wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WCW Monday Nitro Report 3.12.01

March 12, 2001 | Posted by Widro

WCW Monday Nitro Report 3.12.01
Live From Nashville
Announcers are horrible
Report by Widro

By the way CW and Birdwell described me last week when I missed both Nitro and Thunder, you’d think I was some sort of drunken mess. And you’d pretty much be right!

The Chosen One enters as the show begins. As he poses, Dustin Rhodes attacks from behind, and we brawl to the floor. The brawl moves into the ring. There is no ref, and this is apparently not a match. Shucks. More brawling, Dustin hits Shattered Dreams, grabs the mic and says he’ll give Jarrett something to choke on at the PPV.

Commercial Break

Buff sets up a video camera backstage for the Magnificent 7. They are chillin, yo. Flair gives some insane speech. Mentions Savage and Piper for some reason. JJ comes back and yells at them for not helping. Midajah was back too.

Clips from Kanyon killing MI Smooth.

Tony mentions the new owners could be in attendance tonight, and they show three empty seats being guarded.

Commercial Break

Something is happening backstage, but Tony and Scott have to stall for like an hour before we see Midajah out cold.

CW Tag Team Tournament
Jung Dragons vs. PrimeTime Elix Skipper and Kid Romeo
Kid Romeo’s music sounds like the Ricky Martin song. Dragons take control early. Yang goes up top, but PT pulls Romeo to the floor. Yang flies at the both of them on the floor. Match settles to Romeo and Kaz in the ring. PT back in and flies at Kaz to take out the Dragon. PT beats down Kaz. Romeo like an idiot plays to the crowd for a tag. PT tags Romeo, who takes out Yang so Kaz cant make a tag. But then does tag anyway. Match breaks down. Yang with PT and a ten punch count along, but Romeo grabs him and they do a combo neckbreaker/powerbomb out of the corner. Sunset flip by PT on Yang, who rolls through and then kicks him. Romeo hits a brainbuster type move on Kaz. Yang Driver on Romeo. Yang and PT tangle to the floor. Kaz goes for Dragon Sleeper, back and forth. Kaz hit with a belly to belly by PT on the floor. PT back in, Play of the day on Yang, who had missed Yang Time on Kid Romeo.
Winners: PT and Romeo

Commercial Break

Backstage Steiner is looking for answers about who beat up Midajah.

Lance Storm and Mike Awesome vs. Mamalukes
Storm on the mic. Vito does his awkward “Maestro, la musica please.” Where IS the Maestro these days? Vito calls them Canadian Bacon Bits. Mamalukes charge the ring, and yes, brawling begins. Into the ring, Storm and JTP go back and forth. Vito and Awesome go at it, and Vito gets some big offense including a cool side suplex. JTP in for a double team. Storm with a missile dropkick on Vito, and Awesome sets up for a Running Awesomebomb, having trouble, but hits.
Winners: Team Canada

Awesome hits one on JTB for kicks, and then Storm puts the Maple Leaf on. Konnan and Hugh make the save, they will fight Team Canada at Greed this Sunday.

Commercial Break

Stacy Kiebler is back, and she has a baby carriage but no last name. She rambles on then introduces her new “baby” and then Shawn Stasiak comes out. She then does her stupid dance and he poses. What the hell is this crap. They want to reveal their secret. In the carriage is not a baby, but 8X10s of PerfectShawn. Then he throws them into the crowd for all to enjoy. Shawn calls the crowd trash, in so many words. And for no reason, here comes Bam Bam Bigelow. He’s a face tonight for those keeping score at home. Shawn tries to ram BBB with the carriage, but BBB blocks and clears out Shawn “The Star” Stasiak. BBB on the mic, yells at Shawn and they make a match for Greed. Oh goody.

More footage of Midajah’s attack is shown. The Mag 7 idiots leave one by one and Buff whines about them leaving. Midajah looking pretty good. Buff lays the camera down as battery expires. Then someone moves the camera and attacks Midajah.

Steiner is pissed at this footage. Steiner doesn’t trust any of those guys.

Commercial Break

Spring Break Crap

Booker T is out for some interview time. He likes being back. Calls out anyone, and who should answer but Mr. Poppa Pump. He talks for a moment, then heat-stealing DDP is here through the crowd. Steiner cant see DDP amongst the trash, can he do jumping jacks? DDP responds: Steiner you really suck! Scott makes Rick/DDP for tonight, and then Booker T asks who his opponent is. Luger attacks from behind.

Luger attacks for a while, powerslam. Torture rack of doom is applied. A ref is here, and he calls for the bell. Oh, that was the start of the match.

Lex Luger vs. Booker T
Luger in control, Booker T trying to rebound. Huge clothesline. Booker T in the corner, Luger charges and BT gets the foot up. Luger sends BT to the floor, and follows for some, say it with me, brawling. Booker T whipped into the STEEEEEEEEL railing. Back inside the ring, Luger controls. Booker T punches away, but Luger stops him cold. Some sort of rest hold by Luger, Booker T powers out, then rolls up Luger for 2. Booker T does the cool rollup out of the corner which only worked to win a match once that I can remember (vs. Benoit I believe). If DDP interferes he loses his title shot, I forgot to mention that before. Axe kick. Harlem sidekick. Booker T gets the Book End and the win
Winner: Booker T

Rick Steiner is here with a chair, axe kick on him, but Luger is back and they double team. DVD by Rick. The Cat is here for the save. Kanyon is here for a Flatliner on Cat. Triple team on Cat and Booker T. Finally our savior DDP is here with a chair.

Commercial Break

Clips from before.

Evan Karagias vs. Shane Helms
Evan drives that Caddy, baby. Helms’ new entrance kicks serious ass. That’s what WCW needs, more stuff like this to give their guys character. Lockup, back and forth, etc. Shane catches Evan with a sick powerbomb. Hip toss suplex thing. Shane up top, and hits a flying fist, Rocker style. Evan up and hits a cool spinebuster. Bodyslam. Asai moonsault, Shane moves. Shane goes for Vertebreaker, Evan blocks. Evan in control. Shane fights back and both are down. Sugar Smack! Cover for 2. Evan with a slam for 2. DDT. Top rope spinning thing by Evan for 2. Shane floats back from an inverse DDT and hits the Nightmare on Helms Street. Signals for the Vertebreaker, I pop huge but the crowd is pretty damn silent. That moves kicks ass.
Winner: Shane Helms

Senior Chavo is here for some attacking goodness. This is unquestionably the best angle going in WCW.

Commercial Break

Spring Break Crap

Disco and Smoooooooooooth have a chat backstage. Smooth knocks out Disco. How isn’t Smooth dead? That was apparently on WCW’s new “security cameras” which are all over backstage.

Here are some recorded comments from the Rhodes’. They add some stip that if Flair and Jarrett lose, they have to kiss Dusty’s ass. Yuck.

And some from JJ and Flair.

Commercial Break

Kanyon vs. Disco
Instead of Disco, Smoooooooooth is here. Smooth is apparently injured and he limps to the ring. Ah I see, effects from having his limo totaled while he was inside. Smooth is a HEEL why should we have sympathy? Kanyon attacks Smooth as he limps into the ring. He just beats him down. Ref calls off the match. Announcers are putting over Smooth HUGE for some reason. Kanyon keeps beating on Smooth. YES! Get Smooth off my TV! Choo Choo! Ice Train is leaving the station. Kanyon has a chair and beats up Smooth. You cant keep Smooth down! This segment is lasting forever!

Commercial Break

Spring Break stuff

Scott is here for a promo. He runs down DDP and mentions all those guys he took out.

Commercial Break

Rick Steiner vs. DDP
DDP charges and attacks. DDP sends Rick to the floor then flies at him with a plancha. Brawling near the announce position. Back inside, and Rick controls with his slooooow offense. Brawling moves to the floor again. Into the ring again, and Rick hits a belly to belly for 2. Rick foot chokes DDP in the corner. DDP pulls Rick around the ringpost for a penis shot. But Rick retains control in the ring. Rick mocks DDP as he slooooooooowly moves through this match. DDP rolls up. Here comes the Magnificent 7 for the DQ. They beat down DDP. Hudson is seen backstage with Booker T and Cat who are stretchered out.

That’s it.

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