100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Haverhill, MA – 11.15.2014

Commentary is provided by Gavin Loudspeaker, Dasher Hatfield, Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Scott ‘Jagged’ Parker.

Jakob Hammermeier is backstage with Nøkken, Oliver Grimsly, and one of Dr. Cube’s minions, Slaash. Hammermeier says the BDK is stronger than ever and that he will not tolerate insolence. Tonight, with Oliver Grimsly on loan from the Odditorium, they will spoil 3.0 and Jervis Cottonbelly’s fun.

3.0 (Scott ‘Jagged’ Parker & Shane Matthews) & Jervis Cottonbelly vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Jakob Hammermeier & Nøkken) & Sir Oliver Grimsly

Milo Schnitzler and Slaash are is in the BDK and Grimsly’s corner. Schnitzler messes up Jakob’s name. Matthews shoulder blocks Grimsly twice. Hammermeier tells Grimsly to get out of his ring. Matthews’ withstands his shoulder block attempts. He trips Hammermeier as Hammermeier comes off the ropes. Matthews and Jagged do some damage to his left arm. Cottonbelly gives the arm a double axe handles. Hammermeier tackles Cottonbelly to the floor. Nøkken absorbs Matthews’ chops and pitches him outside. Nøkken shoulder checks Jagged to the floor. This leaves Cottonbelly to be isolated in the BDK and Grimsly’s corner. Cottonbelly escapes when he reverses Hammermeier and Grimsly’s double clothesline and throws them together. 3.0 take them both down with the Flip, Flop, and Fly. Grimsly takes the Heart Attack. Matthews turns him over into the Boston Crab. He breaks it to shove Hammermeier to the corner. Jagged enzuigiri’s Hammermeier. Matthews drop toe holds him into an elbow drop from Jagged. Nøkken breaks the pin. He goes to chokeslam Cottonbelly. Jagged forearms to Nøkken to stop him. Cottonbelly dropkicks Nøkken, causing him to get tied up in the ropes. 3.0 baseball slide dropkick Hammermeier and Grimsly. Matthews lariats Grimsly. Hammermeier brings Jagged to the floor. Cottonbelly airplane spins Grimsly. Hammermeier sneaks in and cracks Cottonbelly with a haymaker for the pin at 9:26. The action was a bit all over the place, but it established Hammermeier as a dominant leader and the crowd was into it. **¼

Princess Kimberlee vs. Missile Assault Ant

Missile shoves Kimberlee to the mat out of a lock-up. He screams his name after tripping her. Kimberlee and Missile shove one another yelling their names. She kicks him in the side of the head. She chops Missile like crazy against the ropes. Missile responds with a bicycle kick. He uppercuts Kimberlee and tosses her across the ring by her hair. He stomps on her repeatedly. When Kimberlee tries a schoolgirl, Missile chokes her with his boot. He gets two with a Jon Woo dropkick. Kimberlee goes for a kick. Missile ducks, then gives her three Northern Lights suplexes. He pulls up Kimberlee at the count of two. Kimberlee swiftly kicks him in the side of the head. She spikes Missile with a tornado DDT for two. Missile catches her coming off the top rope in mid-air with an uppercut for the pin at 6:10. Kimberlee has been one of my favorite wrestlers to watch in 2014, and while she didn’t get a great chance to showcase what she’s capable of, she played a fine Tecnico in peril and helped Missile look great going into the season finale. **½

Worker Ant vs. Prakash Sabar

Sabar takes down Worker Ant in a side headlock. He releases to taunt the crowd. He does the same after a collar-and-elbow mare. He dropkicks Worker Ant’s left knee. Worker Ant brings Sabar down in a side headlock. He armdrags Sabar and dropkicks him to the floor. Worker Ant catches him in the back of the head with a double axe handle off the apron. He drops Sabar face first on the ring apron. Sabar uses a headscissors to send Worker Ant’s face into the ring apron. Sabar slingshots back into the ring for a stomp to the face. Worker Ant trips him out to avoid a spinwheel kick. Sabar delivers a savate kick. Worker Ant looks for a fisherman’s buster. Sabar turns it into a small package for two. He throws some kicks to the back and chest. He lands three legdrops for a two count. Worker Ant blocks his rolling clothesline and with a divorce court. H wins a strike exchange and suplexes Sabar. He misses a corner attack. Sabar kicks him down. Worker Ant blocks the Bronco Buster with a uranage suplex. Sabar fights out of the GTS. He goes for the X-Factor. Worker Ant pops him onto his shoulders. He brings him down and hits the GTS. A rolling clothesline gets him the pin at 7:48. Both guys looked so timid, causing a lot of their moves to look contrived, awkward, or sloppy. By the end things got better, and the finish was solid, but the match really exposed both competitors. *

The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare) & The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama) vs. The Flood (Deucalion, Jimmy Jacobs, Volgar & GEKIDO (17 & The Shard))

A big brawl with everybody but Deucalion kicks off the match. Obariyon kicks Shard to the ropes and knee strikes the back of his head. Kodama dropkicks Volgar. He comes off the second rope with a back elbow. Deucalion starts attacking the other CHIKARA folks who are still fighting with the Flood outside. Kodama slides out and is sent face first into the apron. Jacobs pummels Obariyon back in the ring. 17 chops Obariyon down. Deucalion does damage to the other four CHIKARA wrestlers as the other Flood members beat down Obariyon. Deucalion looks for a chokebreaker on Obariyon, but Kodama saves him. He goes back outside while the Flood goes back to focusing on Obariyon. Deucalion catches a suicide dive from Obariyon and swings him into the ring steps. The Envoy all attack Volgar in the corner. Hallowicked tosses the Shard into Go 2 Sleepy Hollow from Frightmare. Hallowicked big boots 17 into Mantis’ Uncle Slam. Hallowicked super snapmares Volgar. Mantis gives him a neck snap. Hallowicked lands a Swanton. Kneecolepsy from Frightmare only gets two. Hallowicked and Mantis boot Deucalion to the floor. Deucalion pulls them both out. Shard avoids Kneecolepsy. He falls to a crucifix bomb at 6:59. The action was secondary to Deucalion looking like a destructive force, which he did. The match itself had some solid action, but we missed a lot of it due to the camera focusing on Deucalion and was never supposed to matter. **

Deucalion lifts up Frightmare for a chokebreaker. Out of nowhere, 17 punches Deucalion! He flees before he can feel any repercussions. Jacobs is confused. Deucalion looks to punish him, but after some coaxing Jacobs is let go. Deucalion instead gives the chokebreaker to the Shard. Jacobs doesn’t know what to make of it all. Backstage we see he and Volgar entering a room. 17’s gear and mask is laying on the floor. Jacobs angrily wonders who the person was under the mask.

The Proletariat Boar of Moldova says the boar needs war tonight, and he will bring the war to Shynron.

Shynron vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova

Shynron evades the Boar’s initial charges. He sweeps out the Boar’s legs for a standing shooting star press. Boar sends Shynron to the floor, but Shynron lands on his feet. He sweeps out Boar’s legs again. He hits a delayed slingshot twisting splash. He uses the turnbuckle to land a tumbleweed senton on the floor. Boar catches Shynron mid-air with a big boot. He chokes him on the bottom rope and in the corner. He drops an elbow for two. He puts on a Boar hug. Shynron escapes and takes Boar down with a Frankensteiner. Boar powerslams him for two. He reapplies the Boar hug. Shynron kicks Boar to stop a corner attack. He drop toe holds him to the corner and nails a tiger feint kick. Boar boots him to the apron. He misses a second boot, allowing Shynron to nail a slingshot neckbreaker for two. Shynron knocks Boar down with a series of kicks. He hits a back handspring Ace Crusher for two. He misses a bottom rope 450 splash. Boar turns him inside out with a lariat. He drops Shynron with a Death Valley slam for two. He goes for a Gore. Shynron flips up, causing Boar to collide with the ring post. Shynron hits a second rope 630 splash for the pin at 7:35. Shynron continues to be one of the most fun wrestlers to watch. The Boar was a really good foil for him as they told a good power vs. speed story that kept the crowd engaged. **¾

Juan Francisco de Coronado is locking up with Ashley Remington tonight again, which Coronado is grateful to Remington for. He says he even has a gift for Remington.

Ashley Remington vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

This is a rematch from “Thunderball.” Coronado asks for and receives a handshake. Coronado cleanly breaks a lock-up in the corner. Remington does the same, but breaks on the count of one. He puts on a side headlock. Coronado breaks it on two in the corner, which Coronado insists was a two count. Remington snapmares him into a crucifix pin for two. Remington spins him out into a Boss Man Slam. Coronado slaps Remington in the face! He throws Remington a finger fun, causing Remington to grab it and turn it into an overhead wristlock. Coronado punches Remington as Remington breaks it. Remington accidentally rams himself shoulder first against the ring post. Coronado applies a Fujiwara armbar, then legdrops the arm. He twists up the arm in the ropes. He drives Remington’s arm into the mat and a drops a knee onto it. Coronado sends him to the floor. Remington pulls him out. Coronado however shoves him shoulder first into the ring post. He stretches out the shoulder in the ropes again. Coronado accidentally crotches himself on the middle rope. Remington gets in a few boots and right armed clotheslines. He uses one arm for a bodyslam. He goes for a German suplex. Coronado reverses the waistlock. Remington fights out of it. He spins Coronado off his shoulders into a faceplant slam for two. Remington deadlifts Coronado up. Coronado can’t hold on due to his hurt shoulder. Coronado kicks the shoulder. He drives his knees into the shoulder. He goes up top. Remington catches him with a dropkick. Remington goes to bring him down, but Coronado pulls him down shoulder first across the top rope. Remington wants the German suplex. Coronado sends him shoulder first into the corner. This allows Coronado to hit a bridging German suplex. He puts his foot on the ropes and gets the pin at 13:46. Really solid storytelling revolving around Remington’s shoulder, and a nice progression from their match last month. These two have been some of the finer newbies to CHIKARA in 2014 and continue to put on solid matches. ***

Much like Remington presented Coronado with a fruit basket last month, Coronado does the same. However, this basket is solely filled with bananas, likely due to the fact that Coronado is Wrestling is Fun!’s top banana. When Remington goes to accept the basket, Coronado nails him in the head with it! He leaves and gives Remington a mocking finger fun. Remington rips a banana in half before angrily leaving.

Icarus, The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & Mark Angelosetti) & The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. The Wrecking Crew (The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive & Flex Rumblecrunch), Jaka & Oleg the Usurper)

Sidney Bakabella is in the Wrecking Crew’s corner. Icarus and Smashmaster shove one another.Icarus’ bodyslam attempt fails, giving Smashmaster a two count. Smashmaster does some damage to Icarus’ back, as does Jaka. Icarus gets in some forearms but Jaka clotheslines him back down for two. Oleg forearms his back. Icarus suplexes him, hurting his own back in the process. Bakabella hits Icarus from the floor. Icarus responds in kind. Ophidian baits Oleg into a corner dropkick from Amasis. The Portal give him the Slave Initiation and send him out with stereo dropkicks. McMassive big boots Amasis for two. The Throwbacks knock the Wrecking Crew off the apron. They double hip toss McMassive and deliver tandem diving headbutts. McMassive powerslams Hatfield. The Wrecking Crew wears down Hatfield. Hatfield rolls off of McMassive’s shoulders and tags in Ophidian. Ophidian hits the Duat Driver on McMassive. Jaka knife edge thrusts Ophidian in the throat. The Wrecking Crew now wear him down. Amasis jumps in one time to try and save his partner, but to no avail. Ophidian escapes a nerve pinch from Jaka. He flips out of Jaka’s belly-to-back suplex attempt and ducks a boot to tag in Icarus. Icarus forearms Jaka a few times. He comes off the second rope with a dropkick. He bodyslams every member of the Wrecking Crew, except Smashmaster. On the second try he successfully slams him for a two count. The Throwbacks hit him with Prime Time. Rumblecrunch and McMassive break the cover. Rumblecrunch slams Angelosetti. Ophidian chops and forearms McMassive. Amasis enzuigiri’s McMassive into Ophidian’s double knees. He takes the Slave Initiation. The Portal hit Rumblecrunch with an enzuigiri/superkick combo. Oleg splashes the Portal against the ropes. Jaka double suplexes the Portal. Icarus comes off the top with clotheslines to Jaka and Oleg. Rumblecrunch tosses Icarus off the top. Icarus rolls through but eats a lariat. Hatfield gives Rumblecrunch the Jackhammer. Oleg superkicks Hatfield to the floor. Angelosetti brings Oleg out of the corner with a spinebuster. Jaka drops Angelosetti with a double choke bomb. The Devastation Corporation look for a Death Blow on the floor. Instead. Icarus tosses Smashmaster off the top rope onto everyone. Back in the ring Icarus looks for the Shiranui on Smashmaster. Smashmaster counters with a tombstone. Hatfield breaks the pin. Jaka and Oleg brawl with the Portal near the entrance way. The Throwbacks give Hatfield the 3D. Bakabella tries hitting Hatfield with his shoe. Hatfield hits Bakabella with it instead. Rumblecrunch TKO’s Hatfield. McMassive and Smashmaster hit the Death Blow for the pin at 19:26. Unlike most CHIKARA vs. Flood ten men tags, this one was more of an actual wrestling contest than a big brawl. It also helped build the Devastation Corporation up for a future match with the Throwbacks and was a nice callback to King of Trios with the finish. The dynamic worked well and was a fun watch. ***

4.0

The final score: review Poor

The 411

A very disappointing show, especially following up on a great show in Richmond. None of the matches were memorable or worth going out of your way to see. Aside from 17's disobedience and the next chapter in the Remington/Coronado feud, there's not much to see here. Pass on this one. You can buy the show on DVD from Smart Mark Video. For a reduced price, you can download the show as an mp4 or watch it On Demand from SMVOD. For more information on CHIKARA, check out their official website, their Facebook page, follow them on Twitter, and subscribe to their YouTube channel. You can also check out my CHIKARA review website, The CHIKARA Special, The CHIKARA Special Tumblr, and my CHIKARA promo YouTube channel of the same name. All of these websites are disseminated through the CHIKARA Special Twitter feed.