoves him away. He hits the Rydeen Bomb for two. Hallowicked misses a Swanton Bomb. Oleg sets up for Off With His Head. He hits it, but Hallowicked rolls to the floor and Oleg hurt his arm in executing the move. On the floor, Hallowicked throws Oleg face first into the canvas twice. He tries sending him into the entrance ramp, but Oleg reverses. Oleg comes off the entrance ramp with a somersault senton! Oleg misses a chop against the ring post. Hallowicked yakuza kicks him and re-enters the ring. Oleg makes it back in before the twenty count. Hallowicked gets in a few shots, but Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Hallowicked yakuza kicks him. Oleg fires up, so Hallowicked yakuza kicks him a second time for the pin at 9:49. This was the strongest Oleg has looked to date. As a member of Mantis’ Challenge of the Immortals clan, it was somewhat important for him to look strong against Mantis’ biggest enemy. At the same time, it got Hallowicked his third point and the arm work was done very well. **¾

Challenge of the Immortals
Battle Hive (Amasis & The Colony (Fire Ant & Worker Ant)) vs. The Snake Pit (Ophidian, Shynron & Argus)

Amasis’ team represents Battle Hive while Ophidian’s team represents the Snake Pit. Worker Ant uses his posterior to break out of Ophidian’s waistlock. Ophidian snapmares him into a bodyscissors. Worker Ant muscles Ophidian up into a suplex for a two count. Worker Ant slams him into a senton from Fire Ant and an elbow drop from himself. Fire Ant grabs a courting hold on Argus. Argus crawls through Fire Ant’s legs and grabs a hammerlock. Fire Ant takes him over with a fireman’s carry and holds onto his wrist. Fire Ant uses the ropes for an armdrag. Argus rolls back into a crucifix pin for two. Fire Ant grabs Argus by the wrist and tags in Amasis. They double back elbow Argus and do some dancing before dropping stereo elbows. Shynron and Amasis pick up the pace. Shynron O’Connor rolls Amasis for two. Amasis rolls him up for two. They lock up after reaching a stalemate. They fight for a suplex. The other partners enter to try and help. The Snake Pit ends up with triple inside cradles. Battle Hive kicks out and dropkicks their opponents to the floor. They follow with triple suicide dives. Back in the ring, the newcomer Argus finds himself trapped in the Battle Hive corner. He muscles Amasis up with a gutwrench suplex. Shynron flips in and kicks Amasis. He uses the ropes for a double knuckle drag, sending the Colony outside. He hits a twisting senton to the floor. Shynron slingshots back into the ring with a neckbreaker on Amasis for two. Amasis sends Shynron to the floor. Argus immediately forearms Amasis in the corner. He sends Amasis to the apron. Fire Ant forearms Argus and then to the floor. Ophidian misses an attack, causing the Colony to attack him. Shynron headscissors Worker Ant into double knees from Ophidian. Amsis breaks the pin. With everyone else on the floor, Ophidian and Amasis stand face to face. They block and duck each other’s offense, until Amasis catches Ophidian with a rebound enzuigiri. He misses an attack in the corner. Ophidian apologizes before driving his knees into Amasis’ back. He does a headstand into double knees to the chest. This leads to the Snake Pit wearing down Amasis in their half of the ring. Amsis reverses a whip from Shynron, giving him an atomic drop and clothesline. Fire Ant crossbody’s onto Argus and suicide dives onto Shynron. He kicks Ophidian from the apron before slingshotting in with Burning Down the House. He spikes Shynron with a tilt-a-whirl DDT for two. Shynron avoids the Yahtzee Kick and hits a back handspring Ace Crusher for two. Shynron flips off the top rope. Fire Ant catches him with an antzuigiri after Shynron gets to his feet. They trade strikes. The Portal stop their respective opponents. The Portal almost get whipped into each other by Fire Ant and Shynron. Amasis catches Ophidian and both Shynron and Fire Ant get hypnotized! The Portal begin arguing. Worker Ant and Argus O’Connor Roll the Portal. Fire Ant and Shynron double superkick Worker Ant and Fire Ant. The Portal throw rolling forearms to Shynron and Fire Ant. A series of kicks ends with Amasis pinning Shynron for two. He hits That Move I Beat Moses With on Shynron. Argus picks him up into a belly-to-belly suplex. He trips Fire Ant into a Gedo Clutch for two. Argus tries a mouse trap pin on Worker Ant, but he kicks out. He takes Worker Ant over with a tiger suplex. Worker Ant body checks Argus in the corner. The Colony and Amasis hit the Ants Marching dropkick. A series of top rope attacks ensues. Fire Ant ends up rolling Shynron into a prawn hold for two. The Yahtzee kick connects. Ophidian puts Fire Ant in the Death Grip. Fire Ant backs him to the corner to escape. The Portal battle on the ropes. Shynron assists Ophidian with a coast-to-coast dropkick to Amasis. He sends Fire Ant out and hits a twisting senton onto the Colony and Argus. Ophidian pulls Amasis up for a SUPER Egyptian Destroyer! That gets the Snake Pit the win at 20:19. Sometimes this was a bit chaotic, but it was mostly very fun and the finish was super cool. A little more crisp and this would have been better, but it was still very good as it was. ***¼

The show ends with a feature called “In Search Of…” in which Jervis Cottonbelly finds a fortune teller in the hopes that she will help him find The Estonian Thunderfrog. He brought some gauntlets (personal effects) for her to use. Using her power, and the gauntlets, she informs Cottonbelly that the Thunderfrog still lives. He is somewhere to the West, but his energy is too weak for her to know more. She tells Cottonbelly to be careful, as there are dark forces after him, and that this search may lead to his doom.

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

The show overall was solid but unspectacular. There was nothing you absolutely must see, and even for diehard fans like myself there wasn't a ton in the way of story execution. It's not bad, but one you can pass on. You can buy the show on DVD or Blu-Ray from Smart Mark Video. For a reduced price, you can download the show as an mp4 or watch it On Demand from CHIKARA's website. For more information on CHIKARA, check out their official website, their Facebook page, follow them on Twitter, and subscribe to their YouTube channel. You can also check out my CHIKARA review website, The CHIKARA Special, The CHIKARA Special Tumblr, and my CHIKARA promo YouTube channel of the same name. All of these websites are disseminated through the CHIKARA Special Twitter feed.