411’s WWE Raw Report 05.12.03

411’s WWE Raw Report 5.12.03
Live from The City of Brotherly Love
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411MANIA by PK

Thanks to Ziegler for filling in last week, you can’t expect someone to work on their Birthday can you? On Cinco de Mayo no less!?! Anywho, get used to Z, he will be popping in now and again.

I was in Chicago over the weekend, and man did it live up to the “Windy City” moniker yesterday, all weekend actually. I love watching SNL while under a Tornado Warning. And I’m still waiting for Eric S to take me to boobie bars…

While I’m still talking, head on over to 411 Figures for a series of Give-A-Way Contest.

RAW!

The show opens with the cage down, and Christian in the cage saying that the match with Goldberg should not happen, because people don’t want to see the New People’s Champion get injured. HAHA. Austin comes out. Austin says that the match isn’t until later, and that Goldberg isn’t even here yet, and the match will go down, no matter what. And Austin starts to wonder why Christian is even out here. Christian says that he saw Austin backstage, and have him a “Number 1” hand gesture, and thought he was on first. Austin said that he was giving him the middle finger. Christian thinks that Austin is picking on him because Rock said Christian was his new favorite wrestler. Austin gets a little ticked, and tells Christian to knock it off before he pulls him out of the IC Battle Royal. RVD comes out, and tosses his name in for the ICBR. Kane then comes out and says he is in the ICBR. RVD and Kane go face to face, and Austin breaks it up and calls for a beer bash! Bischoff comes out, says that Austin was letting the show get out of control. He says that he will start raising the bar, and to start RVD and Kane will defend the titles against a team that they have never faced.

RVD & Kane (c) vs. Legion of Doom – World Tag Team Titles
Oh my, LOD looks old. LOD no sells just about everything. They go for the Doomsday Device on RVD, but RVD ducks Hawk’s clothesline, Kane boots Animal, then choke slams Hawk, and RVD nails the 5* on Hawk for the win. I thought they were getting a try out? Let’s hope that was it, and they failed!
Winners – RVD & Kane

Trish getting dolled up, Victoria comes in and says she will hurt her in a hardcore match…bleh.

Commercials.

Recap of the HHH/Nash brawl last week.

HHH comes into Jericho’s locker room. HHH reminds us that Nash tore quad last time he wrestled in Philly (I was there…horrible show). Jericho came back with the fact that it was ironic that it was him that tore HHH’s quad. HHH gets a little irked, but says that Jericho slingshot to superstardom right after he tore HHH’s quad, just imagine what it would do to him if he tore Nash’s quad. Jericho got a little smirk on his face.

Goldberg’s limo pulls up and he opens the door while talking on the phone, another limo (a white one), speeds by and slams the door in Goldberg’s face. Goldberg gets out the other side and starts screaming. I bet it was Rikishi.

Commercials.

Recap of Goldberg almost getting hit.

Theodore Long pleads with Austin to let Mack in the ICBR. Austin doesn’t like it when Long calls him ‘Player.’ Long tells Austin that he needs someone of color in the ICBR. Austin says that Long is right, and he overlooked someone, and says Booker T will be in the ICBR. Mack and Long don’t like it, but their music hits, and they have to go out.

Rodney Mack vs. 2 White Boys – Double White Boy Challenge
Well, let’s turn to good friend, and fellow 411er, Nate Stein to tell us who the 2 white boys are.

PKitt411: who are they?
NateStein: Kenn & Mike Phoeniux!!!
NateStein: sorry – excited, talked too fast
PKitt411: you know them?
NateStein: yeah!
NateStein: I’m good friends with Kenn!
PKitt411: well, he had 2 mins of TV time

Thanks Nate, oh, the Phoeniux Brothers lose.
Winner – Mack

Commercials.

Christian being questioned about the Goldberg/limo incident.

Coach trying to get a word with Bischoff about what happened. Bischoff has nothing to say. Classy Freddie Blassie is backstage, and Bischoff says that Morley was the one that arranged his book promoting, and he will not be doing it. Rico comes up to him, and asks if Bischoff knows anything that 3 Minute Warning can do to put them back on the map. Bischoff looks at Blassie and says that he can figure something out. He tells Blassie to go out and get in the ring to do his promo.

Austin catches up with Goldberg, Goldberg didn’t see the driver, but he will take his aggression out on Christian.

Commercials.

Lillian introduces Blassie, and Bischoff comes out right away, quickly plugs the book, and says that he hopes Blassie can stay for about 3 minutes longer. 3MW gets in the ring, and Bischoff starts to roll Blassie to the ring (he is in a wheel chair, some of you might not know that). Austin quickly comes out to inform Bischoff that he has reinstated the Dudley Boyz. The Dudz come down, and kick the crap out of 3MW, Austin let’s Blassie call for the tables. HAHA. They give Rico the 3D through the table. Austin, Bubba and D’Von drink beer.

Christian walks toward the ring with a chair.

Christian gets in the ring, says the chair he has is the same one that Rock beat Goldberg up with right before Backlash, and he calls it “The People’s Chair”. Goldberg’s music hits.

Christian vs. Goldberg – Steel Cage
Goldberg attacks Christian, and toys around with him. Christian reaches for the chair, but Goldberg picks him up, Christian then nails Goldberg in the nuts. Christian beats down Goldberg with the chair. Christian decides to not go through the door, and go over the top, but Goldberg grabs him and pulls him down. Christian nails Goldberg with the chair again. Christian calls for a spear, but Goldberg side steps it and Christian flies into the cage, splitting his head open. Goldberg with a power slam, then a spear, then a Jackhammer for the pin.
Winner – Goldberg

Jericho gets ready.

Flair catches up with Austin. Flair tells Austin that HHH runs RAW. Hurricane enters and says that after Nash beats him on Sunday, they will change his name from Triple H to Triple BEEOTCH. Flair and Hurricane go nose to nose, and Austin says that if they have problems with each other, they will have a match tonight. Flair goes to get his gear on, but Austin says that the match starts right now, just make sure they end in the ring…ding ding. HAHA.

The Hurricane vs. Ric Flair
The brawl their way to the ring. Flair in control, goes to the top, but Helms dumps him. Helms nails a choke slam and then a Shinning Wizard for 2. Flair trips up Helms, and it looks like Helms hurt his ankle. Flair goes to work on the ankle, and locks on the Figure 4. Hurricane tries to turn it over, but taps out.
Winner – Flair

HHH comes down, and has Flair release the hold, and he holds back Flair. They go to leave the ring, and HHH Pedigrees Helms, and that nullifies any rub Rock or Jericho ever gave him.

JR and King tells us that BPP/Test will take on La Resistance. Also, Test and Goldust will be in the ICBR.

Goldust, Scott Steiner & Test (w/ Stacy) vs. La Resistance & Christopher Nowinski
Guys, bear with me, I still don’t know which French guy is which. They talk down the US. The Faces jump them. They scatter, and Test beats down…Rene…maybe. Test quickly tags in Goldust, who gets raked in the eyes, and tags in Harvard. I blink, and BPP and Sylvan are in. Wait, now La Resistance is beating down Test. Nowinski in, Test fires back, both men tag, Test takes out Rene, Sylvan takes out Test, Goldust takes out Sylvan, Harvard takes out Goldust, and BPP reverse DDTs Harvard for the win. Stacy lifts BPP’s hand first.
Winners – Test/BPP/Goldust

Richards pep talking Victoria.

JR and King run down the RAW half of the Judgment Day Card

-IC Battle Royal (Jericho, Booker, Test, RVD, Kane, Goldust, Christian, HBK)
-Scott Steiner & Test vs. La Resistance
-Jazz vs. Victoria vs. Jackie vs. Trish – Woman’s Title
-Triple H vs. Kevin Nash – World Title

Cole and Tazz join us for the Smackdown half.

-Sable vs. Torrie in a Bikini Contest
-Team Angle vs. Los Guerrero’s – Ladder Match – WWE Tag Titles
-Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show – WWE Title

Jericho says to Terri that Nash better not take him lightly.

Trish vs. Victoria (w/ Stephen Richards) – Hardcore Rules
Tommy Dreamer makes his way to the ring. E-C-W chants instantly breaks out. Victoria grabs a serving tray, and Trish kicks it in Victoria’s face. Victoria gains the advantage, and smashes Trish’s face in the tray. Victoria with a sidewalk slam on the tray for 2. Victoria goes to hit Trish with a trash can lid, but Trish dodges it Matrix style. Victoria chokes Trish with a leather strap. Trish fights out, nails the Stratusphere, Richards tries to get involved by Dreamer fights him off. Victoria grabs a kendo stick, but Trish takes it away, and beats Victoria down with it. Trish nails StratusFaction.
Winner – Trish

Big Daddy walks.

Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash
King corrects himself from earlier, HBK will not be in the ICBR. Nash clubs away on Jericho. Nash has just as many moves as Goldberg. Jericho chop blocks him. Jericho goes for a Figure 4, but Nash shoves him off to the floor. Jericho trips up Nash, and slams his thigh against the ring post. Jericho off the ropes, and Nash, surprisingly, nails a sidewalk slam. Jericho gets up first, jumps on Nash’s back and locks on a sleeper, but Nash drives him back first into the turnbuckle. Nash with ANOTHER sidewalk slam. Jericho with a boot to the crotch, then a bulldog, then the Lionsault for 2. Nash with a quick knee to the gut, and sets up Jericho for a Jacknife, but HHH and Flair comes out, HBK soon follows. Nash and HBK holds them off, Nash Jacknifes Y2J, then HHH, while HBK gives Flair Chin Music. HBK counts pinfalls on Jericho and HHH…then shins up the belt and gives it to Nash. It is pretty clear that he will turn on Nash at the PPV.
No Contest