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411’s WWE Armageddon Report 12.18.05

December 18, 2005 | Posted by Larry Csonka

Lots of hype videos on Heat as well as a music video about the Tribute to the Troops show, that will air tomorrow on Raw.

Some diva stuff as well. Romero annoys me greatly.

Jamie BAH GAWD Noble is back and facing Funaki. Fun 3-minute match with Noble using a Dragon Sleeper/Body Scissors combo to make Funaki tap.

PPV STARTS NOW!

Cole, Tazz, Hugo and Carlos are the announce team!

JBL has the mic. He says he creates excitement whether he starts the show or ends it. He will forever be the main event. Matt Hardy, when he gets to the ring with JBL, so say you won’t die. You got fired, lost your girl and all you do is cry on the Internet! All you got from it was some cheap T Shirt that says I Can’t Die. Make a new one that says, “I wish I was dead” and sell it to your Internet friends. Tonight you get destroyed. You can say you knew the media maven known as JBL. I am a one man conglomerate and finally you get to be in the ring with main event.

Hardy is out.

JBL w/Mole Girl vs. Matt Hardy

He attacked JBL from behind! How dare he! They brawl on the floor and Hardy works the ribs of JBL ramming him off the apron. In the ring and JBL gets a knee to slow down Hardy. Hardy gets caught in the ropes Foley Like, and JBL beats him down. JBL grabs his legs and chokes him out! The ref finally gets him out and Hardy looks like he is out of it. Short-arm clothesline by JBL. JBL continues the assault on the floor. Back in the ring now, Hardy tries to fight back and JBL continues to beat him down. Elbow drops now by JBL. Nasty boot by JBL. Hardy fights back and gets a neck breaker out of desperation for 2. Running shoulder block by JBL. Boots to Hardy again. Running boot to Hardy who was still on the mat. Hardy fights back with rights, but JBL gets a thumb to the eyes. Hardy rammed to the corner and JBL lights him up with rights. Hardy set up top…JBL up and Hardy elbows at him and knocks him off. Moonsault to a standing JBL gets 2. JBL now works on the turnbuckle to take the cover off. Rights by Hardy, but JBL rams him to the exposed turnbuckle. CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL and that’s all.

Winner: JBL @ 6:52 via pin

Highlights of Melina seducing Batista on Smackdown, only to be used by the big man.

The Mexicools talk to Melina. They say they will cancel if she does to them what she did for Batista. She gets pissed and leaves.

Highlights of Foley being destroyed in Hell in a Cell vs. Taker.

MNM vs. The Mexicools (Psicosis and Super Crazy)

Psicosis and Mercury to begin. Lock up and some reversals to begin. Boot to Psicosis, and a shoulder block to Psicosis. Mercury misses the elbow and Nitro is tagged in and takes an arm drag. Rights by Nitro and Psicosis misses a corner dropkick. Mercury tagged din, up top and Psicosis nails him on the way down. Nitro and Mercury to the floor and a plancha by Psicosis. The ref stops SC from a dive and BOOOOO’s from the fans. He then leaps the ref and nails M and N! SC and go a little R&R on Nitro with a leg roll through. Psicosis up top, Melina crotches him and a snap mare by Mercury. Mr. Perfect snapping neck deal and Mercury covers for 2. Psicosis fights back and a tag is made and they take Psicosis down. Clothesline by Mercury gets 2. Psicosis battles out of their corner and gets a cool take down and takes Nitro and Mercury down. Tag to Nitro and a leg drop for 2. Front face lock now on Psicosis. Psicosis battles again to get out and Nitro nails SC off the apron. Suplex by Nitro gets 2. Mounted punches by Nitro and a face lock applied. Psicosis escapes and cannot make the tag as Nitro rams him into the corner. Mercury in and a slam. Up top he goes…stops before he gets the boot and an Enziguri by Psicosis! Both men look for a tag…and Psicosis gets one! SC all over them with hip tosses and clotheslines. Dropkick, SD fights them both off and gets a tornado DDT on Mercury for 2 as Nitro saves. Cross body by Psicosis to Nitro and Mercury! Nitro rams Psicosis off the barricade. SC up top…Melina grabs him and he tosses her down. MOONSAULT to Mercury! Nitro saves at 2! They grab SC and SNAP SHOT and that‘s all.

Winner: MNM @ 9:00 via pin

JBL is backstage at Instant Access. WRESTLING GAWD!

Booker T and Sharmell are walking. Krystal is there to interview them. Booker says it will be classic. Sharmell tells her off and says it is on and Booker will SWEEP Benoit. Booker says he will beat Benoit like he was his daddy! Booker will walk out the new US Champ, can you dig that? Sharmell says if Krystal needs a ride home, she can borrow the broom…nice.

Video package for Booker vs. Benoit.

Best of Seven, Match Four: Booker T (3) w/Sharmell vs. Chris Benoit (0)

They circle to begin, lots of Benoit chants. Lock up and Benoit takes him to the corner and they break. Booker to the floor to talk with Sharmell. Back in now and they jockey for position, Booker takes him to the corner and Booker breaks clean. Knee by Booker, and chops by Benoit and Booker is down and to the floor. Benoit invites him back in and Booker is back. Lock up and a go behind by Booker. Take down and some reversals now. Benoit in control now, slams Booker down and gets a face lock. Booker to his feet, escapes and gets a wrist lock. Takes Benoit down, and Benoit reverses again and then a reversal by Booker. Cross face try out of nowhere and Booker rolls to the floor. Booker and Sharmell talk, and Booker is back in. Boot by Booker, but Benoit back with a dragon whip and a sharpshooter try is stopped by Booker. Another dragon whip and Booker grabs his knee. Benoit works the leg now. Step over toe hold by Benoit now, Benoit drops down now and gets a variation of the Indian Deathlock. Booker rakes the eyes to escape. Chops by Benoit now. Booker with a knee stops that, and knees away at Benoit. Off the ropes and a back elbow by Booker. Chops by Booker now, Benoit back with chops. Suplex by Booker, almost dropped Benoit there. Booker covers for 2. Booker boots away at Benoit now. Benoit on the apron, Booker grabs him and tries to suplex him in, reversal and Benoit in with a German to Booker! Slam by Benoit, misses a running elbow drop. Booker has him now, and a gut first suplex to Benoit on the ropes. Running knee by Booker and Benoit falls to the floor. Booker follows him out now. Chops by Booker, back is Benoit with chops. Knee by Booker and he rams Benoit into the steel post! Booker back into the ring and Benoit is on the floor trying to collect himself. Benoit tries to crawl back in and Booker grabs him, snap mare and a basement dropkick by Booker gets 2. Abdominal stretch by Booker now. Benoit fights…but is down to a knee. Benoit back to his feet, and hip tosses Booker out. Off the ropes, double clothesline and BOTH men are down. They get to their feet, German by Benoit! Booker battles, boot by Benoit and a belly to belly throw by Benoit! Snap suplex to Booker and another, the 3rd! 3 Amigos by Benoit gets 2! German to Booker. The 2nd and 3rd! CUT THROAT! Benoit goes up top…Sharmell tries to hit him with the broom and Booker is up, Benoit floats over but Booker with a boot. Missile dropkick by Booker 1…2…NO! Chops by Benoit now. Off the ropes and a reversal…side kick by Booker. Knee to Benoit. The ref separates them and LOW BLOW by Sharmell! Scissors kick by Booker. 1…2…NO! Booker and Sharmell cannot believe it! CROSSFACE! Booker fights…and gets the ropes. Clubbing shots to the back by Benoit, German suplex! 2nd! A 3rd! Benoit goes up top…SWAN DIVE HEADBUTT!!! He covers 1…2…NO!!! Booker tries to nail Benoit, Benoit has him…Booker rolls through and hits the ref. Oy. Sharpshooter by Benoit! Booker taps but there is no ref. Sharmell has the broom…and whiffs on Benoit. Benoit sees her and Booker nails him from behind. Bookend…reversed into a DDT! CROSSFACE and Booker taps!

Winner: Chris Benoit @ 20:21 via Submission (Booker T – 3 — Chris Benoit – 1)

Sharmell flips out after the match. She is not a happy camper.

Back at Instant Access with MNM.

Clips of Taker tossing Rikishi off the Cell.

Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon are out to the ring. Teddy says 2005 was a huge year for SD. TV that’s changing Friday’s. SD defeated Raw at SS and became the #1 brand. SD could not have done that without the fans support. Now, let’s get ready…Cannon stops him and says the network had a great year. Cannon has a surprise for us. Santa, where’s Kurt Angle when you need him? It’s Vito and Nunzio! HAHA! Can Lashley squash them instead? They give coal to the fans and Cole. “Yo, yo, yo…Italian style.” Vito says they are poor, pathetic misfits. He knocks RI and says Santa won’t stop there. Vito says they are tired of giving. Nunzio says they are generous. They want something in return. They want a shot at the tag titles. That’s a joke. He wants a Cruiser title shot, even worse. Cannon says he will handle it. He agrees, they deserve a present. Here comes…BOOGEY MAN!

Boogey sings for us, Christmas style meets Boogey Man. Bogey Man is comin…TO GET YA!

He tosses Nunzio. Santa Vito peed his pants. Cane shot by Boogey. Pump handle slam to Santa Nunzio. Boogey’s stick is smoking, and he goes into Santa’s sack and it has worms in it. Boogey enjoys a snack. He rams them in Santa Vito’s mouth.

Yay, replays.

Video package for Orton vs. Taker.

Krystal asks Randy about HIAC. Bob tries to talk, but Randy takes over. He knows all about mind games, and he went out there and fooled us all. He says the Undertaker is NOT invincible. He will prove to everyone that he is the legend killer. Tonight, the Undertaker retires. Taker’s fate and power are in his hands. Randy has the urn!

Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal and Paul Burchill

Lashley and Burchill to begin. Lock up and Lashley with a go behind and throw. Burchill gets the ropes and Burchill with the go behind, but Lashley tosses him down. Regal in and Lashley levels them both. Boot by Regal and Burchill tosses Lashley to the floor. Regal rams him into the steel post and then Burchill gets a cover for 2. Elbows to the back of Lashley now. Half nelson face lock by Burchill. Tag to Regal and a T Bone by Regal and a tag to Burchill . U top he goes…and a flying knee drop to the back of Lashley for 1. Tag back to Regal now, and clubbing shots to the back of Lashley. Lashley gets a belly to belly and tags Burchill. They exchange rights and a backdrop by Lashley. Overhead throw, Burchill on his head, that had to hurt. Flapjack to Burchill now. DOMINATOR to Burchill and that’s all.

Winner: Bobby Lashley @ 3:40 via pin

The Friendly Tap Bar!!! Tim White! Josh Matthews is here to talk with him. White is drinking and doesn’t look happy. Josh brings up the Jericho vs. HHH HIAC that took White out of action. White keeps drinking and cries a bit. We get footage of that match, and White’s bump that injured him. Josh tries to ask more questions, and White says HIAC ruined his life. His wife left him, he is always sin pain and took it out on others. He says Josh doesn’t know about pain. He has all kinds of problems including irritable bowel syndrome. He tells Josh to leave. Josh wants to wish him a White Christmas. White grabs a shotgun and Josh runs like a bitch. Josh tells him to stop and we hear a gun shot. Great, so Tim White is a drunk and killed himself apparently. Nice.

Juvi © vs. Kid Kash

They brawl to begin. Dropkick by Juvi now. Chops by Juvi, and a tilt a whirl head scissors by Juvi. RANA gets 2. Arm bar by Juvi, Kash escapes but Juvi locks it back on. Escape and rights by Kash. Juvi backdrops Kash to the floor. Slingshot Plancha by Juvi. Kash rams Kash into the steel post 2 times, and then wraps his arm around the post and works it over. Kash continues to work the arm, Hammer lock slam by Kash gets 2. Kash pounds away on the arm, and locks in an arm bar. Boots by Kash now, then pulls him up and rams him to the corner. Again and Juvi back with chops. Kash nails him in the arm. Corner clothesline by Juvi, tries an Irish whip…gets it and Kash with a kick to the bad shoulder and a cover for 2. Slam by Kash and a cover for 2. They exchange rights now. Irish whip by Juvi, boot by Kash in return…and a slam by Kash. Up top…MERO-SAULT but he eats knees! Juvi is fired up now and chops away at Kash. Off the ropes…and a back elbow by Juvi. Clothesline now and Juvi rolls through a sunset flip and KILLS Kash with a stiff ass kick! Elbow by Kash, goes up top…Juvi up as well…they fight…SUPER FUCKIN RANA BY JUVI! Juvi grabs his knee, crawls towards Kash and gets 2. Kash begs off, Enziguri by Juvi gets 2. Northern lights float over, reversals and a 911 Juvi Driver. 1…2…NO! Juvi pulls him to the corner…misses a senton leg drop! Kash is up, grabs Juvi…BRAIN BUSTER and that’s all.

Winner: and NEW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION Kid Kash @ 9:40 via pin

Royal Rumble commercial, set in Caesar’s time. Yeah, no complex there. The end is gold, when Shane stabs Vince and Vince is all like, “Et Tu Shanicus?”

Video package for Show and Kane vs. Rey and Batista

Kane and The Big Show © vs. Batista and Rey Mysterio ©

Batista and Show to begin. Lock up and Show tosses Batista down. Lock up again and Batista is tossed down again. Rey gives him advice, which is funny to me for some reason. Elbow by Show, and a boot back by Batista. Off the ropes and a clothesline to Show, he stays up. Show grabs Batista and tosses him to the corner. Batista battles back and gets a shoulder block and SHOW IS DOWN. GOOZLE BY SHOW! Batista escapes and Show gets a superkick to Batista. Tag to Kane, rights to Batista now. Batista with knees, and a suplex to Kane, cover for 2. Kane back with a side slam, and he goes up top… Batista over and throws him off! Tag to Rey and a leg drop to Kane. Another and a cover for 2. Standing moonsault to Kane gets 2. Spring board, kicks to Kane and he no sells, rights by Rey and a shoulder block to the gut by Rey. 2nd rope ax handle by Rey, spring boar din and Kane tosses him down. Boot by Rey, Kane is down. Batista levels Kane on the floor and then Rey takes Show down off the apron. Rey tries the 619, but Show drags him out of the ring and charges him into the steel post. Rey back in the ring and Kane beats him down. Tag to Show and CHOP to Rey. Show mocks Batista and dangles Rey’s lifeless hand for him to tag, then beats him down more. Tag to Kane and Rey tries to fight back, but Kane goozles him, but Rey gets a bulldog counter! Show is in and levels Batista, they grab Rey…but Batista is back and goes wild on them. SPEAR to Kane. Batista swings Rey into Show. Spinebuster on Kane. CLOTHESLINE and Batista takes Show to the floor! They then crash onto the announce table! 619 by Rey on Kane. Springboard, Kane caught him, GOOZLE! Chokeslam, 1…2…3.

Winners: Kane and Show @ 8:39 via pin

Batista checks on Rey after the match. How nice, they held hands on the way to the back.

Cole and Tazz pimp the tribute to the troops show. I’ll be here recapping that as Derek is on vacation or something.

Highlights of HBK vs. Taker from their HIAC are shown.

Hell in a Cell: The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton w/Cowboy Bob and THE URN

Orton tries to run to start, Taker jabs at him but Orton keeps away. Lock up and a shoulder block by Taker levels Orton. Orton to the floor, then runs from Taker more. Headlock by Taker now, off the ropes and another shoulder to Orton. Orton gets a dropkick and covers for 1. Backdrop by Orton, but runs into a boot. Clothesline by Taker doesn’t take him to the floor, so he grabs him and tosses him out the other side. Taker stalks him and delivers rights. Head butt by Taker. Scoop and tries to spear Orton, but he escapes back to the ring. Orton begs off, and they exchange rights. Orton in control but Taker tosses him to the corner and SOUP BONE RIGHTS! Sorry. Taker rams him to the opposite corner and Orton is down. Boots by Taker and he chokes out Orton. Taker rams him rib first into the steel post. He continues to punish that area, then goes for and gets the running boot to the head of Orton and he falls to the floor. Orton tries to crawl away, but Taker just stomps on him. Orton rammed off of the steel steps. Taker gets a chair from under the ring and measures Orton…and WAFFLES HIM! Orton is now busted open. Chair to the gut and another WAFFLE SHOT to Orton’s head! Taker grabs him and grates his face off of the cell! Orton tries to climb the inside of the cage and Bob tries to help and Taker grabs him and grates his head again! Lots of blood now for young Randal. Orton has a chain now, but Taker rams him off the steps again. Clubbing shots by Taker, and then chokes him out with the chain. Taker lays him on the apron…no, picks him up and SPEARS him head first into the cage. Taker picks up the steps now and Orton nails him with rights. He beats Taker down. Boots now to Taker, Orton has the steps…but Taker boots it back into Orton. Taker rams him into the steps again. Boots by Taker, and back into the ring we go. Taker has a chair in the ring as well. Taker on the apron…RKO ON TAKER! He stuns off the ropes and into the cage. Orton unloads with rights and boots now. Orton favors his arm still from the steps earlier. He has the steps…and nails Taker! Taker is busted open now. Orton grates his head off of the cage now. Orton rams Taker off the steps and then gets the chain. He chokes out Taker now. Taker gets up on the apron…Orton still choking him…and a head butt by Orton. Taker back in the ring and Orton has the chair. He WAFFLES Taker! 1…2…NO! Taker nails an uppercut to Orton, and pulls him to the floor. Head butts by Taker. He then launches Orton into the cage. Taker with a running knee of doom to Orton! Back into the ring we go. Taker has him…slam to Orton. Taker goes up top…walks the ropes and MISSES Orton! Orton under the ring and gets a table. In the ring he goes with it. He sets it up and now rights to Taker. Boot to Taker and he falls to the floor. Bob grabs Taker’s hair and Orton is there to deliver rights. Taker fights back and had Bob’s arm! He rams him into the cell! Orton charges and nails his daddy! Bob is busted open now. Orton covers Taker on the floor for 2. Back into the ring and Taker moves the table. Upper cuts by Orton, off the ropes…flying clothesline by Taker gets 2. Old School time connects. Flatliner by Taker, cover gets 2. Snake eyes by Taker. Big Boot. Leg drop and a cover for 2. Taker calls for the chokeslam…GOOZLE! CHOKESLAM! Cover 1…2…NO! Orton gets the ropes. Taker gets the table now. Running knee on the corner by Taker. Corner knee misses this time. LOW BLOW by Orton with the chain. Rights by Orton, sets the table…grabs Taker and lays him on the table. Orton goes up top…BIG SPLASH TO TAKER THROUGH THE TABLE! Orton covers for 2. Orton tosses out the table and back to work on Taker in the corner. Mounts him…corner punches…Last Ride countered and Taker nails the ref! Chokeslam…COUNTERED into the RKO! Orton covers but there is no ref. Another ref is out and the door is open and Bob is in with the urn. Charles Robinson is in to count 2. Taker sits up and a rake of the eyes by Orton. Boot by Taker…LAST RIDE! Cover 1…2…but Bob pulls out the ref! Taker after Bob now. Rights to Bob and he is rammed into the cage. Taker back in the ring and cut throat by Taker. He stalks Orton…tombstone try, countered and Orton hits a NASTY LOOKING TOMBSTONE! Oh shit that looked bad! Orton crosses the arms and Taker sits up! Rights but Taker keeps sitting up! Rights to Taker and he is finally down. NO! GOOZLE! Bob is in, Taker nails him and Taker tosses off an RKO try. Nails Bob and Orton with the Urn. Tombstone on Cowboy Bob! One for Orton. 1…2…3.

Winner: The Undertaker @ 30:33 via pin

Taker has his urn and leaves. No, he tosses it up top and climbs the cell. Taker stands on top of the cell and holds the urn and poses.

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Larry Csonka

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