411’s Holy Foley! Review: 1.3 – ‘Whatever It Takes’

411’s Holy Foley! Report 1.3- ‘Whatever It Takes’

-When we last left the Foley Clan, Mick had changed his mind on letting his daughter wrestle, and also realized that Dewey needed to make it on his own with his budding career as part of WWE Creative.

-We start with Noelle doing some in ring training and Mick offering some advice. It seems she is suffering from the same thing Sara (last year’s Tough Enough Winner) did: namely smiling while performing in the ring. After a headlock sequence Noelle is blown up and tells her trainer she is tired, and Mick isn’t too thrilled to hear that. Her trainer makes her run the ropes and she is gassed. Mick tells her that she has the “it factor” that can’t be taught, but it won’t mean anything if she is out of shape. He tells her that she is representing the Foley name and he is going to be brutally honest. In his opinion, she isn’t even anywhere close to being ready.

-It is the return of our favorite part time clown, Frank. He and Noelle are traveling in a car as they start to talk about their relationship. Frank brings up how he would never have plastic animals on his lawn, and Noelle jumps all over that as she is ready to live together. For Frank he feels it is necessary to have a good relationship with her father, and Noelle says they should probably tell her mom first. Frank agrees that they should go house hunting.

-Back to the house and we actually see the other kids as Mick wants to test out some of his new stand up material. Great! We get a brief overview of his one man show, and then Mick proceeds to tell some horrible jokes. His kids don’t even get the references and tell him nobody is going to get them either. So far all the jokes are at the expense of the Miz and Mick better watch or Miz will “shoot” on him. Mick seems annoyed that his kids aren’t enjoying the jokes, so he heads to his Christmas room. We get some footage of Mick at his one man show and he makes the following joke: “What is the difference between The Miz and the 100 Years War? At some point you know the 100 Years War is going to be over.” Nice!

-To the Christmas Room and Mick is still making Miz jokes: “How many Miz fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Both of them.” His good time is interrupted by Noelle who wants to talk about what her father said to her in the gym. He didn’t want to be tough on her, but the women in WWE are in phenomenal shape and she has a ways to get there. She says she will work hard to get there and she wants her dad to start eating healthy with her. She also wants him to start working out with her. Mick agrees and tells Noelle to go out shopping for some healthy food. Seemingly, Mick is going to miss pizza the most as he compares it to sex in that even when it is bad, it is still good. Noelle tosses in a “brother” as she finishes talking to her dad which makes me happy.

-It just so happens that when Noelle comes back with the healthy food the other 2 boys are baking cookies. Frank is here as well, and they get Hughie and Mickey to try some rice cakes. They aren’t all that thrilled with the food, but can tolerate the rice cakes since they don’t have any flavor.

-We get out first big time cameo as DDP shows up and clearly we are getting DDP Yoga plugs the rest of the way. Noelle says she likes DDP Yoga but she doesn’t feel anything and Mick tells her to never disrespect DDP Yoga while under his roof. He compares DDP Yoga to a horror movie as it will just sneak up on you and BANG! DDP tries to get her fired up and wants her to scream and it sounds rather pathetic. Mick compares it to a kitten’s meow and says it was the sound of a career slowly dying. Heh! DDP has her finish with “Feel The Bang” and Mick says he is not comfortable with that terminology since Frank is here. See, he is horrified by the idea of his daughter having not only sex, but feeling THE BANG from a part time clown. Perhaps if he was a full time clown?

-Speaking of Frank, he is hanging out with Collete in the dining room as she folds laundry. Just a reason for Frank to see Noelle’s panties as Collete jokes that he has probably seen them already. She tells us that they have been dating a few years and Frank has told her that he loves Noelle. Because of that Collete says she wants to like Frank a little bit more. They have a heart to heart while folding laundry, and the key point is that Frank wants some advice on how to bond with Mr. Foley. Collete says that Mick is a guy and that if who have the right assets (big tits apparently) then you can persuade him and thus Frank is screwed. She asks Frank how he plans on supporting their daughter, and he goes over his past as he has worked at Hooter’s (perhaps if he could get Mick a job at Hooter’s he would be gold?) and lets slip that he was never involved in illegal gambling, but apparently some of the legal kind. Collete thinks they need to run a background check. Seems kind of later for that since they have already been together for a few years, but, I guess they didn’t have content to fill on a reality show back then.

-Now Noelle have a surprise as she takes to her dad to a Cryology building. Apparently they are going to be using a Cryo Sauna. For Mick he is having flashbacks to the movie ‘The Fly.’ Mick is horrified that he has to get naked to get inside the machine and jokes that his wife hasn’t even seen him without clothes since ’97. Okay, that made me laugh. Mick gets inside the sauna and takes off his rope and it is all rather amusing. Now this is what I want out of my reality shows if I am watching. Put them in crazy situations where they have to react (like when the Hogan family had a voodoo lady come by to kill the spirits in their house and Hogan was going around chanting “6 Pac.). Mick sings while in the sauna about how cold (-250) and says to the camera while sitting with his daughter that it was so cold his genitalia started to retract back inside him. Eww! He says it wasn’t a great experience as apparently they freeze you to heal you. Noelle is next and she makes jokes about her nips being so hard they could cut glass! They bond over the experience by the end.

-Back to the training as Noelle says she has a long way to go. She thinks that her cardio is already getting better, and Mick wants to show her more, but she says she has to meet her friend. “There’s no canceling in wrestling,” pines Mick. He thinks she is craving some pizza and is cheating on her diet. So he is going to react like any rational father: He is going to follow her and he takes her trainer with him. Apparently she is going on a rather lengthy trip, and Dan makes the mistake of saying that Noelle “is getting off” when talking about her exiting the main road. This upsets Mick as he never wants to hear about his daughter getting off. Yeah! They end up in a residential area, and it becomes clear that here and Frank are house shopping. Dan can relate as she wants to be independent and Mick asks how many kids he has raised. The answer is none. Mick wants to go in and confront them, but opts to wait.

-Dinner time at the house and Mick wants to get the truth out in the open. He brings up that Noelle bailed out of training an hour early and wants to know why. She eventually admits that she was longing for a place to rent with Frank and is mad that her father followed her like a creeper. Collete is angry at both of them and Mick says he was worried she was trying to eat pizza. Mick says that he isn’t as mad about the idea of wanting her own place, but more that she blew off training and lied about what she was doing. Mick ends dinner by saying he has to prepare for his show.

-Dan Barry, besides being a trainer, is also a stand up comic and we get to see a bit of his act before bringing Mick on stage. He does a good job of warming up the crowd for Mick and the crowd is jacked to see him. It just so happens that not only is the entire Foley family there, but so is Frank in full clown garb. Mick tells a story of how much weight he has lost and that he even took a selfie without a shirt (which they show and yes, Mick does look better). His son told him that he almost looks as good as Bo Dallas which saddens Mick. Foley then goes through his Miz jokes and the crowd is dead quiet as even Santa (who Mick invites) can’t be bothered to laugh. Next joke “When Hacksaw Jim Duggan and The Iron Sheik are in a car, who is driving? A police officer.” Crickets! Mick panics and decides to bring Noelle up on stage and points out Frank. He wins the crowd over by mocking Frank, and he is happy that Frank is here now. Frank laughs at the jokes as well and Mick is happy that Frank has a sense of humor about the whole ordeal. Noelle mentions she loves Frank and that nearly kills Mick as he says that she ruined things now.

-That’s how this one ends and next time we get a guest appearance by Ric Flair!

-This was probably my favorite episode so far if only because there were a few moments that had me laughing. I am kind of bummed that Dewey has seemingly fallen off a cliff since getting the job at Titan Towers, but the other boys at least got a little screen time.