411’s WWE Fastlane 2017 Report 03.05.17

Welcome to 411’s WWE Fastlane 2017 Report. We are LIVE in beautiful Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Tonight’s Kickoff Show panel is Renee Young, Booker T, and Peter Rosenberg. First up is a video package for Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman. Renee and Booker T pick Roman Reigns, but Rosenberg picks Braun Strowman. Cesaro and Sheamus then join the panel to discuss the Raw Tag Team championship scene and reassure everyone that they’re still unstoppable. The Cesaro, Sheamus, Booker T, and Rosenberg all pick Gallows & Anderson to retain the tag titles tonight.

Rusev and Jinder Mahal meet with Mick Foley in the back to demand singles matches tonight. Foley says that he’ll find suitable competition for both of them; they can head down to the ring and decide who will go first. We move on to a video package for Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair. Renee and Booker T pick Bayley, but Rosenberg picks Charlotte.

Kickoff Show Match
Rich Swann & Akira Tozawa vs. THE Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar w/ Alicia Fox

Tozawa and Kendrick start the match, but Kendrick makes the tag to Dar before Tozawa can get his hands on him. Tozawa drops Dar but misses Kendrick making the blind tag. Kendrick and Dar go for a double team suplex, but Swann catches Tozawa to set up stereo drop kicks to Kendrick and Dar. Kendrick and Dar roll to the outside, and Swann and Tozawa hit the ropes for stereo suicide dives. Kendrick and Dar pull Alicia Fox in front of them, and Swann and Tozawa put on the brakes before tragedy ensues. We head to a break with Swan and Tozawa standing tall in the ring, but Kendrick is firmly in control of Tozawa when we return. Tozawa hits the ropes and charges at Kendrick, but Kendrick counters with a boot to the face. Tozawa takes down Kendrick with a head scissors and makes the hot tag to Swann. Kendrick makes the tag to Dar, but Dar eats a double stomp for a two count. Dar lands a clubbing forearm shot to the back of Swann’s neck that sends Swann tumbling to the outside. Kendrick and Dar drive Swann into the ring post as Tozawa accidentally distracts the referee. Dar rolls Swann back into the ring and makes the tag to Kendrick. Kendrick chokes Swann against the bottom turnbuckle and follows up with a drop toe hold. Kendrick goes for the Captain’s Hook, but Swann fights out. Dar gets the tag from Kendrick and lands a volley of uppercuts. Swann creates distance and FINALLY makes the tag back to Tozawa. Kendrick gets the tag from Dar but eats a senton for a two count. Tozawa goes for a German suplex, but Kendrick makes the tag to Dar mid-move. Kendrick and Dar get dumped to the outside, and Swann and Tozawa hit stereo dives. Tozawa rolls Kendrick back into the ring and connects with a Shining Wizard before making the tag to Swann. Kendrick tags Dar, but Swann drops Dar and hits the Phoenix Splash for the three count.

Match Result: Rich Swann defeats Noam Dar with the Phoenix Splash.
Match Length: 9:21
Slimmer’s Rating: **¼

Singles Match
Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

Joe goes for a quick leg kick, but Zayn evades. Zayn looks for a lockup, but Joe takes the opportunity to land the leg kick he missed the first time. Zayn catches Joe in a standing side head lock, but Joe breaks the hold and goes back to the leg kicks. Joe locks in a knee bar, but Zayn makes it to the ropes. Joe peppers Zayn with jabs and blocks an arm drag takedown, but Zayn takes Joe off his feet with a head scissors takedown. Joe muscles Zayn to the corner and drops him with a straight right punch. Joe keeps up the pressure with body kicks and again levels Zayn with a corner roundhouse kick. Joe ties up Zayn in a modified bow-and-arrow, but Zayn spins out and lands on Joe for a two count. Zayn tries to punch his way back into the match, but Joe sweeps the legs to regain control. Zayn levels Joe with a clothesline and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. Zayn heads up top but leaps over Joe as Joe closes the distance. Joe lands a kick to the face and follows up with a senton for a two count of his own. Joe whips Zayn to the corner, waits for him to rebound, and catches him with a power slam for another two count. Zayn rolls up Joe but only gets a two count. Zayn again heads up top, but Joe lands a roundhouse that stuns Zayn. Joe joins Zayn up top and sets up for a superplex, but Zayn tries to counter into a sunset flip powerbomb. Joe hangs on to the top turnbuckle to block the powerbomb, but Zayn drops Joe face-first onto the top turnbuckle. Zayn goes for the Helluva Kick, but Joe counters with the release sidewalk slam. Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch, and the referee calls for the bell when Zayn passes out.

Match Result: Samoa Joe defeats Sami Zayn with the Coquina Clutch.
Match Length: 9:50
Slimmer’s Rating: **¾

Raw Tag Team Championship Match
Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (Champions) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass

Cass and Anderson start the match, and Cass immediately takes the fight to Anderson. Cass works over Anderson in the corner and makes the tag to Enzo. Gallows tries to makes the save, but Cass dumps Anderson and Gallows to the outside. Cass tags Enzo and launches Enzo over the top onto Anderson and Gallows on the outside. Enzo rolls Anderson back into the ring, but Anderson traps Enzo in the corner and makes the tag to Gallows. Gallows drags Enzo down to the mat with a side head lock before making the tag back to Anderson. Anderson lands a volley of knee drops and gets a two count. Anderson locks in a side head lock and follows up with a clubbing forearm shot to the back. Anderson pulls Enzo out of the ring, but Enzo levels Anderson with an enzuigiri on the outside. Enzo whips Gallows into the ring post, rolls into the ring, and dives toward Cass, but Anderson connects with a mid-air kick to the head to prevent the tag. Gallows gets the tag, works over Enzo with body shots, and makes the cover for a two count. Gallows misses an elbow drop but successfully makes the tag to Anderson. Enzo ducks a corner clothesline and FINALLY makes the hot tag to Cass. Cass hits a splash in the corner and follows up with a fallaway slam. Cass hits another corner splash followed by the Empire Elbow. Cass levels Anderson with a Big Boot and tags Enzo. Enzo hits Bada Boom Shakalaka, but Gallows pulls Anderson out of the ring. Enzo dives off the apron and takes out Gallows as Anderson rolls back into the ring. Enzo follows Anderson back into the ring, but Anderson connects with a running knee shot as Enzo climbs through the ropes. Anderson covers Enzo, but Enzo gets his foot on the ropes. Gallows knocks Enzo’s foot off the ropes, and the referee makes the three count.

Match Result: Karl Anderson defeats Enzo Amore with a running knee shot to the head.
Match Length: 8:51
Slimmer’s Rating: ***

Singles Match
Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Sasha takes the fight right to Nia, but Nia easily shoves her to the ropes. Sasha lands a low drop kick, but Nia whips Sasha to the corner and levels her with a double ax handle to the back. Nia hits a backbreaker and wrenches Sasha’s back over her knee. Sasha goes for a sunset flip, but Nia pulls Sasha through her legs and again whips her to the corner. Nia continues to work over Sasha’s back and stretches Sasha around the top rope. Nia locks in a bow-and-arrow, but Sasha kicks free. Nia whips Sasha halfway across the ring and goes back to the bow-and-arrow. Nia hits a scoop slam and drives Sasha face-first into the top turnbuckle. Nia lifts Sasha into a torture rack, but Sasha spins into a guillotine. Nia tries to break free, so Sasha flips over into a sleeper hold. Nia flips Sasha forward to break the hold, but Sasha fights back with a DDT into the Bank Statement. Nia fights out and slams Sasha to the mat. Nia rag dolls Sasha and again lifts Sasha onto her shoulders, but Sasha counters into a prawn hold for the three count.

Match Result: Sasha Banks defeats Nia Jaz with a prawn hold.
Match Length: 8:13
Slimmer’s Rating: **

Rusev and Jinder Mahal come to the ring for the singles matches, but they can’t decide who will have the first match. They brawl to the outside, and Mahal whips Rusev into the timekeeper’s area. It looks like Mahal will have the first match, and it will be against… Cesaro.

Singles Match
Cesaro vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal connects with a knee to the chest and whips Cesaro to the corner. Mahal whips Cesaro to the ropes and lands a forearm shot to the lower back on the rebound. Cesaro fights back with a gutwrench suplex and follows up with a back breaker. Mahal rolls to the apron and Cesaro goes for his outside-in suplex, but Cesaro’s back gives out before he can get Mahal up. Mahal heads back into the ring and levels Cesaro with a short clothesline. Mahal drives his knee into Cesaro’s injured back and levels him with a running knee to the face. Mahal tries to drive Cesaro’s face into the top turnbuckle, but Cesaro gets his boot up on the turnbuckle to block. Mahal connects with a knee to the gut and whips Cesaro’s injured back into the turnbuckles. Mahal goes for a suplex, but Cesaro counters into a vertical suplex of his own. Cesaro hits a volley of European uppercuts and follows up with the corner uppercut train. Mahal eats a drop toe hold into the second rope, and Cesaro follows up with Swiss-1-9. Cesaro heads up top and connect with a diving crossbody for a two count. Mahal gets back to his feet but locks eyes with Rusev on the outside. The distraction gives Cesaro an opening for the Very European Uppercut, and that’s enough for the three count.

Match Result: Cesaro defeats Jinder Mahal with the Very European Uppercut.
Match Length: 8:01
Slimmer’s Rating: *¾

After the match, Rusev rushes the ring and continue the assault on Mahal. Rusev gains his revenge but suddenly sees that his opponent will be… the Big Show.

Singles Match
Big Show vs. Rusev w/ Lana

Show immediately whips Rusev to the corner and chops the chest. Rusev rolls to the outside to catch a breather, but Show gives chase and rolls Rusev back into the ring. Show chokes Rusev against the bottom rope, again whips him to the corner, and connects with a big splash. Show chokes Rusev again the middle rope and punts him in the ribs. Rusev tries to fight back with body shots, but he can’t take Show off his feet. Rusev hits the ropes and charges at Show, but Show levels him with a clothesline. Show hits the ropes and charges at Rusev, but Rusev goes low and clips the knee to drop Show. Rusev wrenches the injured knee, but Show fights back to his feet and hits a side slam for a two count. Rusev rolls to the outside, but Show reaches over the top rope and pulls Rusev up onto the apron. Rusev heads into the ring and chargers at Show, but Show goes for a choke slam. Rusev counters and lands three consecutive machka kicks to the face. Rusev makes the cover but only gets a two count. Rusev sets up for the Accolade, but Show counters into a choke slam. Show drops the straps and hits a second choke slam. Show hits a third choke slam and drags Rusev to the corner. Show hits the Knockout Punch in the corner, and that’s enough for the three count.

Match Result: Big Show defeats Rusev with the Knockout Punch
Match Length: 8:55
Slimmer’s Rating: **

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Neville (Champion) vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville and Gallagher circle each other to start. Gallagher ducks a punch and head stands in the corner. Neville pulls Gallagher back down to the mat, but Gallagher goes right back to the corner head stand. Gallagher drops both boots into Neville’s face and dumps Neville to the outside. Neville pulls Gallagher to the outside and whips him into the barricade. Neville rolls Gallagher back into the ring and heads up top. Neville hits a diving missile drop kick for at tow count. Neville stomps a mud hole in Gallagher in the corner, but Gallagher fights back with a series of European uppercuts. Neville hits a snap suplex, but Gallagher regains control with short forearm shots and a standing drop kick. Neville heads to the outside, but Gallagher surprises everyone with a sketchy looking plancha. Gallagher rolls Neville back into the ring and takes him up top. Gallagher hits a top rope belly-to-back superplex for a looong two count. Neville gets back to his feet and slams Gallagher’s face into the mat and goes for a German suplex, but Gallagher rolls him up for a two count. Neville hits a nasty release German suplex and follows up with a Phoenix Splash from the middle rope, but that’s only enough for a two count. Neville lands a kick to the jaw and a back heel kick to the gut. Gallagher side steps a low drop kick and hits two STIFF head butts. Gallagher makes the cover, but Neville somehow manages to kick out at two. Neville ducks a running kick in the corner and lands a side kick of his own. Gallagher rolls to the apron, but Neville takes him up top. Gallagher knocks Neville back down to the mat but then takes him back up top. Gallagher hits a SICK head butt up top, but Neville dumps him back down to the mat and this the Red Arrow for the three count.

Match Result: Neville defeats Jack Gallagher with the Red Arrow.
Match Length: 12:10
Slimmer’s Rating: ***½

The New Day bring their new ice cream bicycle cart down to ringside and hype their role as the official hosts of WrestleMania 33.

Singles Match
Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman muscles Reigns to the corner to start and then whips him across the ring. Strowman hits a back elbow shot and tosses Reigns out of the ring. Reigns climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Strowman knocks him right off. Reigns again climbs up onto the apron, and this time he drops Strowman throat-first onto the top rope. Reigns charges into the ring, lands a punch, and clotheslines Strowman to the outside. Strowman lands on his feet and pulls Reigns to the outside. Strowman whips Reigns toward the ring steps, but Reigns jumps over the steps to avoid the collision. Reigns hits a clothesline off the steps but can’t drop Strowman. Strowman goes for a shoulder tackle, but Reigns evades, and Strowman slams into the steps. Reigns and Strowman make their way back into the ring, and Strowman catches Reigns with a Samoan Drop. Strowman locks in a rear chin lock, and Reigns starts to fade. Reigns fights back to his feet, but Strowman slams him to the mat and tosses him out of the ring. Strowman heads to the outside, levels Reigns with a double ax handle to the back, and sets up the announce table. Strowman goes for a power slam through the announce table, but Reigns floats over and slams Strowman into the ring post. Reigns goes for the Drive By, but Strowman catches Reigns by the throat and tosses him back-first into the ring post. Both men head back into the ring and Strowman charges at Reigns in the corner, but Reigns evades, and Strowman posts himself in the corner. Reigns hits a Samoan Drop, but Strowman fights back with a Yokosuka Cutter. Reigns dumps Strowman to the outside and successfully hits the Drive By. Reigns goes for a spear through the barricade, but Strowman catches him in mid-air and hits a power slam through the announce table. Strowman rolls Reigns back into the ring and gingerly climbs back in himself, but Reigns catches Strowman with a spear out of nowhere for a two count. Reigns hits a Superman Punch, but Strowman stays up. Reigns hits a second Superman Punch, but Strowman still won’t go down. Reigns hits the ropes and goes for a shoulder tackle, but Strowman swats him down to the mat. Strowman all the way up top and goes for a diving splash, but Reigns rolls out of the ring. Strowman crashes to the mat, and Reigns follows up with a spear for the three count.

Match Result: Roman Reigns defeats Braun Strowman with the spear.
Match Length: 17:13
Slimmer’s Rating: ***½

Mick Foley catches up with Samoa Joe in the back and makes it VERY clear that he and Stephanie McMahon do not want Joe to interfere in the Universal Championship match later tonight.

Raw Women’s Championship Match
Bayley (Champion) vs. Charlotte Flair

Charlotte catches Bayley with a rear waist lock to start and takes her down to the mat. Charlotte hits a pair of shoulder tackles, but Bayley gets a single leg takedown and a jackknife pin for a two count. Charlotte tries to ram Bayley’s face into the top turnbuckle, but Bayley blocks and clotheslines Charlotte off the apron. Bayley rolls Charlotte back into the ring and goes for Bayley-to-Belly, but Charlotte escapes and rolls out of the ring. Charlotte returns to the ring and rag dolls Bayley in a rear chin lock. Bayley breaks free and hits a back elbow shot followed by a diving deep arm drag from the second rope. Charlotte blocks a pair of boots the face and whips Bayley to the mat. Charlotte hits a volley of knee drops for a two count and then locks in a head scissors and pounds Bayley’s face into the mat. Charlotte hits the rolling head scissors and kips up. Bayley gets back to her feet and chops the chest, but Charlotte regains control with a neck breaker. Charlotte hops out of the ring and slams Bayley’s face on the apron. Charlotte rolls back into the ring and covers Bayley for a two count. Charlotte connects with a pair of back breakers followed by a leg drop for another two count. Charlotte heads up top and looks for the moonsault, but she doesn’t quite get all of it. Charlotte adds a rolling senton for good measure and gets yet another two count. Bayley buys herself some time with a clothesline and a series of knees to the gut. Bayley swings Charlotte onto the apron and drops her gut-first onto the middle rope. Bayley hits a back suplex and gets a two count. Bayley ties up Charlotte in the tree of woe but can’t really find a way to take advantage. Bayley pulls Charlotte back down to the mat before heading up top. Charlotte rolls to the apron and pulls Bayley awkwardly into the turnbuckle. Charlotte and Bayley both head up top, and Bayley hits a top rope hurricanrana followed by a top rope Macho Man elbow drop for a two count. Charlotte dumps Bayley out of the ring to buy herself some time and then connects with a big boot when Bayley climbs back up onto the apron. Charlotte hits Natural Selection in the middle of the ring, but somehow Bayley kicks out at two. Charlotte goes for the Figure Four, but Bayley kicks her out of the ring. Bayley heads out onto the apron, but Charlotte flips her off the apron onto the floor. Charlotte heads all the way up top and looks for a moonsault to the outside, but here comes Sasha Banks! Sasha distracts long enough for Bayley to his a Bayley-to-Belly on the outside. Charlotte rolls up Bayley in the ring, but Sasha alerts the referee to the fact that Charlotte has a hold of Bayley’s tights. The referee breaks the count, and Bayley takes advantage with another Bayley-to-Belly for the three count.

Match Result: Bayley defeats Charlotte Flair with Bayley-to-Belly.
Match Length: 16:47
Slimmer’s Rating: ***

WWE Universal Championship Match
Kevin Owens (Champion) vs. Goldberg

Owens hops out of the ring before the bell rings so that he can dictate the pace of the match, including when it begins. Owens casually paces around ringside as Goldberg stews in the ring. Owens climbs up onto the apron, starts to climb back into the ring, but then thinks better of it. Owens heads back to the outside and continues to study Goldberg. Owens finally climbs into the ring only to immediately rolls back to the outside. Goldberg maintains the high ground in the ring as Owens paces at ringside. Owens climbs into the ring and calls for the bell, but suddenly Chris Jericho’s music hits. The bell rings as Owens is distracted by Jericho’s music. SPEAR! JACKHAMMER! THREE COUNT!

Match Result: Goldberg defeats Kevin Owens with the Jackhammer.
Match Length: 0:20
Slimmer’s Rating: N/A