411’s WWE RAW Report 1.12.15

411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 1.12.15

When Striker says there is too much AJ in the RAW Report…

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RAW
IS
Chess?

THE RED AND YELLOW IS HERE TO START THE SHOW!!!

No, not Hogan, John Cena! He stands atop the ramp, holds out a towel that says “NEVER” and then says “Always.” Weird.

Anyway, he makes it down the ramp unscathed, and slides in the ring. Cole introduces Booker and JB-Izzle. Cena seems hyped. Boos and cheers. He says the crowd is riled up, then says he’s happy to be back. A couple of nice pops. He mentions Bourbon Street, but says this isn’t like last week…you know, when he was all bad news bears face. He brings up Triple H and Steph and how disappointed he was that they expected him to gamble with Edge’s life, but he did the right thing. What’s sad about all of this is that a guy like Triple H, a 13 time Champion, automatic Hall of Famer, is only gonna be remembered as a bastard whose goal every day is to make our lives miserable. He brings up Rowan, Ziggler, Ryback and how they were fired. He asks the crowd if we like Dolph Ziggler, and if any of the guys deserved to be fired last week. Cena wants to know if we want to see all three of them tonight…YES chant is slow to start.

Cena tells Authority that the great city of New Orleans has spoken. He wants all of the Universe to get on “Social Network” right now and hashtag Authority Sucks. He calls them deaf, blind, and stupid. Cena knows Triple H and Steph, says they probably are just those things, so he has a plan b. He’s going to win the title. He’s hell bent for leather, and he’s leaving as Champ, and when the Rumble is “ova,” the very second he pronounces that he is “here” is the moment that he says YOU CANT SEE ME because he’s going to take the belt and go home, and he will wait until The Authority gives those guys their job back! He lists off some what ifs that, namely “What if there was no champion.” Has he NOT been watching since Brock won the title?!

Triple H cuts him off, and here is The Authority. Steph calls Cena’s retorts awesome and original, and she is sure that Dolph, Rowan, and Ryback are so happy to watch the Rumble and see Cena win the title, then take his ball and go home. That’s great, says Steph. She’s sure the people want Cena to turn his back on them just like he did to his teammates. Triple H says he expected a lot more from him than this. He mocks Cena’s plan. Cena knew the consequences, the stipulations, Trips was very clear. Triple H said anyone that supported him would be fired, and if Cena lost, they would lose their jobs yet Cena convinced them numerous times knowing damn well, they could lose their jobs. Then he won. Did Trips and Steph cry and whine about it? No, they walked away and found a way back in because like Triple H has said before, The Authority always wins.

Seth Rollins exploited Cena’s weakness, because at the end of the day, Cena is selfish. It’s always got to be about him. Even when Cena had to be the hero to save Edge, he brought back The Authority at the expense of the men who stood by him. Triple H mockingly calls him a hero. Triple H hated firing those guys. Unlike Cena, Triple H and Steph keep their promises. He then asks if we would like to see Dolph, Rowan, and Ryback get their jobs back. Triple H will give Cena an opportunity to give them their jobs back…all Cena has to do is win his match tonight. If he wins tonight, all three of those guys get their jobs back. If Cena loses, then he crushes people’s dreams. The match? John Cena vs Seth Rollins. It will be a Lumberjack Match.

Here come the Lumberjacks, and the match begins…now.

After the commercial.

Match 1: John Cena vs Seth Rollins
Side headlock from Cena. Cena drops to the mat. Rollins sends Cena to the ropes. Barrett gets involved for a second. Stomps to Cena. Rollins with a right hand. Rollins gets Cena in the corner. Right hands again. Elbow to the head of Cena. Cena tries to fight back with a shot to the gut, but he eventually gets sent to the outside. Everyone crowds around Cena. J&J get a few cheap shots in the the crowd sends Cena in the ring. Cover for 1…2..NO! I should mention that all the lumberjacks are heels. Seth with more stomps. Cena is up and tries to fight back. He hits a right hand, another, then sends Seth over the top rope to the outside. The Lumberjacks go towards him, but J&J hold them back and stop the heels. They all back up as J&J check on Seth and stand him up. Big Show is nearby and checks on his new buddy, too, as we go to break.

We are back, and Cena is on his hands and knees. Rollins is talking shit. Rollins with a short clothesline. Cole talks about the ref not being impartial due to The Authority which makes no sense. Cena looks to gain some momentum with the protobomb, goes for the five knuckle, but Seth kicks up. Cena grabs the leg, but Seth turns that around only for Cena to eventually hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cena with the AA! J&J Security on the apron! Cena knocks them off! The Lumberjacks grabs Seth and pull him out of the ring! Cena sees this and hops up top! He flies off the top rope into the crowd of Lumberjacks. All Lumberjacks are laid out except Big Show. Cena rolls Seth in the ring and covers. Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Lumberjacks begin to stir and some are up around the ring. Cena lifts Rollins. Rollins with a small package! Pin for 1…2…NO! Cena rolls towards the ropes! KICK TO THE FAYCE! Pin from Rollins! 1…2….NO!!! Rollins heads to the top rope, but Cena is up! He hits a right hand to the face of Rollins then sets up for the Superplex. Rollins fights back. He hits a right then scrapes the eyes hard. Rollins with a sunset flip that doesn’t work! Cena in the middle of the ring with an awkard looking spinebuster or powerbomb. Pin for 1…2..NO!

Both men down. Rollins up first with a right. Cena gives one of his own. They trade em. Cena ducks a right. Goes for the AA. Seth lands on his feet! Kick to the gut! He flips up and over with a move then pins for 1….2….NO! Cena struggles to get up in the corner. Seth up first. He runs, misses a splash, then runs right into an AA!! Pin for 1…2…NO! J&J Security pull John Cena out of the ring and now everyone attacks Cena on the outside!! Cesaro grabs him and swings Cena into the barricade! J&J stand Cena up and roll him back in the ring. Rollins in the corner. He runs, goes for the Curb Stomp! Cena picks the ankle!!! STF in the middle of the ring!!! Seth crawls towards the rope! Kane is there! He grabs Rollins and pulls him towards the rope! Cena hits the ropes! Big Show is there!

He pulls John Cena outside and hits him with a KO Punch! He and a few others roll Cena in the ring. Seth sees, rolls over. Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Seth Rollins
The action was fun, but the entire booking from opening to this moment leaves so much to be desired…
RATING: **1/2

How I felt about the entire first 30 mins of RAW…

Also, Ben, [email protected]

Backstage, Steph is with Usos and Ambrose. She wants to talk about some things that were said. She confuses the Twins. She tells them that she knows they are a bit upset about The Authority, but she thinks that after watching the show, it’s really the responsibility of John Cena. Jey asks if that’s it. So there’s no punishment? Steph asks what kind of a monster do they think she is? They are about to leave, but Steph says one more thing…tonight, Naomi is going to compete in a one-armed match.

As for Ambrose, she understands that Ambrose was unruly, erratic, and he checked himself out of the hospital. Steph calls him threat to himself and others, and because of that, we brought a doctor in abnormal psychology who will be evaluating Dean and if he does not pass the evaluation, then Ambrose will not be competing in the Royal Rumble match.

Further backstage, Miz and Sandow are talking about the Golden Globes and their after party. As a long time Friend of George (Clooney), he would be remissed if he didn’t congratulate George Clooney. He wishes him a congratulations and says one day, he’ll get a slammy.

FURTHER backstage, Ambrose is with the psych dude. Doc wants to know what makes Ambrose’s clock tick. Before they begin, he tells Dean to sit back, relax, and reflect. He places a ticking clock next to Ambrose. Ambrose stares at the clock like he’s Capt. Hook as we go to break.

Back to the show, and we get a recap of Cesaro and Kidd goin all cray cray on Big E E.

Match 2: Cesaro and Tyson Kidd vs Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods
Kofi starts quick with a dropkick, sending Cesaro to the outside. They get back in but Cesaro lifts Kofi up and drops him into a right from Kidd. Kidd gets in the ring after a tag and let’s just fast forward to when Cesaro gets tagged in since i missed it. Cesaro with an uppercut. Cesaro runs into a back elbow. Kofi with kicks to fight out of the corner, but Cesaro hits a knee, then kicks Xavier off the apron. Kofi with a rollup, but Cesaro kicks out at 2, and grabs the legs of Kofi. He tags in Tyson! Cesaro with a Big Swing! Tyson DROPKICKS Kofi mid-swing!!! Pin to Kofi 1…2…NO! Woods breaks it up! Tag to Cesaro who stomps Kofi then tags in Tyson again. Tyson whips Cesaro into Kofi, but Kofi tosses Cesaro overboard, then dodges a splash and kicks Kidd over the ropes! Tag to Woods. Right hand, another. Mule kick to Kidd. A kick to the gut. Whip then a splash into the corner. Woods rolls Kidd over to the middle of the ring, then catapults himself into a clothesline. Cesaro in the ring, and Woods with an enziguri to Cesaro, sending him over the ropes oddly. Woods grabs Kidd by the head. Adam Rose is on the apron. Distracts.

Kidd with a rollup, Big E clotheslines Adam Rose on the outside! Tag to Kingston! Woods with a backbreaker set up and Kofi flies off the top rope with a double stomp to the chest of Kidd! Pin for 1….2…3!!!
Official Result: A New Day
Man, give these guys five more minutes and get rid of Adam Rose…
RATING: **

Cole brings up the Hall of Fame 2015 then talks about the story that TMZ “broke.”

We get a few of the superstars trying to do the OOOOOOHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAHH Macho Man thing, including Paige. Some are funny, some are weird, all are charming. JBL and Booker try it.

-Commercial Break-

Someone told the WWE that the Colts are keeping Flair relevant, and they weren’t several years late.

We are given the information that Hogan, Michaels, Hall, and Flair will all be at RAW next week. It’s announced with the same importance that an upcoming match would be…

Big Show is here and wants to talk about men being created equal. He says he is naturally at the top of the food chain; things just come easier to him. A small BIG SHOW SUCKS chant gets his attention. He claims that this proves that we people are at the shallow end of the intellectual gene pool. He wants us to ask about our first day on the job; that we were nervous, intimidated, scared. Know what he did? He beat Hulk Hogan for the World Heavyweight Championship. Why? Because it was easy. BORING chant, I think. Show laughs it off, then says we spend our lives living from failure to failure, doing everything in our power to reach mediocrity. We are losers. We don’t want competition, the world doesn’t want competition. Competition is supposed to be good for America, right? Deep down inside, we don’t want that. What about the new guy that came to your job? Did you flash your plastic smile? Embrace him as part of the team? No, in the back of your mind, you think that he’s going to take your spot. What can I do to stab him in the back for job security?

Where the fuck was the segue here?

Anyway, Show brings us to Roman Reigns. Big Show doesn’t think of Reigns as competition; he’s not. To Show, Reigns is WWE’s version of the New York Knicks, who are on a 15 game losing streak…Show, you’re in New Orleans, brah. Show tells us that he’ll knock out Reigns, put him in a chair next to Spike Lee, then he’ll be like us, watching him dominate the WWE. Reigns is a loser, and if you’re a fan of his…then by proxy, you’re a loser too.

The music of Reigns hits, and Show exits the ring just as Reigns enters. Reigns on the mic, he questions why Show is leaving considering he’s not a threat.

He says he gets it, he’s not a threat to Show. That’s because Reigns doesn’t want Show’s spot. He does remember when Big Show won the WCW Title; he was like 12, but it’s a great story. He has another great story. He wants to tell the story to Big Show. Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a little boy named Roman Reigns and Reigns had magic beans. Those magic beans sprouted a giant bean stalk. So, little ol Roman climbed that beanstalk, and do you know what he found? He found a goose that lays golden eggs, a magical harp, and a whole pile of golden coins, but oh no…there was a giant protecting all of that treasure, so Reigns said, “Screw the treasure, I’m going to kick that giant’s ass.” So he did just that. As the giant was picking himself up, Reigns was prepared for the fight of his life, but the proud little giant, he walked away cowardly, proving he is the only loser in the entire kingdom. And that whole part about being a loser, he’s talking about Show…believe that.

Oh….dear.

Harper is here. Show smiles a bit then stands by his side like they’re not quite yet a couple?

Match 3: Roman Reigns vs Luke Harper
Harper with the underhook and sends Reigns into the corner. Right hands. Reigns reverses and sends Harper into the corner himself. Hard hands to Harper then a whip to the corner. SAMOAN DROP! Reigns in the corner, calls for the punch or spear, but Harper rolls out of the ring quickly!

Back, and Harper has a pin on Reigns for 1. Big Show is sitting tableside. Reigns is hitting some hard knees to Harper, backing him in the corner. Reigns scrapes the head of Harper on the ropes. Harper hits a kick to the gut. Harper with a right elbow to Reigns. Another. Harper sets up for a suplex, and there is a LETS GO HARPER chant. Harper with a suplex, Reigns blocks it, again, one more time, then hits his own, and carries over it into a pin for 1…2..NO! Harper in the corner. Reigns hits the ropes, and turns right into a freakin dropkick!! Nice. Harper heads to the outside. Reigns already out there. Harper with a toss to the barricade. He whips Reigns into the steps. Harper sends Reigns into the ring then goes Eddie Guerrero on his ass and hits a HILO!! Gator Roll from Harper! Roman stands out of the move, but Harper hits him in the chest. He hits the ropes, but Reigns hits an elbow. Another. Whip and Reigns comes back with a hard right hand. Splash/Clothesline in the corner. Whip and another from Reigns! Neckbreaker by Reigns! Pin for 1…2..NO! Harper with the eye rake! Big Boot from Harper! Pin for 1…2..NO! Reigns is up! Side Slam! Pin for 1…2…NO! Reigns backs up in the corner. He cocks for the Superman Punch, and Big Show just…well, he throws a chair.

Reigns goes for the punch, but Harper reverses and thrusts the throat. Side slam from Harper! Pin for 1…2…NO! Reigns is up. Harper is up. SUPERMAN PUNCH!! Harper rolls towards the ropes. Cole sells it as Harper trying to prevent being covered (good call). Reigns heads to the outside. Flying dropkick to the head. Show tries to distract after Reigns sends Harper in the ring.

Reigns on the apron. Superkick to Reigns! Pin for 1…2…NO!! Harper in the corner. He goes for the big clothesline, but Roman Reigns with a SPEAR!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Roman Reigns
Harper is amazing, and made Reigns look great. Good match.
RATING: **1/2

Immediately after the match, Show heads in, hops over Harper, and attacks Reigns! Body slam to Reigns. Big Show lifts Reigns. KNOCKOUT PUNCH to Reigns!!

-Commercial Break-

Miz and Sandow are back. Miz speaks about Boyhood and Sandow has a similar project in the works. For the last six months, he has had a crew film Miz in every single moment. He calls it Manhood. Miz looks awkwardly towards Sandow and a bit creeped out. Sandow does the same. haha.

Match 4: Naomi vs Alicia Fox
So Naomi has a hand behind her back. Alicia mockingly extends her hand for a handshake. Naomi with a kick to the gut. Right elbows to Naomi. Whip to Alicia then a short clothesline. Alicia is able to hit a right hand and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Pin for 1…2..NO! Jimmy and Jey are watching backstage. Alicia trips up Naomi. Alicia grabs the head of Naomi and slams her down. Pin for 1. NO! Alicia grabs the right arm and bends it back. Goes for a key lock. Locks the arm behind Naomi. Naomi stands out of it and hits a booty bump to the gut. Elbow to Alicia, then Alicia hits her in the face hard. Alicia backs Naomi in the corner and hits some hard elbows. The ref breaks it up so Naomi hits one of her own, then a boot. Hard right hand from Naomi. Another. A kick sends Alicia to the apron. Alicia stands and Naomi impressively kicks to the head hard! She heads to the outside then grabs Alicia by the head and slams her into the apron a few times before sending her back in the ring. While trying to get back in the ring, though, Alicia hits a hard kick to Naomi!

Horrible Scissors Kick by Alicia Fox and a pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Alicia Fox
Naomi continues to prove she may have something. Alicia continues to prove she might not.
RATING: *

Cole asks Booker if that moved looked familiar, and it would have been hilarious if Booker said “Hell Nah.”

Backstage, the Doc wants to do image association with Ambrose.

Ambrose: THURSDAY!

Image: Triple H
Ambrose: Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Image: Seth Rollins
Ambrose: Scumbag

Image: Reigns
Ambrose: Brotha!

Image: Kane
Ambrose: Toothpaste

Image: Jim Duggan
Ambrose: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Image: Stephanie McMahon
Ambrose: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-Commercial Break-

We’re back! BAH-ROCK! LESNAR! is here! YOUR World Heavyweight Champ is here! Heyman on the mic. He introduces himself, and it is with great pleasure that he returns to the scene of the crime where 282 days ago, the rancid city of New Orleans, along with billions of millions laid witness to this:

The death of a myth, the end of a legacy, the rise of a beast. It all happened in one moment when The Undertaker’s undefeated streak was conquered by Brock Lesnar. Brock isn’t one to dwell on the past, because if he was, he would remind you that he is the only man in history to hold onto the NCAA, the UFC, and the WWE Heavyweight Championship in the world. It’s so prestigeous that no man has even held two of those titles. No one man, but one beast, Brock Lesnar. Heyman loves to dwell on the past, however, which is why he loves to remind us of his accolades. Here we are, and it still burns you when he tells us that his client conquered the undefeated streak, but to him it’s still very relevant because that’s what Brock Lesnar does… Heyman loves every single time this concept of “Then. Now. Forever” as perpetrated by the WWE as a great fantasy that we all by into. IT’s a fantasy that runs up against the reality that is Brock Lesnar. The Streak will last forever = fantasy. Brock? REALITY! The Cenation flag will fly high forever = fantasy. Brock? REALITY! Now? Seth Rollins is the future of the WWE = fantasy or reality?

There’s a Triple Threat match at the Royal Rumble where Brock will defend against Cena and Rollins. Tonight there will be a contract signing. Brock will explain to those two men the difference between fantasy and reality, face to face to curb stomping face.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back to RAW, and we get some more imitations of Macho Man. Bellas just….

Match 5: Jey Uso vs The Miz
Lockup to start. Jey backs MIz in the corner then whips. Reversed. Miz with a hard clothesline. Miz on the apron. He hops up top and flies off, but Jey hits an axe handle to the gut. Jey grabs Miz atop his shoulders, and slams him down. Sandow hangs over the ropes as if he’s on shoulders, then falls forward. lol. MIz gets sent to the middle of the ring. Jey with a crossbody off the top. Pin for 1…2..NO! Jey with a Samoan Drop! Miz backs into the corner. Jey with the butt splash! He pulls Miz in the middle and pins for 1…2..NO! Miz backs Jey into the corner, grabs a kick and sends Jey’s leg on the rope, then kicks hard. Jey with a roll up for 1…2..NO! Jey tries for a superkick, but Miz launches himself forward and grabs onto Sandow.

Miz holds the hands of Sandow, so Jimmy grabs Damien and drags him out. Miz uses the distraction to hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: The Miz
Oh Sandow, you slay me.
RATING: *

Miz mocks the Uso’s dance as he heads up the ramp.

Cole mentions the arrival of The Network to UK and Ireland.

-Commercial Break-

The bearded one is here. YES Chants are heard, and he’s as happy to see the people as they are to see him. Bryan says that something seems familiar about all of this.He feels like something big happened last time he was right here in New Orleans. But he can’t think of what it was. Sufferin Succotash!

Oh wait, he remembers! He headlined Mania and became the World Heavyweight Champion! Not bad for a Lumberjack looking B+ player, huh? Two weeks ago, he declared his intentions to be in the Royal Rumble match, but he thinks it’s only fitting that in this city, he declares his intentions on winning the Rumble match as well, and this year we’re going to do the whole diddly all over again, and he’ll main event this year’s Mania as well, and he doesn’t care what The Authority has to say…

Well speak of the Double D Devil herself, here’s Steph. She has something in her hand I can’t quite make out yet. Ah, it’s a DVD. Steph takes the boos in stride. She says in case Bryan isn’t feeling fit, she wants to give Daniel a gift. A copy of WWE Fit series, all broken up into short segments that can be done individually or all together, depending on your fitness levels. Well, she tried. This city holds a lot of memories. A few miles from here, they broke records with Wrestlemania, and Daniel is right – he did make history by defeating Triple H and becoming Champion. They believed in you and bought into it. They were proven wrong, then reality came crashing down and when he thinks of 2014 and Daniel Bryan, well this is what she remembers…..video of Daniel Bryan getting Tombstoned by Kane on the steps then the table.

Steph references his injuries and surgeries. Bryan’s been gone for 8 months, and during all of his absence, she is sure he wondered if he would be able to make it back and fulfill his dream. We people believe in him, and that he will write the next chapter in the underdog story, because he represents us and was able to overcome the odds. But Steph must ask, does Bryan really believe in himself? Is he ready to do this all over again?

Well……YES! YES! YES! goes the crowd, and there’s your answer. Bryan asks Steph to join in and raise her arms, betting it’s a better workout than that DVD there. He then raises his thumb and shouts HOOOOOO. haha.

Bryan says Steph doesn’t get “us average joes” because he had to fight for every opportunity he has been given and no matter what The Authority does, he will not stop fighting. We will not stop fighting. And we will prove The Authority wrong one more time. The one thing Steph has, however, is an education, and since Bryan wants to fight so bad, Bryan’s first match won’t be the Rumble match…it’ll be on Smackdown (You know, that whole match they’ve been ADVERTISING ALL NIGHT!!)

Anyways, it’s against Kane, and here he is! Bryan drops the mic. Kane heads out and doesn’t even have a chance to enter the ring. Bryan slides through the ropes for a sloppy kick then attacks Kane!! He tries to send Kane into the barricade, but Kane sends him into the steps! Kane with the stomps! Kane removes the top part of the steps. He’s looking to repeat history. Kane removes his tie (probably so Bryan won’t choke him out). Kane looks to Tombstone Bryan again, but Bryan slides off of his shoulder and sends Kane into the ringpost!! Bryan with a flurry of rights!! Kane tries to scurry away. Refs come out to break it all up and the crowd boos. Kane stands. Bryan RUNS with a dropkick to Kane!!! haha. Nice! Bryan heads into the ring. He hits the ropes! Kane is walking away. Suicide Dive to Kane!!! Bryan attacks some more! The refs try to hold him back. Kane stands and heads up the ramp. Bryan enters the ring again as Kane heads to the back.

-Commercial Break-

Match 6: Brie Bella vs Paige
I needed a sammich and Connie wasn’t here to make it, so I missed the first few moments of this. Paige with the knees to the chest of Brie. Brie is able to bring her into the ring, though, and hit the knee against the ropes that she does so well. Brie heads to the 2nd rope, hits Brie Mode, and a dropkick to Paige. Pin for 1…2…NO! Brie hops atop Brie and sends her head into the mat repeatedly then locks in a chinlock. Brie is up and slams Paige down. Another chin lock. Paige escapes and hits a back kick then a headbutt, another! She ducks a clothesline and hits a kick to Brie. Pin for 1…2..NO!

Tyson Kidd gets on the apron for some reason. Paige is distracted. Brie with the rollup. 1….2….3!!!
Official Result: Brie Bella

RATING: NR

Paige isn’t too happy. She heads to the outside and gives Tyson Kidd a hard smack to the face. Nattie seems somewhat ok with it.

Cole says that the contract signing coming up could be a trainwreck. We can only hope that’s not foreshadowing.

Wyatt is here. He says 30 souls will enter the Rumble match and 29 souls will fall. We are not in Wonderland anymore, Alice, and whatever it is that he does next will change our world forever. Most will be shocked into silence while the animal that is caged is set free. No man on planet earth will be immune to his wrath. Run.

-Commercial Break-

Cole is here to officially announce that Randy Savage is going to be inducted into the Class of 2015 Hall of Fame. As expected, a great video package that nearly chokes me up for sure. A lot of his crazy promos are shown, including the numerous spots he did on talk shows and Slim Jim. They kept it light, which is good, but still a very worthy and welcomed addition to the HOF.

Randy Savage chant from the crowd. Hogan is confirmed as the man who will induct Savage.

A squared promo is shown saying they are better than those before them…

Match 7: The Asscension vs Nathan Justice and Ace Rimmer
Conor with a splash in the corner to a man who is most likely 89 lbs. Conor with a blow to the back then tosses him into the ring. He lifts Nathan and hits a right hand then another. Tag from Vik who kicks nathan hard then knocks Ace off the apron. Tag to Conor. Double team sends Nathan up high then down to the mat. Fall of Man. Pin for 1…2….3!!

Official Result: The Ascension
…
RATING: NR

Backstage, Ambrose is in the docs chair and says he thinks we’ve made a lot of progress. The doc is in the couch crying about his father. Dean hopes he has been able to help them work through his problems. As for that adolescent stuff, don’t worry…he won’t go blind (Bazinga!). Ambrose gets the doc to sign the paperwork, then says that he thinks the doc is a spineless, gutless, heap of cow dung and YES it is weird that he sits down to pee.

ha.

-Commercial Break-

Lana is here. She is wearing the horrible color of Brown and still pulls that shit off. She says that Rusev was supposed to face Ryback, but his ass got canned. They would like to thank The Authority, and John Cena for failing to get Ryback’s job back. So typical, an American has a job yet chooses to be insubordinate. Pathetic. She says that our chants will not help us. She would like all of us to imagine how Ryback feels at home. Maybe he can work at a deli, or some other stupid place that he talked about in his stupid story.

Rusev on the mic, yo. He calls us cowards, and says we do not deserve him as our champion. Rusev calls Ryback lucky because he got fired and because John Cena couldn’t win his job back. Because, what would have happened is Ryback would have ended up with Rusev in the Rumble match where he is going to throw him and a buncha other fools over the top rope.

The music of Ambrose hits, and he comes sauntering out, totally not psycho. Ambrose shoots in and attacks Rusev, then dropkicks his ass through the ropes.

Ok, so it’s a match now…

Match 8: Rusev vs Dean Ambrose
Ambrose dodges a splash and hits a bulldog to Rusev. Ambrose hops off the top rope and fucks with his knee. He hits Rusev with some rights, but Rusev is of superior intellect and clips the leg of Ambrose. He attacks the knee with some kicks then drags Ambrose a bit, dropping elbows onto the inside knee every now and again. He locks the leg up in a hold as Lana smiles happily. Rusev sets Ambrose up in the corner and locks the leg up against the ropes. Rusev hits it hard with a shoulder. Rusev lifts the leg and locks it around the ropes again. He hits the ropes, but Ambrose is up, moves and Rusev hits the ropes. Ambrose grabs the head and goes for a DDT, but Rusev tosses Ambrose. Rusev goes for a Superkick, but Ambrose grabs the leg and rolls him up. Pin for 1…2…NO! Rusev up. Right hand, he lifts up, but Ambrose hits the ropes, and bounces off with a clothesline. Ambrose flips over the apron so cool, selling the bad knee like a boss. He gets up top and hits an elbow to the standing Rusev, all the way down into a pin! 1…2…NO! Rusev crawls away. Ambrose stands. Rusev hits a forearm to the forehead. Rusev with kicks to the back, some stomps. Rusev stomps over and over. The ref stomps him and checks on Ambrose. Rusev grabs the head, but Rusev kicks the knee as commentary talks about the ref and his responsibilities. Rusev sets up the Tree of Woe and attacks the knee.

The ref goes to unlock Ambrose out of the corner. Ambrose drops to one knee, and the ref calls the match. Rusev wins via Ref Stoppage.
Official Result: Rusev
Come…..on
RATING: *1/2

Ambrose tries to plead with the ref then turns right into a Superkick.

-Commercial Break-

Triple H and Steph are in the middle of the ring. They introduce Rollins first. John Cena is next. Brock is last.

Heyman on the mic. For those that can’t tell the players here without a score card, as much as he would love to take credit for bringing back Authority, for manipulating the pawns, for putting all the pieces together, Heyman wants to give credit to Seth Rollins. Rollins had a plan, and that plan was endorsed by Paul Heyman. It was desperately needed by The Authority, which was bad for John Cena, and what’s bad for Cena is good for Lesnar, and what’s good for Lesnar is best for business. Follow that?

Rollins thanks Heyman, says it was a hell of plan, and Heyman says he wasn’t done…He speaks of Brock’s conquests and says that this will include anything that comes before him come Rumble. That is he end of his statement. Rollins smirks it off. He wants to get something straight. Heyman is upset that this match has been turned into a Triple Threat for one simple reason – cuz it could be a double cross, a double cross where Brock doesn’t have to be pinned or tapped out, so yeah, he’s pretty flippin upset. Rollins calls him perceptive due to spelling out the rules to EVERY TRIPLE THREAT MATCH EVER. Brock has an incomparable list of accomplishments. Are you saying that Brock can’t handle a triple threat match? Heyman is about to answer, but Seth cuts HIM off. Nice!!

He wasn’t finished yet. He doesn’t have the list of accomplishment, but guess what…he doesn’t have Rollins. Rollins built The Shield, destroyed the Shield, he is Mr. Money in the Bank, he brought back The Authority, he pinned John Cena tonight, stings, don’t it, Cena? And come the Rumble, whether it’s Plan A (points to contract) or Plan B (points to briefcase), he is walking out WWE Champion.

Seth Rollins signs the contract.

Brock on the mic!!! He calls Seth Mr. Curb Stomp. He says he conquered The Undertaker, he conquered Triple H, and he conquered John Cena. He’ll damn sure conquer Rollins. Here’s Cena. He tells Brock that he doesn’t have to be pinned to lose the belt, but he’s going to. Cena looks to Brock, says that he nad Brock are gonna kick Rollin’s ass, then Cena is gonna kick Brock’s ass. Cena signs. Brock signs. Cena says It’s On, gets all hyped and hops and tosses a hat.

Rollins says that none of Cena’s plans don’t seem to be going how they imagined them. He tried to keep The Authority out of power for good. Strike 1. Fail. Tonight? He came out and tried to get Dolph and Co their jobs back. Strike 2. Fail. In two weeks, at Rumble…Strike 3. If, of course, he can make it that far. Rollins tries to attack with the briefcase. Cena sends Rollins into the corner! BROCK WITH A GERMAN!!!!! Brock hits Rollins with a GERMAN!!!! Cena no sells the German! AA into the table on Brock!!!!!

Rollins is up!! Triple H distracts Cena!! CURB STOMP TO CENA!!!

Brock is stirring!!

CURB STOMP TO BROCK LESNAR!!!

Nicely done…

End Show