100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Reality is Relative
Reading, PA – 12.12.2010
Commentary is provided by Gavin Loudspeaker, Tim Donst, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Ultramantis Black.
The Osirian Portal are backstage, ready to talk about their tag team match tonight. Wink Vavasseur interrupts. He thinks that the Portal should be in a trios match tonight instead. Wink introduces them to Jonathan Gresham who will be their partner tonight. The Portal look at Gresham with hesitance, especially since he isn’t Egyptian. The Portal have been looking to become a trio once more, so we’ll see how Gresham does.
Jakob Hammermeier, the BDK ring announcer, is still in a leg cast/arm sling/neck brace. Poor guy; how long do these injuries take to heal?
The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian), & Jonathan Gresham vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Lince Dorado, Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez, & Delirious)
The BDK attack The Portal and Gresham right before the bell. The fight spills to the floor with the BDK taking the advantage. Dorado and Gresham end up back in the ring. Gresham avoids an Irish whip, and bodyscissors Delirious into an armdrag. Gresham dropkicks Dorado to the floor and follows him out to the floor with a chop. Ophidian and Delirious end up in the ring. Dorado throws Gresham face first into the ring post while Ophidian sends Delirious to the floor with a kick. Ophidian goes to the floor, tagging in Sanchez and Amasis. Amasis does a little dancing. Sanchez sneezes on Amasis before kicking him in the arm. The BDK triumvirate isolate Amasis, preventing him from tagging out to his partners. Amasis finally escapes their grasp by hitting Dorado with a back elbow. Gresham tags in and knocks Delirious down with a nice combination of strikes. Gresham takes down Sanchez and Dorado with a double dragonscrew leg whip. Gresham hits Delirious with a standing shooting star press for two. Ophidian comes in and doubles teams Delirious with Gresham. Ophidian hits a standing moonsault for two. Dorado and Ophidian trade strikes in the middle of the ring. Dorado hits a standing Spanish Fly for two. Ophidian transitions from the Déjà vu into the Ophidian Death Grip. Sanchez and Delirious break the submission. The BDK triple team Ophidian in the corner. Sanchez comes in with a springboard seated Thesz Press for two. Amasis and Gresham bring Delirious and Dorado to the floor. Ophidian slides out to tag in Gresham. Sanchez kicks his legs out and hits a flying knee strike. Ophidian comes off the top rope with double knees to Sanchez. Delirious turns Ophidian inside out with a lariat. Amasis drops Delirious with a spinebuster. Dorado comes in and spikes Amasis on his head with a flipping DDT. Gresham gives Dorado an awesome variation of a tornado DDT. Gresham and Sanchez trade forearms. Gresham gives Sanchez a hip toss into a knee strike to the face. Dorado knocks him down and hits a lynxsault. Dorado springboards into a sit-out slam from Amasis. Delirious and Sanchez whip Amasis to the ropes. Amasis knocks Delirious down with a forearm. Ophidian and Gresham catch Sanchez with a superkick/enzuigiri combo. Amasis follows up with a 450 splash for the pin at 11:30. This was a really enjoyable, fast paced match to set the night off right. I am blown away by Jonathan Gresham. He goes a mile a minute and looks fantastic while doing so. More of him, please. Everyone else also did a great job keeping this match going at a break neck speed. Really good stuff all around.. ***
Sanchez gets on the microphone and asks for Delirious and Dorado to get in the ring. They head to the back, upset that Sanchez was the one who lost the fall. As he’s talking, Eddie Kingston comes in and nails him with a Backfist. Dorado and Delirious come back out to attack Kingston. Tursas runs out and hits a second rope splash. Director of Fun Dieter Von Steigerwalt comes out and forces the Tursas/Kingston match to happen right now.
Eddie Kingston vs. Tursas
Tursas immediately goes for the pin, but Kingston is able to kick out. Kingston gets in a few strikes before Tursas knocks him down and chokes him on the second rope and mat. Tursas sits down on Kingston’s back with a Camel Clutch. Tursas releases and forearms Kingston in the back. Tursas backs Kingston into the corner. He follows up with a splash for two. Tursas drops a mighty elbow. Kingston avoids a knee strike in the corner and lights up Tursas with chops. Kingston nails him with a yakuza kick. Tursas blocks a lariat and takes Kingston over with a German suplex. Kingston pops right back up and clobbers Tursas with a clothesline to the neck. Tursas responds with a hard slam to the mat. Tursas goes up to the middle rope. Kingston cuts him off. Kingston takes him down with a hurricanrana! The fans begin to the chant “Eddie! Eddie!”. Kingston nails him with the Sliding D for two. Tursas catches Kingston’s attempt at a yakuza kick and slams him down for two. Kingston nails him with the Backfist to the Future, and it has no effect! Kingston hits the Backdrop Driver to score the pin at 5:27. Kingston takes down Tursas for the second time, proving his Cibernetico victory was no fluke. Kingston’s feats of strength really got a nice reaction from the crowd. The story of the unstoppable monster being taken down by only one person is a great one, and they executed this match perfectly. **1/2
Tim Donst is backstage. He’s ready to take down Jimmy Olsen, another former Young Lions Cup champion. Donst says whenever you face the BDK, you’re always at a disadvantage. BDK referee Derek Sabato comes into the picture and says he hopes what happened to Lince Dorado last month doesn’t happen to Donst tonight. That is, Wink Vavasseur being ringside and not allowing Sabato to fast count his fellow BDK cohort. Donst says that there is no need to worry, since Donst didn’t need the BDK’s help when he won the Young Lions Cup.
Jimmy Olsen vs. Tim Donst
So as you may have already inferred from the above paragraph, Derek Sabato is the referee for this match. Olsen grabs a side headlock. Donst reverses. Olsen escapes into a wristlock. Donst slides through Olsen’s legs and takes him down with a headlock on the mat. Olsen transitions into a headscissors. Donst puts his feet on the ropes to escape. Donst backs Olsen to the corner and slaps him in the face. Sabato blocks Olsen’s punch, and Donst forearms Olsen in the face. Donst chokes him on the middle rope. Olsen takes Donst to three corners, chopping him at each one. Olsen gives him a backdrop. Sabato blocks his punch again, and Donst takes Olsen down with a spear for two. Donst suplexes Olsen for two. Donst chops Olsen in the corner. Donst twists on Olsen’s nipples, and Olsen slaps him to escape. Donst hits a running knee strike to Olsen’s head. Donst gives Olsen a backbreaker from the ring apron onto his knee on the floor. Donst slams Olsen face first into the ring apron. Donst uses the ropes to get leverage on a choke in the ring. Sabato, of course, does nothing about it. Olsen escapes. He trips Donst and drops him neck first on the top rope. Olsen follows up with a missile dropkick, and Sabato slow counts to allow Donst ample time to kick out. Donst crotches Olsen in the corner and hits a running back elbow. Donst hits a German suplex for two. Olsen blocks a second. Donst hits a bulldog. Sabato again blocks Olsen’s right punch. Olsen moves Sabato aside and Olsen is finally able to punch Donst right in the kisser. Wink Vavasseur makes his way ringside and Sabato becomes visibly worried. Olsen takes Donst over with a low hurricanrana. Olsen locks in the CHIKARA Special. Sabato breaks it in a manner to make it not seem suspicious. Donst then applies the Inverted CHIKARA Special, and Olsen taps out at 7:47. Donst has now defeated six Young Lions Cup champions in the past two months. Olsen finally getting his punch in and still losing played right into the story, and Donst continues to look like a strong competitor. This was good, basic wrestling all around. **1/2
UltraMantis Black vs. Hallowicked
This is a rematch from September’s “Through Savage Progress Cuts The Jungle Line” event. Mantis questions whether or not Hallowicked was involved in Obariyon and Kodama turning on him. Hallowicked has no idea what he means. Mantis hits some Mongolian chops before taking Hallowicked down with an armdrag for two. He hits a pair of Japanese armdrags and then sends Hallowicked to the floor with a wheelbarrow armdrag. Mantis comes off the apron with a somersault senton. Mantis lays in more strikes on the floor, including throwing Hallowicked face first into a chair. In the ring, Hallowicked cuts off Mantis with a big boot. He sunset flips Mantis for two. Hallowicked knocks him down with a yakuza kick. Hallowicked hits a suplex for two. Hallowicked throws forearm after forearm to Mantis’ neck. Hallowicked torques on Mantis’ knee on the mat. Hallowicked kicks Mantis in the stomach for a two count. Hallowicked hits a body slam and elbow drop for two. Hallowicked drops Mantis with a Rydeen Bomb. Instead of going for the pin, Hallowicked goes up top. Mantis climbs up as well and takes him back to the mat with a super butterfly suplex. Mantis tries a roll up for two, then tries a backslide which also only gets two. Mantis blocks a yakuza kick. He hits a Praying Mantis Bomb for two. Hallowicked escapes a throat clutch suplex and instead takes Mantis over with a step-up Frankensteiner. He follows up with a step-up enzuigiri. Mantis small packages Hallowicked to avoid the Graveyard Smash. Hallowicked reverses the momentum, pinning Mantis at 7:44. An interesting finish to an otherwise very good match. This was just a slight step above their Brooklyn match, but of course it’s the build up to the story’s payoff rather than the action itself that is most important. **3/4
Mantis grabs a microphone. He says that he wants a truce with Hallowicked. Before Hallowicked can respond, Sinn Bodhi aka Kizarny comes out with Obariyon, Kodama, and another hooded figure. Kizarny says he wants payment for building Mantis’ dark army: the Eye of Tyr. Mantis says he is no longer in possession of the Eye of Tyr. Kizarny is upset and says that Mantis’ life is about to turn into a three ringed circus. With that, Obariyon and Kodama hit the ring and attack Mantis. Kizarny comes in with the other hooded figure, who is wearing a strange green mask. Frightmare comes out and convinces Hallowicked to save Mantis. Frightmare and Hallowicked send Kizarny’s group packing. Hallowicked and Frightmare help Mantis to the back.
The Colony (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant) vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze)
Haze trips Soldier Ant off the apron, allowing Sara to drop Fire Ant right away with a piledriver. Fire Ant rolls to the floor to avoid being pinned. Soldier Ant backdrops Sara to avoid a piledriver himself. Sara and Haze stomp Soldier Ant down in the corner. Soldier Ant kicks out at one. Haze drops Soldier Ant with a neckbreaker for two. Sara and Haze take turns beating down Soldier Ant in their corner. Soldier Ant dives onto Sara on the floor, allowing Fire Ant to come in with a high crossbody to Haze. He follows up with a tope con hilo onto Sara. Fire Ant nails Haze with the Heat of the Moment. Haze’s nose is bleeding, and Soldier Ant drops her with a TKO for two. Soldier Ant transitions into the CHIKARA Special and Haze taps out at 5:00. This was shockingly short, but considering Daizee’s nose it’s easy to excuse. I feel really awkard giving this a rating considering how short it was and the potentially compromised finish. Regardless, the action was good throughout. N/R
The Throwbacks are backstage. Dunkerton gets ready to spit out one of his awesome promos, but Hatfield cuts him off saying that tonight he wants to take down Brodie and Grizzly for what they did last month.
The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton) vs. The Roughnecks (Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood)
The Throwbacks and Roughnecks throw punches to start. The fight goes to the floor where the Roughnecks maul their opponents. In the ring, Dunkerton knocks Redwood down with a clothesline. The Throwbacks drop Redwood with a big flapjack. Hatfield hip tosses Redwood, and then rolls into a dropkick. Dunkerton tags in and throws wild punches to Redwood. He aggressively throws forearms at Redwood’s face. Lee comes in and gets Dunkerton off Redwood’s back. Dunkerton however tags out to Hatfield, who hits a knee lift. Dunkerton tags back in and spears Redwood in the corner. Hatfield runs around the ring, but Lee cuts him off with a big clothesline from the apron. The Roughnecks try to double team Hatfield, but Hatfield throws them together head first by their beards. Hatfield slaps Lee. He ducks a clothesline and hits an underhand strike. Redwood rakes Hatfield’s eyes in the corner, and Lee throws him throat first overhead. The Roughnecks isolate Hatfield from Dunkerton, until he is able to catch Redwood with a bodypress. Dunkerton tags in and delivers right hands to both Roughnecks. He sends Lee to the floor with a dropkick. Dunkerton hits the Barack Obama, which is a urinage knee lift. Hatfield and Dunkerton hit a modified Alley Oop for two. Dunkerton puts Redwood on Hatfield’s shoulders on the top rope. Lee takes down Dunkerton with the truck stop. He superkicks Hatfield, and Redwood gives him a hurricanrana. Lee drops him with a half-nelson suplex for two. Redwood hits an ace crusher, and Lee hits a rolling lariat. Dunkerton breaks the pin, and Lee sends him to the floor. Lee big boots Hatfield in the corner. He places Hatfield on the middle rope. Redwood powerbombs him. He goes for the pin, but Hatfield reverses with an inside cradle for 10:03. This match showed a brand new, intense side of the Throwbacks which I really like. More than ever they seemed more cohesive and more of an actual threat. The Roughnecks reuniting is great to see as well, as Grizzly’s character is tailor made for CHIKARA and gels so well with Brodie. I’d love to see a rematch, and it looks like I will get my wish. ***1/4
Brodie attacks The Throwbacks post match, but the Throwbacks get the better of him. Redwood evens up the fight. Brodie nails Dunkerton with a big boot and throws Hatfield to the floor. Grizzly takes Hatfield’s baseball bat and slams it into Dunkerton and Hatfield’s mid-section and back. The Roughnecks leave with the bat, I guess as a sign of dominance.
Colin Delaney Olsen is backstage. He steals a line from one of Eddie Kingston’s old promos as a warning to Vin Gerard (“The world is cold, bundle up!”). He then apologizes for stealing the line, claiming he’s been watching a lot of old CHIKARA shows lately. He’s not the only one.
Colin Delaney Olsen vs. Vin Gerard
Colin cutting his hair and growing a beard is a big upgrade. Both guys immediately throw strikes and kicks to each other. Delaney takes him down with a headscissors. Gerard blocks a sharpshooter. Delaney sends Gerard to the floor with a forearm and follows up with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Delaney chops and bites Gerard in the corner. Gerard bails to the floor, and again Delaney follows out with a suicide dive. They trade shots back up to their feet. Delaney headbutts Gerard and lays in a few forearms. Gerard gives Delaney a big back drop on the hard floor. Gerard goes back in the ring to avoid being counted out. Delaney gets up eventually and tries to drag Gerard to the floor. Gerard goes to the floor on his own and throws Delaney back first into the ring apron. Gerard puts Delaney in a surfboard stretch, clinching Delaney’s neck to add more pressure. Gerard chokes Delaney after breaking the hold. Olsen prevents a dangling DDT, but Gerard attacks Delaney’s back to cut him off. Gerard hits a snap suplex for two. Gerard looks for his signature running knee strike in the corner, but Olsen crawls out to Gerard’s knees. Gerard gives him a few elbow smashes. Gerard comes off the second rope, and Delaney nails him with a knee strike. Delaney avoids the STO and hits a few elbow strikes. Delaney rams his elbow into the side of Gerard’s head. Gerard sends Delaney back first into the corner for two. Gerard looks for the STF, but Delaney grasps on the bottom rope tightly. Gerard drops Delaney with the 2k1 Bomb for two. Colin blocks another whip to the corner. Gerard leg whips him down, and Delaney again grabs the bottom rope to block the STF. Delaney is able to drop Gerard on his head with a low hurricanrana to score the pin at 10:17. Again, another unexpectedly hard hitting match turns out much better than the usual outing from these two. Not to say they’re usually bad, but the emotion and stiffness of their strikes just added so much more to this match. I really am interested to see what The UnStable will look like in 2011. ***
Claudio Castagnoli and Ares are backstage, yelling at all of the BDK members for losing tonight. They look a bit nervous before heading into their title match.
Dieter Von Steigerwalt comes out with Derek Sabato as the official for this match. Wink Vavasseur comes out and says since Bryce Remsburg is the Senior Official, he will be the official for the match. Sabato and Dieter try to reason with Wink, saying Sabato will be head official as of the next show. Wink will have none of it. Dieter takes Wink to the back as Sabato hangs out ringside.
Campeonatos de Parejas
Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Claudio Castagnoli & Ares) (Campeones) vs. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw
Delirious accompanies Claudio and Ares to the ring. Eddie Kingston comes out and takes Delirious to the back, neutralizing him as a threat.. Claudio and Ares stomp away at Quack and Jigsaw. Jigsaw and Quack send them to the floor and follow up with stereo dives. Jigsaw brings Claudio back in and hits a top rope dropkick. Claudio knocks Jigsaw down with a clothesline. Quack flies in with a springboard hurricanrana and flies onto Ares with another suicide dive. Quack goes up top where Claudio cuts him off. Quack rolls through a slam and palm strikes Claudio to the floor. Jigsaw throws Ares back in. Quack flips Ares into a superkick from Jigsaw. Quack mule kicks Ares, and Jigsaw hits a brainbuster. Claudio breaks the pin and kicks Jigsaw to the floor. Quack and Claudio trade strikes. Quack rolls through a dragonrana and pins Claudio with an Alligator Clutch at 2:09! This is the first time that Claudio and Ares’ opponents have scored the first fall in any Campeones de Parejas match this year. The ring becomes surrounded with members of the CHIKARA locker room, cheering on Quack and Jigsaw. Unfortunately for them, Claudio and Ares gain the upper hand and trap Quack in their corner. As you would expect, the BDK targets Quack’s back and cracked rib. Fortunately for Quack, he is able to bail to the floor after Ares hits him with a running headbutt. Jigsaw punches Ares and comes in with a high crossbody. Jigsaw dropkicks Ares in the corner and drops him with a Michinoku Driver for two. Jigsaw nails a top rope doublestomp, and Claudio sends Jigsaw to the floor with a big uppercut. Claudio kicks Bryce Remsburg in the back of the head and gives him a suplex! This brings in the BDK official Derek Sabato. Claudio drags Quack back in the ring and applies the Inverted CHIKARA Special. Sabato grabs Quack’s arm and slams it against the mat as if Quack was tapping out on his own. This gives the BDK the second fall at 9:56.
Jigsaw kicks Claudio in the face as Claudio tries to ram Ares shoulder first into him. Jigsaw armdrags Claudio into Ares in the corner. The BDK roll to the floor. Jigsaw dives onto both of them with a tope con hilo. In the ring, Claudio hits a running European uppercut. Jigsaw blocks the Swiss Chin Music with a roll up for two. Ares comes in and eats an enzuigiri. Jigsaw hits a German suplex for two. Ares drops Jigsaw with a Blue Thunder Bomb, and Jigsaw kicks out even with a fast count. Things look bleak as the BDK double team Jigsaw. Claudio hits a big pop-up European uppercut, and Jigsaw surprisingly kicks out! Jigsaw rolls through a Ricola Bomb with a Yoshi Tonic, and of course Sabato’s slow count allows Claudio to kick out. Jigsaw throws Claudio to the ropes which crotches Ares on the top rope. Jigsaw looks for a superplex, but Claudio stops him. Claudio gives him a chokeslam, and Ares comes off the top rope with a somersault senton for two. Claudio spins Jigsaw in the U.F.O., but Jigsaw drops him with a DDT. Ares clotheslines Jigsaw to the floor and drags in Quackenbush, who is still writhing in pain on the mat.. It turns out Quack was playing possum, as he small packages Ares for two. Quack drops Ares with the Quackendriver III, but Sabato’s slow count allows Ares to kick out. Quack takes Ares off the top rope with a super butterfly suplex. Claudio brings Ares to the floor to prevent a pinfall. He nails Quack with a European uppercut. Quack comes back with a flurry of forearms. Quack blocks the Swiss Chin Music with a powerbomb for two. Quack puts Claudio in the CHIKARA Special. Claudio turns out into a horse collar, but Quack kicks him away. Quack looks for a dragonrana, but Claudio powerbombs him twice instead. He hits the Ricola Bomb and goes for the pin, but Bryce Remsburg pulls Sabato out and punches him in the face! Bryce is the official once again. Jigsaw superkicks Claudio twice. He superkicks Ares and drops him with Jig N’ Tonic to score the third and deciding pin at 19:37. After 9 months, CHIKARA finally has the Campeones de Parejas back in their grasp. The culmination of this title match was so tumultuous that it paid off in a major way both emotionally and in the context of the match itself. Everything played out here, from Derek Sabato finally getting what he had coming and the BDK getting a taste of their own medicine. This was truly a fantastic way to culminate the season and the best possible main event to go out on. ****
Jigsaw and Quack have a big celebration as the fans cheer ringside and throw streamers. For good measure, Gavin Loudspeaker gives Jakob Hammermeier a stunner. The CHIKARA locker room fills up the ring, thanking Quack and Jigsaw for bringing the belts home.
The 411: "Reality Is Relative" was a very satisfying season closer for CHIKARA. A few story chapters closed with a few new ones opening, leaving you pleased with how the season ended and looking forward to how 2011 will begin. On top of that, the Campeonatos de Parejas match delivered in every capacity and many undercard matches that went above my expectations. CHIKARA should be very proud of this finale; it came off very well and makes the viewer looking forward to the new season. Very much recommended. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews over at The CHIKARA Special!
|Final Score: 8.0 [ Very Good ] legend|