411’s TNA Impact Report 2.16.17
On this episode we have the bachelorette party for Laurel Van Ness as she prepares to marry her dream hubby, Braxton Sutter. Wedding bells will happen next week. Also, last week Davey Richards destroyed the American Wolves, ending his partnership with Eddie Edwards. Wolves 2008-2017.
And now Angelina Love has declared Davey is out of Eddie’s shadow! What will happen tonight as Eddie and Alisha will react to the destruction they suffered.
Also, Lashley remains on top, is there anyone who can challenge the Destroyer? All this and more, welcome everyone to Impact Wrestling. My name is Aaron, join the TNAlisters in the comments for Impact Wrestling! But first, a day in the life of your favorite KO, Allie!
Brandi Rhodes & Moose vs Decay
Steve starts with Moose, and runs circles around him but gets knocked on his ass numerous times. He gets the advantage por a distractione from Rosemary. Steve completes control but Moose comes back with chops and attacks, and Abyss interferes again and again to tip the scales back towards the balance of Decay.
Madison Rayne is on commentary and she talks about Brandi naming herself Mini Moose as MOOSE ONE ARM POWERBOMBS STEVE OUTSIDE TO ABYSS!
Brandi comes in and attacks Rosemary! Chops and Strikes, Brandi to the second rope she aims the missile off the second after a Moose Taunt! Moose and Mini Moose do the series of Moose Punches and GAME CHANGERS. They won!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Moose & Mini Moose, 5:43, Game Changers
Eddie Edwards storms in and tells the camera man to get the fuck out of his way he’s looking for Richards.
“Force of Nature” kicks up over the PA System as Eddie Edwards rushes out to the ring. He says his brother, his best friend, his tag team partner attacked his wife. He calls out Davey to take his ass whuppin like a man!
Angelina Love walks out and tells Eddie Davey comes when SHE says he does. She announces “The American Wolf” who enters and promptly takes credit for the entire tag reign. Eddie tells Angelina to take Davey’s balls out of her purse and they run to brawling!
Security pulls them apart and Eddie rushes into the ring, he challenges Davey to an “Anything Goes Street Fight!” for later on tonight.
Cut to Mike Bennett throwing Braxton Sutter a bachelor party with plenty of orange light. Braxton doesn’t know who anyone is. Mike says there’s a few guys who drink a lot, they do drugs and yells as this raucous crowd drink beer and go nuts. Braxton is not a happy panda.
In Tijuana, Matt and Jeff Hardy are rambling around, yelling at random people, demanding a tag team title shot against the Mexican Tag Champs of the World. They enter an arena in Mexico, Crash, and we show previews of the Expedition of Gold as well as Konnan trying to make a buck off the Hardys.
Laurel’s Bachlorette Party Part 1
Allie has set up a wonderful spread, with dangly things and hearts everywhere. The Lady Squad arrive and they immediately mock Allie. Maria runs her down, telling her this is Laurel’s party.
Kingston vs Jesse Godderz
Brawl to start as Kingston eggs him on, into the ropes and Eddie with the chop to the Pectaculars, takes a Dropkick!
Jesse for the cover quick kickout!
Godderz with a kneelift in the corner, hiptoss, whip reversal, short arm and suplex by Kingston!
The DCC’s own Kingston wraps fists into the face, takes some shots, absorbs them and fires back with a rake to the face. Kingston works Godderz around the ring like a maniac but always stays in control.
STO from Kingston!
Jesse makes his way to the ropes and leaps off the top, springboard clothesline and he gets the pin!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Godderz a 4:22, Springboard Clothesline
The lights go off and the DCC are in the ring! Jesse is on the ramp, and he wisely avoids the beatdown. Maybe he’s found the way to beat them.
Cut to Braxton’s bachelor party, as some drug guy gets splashed by another guy. Fun.
Tyrus says Fact of Life with… Tyrus? Is coming up next.
Laurel’s Bachlorette Party Part 2
Maria mocks Allie for a shitty party, and Allie proposes pinatas and silly headbands. Maria isn’t happy and Sienna wants to drink.
Fact of Life with Tyrus?
Tyrus calls out Drake using his own show. Drake walks out and goes off on Tyrus, telling him he never should have chosen EC3, or picked a tag 2 on 3. He tells Tyrus he will never by the main event, he’s going to watch the main event. He says he owns Tyrus and gets choked for his effort.
Tyrus says no one owns him and he will face Eli next week. He throws Drake down and storms off.
Cut to Mexico as Konnan is very happy that the Broken Hardys do not want any money. He books them to challenge Psicosis and Super Crazy for the Crash Mexican Tag Titles later on. Then tries to get as much bootleg stuff set up as possible to make a profit off the Hardys.
Broken Hardys vs Nicho Il Millionare & Super Crazy
Mexican World Tag Titles
Auditorio Municipal in Tijuana, as the Hardys face off with Nicho and Super, the former Mexicools brawl as Hardys hits his signatures and Vanguard 1 gets it on with Spanish groupies in the back.
Jeff hits the Twist and eventually the Swanton on Nicho, and they win the Mexican World Tag Titles! Hardy sings “Obsolete” at the fans in Mexico as their Tag Team Expedition of Gold has won their first belts!
Konnan comes backstage storming for his titles, but Vanguard 1 has already teleported them to the Dome of Deletion – BROKEN MATT has a premoneetion! Matt Hardy announces he shall revert to his Egyptian Roots.
Next week, The Broken Hardys challenge for the Mid-Atlantic, the Extreme Horsemen and Wilkins and Royal. CWF comes at you!
We show how Sienna brutalized Brooke on behest of Miss Maria in Brooke’s return.
Sienna vs Brooke
Brooke rushes down and chases Maria around the ring. She kicks her leg off and SIENNA attacks Brooke in the ring! Brooke tries to fight back, pounding on Sienna but gets dropped.
Sienna for the pin, no. Sienna swings the shot, gets caught and Brooke smashes her in an STO of sorts, Sienna comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex! Cover! No.
Ties her neck up and wraps in the choke. Sienna runs in and crashes into Brooke with the Avalanche. Maria chokes Brooke out on the bottom rope as Sienna distracts the Ref.
They brawl, and Brooke smashes forearms into Sienna, but Sienna wraps her and slams the fallaway! Cover, no.
Sienna runs into Brooke no hits the corner and takes the Facebuster! Maria to the apron to distract, Brooke grabs her and Sienna rushes almost hits Maria, Brooke from behind- no Sienna with the fallaway slam again!
ANOTHER Fallaway from AK! Maria up top and Brooke swung around, Sienna for the AK-47 no Brooke from behind, slipped off the back and schoolgirl!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Brooke at 5:50, Schoolgirl
Cut to Braxton’s bachelor party. He wants to leave as some weird dude says he wants to watch an XXX rated video. Mike says no, and tells everyone they’ve been waiting for a stripper “Roxxie” …and upon seeing her, shuts the door on her disgusting ass. How about that DVD, George?
Eli Drake threatens Tyrus. He tells the man he will lay him out and beat every beating breath out of the man until his career is over. And that is not an insult, that is a fact of life.
A blast from Lashley’s Past
Lashley walks out, saying he is the best. The Four Time World Champion. He says he has beaten everyone on the roster. There is no one left for him to beat.
Josh Barnett comes out and tells Lashley he isn’t worthy of holding the belt. He tells Lashley he doesn’t have it. He is here to tell Lashley he doesn’t have what it takes but will make sure he does.
Lashley puts over Barnett but says in MMA there’s rules. In his world, there aren’t.
“As tough and as bad as you are. don’t tell me anything. As tough as you are, take your ass to the back.”
Josh snatches him into an armbar! Lashley yells and says he told him not to do that! Barnett says put the belt up for it and show everybody what kind of champ you are. Don’t Punk Out.
Lashley says he’ll fight anyone anytime. For the title? The asswhupping is still going to be the same. He accepts.
At Braxton’s party, he is clearly shaken. He moves George out of the way and taking a photo of Bennett and the larger stripper passed out together on Mike’s phone, texts it to Maria.
Eddie Edwards vs Davey Richards
Angelina walks out to announce her husband, and Davey attacks Eddie from behind! They brawl around ringside, as we go to our final commercial break.
We come back as Davey bangs a chair off Eddie’s hand! Davey is in control, stomping down on the neck. Davey talks shit, and gets hit as Eddie runs him with the clothesline!
Richards outside, SUICIDE DIVE EDDIE CRASHES INTO DAVEY AND GOES OVER THE BARRICADE!
SWEET PEAS AND MACARONI!
Eddie has the chair, and he holds it up but Angelina is in the ring to distract him- and DAVEY Smashes a chair into Eddie’s face!!
They begin to kiss and Alisha runs in! She jumps on Davey and then attacks Angelina! Love smacks her with a forearm! She handcuffs her to the rope, and takes the chair!
Eddie covers his wife as Davey chair shots him aga9n and again, and jams the chair again and again into Edwards!
Love places the chair over Eddie’s head as Davey smashes the conchairto down across the head! Alisha can only watch as Love kicks Earl hard!
Love counts the pseudo pin as Davey has left Eddie laying once again.
Next week! Expedition of Gold goes to the Mid-Atlantic!
Thank you everyone, for the 411 this is Aaron saying tune in to Larry’s Review! For the TNAListers and myself, thank you so much we hope to see you next time for more Impact Wrestling! Always be a fan.