411’s OVW/HWA Recap Extravaganza 11.13.06
Sorry about the lateness, folks. It’s been a long week and something had to suffer…hopefully next week we’ll be back at the usual time but I can’t make any promises for sure. What I can promise is that we’ve got plenty of wrestling on the docket today, so let’s get it started!
Ohio Valley Wrestling
Backstage Deuce & Domino are demanding a title shot and Cody Runnels & Shawn Spears agree to it while people hold them back. Cherry is on the line!
Dean “King of the” Hill & Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin run down today’s card.
Sosay introduces OVW’s very first drink-off. Joey Mercury has arrived, and finally “Fearless” Jack Bull stumbles in with a prostitute. He pays her off with pennies! The drink of choice: Kentucky Moonshine. Mercury wants double of what Bull has in his cup, but pours it in a plastic plant while Bull coughs it up. He wants another!
Match 1: Devon Driscoll vs. El Aero Fuegeo
The winner of this will be #1 contender for the OVW TV title. Handshake to start things, Fuegeo rolls up Driscoll for 2, Driscoll does the same. Shoulderblock by Driscoll gets 1. Shoulderblock by Fuegeo, followed by a monkey flip and a standing hip toss, Fuegeo goes upstairs and misses the Mexican Jam. Driscoll with a variation of the Gory Special, Fuegeo gets out with an arm drag, Driscoll reverses a flying headscissors into a sidewalk slam for 2. Driscoll keeps covering Fuegeo but does not get the pinfall. Dropkick and a back body drop by Fuegeo, jumping enziguri gets a 2 count. Feugeo’s getting frustrated now…he sets Driscoll up, off the top with a spinning back kick, it gets the 3 count! Fuegeo is now the #1 contender and will be facing Charles “The Hammer” Evans very soon…
Speaking of which, Evans confronts Fuegeo backstage…he takes him into Danny Davis’s office and claims that Feugeo is actually Seth Skyfire. Unfortunately, Skyfire happens to be in Davis’s office. Foiled again!
We’re back at the drink-off, and Bull is still putting away that Kentucky Moonshine! Mercury is still pouring his out in the plant while selling the pain of the Moonshine. Apparently Bull’s mother was a big fan of the moonshine during her pregnancy, which explains a lot.
OVW Women’s Title Match: Champion Katie Lea vs. Serena
Katie went to the trouble of personalizing her title belt, hopefully she doesn’t lose it this quickly…Katie with a top wristlock early on, Serena rolls into a La Magistral for 2, botches a rollup for 2 while Bolin speculates that she might be expecting. What she’s expecting I’m not quite sure…forearms back and forth, arm drags by Serena, into the corner, monkey flip! Serena misses the spear, Katie rolls her up for 2, backslide gets 2, Serena misses a bodypress off the second rope, cover gets 1, Katie with a variation of the abdominal stretch, Serena fights out, closed fists, knee lift, into the corner, Serena with the crossbody off the second rope gets 2. Here comes Beth Phoenix! She’s all over Serena and the referee calls for the bell. Katie’s not too happy about that and chases her out of the ring. Talk about a three-way I wouldn’t mind being in the middle of…
And we’re back to the drink-off…Bull says “Jercury” couldn’t drink…ah, who the hell knows what he’s saying anymore. Just another night out in the Kentuckiana area.
It’s the Wick’s Pizza Party Zone! Nice chairs.
Hill & Bolin discuss the situation between Jacon Duncan and Chet the Jet…here comes Chet wearing even more tape than last week. Dean tells Chet that he shouldn’t be wrestling, but Chet takes the microphone and calls out Duncan. Luckily for OVW he doesn’t hold them responsible for his idiocy. Three referees come out to talk to Chet while Duncan’s awesome entrance music plays. Duncan seems ok with this…
OVW Title Match: Champion Jacob Duncan vs. Chet the Jet
Duncan works Chet over early on, punching away on the taped areas of Chet. Slam by Duncan, Chet fights out of the chokeslam attempt, but Duncan hits a big boot to the gut of Chet. Another choke attempt, Chet accidentally hits the ref and then kicks Duncan in the groin a la Tom Dempsey! Chet tries a big boot, it’s fought off and Duncan hits a full nelson slam for the three count. Good on Duncan for using the same entrance music that Terry Funk used in 1989 WCW, it kicks ass and makes my opinion of him go up.
Back at the drink-off, Bull’s hit his second wind and is toasting Joey. He’s one of those friendly drunks, isn’t he?
Match 4: Chris Rombola vs. Mike Kruel
Officially Rombola is facing “one of the members of Bad Company”…after much confusion we find out it’ll be Mike Kruel…no, it’s Eddie Kraven…no, it’s Sean Osbourne…no it’s Kruel who attacks from behind. Sean Osbourne sings along to his entrance music, which is always a good way to get over. Just ask Heidenreich. Rombola dominates early with forearms, Kruel distracts the ref while Kraven & Osbourne trip up Rombola and post him! I’ve always wondered how they take nut shots and it doesn’t hurt…ASK 411! Kruel covers for a 2 count. Kruel with a rear chinlock, then a big clothesline off the ropes gets 2. Rombola’s brief attempts to fight back aren’t going so well. Another rear chinlock by Kruel, Rombola fights back, head into the corner, Rombola fights back again with flipper forearms, then a belly to belly throw gets the 3 count for Rombola! He wins a 3 on 1 beatdown by Bad Company! Hooray for him! Osbourne teases a brass knucks shot until High Dosage clears the ring.
Bull & Mercury hug…how touching. Uh oh, Sosay sees Mercury watering the plants with the moonshine! Mercury is disqualified and Bull wins! Bull calls him a jerk and Mercury starts beating him down. That’s usually how drink-offs in Kentucky end, somebody catching the wrong end of a beatdown.
Match 5: Pat Buck vs. Paul Burchill
Buck is accompanied by his entourage, but I don’t think they’ll be of much help against Burchill. Buck does get some shots in on Burchill, but not for long. Burchill chokes Buck and then introduces Buck’s head to his knee and the turnbuckle, big shoulderblock in the corner, punch to the gut, knee drops, elbow drop, punches in the corner, it’s all Burchill right now. Shoulderblocks in the corner, Burchill misses in the corner and Burk fights back for a few seconds, which is more than I expected. Woah, back body drop by Buck! Oh, never mind. Clothesline by Burchill, and a jumping neckbreaker finishes off Platinum Pat.
OVW Southern Tag Team Title Match: Champions Cody Runnels & Shawn Spears vs. Deuce & Domino
The winners get the tag team titles and Cherry…lots of implications here. I’m not sure why she insists on wearing those roller skates all the time, especially since it makes climbing up stuff difficult. Deuce & Domino attack on the outside and it’s a Pier 4 brawl to start. Runnels & Deuce start it off in the ring, Spears tags in and hits a neckbreaker for 2. Deuce & Domino get the advantage, Deuce with a double underhook suplex for 2, Spears makes the tag, double hip toss on Deuce gets 2. Drop toe hold into a kneedrop gets a 1 count. Runnels & Spears continue double teaming people while Kenny Bolin gets himself in more trouble with the Kentuckiana female population. Deuce with a back breaker on Spears, the referee misses the count. Deuce & Domino dominate while we go to commercial…
They continued dominating Spears during the commercial break. Domino keeps covering Spears but doesn’t quite get the 3. Camel clutch by Domino, Deuce tags in, Spears gets out of a slam but still can’t get over to his corner. Elbow drop by Domino gets 2. Deuce with a rear chinlock, and apparently Kenny Bolin’s mother is out on the streets somewhere. Spears finally makes the tag and Runnels is funky like a monkey. Where have I seen that before? Slams all around, bulldog for Deuce, pinfall broken up by Domino and it’s all broken down now. Flapjack on Domino, Runnels goes up top for a Golden Lasso attempt but gets crotched on the top rope. Spears gets tossed out, Deuce with the roll of the dice on Runnels, it only gets 2! Domino gets crotched, Deuce gets rolled up for a 2 count! Deuce & Domino scream at Cherry, wanting her skate, but Runnels & Spears recover, there’s the Golden Lasso for the 3 count! Runnels & Spears retain their titles and win Cherry! She raises their arms and now they’ll have to figure out who gets the first shot!
At what? I can’t talk about it, this is a family website.
We start the show with some interesting news…there is some controversy regarding the TV title division because Dr. Bones has been fired and Tack has been suspended. Why? Who knows! Sami Calihan & Tarek the Great come out because they’re part of some tournament they’re doing. Right now we get a 4-way match for the TV title…
HWA TV Title Match: Champion JT Stahr vs. Gotti vs. Tarek the Great vs. Scotty Murray
Chris Kurtis explains the points system, but really I still have no idea what that’s about. Gotti pins JT Stahr for the title. Interesting graphic for the finishing move. *scratches head*
I really hope the rest of this is easier to understand.
Match 2: Ganger vs. Sam Calihan
Brock Guffman cuts a promo before the match about how they get no respect and nobody cares about personal hygene. Why does Ganger have eyes tattooed on his back? Who thought that was a good idea? He talks about some backstage nonsense and eventually we get a match out of this.I don’t get how Ganger is supposed to look like Shrek. The HWA Executive Assistant comes out and books a match between Ganger & Scotty Murray in a Shrek Mask on a pole match. The loser will wear the mask for 30 days Who’s booking this, Russo? Calihan stomps on a Shrek doll. Clotheslines and elbows by Calihan, followed by a dropkick. Umaga butt splash in the corner, Brock Guffman holds Calihan’s leg while Ganger clotheslines him. Big clothesline by Ganger. Calihan boots him in the corner, goes up top, cross body gets 2. Calihan misses an attempted lionsault, Ganger puts him in some sort of submission hold and gets the win.
After the match, Pepper Parks comes out and yells at Calihan for what he did last week to Dick Rick and tapping out to Shrek. Parks starts beating down Calihan. Here comes Chad Collyer, and he wonders what’s going on with the Crew. He wants to force Parks out of the HWA, Parks says he’ll do a career vs. title match tonight.
Match 3: Matt Stryker vs. Ed Gonzalez
Oh joy, a Matt Stryker match. He seems a little bigger than the last time I saw him. Stomps to the hands by Stryker. Face rake by Gonzalez, chops in the corner, Stryker fights back with a big chop. Boot scrapes in the corner by Stryker, Gonzalez with a variation of the play of the day for a two count. Gonzalez with a monkey flip, Striker slams him with a Michinoku Driver and follows up with the skullfuck! Curb stomp by Stryker finishes it.
The lights go out and we see a video of 3 of the 5 most wanted…apparently Matt Stryker is wanted for impersonating a wrestler. Sean Casey calls up Stryker’s wife. Ummmmmm……yeah.
Tim Tatum is back in the ring and brings out Tack. I thought he was suspended? Well, if he loses this match, he’s fired…
Match 4: Tack vs. Rory Fox
Ah, it’s old “Rapid Delivery”, some of you may remember him from the MTV special “True Life: I Want to be a Professional Wrestler”. Series of reversals to start things, hip toss by Tack, Rory seems to be moving a bit slow, it’s been awhile since he’s been in an HWA ring. Fox headscissors Tack outside and does a plancha over the top. Fox up top, Tack hits him, clothesline off the ropes gets 2. Chop by Tack, he puts Fox up top, hits a neckbreaker but Fox has his arm on the ropes. Chops by Fox, Tack with an elbow off the rope, nice suplex by Tack gets 2, camel clutch by Tack into a rear chinlock, Fox fights out but Tack still has the advantage. Kick to the back followed by a rear chinlock. Fox fights out, hip toss but Tack kicks Fox. Another rear chinlock by Tack, forearms back and forth, Fox clotheslines Tack off the middle rope, Tack misses a corner charge, Fox hits an Edgeomatic, follows up with punches, nice dropkick gets a 2 count. Fox with an elbow off the middle rope for 2. Tack hits the Devil Driver and gets the 3 count on Fox. He will be staying around, but will Pepper Parks?
Match 5: The Mavericks vs. Foreign Intelligence
Hooks does the hard sell for voting for Maverick Alan Wasylychyn for PWI rookie of the year, and he looks good early against Ala Hussein. Williams with an elbow off the top rope. Foreign Intelligence gets the advantage on Wasylychyn thanks to Quentin Lee’s wrist tape. Aaron Williams eventually gets the hot tag, a backslide on Lee doesn’t work, the Mavericks collide in the corner, FI hits the WMD and Foreign Intelligence gets the win.
HWA Title vs. Career: Champion Chad Collyer vs. Pepper Parks
Series of reversals early, both men trade the advantage back and forth. Collyer kicks him in the corner, european uppercuts by Collyer, kicks by Parks, Collyer with a dropkick for 2. Parks blocks the vertical suplex and hits one of this own. Elbow by Collyer, followed up by a stump puller into a bridge for a 2 count. Back suplex by Collyer, Parks fights back, body slam followed up by a legdrop gets 2. Backdrop by Collyer, Collyer applies the code red armbar to Parks, Parks eventually gets to the ropes and stomps Collyer. Rake to the eyes by Parks, Collyer pulls him outside, they fight on the floor, back in the ring and Parks has the advantage. Stomp to Collyer’s hand followed by the Vulcan Death Grip into a rear chinlock. Leg lariat by Collyer. Collyer punches away on Parks, crossbody gets a 2 count. Collyer with a hurricanrana for 2, Parks reverses with a rollup for 2, Collyer goes for the Texas Cloverleaf and gets it, but Parks gets to the ropes. Parks gets a chain behind the ref’s back, misses the first swing, Collyer goes for a back suplex, Parks hits him with the chain and takes out the referee! Referee counts and it’s only a 2 count! Parks is frustrated, he goes up top probably for his finisher, he misses the collar popper! Collyer with a german suplex, but it only gets 2! Recliner pin by Collyer gets 2! Series of rollups now, nobody gets the pin. Chops by Collyer, he tries a sunset flip, Parks reaches into his tights, pulls the chain out and hits Collyer! The referee didn’t see it, there’s a three count and there’s a new HWA Champion! Tim Tatum makes it official, but he makes a rematch between Parks & Collyer on November 18th in a 2 out of 3 falls match!
Final Thoughts: HWA started out pretty weak, but the Collyer/Parks match was solid wrestling for the most part. Usually if you can get one good match in an hour it’s a good show, so I don’t have too many complaints this week. That beginning was confusing as fuck though.
OVW keeps on keeping on, their angles are all progressing pretty well for the most part. And for once there wasn’t a title change, which can be a good thing because when they change hands too often it’s hard to keep track of who has them.
Until next time, keep your stick on the ice.