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100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Tightrope & No One’s First, And You’re Next

October 6, 2016 | Posted by Kevin Ford
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100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Tightrope & No One’s First, And You’re Next  

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Philadelphia, PA – 6.11.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell)
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Dasher Hatfield, Mike Quackenbush, and Leonard F. Chikarason.

Princess Kimberlee tells Heidi Lovelace that the two of them have already accomplished so much in CHIKARA. When Kimberlee reminds us that she was a former Grand Champion, you can see the bitterness in Lovelace’s face. They have a chance to make history again by earning enough points to become the first ever female Campeones de Parejas. They shake hands and agree to make history again, together.

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Elimination Match
The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. Princess Kimberlee & Heidi Lovelace vs. Pinkie Sanchez & Arctic Rescue Ant vs. The Bloc Party (The Proletariat Boar of Moldova & Prakash Sabar)

Pinkie Sanchez decided to leave the BDK after being oppressed by Jakob for too long, deciding to hedge his bets partnering with guys he had chemistry with in the Infinite Gauntlet, hence him teaming with Arctic Rescue Ant tonight. Sabar and Ophidian start. Sabar gets in some chest kicks then calls for a dance off. Ophidian obliges, and after a pretty lengthy battle he “serves” Ophidian with the Bernie. Sabar kicks him to properly end the battle. Amasis blind tags in and hits a slingshot shoulder tackle. The Portal send Boar out with a double bicycle kick. Lovelace and Amasis engage in a Lucha exchange. Things are even until Ophidian shoulder blocks Lovelace in the mid-section from the apron. The Portal rock her with a superkick/enzuigiri combo. Sanchez and Arctic knock down the Portal with a pair of back elbows and dropkicks. Sanchez assists Arctic with a tope con hilo onto the Portal outside. Jakob Hammermeier comes out on the apron to admonish Sanchez. Sanchez tells him to get out. Boar and Sabar attack him and Arctic from behind. The Bloc Party dispose of them, brining in Lovelace and Kimberlee. They assault the Boar with kicks. Kimberlee spin kicks Sabar into a Saito suplex from Lovelace. Sabar trips Kimberlee to the floor as Lovelace tries to drive Boar face first into the turnbuckle. Boar gives her a hard kick to the stomach and Sabar hits the Busted Bronco for two. Lovelace finds herself isolated in the Bloc Party corner until she cuts off Sabar’s second Busted Bronco with a clothesline. Kimberlee tags in and takes out the Bloc Party with clotheslines and then the two other teams with German suplexes. Kimberlee and Lovelace go fo for their spin kick/suplex combo again, but Kimberlee accidentally hits Lovelace with the kick! Boar spears Kimberlee and Sabar hits the X-Factor on Lovelace for the pin and elimination at 12:05. When Kimberlee helps Lovelace up, she instinctively raises her forearm for a strike, but stops short and heads to the back with Kimberlee. Ophidian attacks the Bloc Party with forearms and bicycle kicks in opposite corners. He drives his knees into Sabar’s chest. He tries with the Boar but Ophidian catches him. The Bloc Party drop Sabar with a side slam/inverted DDT combo. Ophidian rolls out. Arctic misses a high crossbody. Sabar back rakes Arctic into a spinebuster from Boar. Sanchez breaks the pin. Sabar sends Sanchez shoulder first into the ring post. Arctic dropkicks Boar off the apron after Boar knees him. Arctic ducks a clothesline from Sabar and holds on. Sanchez top rope double stomps Sabar into a neckbreaker from Arctic, eliminating the Bloc Party at 14:44. Amasis throws punches at both men until Arctic cuts him off with a facebuster. Ophidian bicycle kicks Sanchez twice, then kicks Arctic off the apron. The Portal call for the Pyramid Suplex on Arctic. They connect, but Arctic is able to kick out. Ophidian sets up for the Egyptian Destroyer. Sanchez cuts him off. However, Ophidian gives him a fisherman’s buster. Amasis then assists Ophidian with an Egyptian Destroyer on Sanchez. Ophidian knocks Arctic off the apron and then pins Sanchez for the win at 17:47. There was a lot of wasted time in the beginning and the action didn’t feel very cohesive. For story purposes, they showed more cracks in Heidi and Kim’s relationship and some promise in a Sanchez/Arctic tandem, but the action itself was fairly pedestrian. Considering how these elimination matches usually deliver, I was left underwhelmed. **½

Oleg the Usurper has seen Jigsaw’s masked face in his dreams and has seen their battle play over and over in his mind, and it ends with Jigsaw’s head coming off. Never has Jigsaw faced a warrior such as himself before.

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Oleg the Usurper vs. Jigsaw

Jigsaw ducks Oleg’s initial offense, throwing some kicks to Oleg’s leg. Oleg catches him in the corner and unloads with forearms and chops. Jigsaw rolls outside to create some distance. He comes back in with a sneak attack forearm. He lays in some of his own strikes in the corner. Oleg turns things around, ramming Jigsaw’s head into the corner repeatedly. He follows up with a rolling senton for two. Jigsaw catches him with a boot to block a corner attack and hits a missile dropkick. He throws some boots to Oleg’s face. Oleg becomes irritated and gets in some strikes before Jigsaw kicks his leg out. Oleg grabs his onion and Jigsaw smacks it out of his hand! He throws kicks to Oleg’s chest before kicking the onion to the crowd. Oleg cuts off Jigsaw’s run by grabbing his throat. Jigsaw kicks his arm away and double stomps Oleg’s back, sliding into a back senton. He kicks Oleg down to his knees. After some chest kicks, Jigsaw nails a running forearm strike to the chest for two. Jigsaw double stomps Oleg on the back. He misses a top rope double stomp but connects with a superkick. Oleg cuts him off with a Usurper kick. He picks up speed off the ropes before hitting a corner splash. He does it a second and third time, then chokeslams Jigsaw for two. Jigsaw goes outside, but this time Oleg follows with a rolling senton off the apron. Oleg takes him back in the ring, but Jigsaw catches him with a bicycle kick. Oleg hangs on the second rope, allowing Jigsaw to come off the top with a double stomp to the back. Oleg manages to kick out. He uses the ropes to get back to his feet. Jigsaw strings a corner uppercut and enzuigiri together before dropping Oleg with a brainbuster. Oleg kicks out! Jigsaw calls himself the best wrestler CHIKARA has ever produced as he slaps and kicks at Oleg. Oleg catches his foot. He cracks Jigsaw with three forearms before giving him a boot. Oleg goes for a splash but Jigsaw cuts him off with a bicycle kick. The second time, Oleg successfully splashes Jigsaw against the ropes. He tries a modified Air Raid Crash, but Jigsaw slips out into a folding press, pinning Oleg at 11:05. Jigsaw was able to turn the crowd against him, which given how beloved he is and how happy people were to see him return impresses me. He and Oleg had an excellent back and forth match with a solid story that made both competitors look strong. I’m interested to see what’s in store for both men in the long term as they both have potential to do some great things in the back half of 2016. Oleg has been having a quietly successful year and I hope matches like this allow more people to see his talent. ***¼

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Missile Assault Man vs. Icarus

Missile starts by controlling Icarus by his feet, transitioning into a waistlock. He rides Icarus out into a half-nelson, though Icarus is able to get off the mat before a pinfall. Icarus backs Missile to the corner to escape a waistlock and elbows him in the face. Icarus escapes a side headlock but Missile shoulder blocks him down. This happens again, but this time Missile delivers two shoulder blocks, then brings Icarus back down in the mat in a side headlock. Icarus turns it into a headscissors for himself. Missile nips up and reapplies the side headlock. Icarus maneuvers into a backslide, then slaps Missile in the face. After a chop, Icarus dropkicks Missile to the corner for yet another dropkick. He gives Missile a neckbreaker for two, then goes for a crossface. Missile rolls out into a front facelock. He trips Icarus and holds his legs, but Icarus wiggles to the ropes before any submission can be applied. Icarus hits a backcracker for two. Missile misses an uppercut, jamming his shoulder in the corner. Icarus drives his knees into Missile’s arm, then grinds it and twists it up in the ropes. Missile is able to sneak in a schoolboy, but Icarus once again drives his knees into the arm to keep things in his favor. He rolls Missile over looking for a triangle choke. Missile muscles Icarus up, but his hurt arm doesn’t allow for much more. Icarus tries the Wings of Icarus. Missile counters with a trifecta of Northern Lights suplexes, which Icarus is able to kick out of. Missile catches Icarus on the middle rope. He wants the Rocket Launcher but his shoulder gives out. Icarus spits in Missile’s face when Missile slips out of the Blu-Ray. Missile becomes angry and unloads a corner dropkick and uppercuts in the corner. He finishes up with a springboard uppercut, sending Icarus to the floor. Missile follows with a suicide dive. As Missile is getting back in the ring, Icarus kicks the middle rope into his groin behind referee Jon Barber’s back. Icarus hits the Blu Ray for the pin at 13:15. There’s some interesting stuff coming out of this match. Icarus has now defeated the two remaining Battleborn members in singles competition. He also now has 3 points while Hallowicked, his “leader”, is champion. We also saw a potential character shift in Missile with him cracking a smile for the first time. Unfortunately, none of the interesting stuff happened in the confines of the ring itself. They kind of sort of used Missile’s arm to tell a story, but it had no effect on the finish, and they spent a good chunk of the opening match with no rhyme or reason to the action. The wrestling was also rather bland and repetitive, which is a shame since Missile has so much promise. Icarus’ character seems to have really regressed after two hot years, but maybe that’s just me. It just seems like unless he’s in a match with Kingston or a huge multi-man battle he isn’t producing the quality of work he did as Grand Champion or as a Dasher’s Dugout teammate. *

Arctic Rescue Ant comes out to check on Missile whose nursing his shoulder. Missile pushes him away and rolls to the floor.

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Eddie Kingston vs. Jaka

This is a rematch from “Sword of Destiny” almost one year ago to the date. Jakob Hammermeier is in Jaka’s corner. Both men are fired up. Kingston lays in some chops. Jaka ducks the Backfist and headbutts Kingston in the stomach. Kingston rolls outside and Jaka follows with a suicide dive. Jaka delivers a headbutt and rakes Kingston’s back. Jaka wins a chop exchange and grabs a chinlock. Kingston rolls back in and Jakob gives Jaka some words of encouragement. In the ring Jaka digs his knee into Kingston’s face. He gets two with a headbutt and chokes Kingston on the middle rope. He splashes Kingston in the corner for two. Kingston fights out of a nerve hold but is knocked right back down with a thrust to the throat. Jaka unloads with stomps and forearm strikes to the back. On the floor, Jaka is able to reverse Kingston’s vertical suplex attempt. Both men get back in the ring and Jaka immediately goes for a pin. Kingston is able to kick out but takes to the corner. He tries to keep Jaka back by chopping him away. Kingston avoids a corner attack and comes off the second rope with a bulldog. However, it has little effect on Jaka’s hard head, so Kingston unleashes machine gun chops in the corner. He drops Jaka with a rolling fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Jaka ducks a shotgun lariat but succumbs to a belly-to-belly suplex. Kingston dives after Jaka with a plancha suicida. In the ring Jaka is able to block another Backfist and nail a superkick for two. He follows up with the T’Challa kick and a German suplex. Kingston gets his shoulder up just in time. Kingston intercepts Jaka coming off the rope. He gives him a Saito suplex and a lariat for two. Jaka ducks the Backfist. He accelerates off the ropes and headbutts Kingston in the chest. Jaka comes off the top. Mid-Air Kingston catches him with a Backfist. A Saito suplex and the Backfist to the Future only get Kingston a two count! Another Backfist to the Future gets Kingston the win at 11:19.

Kingston demands Jakob to look at him. Jakob refuses. Kingston pummels Jaka, despite referee Troy Nelson demanding he does not. He digs his hands into Jaka’s face. Referee Troy Nelson considers this a foul and decides to reverse the decision and disqualifies Kingston, making Jaka the winner. Kingston had enough points for a Grand Championship opportunity and now is back to zero. Other officials and wrestlers from the locker room try to stop Kingston, but he just continues to beat on Jaka. With Kingston is held back by the staff, Jakob nails him with his Knockout Punch. He then slaps Officer Warren Barksdale and clobbers Argus. Jakob handcuffs Kingston to the ropes. Kingston tells Jakob he better kill him. Jakob throws a series of punches to Kingston. Kingston begs for more, telling Jakob he doesn’t have the heart. Jakob yells to Kingston that he hates him before delivering another Knockout punch. He brings a chair and his crown into the ring. He puts on the crown and sits in the chair. As he walks around the ring, he says all kings possess three characteristics: the heart of lion, the strength of an ox, and the inability to quit. However, every warrior must lay down their sword one day, and that day has come long past due for Kingston. He says Kingston was a great War King, but his time is up. The reign of Hammermeier will last forever. He leaves Kingston with the parting gift of another knockout punch. Two referees free Kingston from the ropes, but the handcuffs still dangle from his arm as he leaves.

Like their first match, Jaka and Kingston had a fun, hard hitting brawl. I appreciated them throwing a little story in with Jaka ducking and dodging the Backfist from the start and that serving as his downfall. Reversing the decision I have conflicting feelings about, but the post match angle was really effective and added heaps of heat onto the issue between Kingston and the BDK. It will be very interesting to see how Kingston vs. Jakob will play out when the playing field is even. ***

Fire Ant is seated backstage when Mike Quackenbush approaches him. Quackenbush says the Nazmaldun business is coming at them from every angle. He’s about to lay out an idea when Fire Ant stops him mid-sentence and tells Quackenbush “I got this.”

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Fire Ant & N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. Hallowicked & The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)

Jaxon schoolboys Kodama in the opening exchange, but Kodama kicks out and delivers a clothesline. Jaxon trips him into a back splash from Rockwell. The two trios square off mid-ring but referee Larry Peace keeps the peace, leaving Rockwell and Obariyon as the legal competitors. Obariyon rakes Rockwell’s eyes and knocks him down with a running shoulder block. Rockwell responds with one of his own. A Lucha exchange between Fire Ant and Hallowicked sees Fire Ant get the better of the Grand Champion, almost getting three when countering a Rydeen Bomb with a prawn hold. The Batiri break up the pin, causing N_R_G to enter the ring, and this time the match breaks down into a six man fight. The Batiri take out N_R_G on the floor so that they, along with Hallowicked, can pick apart Fire Ant in their half of the ring. Fire Ant is able to evade a step-up enzuigiri from Hallowicked, avoid corner attacks from the Batiri, and suicide dive onto Hallowicked, which legally tags in one of N_R_G. Both of them come in however, and Jaxon takes out Obariyon with an Ace Crusher. N_R_G throw punches and deliver stereo enzuigiri’s to Kodama. Jaxon clotheslines Obariyon in the ropes and Rockwell spins him into a powerslam. Hallowicked breaks the pin. Rockwell spears him into the corner and Jaxon follows up with a dropkick. Rockwell Finlay rolls Hallowicked into a top rope elbow drop from Jaxon. Obariyon breaks the pin attempt. Rockwell eats the Skull Bronzing. Jaxon fights off the Batiri but is attacked from behind by Hallowicked. Hallowicked powerbombs Jaxon into double knees to the back from the Batiri. The Baitri suicide dive onto Rockwell. Hallowicked pins Jaxon but only gets two. Hallowicked readies Jaxon for Never Wake Up. Fire Ant dives in to stop Hallowicked’s attempt. Fire Ant throws some shots before sending Hallowicked outside. He slingshots out into a Frankensteiner on the floor! He comes back in with a high crossbody to Kodama and a German suplex to Obariyon. He places Obariyon on the top turnbuckle. Kodama tries to fight Fire Ant off but he suplexes Kodama. Fire Ant then super Frankensteiner’s Obariyon onto Kodama. Fire Ant moonsault blocks into a DDT on Hallowicked for two. The Batiri come in to save Hallowicked from Fire Ant’s onslaught. The Batiri stop his tandem Frankensteiner attempt with a powerbomb. Obariyon knee strikes Fire Ant in the back of the head. He also knee strikes Fire Ant after an atomic drop from Kodama. Jaxon misses a double dropkick and suffers the same fate. The Batiri set up Jaxon for a double superplex. Rockwell takes them down, but Hallowicked hits the ropes so that Jaxon is crotched up top. Rockwell avoids a knee to the face and gives Kodama the Hyperwheel. He also blocks Obariyon’s Rapture and gives him the Hyperwheel. He goes for it on Hallowicked but he slips out. He wants Never Wake Up but Rockwell avoids it. Hallowicked settles for the Rydeen Bomb. Jaxon dives off the top into a boot from Hallowicked. Hallowicked big boots Rockwell off the apron, then drops Jaxon with Never Wake Up. Fire Ant tries to interject but Kodama stops him, giving Hallowicked the pin at 17:50. For the majority of this match, everything was great. The action was hot, the teamwork was top notch, and the crowd dug it. The last few minutes fell apart with some “deer in the headlights” looks from the competitors, as if they were waiting for the right guy to be in the right place before executing the next move. That kind of stuff can take me out of a match. This match did a lot of good in showing that Fire Ant can best Hallowicked when they’re put against each other one on one, which is important given what’s to come. With a tighter finish this would have been even better. ***¼

As The Batiri and Hallowicked are engaged in a post-match seance, Kobald comes to the ring. He breaks up the seance trying to talk some sense into Obariyon and Kodama. Enter UltraMantis Black in a wheelchair. Hallowicked and the Batiri pummel Kobald and bring him ringside to Mantis. Kobald screams “no!” but Mantis puts him under the same spell that the Batiri and Icarus have been put under. His demeanor changes and he pushes Mantis out when Mantis orders Kobald to “return him home.”

Juan Francisco de Coronado says tonight he sees “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti in his rear view window, as that is Angelosetti’s place in life. Coronado with beat Angelosetti within an inch of his life, breaking all the bones in his bodies. Coronado will ride off into the sunset as his step cousin in law watches on, and Angelosetti will stay in his rearview mirror.

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No Disqualification
“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Special Guest Referee: Dasher Hatfield

Coronado shoves Angelosetti away, leading to both men pummeling one another on the mat. Angelosetti shoves Coronado to the floor after a hard clothesline. Back inside Angelosetti tosses Coronado overhead with a leg-capture suplex twice, Back on the floor, Coronado cuts off Angelosetti by pulling up the mats and hitting Angelosetti with them. He then bodyslams Angelosetti on the exposed concrete twice. He sends Angelosetti back first into the ring post, but then both men knock each other down with simultaneous clotheslines. Coronado grabs his flag when they go back into the ring. While Angelosetti is able to tackle him into the corner, Coronado cuts off his final running shoulder tackle by driving the flag into Angelosetti’s throat. He then chokes Angelosetti with the flag pole. Angelosetti turns things around and grabs the flag. He decides against breaking the flag over Coronado’s back, trying to show Hatfield he’s a changed man, and ends up taking an enzuigiri from Coronado. Coronado drags in a piece of the mats from the floor into the ring. He rolls up Angelosetti in the mat rendering him immobile. Coronado legdrops him, then brings out a bag from under the ring. He grabs a pair of scissors and cuts the top turnbuckle off of one of the corners. He unwraps Angelosetti and delivers some forearm shots to the lower back. Angelosetti is able to duck a clothesline and unload a flying clothesline of his own. Angelosetti gives Coronado a running spinebuster, but as they leave the corner, Coronado rips off the turnbuckle pad, exposing that corner. Coronado rolls Angelosetti into the Coronado Clutch. Angelosetti rolls forward, sending Coronado outside. He follows outside and gives Coronado a reverse suplex on the floor. As Angelosetti brings Coronado into the ring Prakash Sabar enters the match. Hatfield puts him out of the ring, but The Proletariat Boar of Moldova sneaks in and Gore’s Angelosetti! It’s only enough to get Coronado a two count. They go to the apron where Coronado tries to German suplex Angelosetti. Angelosetti resists, but Coronado ends up spearing him to the floor! Coronado brings a chair into the ring. Both men fight over it. With neither man getting the chair, they drop it and trade forearm strikes. Angelosetti ducks a chair shot and spikes Coronado with a spinebuster for two. After a small package, Coronado knocks down Angelosetti with a dropkick. With joy, Coronado tries to hit Angelosetti in the back with the chair. He avoids it and goes for the Flea Flicker. Coronado escapes, jabs the chair into Angelosetti’s ribs, then hits him across the back with it. He tells Angelosetti that he is all alone as he cracks him with the chair once again. A third chair shot connects. Coronado follows up all the damage to Angelosetti’s back with a Tiger Driver. Somehow, Angelosetti is able to kick out. Angelosetti ducks a chairshot and the chair ricochet’s off the ropes into Coronado’s face. Angelosetti hits the Flea Flicker for two. Angelosetti goes for a tackle. Coronado drops him face first into the corner with the exposed buckle! Coronado German suplexes Angelosetti five times in a row, but doesn’t keep the bridge. Hatfield checks for a knockout but Angelosetti refuses to stay down. Coronado gives him a piledriver. Not interested in going for a pin, he lifts Angelosetti’s body in the corner, but Angelosetti crumbles. Coronado tells Hatfield to get back when he tries checking on Angelosetti. He tells Hatfield that he will not stop the match. Coronado props up a chair in the corner and sits Angelosetti down so that it’s much easier to drag Angelosetti to the top turnbuckle. He hooks him for a super Tiger Driver, but Angelosetti wills his way out of the double lock. He maneuvers Coronado onto his shoulders and brings him down with the Grand Slam, a staple of Hatfield’s! That gets Angelosetti the pin at 24:23.

I can’t help but be reminded of Angelosetti’s terrific No DQ match with Archibald Peck in February 2013. Like that match, this paid off on all the puzzle pieces laid out in previous matches, as the commentary team did an excellent job of pointing out. While Coronado came off as mean spirited, hell bent on doing harm to Angelosetti, beating him with weapons ad nauseum, Angelosetti never once used a weapon and ended up using Hatfield’s finishing move to win, the move of a man who he has been looking to make amends with since November. A more poetic ending I could not think off. Both Touchdown and Coronado played their roles to perfection. This match gave Coronado his star making performance, and probably the best singles match he’s had since his Grand Championship match with Icarus. This great feud-ending encounter is almost enough for me to forgive some of the more frustrating moments this feud produced. Almost. ****

Dasher Hatfield quickly exits the ring, ignoring the embrace Touchdown attempted to give him.

After the credits, we see Mr. Touchdown leaving the building, holding his lower back in agony as he walks with a rolling suitcase. He opens up the trunk of his car and starts hearing noises behind him. He looks around before putting his bag in the trunk and closing it. He hears more noises as he approaches the driver’s door, but sees nothing and gets into the driver’s seat. He then notices an empty wheelchair in front of his car. From the backseat, UltraMantis Black grabs Angelosetti by his face and the scene fades to black.


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Philadelphia, PA – 8.21.2016

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: Vacant
Young Lions Cup Champion: The Estonian Thunderfrog

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Dasher Hatfield, and Mike Quackenbush.

Missile Assault Man is sitting against the wall backstage. Soldier Ant approaches him and says “we need to talk.”

Hermit Crab’s promo from the 8.19.2016 Event Center is aired.

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Ophidian vs. Hermit Crab

This is a rematch from the Hour of Power two weeks ago where Crab refused to let go of a Half Crab when Ophidian grabbed the ropes. Like last month, Crab shoves Ophidian. Ophidian responds with a bicycle kick, spinwheel kick, and corkscrew enzuigiri. He drives his knees into Crab’s chest, then again from a headstand position. He misses Meteora. Crab rolls him into the Flat Crab. Ophidian gets the ropes and this time Crab releases before the five count. Ophidian throws numerous palm thrusts to the chest and a spin kick to the head. Crab comes back with a backdrop putting pressure on Ophidian’s right leg. Crab drives his knee into Ophidian’s leg. He crab walks across the ring and kicks out Ophidian’s leg. Ophidian backslides Crab and tries a bridge, but gets trapped into a leg lock. Ophidian again gets the ropes. Ophidian kicks Crab to the ropes and tries a small package. Crab blocks and kicks Ophidian in his hurt knee. He tries a crab walk quebrada but misses. Ophidian hits Meteora. He goes for a pin but Crab puts him back in the Flat Crab! Ophidian gets the ropes for a third time. Crab looks for another submission, but Ophidian walks him back and locks him in an Oklahoma Roll for the pin at 5:27! This was a nice payoff to their Hour of Power match. Ophidian went harder and faster than he did in that match, showing more urgency with Crab, and Crab had a strategy in wearing down Ophidian’s leg and going for his pet submission move. It took Ophidian tying him up in a pinning combination to beat him. I said in that match Crab came out looking stronger, and I feel he looked even stronger coming out of this contest. **¼

DUSTIN vs. Zack Sabre, Jr.

DUSTIN is the former Howie Dewitt who is the former Slim Perkins who is the former Rich Mahogany who is the former Stewie Scrivens who is the former Karate Durling who is the former Trent Baretta who is the former Benny Figg who is the former Touch Phillips who is the former Bugg Nevans who is the former Rick Beanbag who is the former Scoot Tatum who is the former Chuck Taylor.

After kicking each others’ arms away in a double knuckle lock, Sabre grabs a cravate. DUSTIN grabs his leg to transition into a potential submission, but Sabre rolls up to his feet before he can. They trade wristlocks to a stalemate. DUSTIN shows up Sabre by keeping him in a courting hold. He tornado rolls Sabre into a toe hold. Sabre pulls DUSTIN down into a wristlock. DUSTIN turns it into a hammerlock. Sabre trips DUSTIN, tying up his legs and adding pressure to his legs and knees. DUSTIN grabs the ropes to stop Sabre. After some ducking and dodging, DUSTIN thinks he has the better of Sabre with a neckdrag, but Sabre is able to grab a wristlock again right after. He gets a quick pin attempt in a lateral press. DUSTIN tries taking him down in a front facelock but Sabre uses his neck strength to escape before it can be applied. DUSTIN takes him down with a toreador, but again Sabre holds onto the wrist. He tries a Gory Special, but Sabre grabs the wrist and stomps it into the mat twice. DUSTIN sends him to the apron after a kick to the stomach. Sabre hits an uppercut, but DUSTIN knocks him to the floor with an enzuigiri. He tries a pescado, but Sabre moves and puts on a Royal Octopus stretch. A word from the referee has Sabre break it. DUSTIN drops him face first on the apron. They trade shots in the corner. DUSTIN catches Sabre in the opposite corner with a German suplex for two. Sabre is able to get the Octopus hold back on. DUSTIN counters with one of his own, twisting up Sabre’s wrist. Sabre sits down on it for a two count. He delivers a penalty kick for two. Sabre nails two uppercuts in the corner. He goes for a third but DUSTIN cuts him off with the Brodie Knee. Sabre puts on a guillotine armbar. DUSTIN counters into a Falcon Arrow for two. Sabre rolls through a double underhook into a British cradle. DUSTIN catches Sabre’s uppercut with a backslide and pins him at 12:26! I loved that the story here was essentially that DUSTIN knew Sabre was a much better wrestler than he was, and that the outcome was never in doubt, and that he surprised Sabre AND himself in victory. You could tell these two were having so much fun and seeing them both back in a CHIKARA ring, for me, was a feel good moment. ***¼

Brendan O’Donnell interviews DUSTIN asking how he feels about the win. DUSTIN says a lot of people call Zack Sabre, Jr. the best wrestler in the world, so that would make him at least second best. Suddenly, Chuck Taylor™ interrupts with a song. He interacts with some fans before making his way over to DUSTIN. Taylor™ gives DUSTIN some backhanded compliments about the match. He says based on their contractual agreement, he owns all of DUSTIN’s old trademark moves and name. He mentions the fine print of the contract but doesn’t specifically says what that fine print entails. He shoos DUSTIN away, sings his new song “Love 40”, and bullies Brendan O’Donnell before heading out.

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Campeonatos de Parejas; Double Elimination Match
N_R_G (Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) vs. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.) vs. Moustache Mountain (Trent Seven & Tyler Bate) vs. The Devastation Corporation (Blaster McMassive & Flex Rumblecrunch)

For a team to be eliminated, both members have to be pinned or submitted. The last team standing will be declared the new Campeones de Parejas. Hijo pokes Jaxon in the eyes. Los Ice Creams work over his left arm in their corner. When Jaxon gets pinched in the buttocks, he overhand chops Jaxon. Hijo kicks him in the leg, but Jaxon recovers with a dropkick. Rockwell tags in and with Jaxon get in some offense on Hijo on the mat. Bate headbutts Rockwell in the stomach and baits him into a knee lift. He drives his foot into Rockwell’s face. Seven slams both members of N_R_G, and then Los Ice Creams on top of them. Seven and Bate slam each other onto the pile. They consider slamming referee Larry Peace, but the Devastation Corporation attack them from behind. N_R_G clothesline the Dev Corp to the floor. Jaxon looks to dive but is cut off by McMassive. Los Ice Creams pitch N_R_G outside. McMassive scares Hijo into Jr.’s arms, then dropkicks the both of them. McMassive teases a dive but instead throws Jaxon into the ring. They bully Jaxon in their corner until he kicks McMassive off the apron and suplexes Rumblecrunch. Seven comes in. Jaxon cuts him off with a kick. Seven blocks his tornado DDT with a suplex. He gives Jaxon a piledriver. Rockwell moves Bate out of the way, but Jaxon and Rockwell collide mid-ring because of this! Seven gives Jaxon another piledriver and pins him at 7:56, because Rockwell can’t make the save. Jaxon goes to superkick Seven, but Seven moves and Jaxon hits Rockwell! Los Ice Creams pitch Jaxon out and Oklahoma roll Rockwell, pinning him at 8:20 and eliminating N_R_G!

McMassive cracks Seven with a big boot. The Dev Corp hit a modified Death Blow but Bate is able to break the cover. Hijo throws Bate into McMassive. He hits Rumblecrunch with the Cold Stone Stunner and then El Asesino for two. Hijo gives Bate the Cold Stone Stunner. He hits Jr. with El Asesino by accident. Bate German suplexes Jr. Moustache Mountain try a double suplex. Jr. slips out and schoolboys Seven for two. Los Ice Creams try a number of pinning combinations, even on themselves once they’re caught up in things. McMassive swings Hijo into Seven. Seven sends McMassive to the apron. Hijo yakuza kicks Seven. Hijo shoves Rumblecrunch to the ropes, knocking McMassive to the floor. Rumblecrunch falls to El Asesino in 11:41! As Los Ice Creams celebrate, Bate crossbody’s and pins both of them at 11:59, but since it was Jr.’s shoulders to the mat, he is the one eliminated. McMassive interjects and sends Bate into the corner as Hijo counters Seven’s piledriver with a backdrop. McMassive hits Hijo with the Black Hole Slam at 12:26, eliminating Los Ice Creams. McMassive and Seven get in a forearm exchange. McMassive ends it with a brainbuster, but Seven gets right up! He German suplexes McMassive. He gives McMassive a running overhand chop and a piledriver. Bate pins McMassive with an Orange Crush Bomb for the pin, elimination of the Devastation Corporation, and the Campeones de Parejas at 13:57! You couldn’t have made the new champions look any stronger, as they pinned at least one member of every team that was eliminated. They got over their tandem finisher and ended the bout by pinning the most dominant team in the company. On top of that, they planted the seeds for an N_R_G split, planted the seeds for Blaster’s ejection next month, and made Los Ice Creams look competent. This was a well orchestrated match and a very fun one at that. ***½

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Team Big Deal (The Big Deal, Sloan Caprice & Rick Roland) vs. The United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado, The Proletariat Boar of Moldova & Prakash Sabar)

This is a rematch from “Back in the Habit.” Tempers flare as the two teams shove one another before the bell. Boar and Roland trade shots to start. Boar hits a big boot against the ropes. He knocks Caprice off the apron. He gets distracted by the Big Deal, and Roland pulls Boar by his tail into a forearm to the back of the head. Caprice tags in. Boar takes him to the UN corner where Sabar unleashes with kicks to the ribs. Sabar uses the ropes for a bulldog. Sabar pulls the Big Deal in the ring by his hair. Boar goes to kick him, but Caprice gets in the way and takes the boot instead. Caprice takes a three person stomping in the UN corner. Caprice comes back with a powerslam to Sabar. With Sabar down, Deal tags in and smacks him repeatedly in the back of the head. He tags Caprice back in when Sabar tries to retaliate. He and Roland pummel Sabar and Deal gets in pin attempts and shots when it suits him. Sabar is able to sneak in an X-Factor on Deal and tag in the Boar. He drops Roland with a sidewalk slam and low bridges the top rope to send him outside. Caprice falls to a triple dropkick. Boar slingshots him in a double blockbuster from Coronado and Sabar for two. Caprice sends Coronado to the floor and kicks Boar and Sabar into a double clothesline from Roland. Roland and Caprice hit the Deal Breaker on Sabar and Boar. Deal sets up for the Tadpole Splash. Coronado cuts him off with a dropkick. He enzuigiri’s Roland and heel kicks Caprice. He takes too much basking in his own pride to notice Team Big Deal has recovered. Roland and Caprice hold Coronado so Deal can spear him to the corner. Roland and Caprice double Beele him out of the corner. Deal gives him a basement clothesline. Boar looks to Gore Deal. Caprice and Roland cut him off with double superkicks. Caprice DDT’s Boar out of a wheelbarrow from Roland. The Big Deal takes the pin at 11:55. This was odd to watch, because I kind of assumed Team Big Deal were Tecnicos after their debut, but they were so clearly the Rudos in this match. It did show that the UN have what it takes to be Tecnicos if that’s a direction CHIKARA is interested in taking. I think Team Big Deal is better off as Rudos anyways, but it was a bit jarring. Action wise, it was slightly better than their match from last month. **¾

Brendan O’Donnell wants a word with Coronado who is not pleased with Sabar or the Boar. O’Donnell asks how he is feeling after the loss. Coronado says he is the only Big Deal in CHIKARA and refuses to let lackey’s hold him down. He tells Sabar and Boar to shape up, because he’s planning to win King of Trios.

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Eddie Kingston vs. Jakob Hammermeier

Kingston attacks Hammermeier before the bell, taking him to the floor where he pummels him around the building. When they get to the ring, Hammermeier kicks the middle rope into Kingston’s groin and cracks him with the World Star Punch. He puts on his crown before pinning Kingston with one foot for two. Kingston attempts to fight back, but Hammermeier digs his fingers into Kingston’s eyes. He gets two with a back suplex. Kingston tries fighting back, but Hammermeier drives his face into his knee. Hammermeier drives his elbow repeatedly into the side of Kingston’s head. Kingston gets in a chop. Hammermeier brings him down with an arm capture stunner. Kingston ducks a World Star punch and dumps Hammermeier with a Saito suplex. Kingston pulls up the mats off the floor. They fight on the apron where Hammermeier gives Kingston a complete shot. In the ring Hammermeier hits Gute Nacht for two. Kingston musters the energy for an elevated DDT. Hammermeier kicks out. Kingston tries a uranage suplex. Hammermeier headbutts Kingston in the shoulder before hitting the Skullcrusher for two. Kingston blocks Hammermeier’s oncoming charge with the Backfist to the Future. Kingston unloads with another and doesn’t let referee Larry Peace check on him. After two Backfists and a flurry of slaps to Hammermeier, Larry Peace calls for the bell at 8:43, awarding the match to Kingston via Knockout. Kingston brings out a bag from the back with handcuffs and cuffs Hammermeier to the ropes. He tells Hammermeier that he asked for this kind of treatment and claims he is the only King in CHIKARA. Kingston pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts Hammermeier’s hair! He shaves the top of his head with a razor, making a skullet. He laughs at Hammermeier before giving him one last Backfist. Given how incensed Kingston had become, I’m glad this match was executed in this manner. Kingston got comeuppance for everything Hammermeier did to him, erased the one point Hammermeier cheaply earned by pinning him, and humiliated Hammermeier just like Hammermeier did to him in June. The bulk of the match was just them exchanging heavy shots, which was fine by me since it fit the narrative. A good way for this feud to be concluded. **¾

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Hallowicked, Frightmare, Icarus, Mark Angelosetti & The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald) vs. The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Worker Ant), Amasis, Arctic Rescue Ant, Missile Assault Man & Pinkie Sanchez

Sanchez is wearing his old BDK Pink Ant mask (and of course, he was the former Carpenter Ant) while Amasis is in his Pharaoh Ant attire from King of Trios 2015. Missile wore his Missile Assault Ant mask to the ring but did not wrestle in it. The match starts with a seven on seven brawl around ringside. In the ring Soldier Ant hits a back elbow off the second rope on Icarus. Hallowicked forearm strikes Soldier Ant from the floor, then gives him shoulder blocks in the corner. Soldier Ant fights back and both men end up back on the floor with the rest of the chaos. Back in the ring, Arctic sunset flips Hallowicked for two. Hallowicked pops him up into Go 2 Sleepy Hollow for two. Fire Ant stands up to Hallowicked but is quickly attacked by Obariyon and Kodama. Fire Ant is able to take them over with a double Frankensteiner. He suplexes Kodama and whips Obariyon to the corner. He and Soldier Ant give Obariyon an atomic drop/dropkick combo. Fire Ant drops multiple senton splashes before Soldier Ant hits a falling headbutt. Kobald spears both Fire and Soldier Ant. Missile bicycle kicks Kobald. Kobald tosses Missile out after Missile gives him some uppercuts. Sanchez dragonscrew leg whips Kobald thrice. He strings a corner spinwheel kick and a running bulldog together. The Shiney Hiney sends Kobald to the floor. Angelosetti drills Sanchez with a spinebuster. He slingshots Amasis into a backbreaker. He then slingshots Worker Ant into the ring. Worker Ant takes Angelosetti down with an armdrag. Angelosetti tosses him to the apron. Worker Ant helps Amasis with a spin-out Complete Shot. Frightmare knocks Worker and Soldier Ant off the apron before pounding on Amasis’ back. He blasts Amasis with a pair of yakuza kicks and gets two with Kneecolepsy. Nazmaldun’s Army beats down Amasis until he slips out of the ring after a Death Valley Driver from Kobald. Missile takes Kobald out with a running uppercut. Icarus cuts Missile off with a spear. Worker Ant knocks him down with a rolling clothesline. Kodama spinwheel kicks Worker Ant to the floor. Soldier Ant gives Kodama a discus forearm, but Obariyon immediately flies in with the Rapture. Sanchez takes down Obariyon with Snake’s Revenge, only for Angelosetti to swoop in with the Flea Flicker into a lungblower. Angelosetti avoids Hot Soup but falls to a cascading Yoshi Tonic for a nearfall. He, Soldier Ant, and Worker Ant set up for Ants Marching. Kobald breaks it up. Angelosetti goes for the Colossal Bomb but Fire Ant counters mid-air with a DDT for two. Icarus goes for a chair shot from the stage, but Silver Ant with his arm in a sling stops him. Icarus knocks Silver Ant off the stage. Fire Ant yanks Icarus to the top turnbuckle. However, Icarus knocks him down. Icarus goes for a top rope dropkick, but Arctic jumps in front to take it! Fire Ant cracks Icarus with a Yahtzee Kick and gives him a brainbuster for two. The Ants jump in as the other Nazmaldun Army members try interfering and take them out. This leads to all seven Ants hitting a huge Ants Marching dropkick on Nazmaldun’s Army. We get dives from every Ant, ending with a tope con hilo from Fire Ant. UltraMantis Black holds Fire Ant’s leg as he tries to re-enter the ring. Hallowicked gives Fire Ant a super snapmare. He tries for Never Wake Up but Missile makes the save! Hallowicked yakuza kicks him. Missile uppercuts out of a Never Wake Up attempt, screaming “Missile Assault Ant!” Hallowicked slides out. Angelosetti comes in from behind and hits the Colossal Bomb on Missile for the pin at 16:08. This was action packed, intense, and emotional. It was awesome seeing all the different Ants interact with one another, let alone to see them in one place. This felt like a war and showed that with the right numbers, Nazmaldun’s Army is possible to be dealt with, while continuing to establish the Colossal Bomb as Angelosetti’s new be-all-end-all finisher. This was a good time. ***¼

Brendan O’Donnell interviews Hallowicked. He says that Nazmaldun has commanded him to enter into the King of Trios, captaining a team of his two most vicious and ferocious followers. Along with the Batiri, they represent Nazmaldun’s ever growing strength in the tournament. If all goes according to plan, every team in the 2017 Trios tournament will bear Nazmaldun’s mark.

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Princess Kimberlee vs. Heidi Lovelace

The winner of this match will have three points and a shot at the Grand Championship. The two women charge at the bell with stereo running forearm strikes. Lovelace ends a chop exchange with an STO. Kimberlee reverses an Irish whip and kicks Lovelace in the side of the head. Lovelace fires up with forearms in the corner. They each hit a running forearm strike in opposite corners. Lovelace traps Kimberlee’s foot in the ropes and kicks at it. Lovelace works over the leg on the mat. Although Kimberlee is able to get some chops in, her leg crumples underneath her when she goes for the ropes. Lovelace pulls up on the back of Kimberlee’s leg to apply pressure. Although Kimberlee fights her off, Lovelace simply kicks her leg out to maintain the advantage. She drives Kimberlee’s knee into the mat repeatedly. Kimberlee utilizes one of Lovelace’s pet moves, using her legs to drive Lovelace face first into the middle turnbuckle. Lovelace throws some leg kicks. Kimberlee responds with kicks from her good leg, including a roundhouse kick. A couple of clotheslines take down Lovelace for a two count. After a palm strike, Lovelace tries a back handspring maneuver. Kimberlee catches her on the rebound with a German suplex for two. Kimberlee drops her with a tombstone for two. Kimberlee carefully gets to the second rope. Lovelace palm strikes Kimberlee again to halt her. She sets up for the super Frankensteiner, but Kimberlee counters with a super powerbomb! When Lovelace kicks out, Kimberlee locks on the Coronation, a modified bow and arrow stretch which she used to defeat Lovelace in March. Lovelace manages to grab the ropes to escape. She dumps Kimberlee on her head with five Saito suplexes. Kimberlee fires up. Lovelace gives her a knee strike, a superkick, a standing enzuigiri, and the Heidi-Can-Rana for two! Lovelace comes off the top with a senton splash. Kimberlee kicks out, but Lovelace locks on the CHIKARA Special. Kimberlee taps at 11:32! I think the story in this match was stronger than their match from March, mostly because they left the “friendship” stuff aside and just beat each other up. That said, Heidi aping Kimberlee’s move was a nice touch. You could feel how important it was for each of them to win, with Kimberlee wanting to get her title back, and Heidi wanting to validate herself and get another shot at the gold. The story with Kimberlee’s leg was executed well, as was the call back to the finish of their prior match. Part of me questioned this being the main event, with a big title match and the Nazmaldun’s Army vs. Ants story, but this fit the main event billing just fine. ***½

Encore Match
Lucas Calhoun vs. Wani

Calhoun mimics some of his karate moves. Wani does the same. Calhoun eventually stomps on Wani’s foot. Wani responds with a boot to the face. He knocks down Calhoun again with a running back elbow. Calhoun’s karate offense is cut off with a knee to the stomach. Calhoun catches Wani with a kick and jumping knee, but Wani ducks the enzuigiri. Calhoun avoids a running shoulder block, sending Wani shoulder first into the corner. Calhoun Judo throws Wani by his shoulder down into a single footed pin for the victory at 3:40. The karate stuff was cute, and it looks as if they’re finally nailing down Calhoun as a Tecnico. After a fairly heavy show, a light-hearted encore was the way to go. *

8.0
The final score: review Very Good
The 411
Tightrope features one of the best CHIKARA matches of the year, and the Network Special is really solid overall. To me, for physical media types, this set is a no brainer. If you're watching on CHIKARAtopia, I'd make sure to watch the main event of Tightrope, and the entire Network Special. Both shows are available to watch on CHIKARATopia, CHIKARA's streaming service which is $7.99 a month and comes with a free 7 day trial. You can purchase both shows together on DVD or Blu-Ray from CHIKARA's store. You can purchase Tightrope on mp4/VOD here and No One's First, And You're Next on mp4/VOD here, as well as options to purchase individual matches.
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