411’s WWE RAW Report 1.2.17
Tony’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! How was your New Year’s Eve? I had to bartend, so in a rare night, I was completely sober. Anyways…..
It’s 2017, bitches!!! Mick Foley is out with a haircut only a mother could love, and welcomes us to the first ever RAW of 2017. He brings up the Reigns vs Owens match and how Jericho will be hanging in a cage above the ring. The cage is at the top of the ramp, and we get a nice view via camera through it just as Kevin Owen’s music hits.
The two best friends that anyone has ever had are here. Jericho and Owens walk out all but hand in hand. Owens wonders if Foley thinks this is funny – to hang Jericho, his best friend, like a sexy pinata? Owens brings up some exhibits to prove that Foley is abusing his power. Exhibit A….giving Reigns a match at Royal Rumble for his title, when Owens has already beaten him. Exhibit B: Seth Rollins Pedigrees Jericho on top of a car like a barbarian, and Foley rewards him. Jericho pulls off one of the greatest strategic moves in WWE history, and he gets in put in a cage. Jericho says it’s not right. It’s been obvious from the start that Foley has had a personal issue with them, but it’s a new year, and they will not stand for it anymore.
Foley says he has made mistakes, and they are right. He would like to wipe the slate clean. Foley hears The Kevin Owens Show being thrown around, and Foley wants to see what this is all about. So tonight, The Kevin Owens Show will be a talk-show with the first guest being….GOLDBERG.
Owens says good. Weird that it’s Owen’s show, but Foley makes the guests? They have some questions for “Bill” anyway. Owens wants to warm up and ask Foley a question. What makes Foley think he can go around abusing his power?
Stephanie McMahon makes her way out to say that Foley is not abusing his power. He has rights to do all of this, although she wishes Foley would have consulted with her. Foley brings up Steph not talking to him about Sami’s Last Man Standing Match. Steph says they are usually on the same page, and tonight she hopes Foley will be with her with this match: Roman Reigns vs Chris Jericho for the US Title. If Reigns is DQ’d or counted out, Reigns will lose the title.
Jericho has a question. He wants to know about Seth Rollins. Owens thinks Steph should ban Seth Rollins from that match. Steph is tired of all of this. For the first time in history, Smackdown Live defeated RAW in the ratings. If Owens doesn’t want Seth ringside, then he’ll have that opportunity tonight. The loser of the match between Owens and Seth will be banned later tonight.
Steph cleaned up that messy segment in a way only she could…
Match 1: Loser Banned From Ringside Later Tonight
Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owen
Lockup to start, and Rollins is quick with the right hands. Owens rolls to the outside, and Seth with a dive over the top rope atop Owens. He sends Owens into the ring, and Owens rolls right out, only for Seth to dive over the top rope one more time! Rollins tries to get in the ring, but Owens with a chop to the chest. Seth fights back, eats a knee, then Owens tosses him backfirst into the barricade. Owens rolls into the ring at the count of 4, then stomps the entering Seth. Owens sends Seth into the corner and chops him hard. Seth reverses, gets a chop, but Owens gets a kick, then an uppercut to the gut. Owens smacks the back, gets kick. Seth with a snapmare then a running kick to the chest of Owens. Cover for 1. Owens kicks out. Seth grabs the left arm, then drops it on his shoulder. Owens with a right hand and a kick to the back. Owens with a chop to the corner, another. Owens with a whip to the corner. He runs, gets a boot to the face, and Seth with a blockbuster and a cover for 1..2…NO!
Back after a break, and Owens has a cravat from behind on Rollins. They’re on the mat. We missed a DDT, just in case you were wondering. Owens with a senton and a pin for 1..2..NO! Owens grabs the legs of Seth, splits them, then stomps the lower abdomen. Owens with a kick to the chest of Seth. Another kick to the gut of Seth. Right hand to the face of Seth. I missed a pin. Come back to Owens knocking Seth off the apron. Owens rolls out of the ring, goes for a running cannonball, but Seth moves and Owens hits the barricade! Both men back in the ring at the count of six. Chop from Owens. Right hand to the forehead from Seth. Right from Owens. Kick from Seth. Kick from Owens! Right hand from Seth. Another! One more. Kic-NO! Owens with a kick to the back leg. He hits the ropes, and Seth hits a kick. Seth hits the ropes again, Owens pops him up. Seth lands on his feet. ENZIGURI!! Rollins hits a running forearm, bounces off the corner and hits another, goes for a third, but Owens sends Seth into the corner, runs for a possible cannonball, but Seth grabs him and sends him face first into the turnbuckle. Slingblade to Owens! Owens is up. Kick to the chin. Seth goes for The PEdigree, Owens with a back body drop. Seth lands on his feet! Owens goes to attack, but Seth sends him over the top rope to the outside! SUICIDE DIVE FROM SETH ROLLINS!!! Seth sends Owens into the timekeepers area and beats him down with a bunch of rights. The ref is at 7. Owens is up. He grabs the ring bell. Seth enters the ring, then comes back out to break the count. Owens hits Seth with the ringbell in the gut! The referee says this match is over, and Owens is officially Disqualified.
Winner via DQ: Seth Rollins
That’s a dumb ass decision. The wrestler Kevin Owens has been wouldn’t make that mistake. Really bad ending.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **
Match 2: Cesaro vs Karl Anderson
Lockup! Two bald men wrestling looks weird. Cesaro hits a shoulder tackle and a cover for 1. He locks the right arm, turns it into a headlock, rope work, and Anderson hits a tackle of his own. Anderson hits the corner. Monkey flip. Cesaro lands on his feet, arm drag by Anderson, Kip up from Cesaro. He hits a huge ass uppercut to Anderson. Damn. Cesaro with an uppercut again, sending Anderson into the corner. Anderson whips Cesaro then grabs his head, tries to send him to th corner, but Cesaro stops it with a boot. He locks the head, then the gut and dead lifts the guy in the center and just tosses him. Pin for 1..2..NO! Cesaro hits the ropes, then hits a spinning uppercut to the back of the neck of Anderson! Cover for 1..2.NO! Cesaro gets tossed over the top rope, lands on his feet, gets distracted by Gallows, and Cesaro gets dropkicked off the apron.
Back from a break, and Anderson is trying for a suplex. Cesaro blocks it then DEADLIFTS Anderson for a suplex of his own! Uppercut from Cesaro! Another! Cesaro whips Andersno in the corner, goes for an uppercut, Anderson side steps, kick to Cesaro! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Both men up and Anderson hits a clothesline. Pin for 1…2.NO! Cravat from behind. Cesaro is able to escape and send Anderson into the corner. Uppercut to the back of the head from Cesaro! Cesaro blocks a right. Hits an uppercut. Blocks another right. Uppercut. Cesaro hits like 5 one after another in the corner. Whip to the ropes, reversed, but Cesaro walks up the corner and flies off with a crossbody! Good lord, it looked great. Cesaro calls for the spin! He hooks the legs! Anderson on the apron! Cesaro turns. SPINEBUSTER! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Sheamus leaves the announce table and heads down to watch out for Cesaro. Anderson gets Cesaro in a fireamans. Cesaro lands on his feet, ducks under a clothesline, springboard uppercut! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Cesaro locks the head up! He calls for The Neutralizer, but Anderson escapes. Cesaro with a sharpshooter attempt, but Anderson gets the ropes. Boot from Anderson! He hits a running knee! Anderson with a whip into the corner, Cesaro moves, sits Anderson on the corner. DROPKICK! UPPERCUT! Fuck, Cesaro is amazing. Cover for 1..2…NO! Anderson on the apron. Cesaro locks the head, looking for the superplex. Gallows on the apron. Sheamus pulls him off, but the movement causes Cesaro to be crotched! He tumbles down.
Anderson goes to the top rope. He flies off with a neckbreaker from the top! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Karl Anderson
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/4
Video package for Sami vs Braun.
Join me tonight, 15 minutes after RAW for my immediate reaction to RAW. Due to multiple personality disorder, there will be two other voices along for the ride. Harry Broadhurst and Rick Beslin, my slightly less interesting alter-egos will be there as well!
Match 3: Braun Strowman vs Sami Zayn
Sami ducks a clothesline then gets in a quick right jab. Braun tries to corner Sami, but Sami ducks and hits a one-two punch. Sami circles a bit, then leaves the ring. Braun follows, but Sami comes out of nowhere with a kendo stick! They’re back in the ring now, and Sami is goin buckwild with the stick. One last hit and Braun catches the stick, breaks it over his knee, then tosses Sami across the ring. Sami leaves the ring again. Braun follows. He goes to grab Braun, but Sami has another kendo stick! He smackes him in the back of the head, gets a few more hits. Again, Braun catches the stick. He chases Sami to the barricade, where Sami hops up, goes for a moonsault! Braun catches him and drops him on the barricade!!! The ref starts the count. He gets to 6 when Sami gets up. Braun goes for a splash against the post, but Sami moves!! Braun hits the barricade. Sami sends him one more time into a post. A third time into the post! Sami backs up, dives through the ropes, BUT BRAUN HITS A HARD RIGHT HAND!!! Damn….Sami is stirring. He’s up at 6. He enters the ring, where Braun is already standing. Braun rushes the corner and squashes Sami hard. Sami is down, up at 5. RIGHT HAND AGAIN by Braun. Sami up at 3. Braun with a clothesline! Ref starts the count again. Sami up at 4. Braun hits the ropes. Shoulder tackle knocks Sami back down. Ref starts the count up again. Braun sends Sami into the ropes. Sami with a clothesline! Braun is still standing! He goes for another, but Braun hits one of his own! Sami rolls out of the ring and lands on his feet at the count of 6.
Back from a break, and we are nearby the announce table at the top of the ramp. Braun sends Sami headfirst into the front of the announce table. Braun with a right hand. Braun with hard blows to the back. Braun pushes a cart into Sami. Sami is down, and the ref starts his count. Braun grabs Sami by the head then whips him through some curtains. Sami grabs a metal pipe out of a box and hits Bfraun once, again. Braun rips the pipe out of his hands but Sami sends him into the boxes nearby. Braun grabs Sami and tosses him above some equipment boxes. He grabs a nearby empty one and tosses it towards Sami. Sami moves. He kicks off the box, grabs a chair, and smacks Braun in the back hard! Braun heads back towards the announce table, and Sami hits another chairshot to the back. A third sends Braun closer towards the ramp. Sami foes for a fourth, but again, Braun grabs him and tosses him aside onto the stage. Sami crawls towards the chair as the ref counts. Braun steps on the chair, then grabs Sami and sends him into the staging. Sami eats a panel. Braun gets Sami on his shoulders. Sami floats off and grabs the chair. More chair shots. Braun grabs the chair. Sami with a kick into the chair. Braun is near the edge of the stage. Sami backs up a bit. He runs. Crossbody onto Braun, and they bloth fly off INTO a table!!! Cole is having a verbal orgasm. Good lord…
Braun is up at 4! Sami grabs a chair. Braun walks towars the ramp. Sami with another chair shot! Braun is down!! Braun grabs the chair from Sami and uses it to help send Sami down the ramp! Braun trucks down the ramp and clotheslines Sami down near the edge of the ring. Braun grabs Sami. POWERSLAM OUTSIDE OF THE RING!! Sheeeeeeeeeut! Ref ges to 5….7……8……Sami is up! Braun with a knee to the face!! He is kneeing the shit out of Sami! Sami is down again, and the ref starts the count. Braun grabs Sami at the count of 4, and Braun starts with right hands from behind. Ref starts the count over.
Ref hits 5….6…Braun stops the count again, and lifts Sami. ANOTHER POWERSLAM! Sweet baby Jesus. Ref gets to 5….6….7…8….9…..10
Winner: Braun Strowman
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/4
After the match, Braun attacks Sami! He grabs him and sends him into the barricade hard, shouting “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust!”
We are reminded of Jack Gallagher’s Gentlemen’s Duel from 205. They play some campy music to go along with it which kind of takes away a bit of the seriousness.
We go live, and backstage Gallagher is showing New Day how to properly thrust an umbrella. They gyrate a little bit as we go to commercial. When we come back, New Day will share their New Year’s Resolutions!
We’re back, and New Day is here!
They call last year a relatively successful one, and find a way to still gyrate in syllabic meter. Big E announces their official entry into the Royal Rumble match. Woods is about to drop some resolutions but they are interrupted by…..TITUS O’NEIL doing his own intro over the loud speakers. Titus comes out like a dancing fool.
Titus says in order to reach all of their 2017 goals, he knows exactly what they need…a new member of The New Day. He knows in everyone’s head, whoooo? whoooo? haha. Look no further than The Titus Brand. They know he has rhythm. Titus does some NEW DAY ROCKS jig. But not only that, he also exhibits a few musical talents, then reaches for Francesca, and Woods calls him Honey. hahaha. perfect. Anyways, Titus says he always comes prepared, and starts whistling NEW DAYROCKS. Titus begins twerking.
Titus begins Twerking.
Big E says it’s cool, we all know that Titus blows. Titus says to imagine Titus’ face on a box of Booty-Os. Woods says that everyone in this building and at home would rather see his face on the back of a milk carton. But really, no one in their right mind would want to wake up in the morning and be looking at….THAT.
Titus says that’s a strong joke coming from the weakest link in The New Day. Woods wants to show Titus how much of a weak link he really is. He challenges Titus to a match right now. Titus punches Woods in the face, leaves the ring, and says he’s got his match.
Match 4: Titus O’Neil vs Xavier Woods
Bell rings and Woods tries to use his quickness. He kicks the leg down of Titus then hits a spinning forearm, then runs right inot a boot. Titus gets Woods in the corner for some rights then hits a body slam. Titus locks an arm then pulls back on the chin, right in front of New Day. Titus drops Woods down hard then barks. Titus chops the chest while pulling back on the arm. Woods fights out, hits some rights, then gets hit with a knee. Titus shoves Woods into the ropes. Woods with a kick, hits the ropes and tries to drop Titus. Kick to the gut, another to the face. Woods gets tossed over the top rope, lands on the apron. High kick to Titus. Titus tumbles over to the outside! Woods in the ring. He hits the ropes. Woods with a plancha onto Titus!!! Woods sends Titus back in the ring. Cover for 1..2…NO!! Woods on the top rope. He flies. Titus catches him. backbreaker. Again. He tosses Woods towards the corner then pats himself on the back. Titus grabs the hair.
Titus sets up for another backbreaker, Woods floats over. Sunset flip! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Xavier Woods
WHAT WERE THEIR RESOLUTIONS!!!
Match Quality: *1/2
Personal Enjoyment: *1/2
Total Rating: *1/2
Backstage, Steph is texting Triple H about dinner. Bayley is here. She wants to ask about the expungement of her win. She wants to know how Dana can be the ref. Steph says Charlotte has high powered attorneys, and Steph had no other choice. Since she’s here, though, Steph wants to talk to her. She never wanted her on RAW. Foley did. Steph says Charlotte has pedigree and is a larger than life superstar. Bayley, though? She’s ordinary. She’s just…Bayley.
Bayley is quiet for a bit, then says she may not have a famous last name, and may not have a famous last name like Steph or Charlotte. It took her a while to realize this but she belongs on RAW. She may not be what Steph thinks a champion should look like. She’s just Bayley, and that’s good enough for her. Nothing will stop her from acheiving her dreams.
Steph says she nearly made her believe so tonight she’ll get a Number One Contender’s Match, and the winner will get a title shot. Oh, and the opponent? It’s Nia Jax.
In the Cruiserweight section of the locker room, Noam walks up to Cedric and Alicia, and says that this is a new him. He apologizes to Cedric. Cedric then says Alicia is the one he needs to apologize to. He then says, “I apologize….sweet cheeks.”
Match 5: Cedric Alexander vs Drew Gulak
GUlak works the arm, Cedric trips the legs, pins for 1, head scissors and a dropkick get a pin for 1. Cedrick with an uppercut. He gets pushed, then Gulak hits a body slam into the ropes. He stomps down Alexander a bit, then hits some right hands in the corner. Whip to the ropes, and Gulak just single arm back body drops Cedric. Pin for 1..2..NO! Austin Aries is on commentary yet again. Gulak with a submission move of sorts. Kind of looks like Rings of Saturn. Gulak with a right hand. Cedrick fights back. He hits the ropes, hops over Gulak, hits a clothes, a right hand, ducks under a clothesline, and hits a back elbow. Handspring into the ropes and Cedric comes back with a kick to the head.
Nese hops on the apron, and Alicia Fox pulls him off. Cedric notices and goes to see what’s up. This distraction allows Gulak to roll up Cedric for 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Drew Gulak
Well, it’s someting
Match Quality: *1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **
Match 6: United States Championship Match
Chris Jericho vs Roman Reigns
Jericho with the right hands to start! He back Reigns into the corner and hits a few knees. Whip to Reigns, and he comes out of the corner with a HARD clothesline to Jericho! Headbutt to Jericho. Jericho hits the ropes, a kick, then gets hit with a Samoan Drop! Pin for 1..2..NO! Whip to Jericho, Jericho hits a boot, hops on the 2nd rope. Missile dropkick and a pin for 1..2…NO! Jericho with a kick to the back of Reigns. He chokes Reigns up on the 2nd rope. Jericho goes for a kick after a bounce off the ropes, but Reigns moves and Jericho hits his leg. Reigns with two clotheslines. A flying clothesine to Jericho. Reigns on the apron. Jericho hits the corner. Reigns looks to want a Superman Punch, but Jericho hits the springboard dropkick first! Baseball slide from Jericho, but Reigns side steps and hits an uppercut. He goes for another clothesline, but Jericho moves and sends REigns into the ringpost! Nice. Jericho rolls back into the ring and the ref is at 5. Reigns is struggling to stand up. Ref gets to 10, and Reigns JUST gets into the ring!! Jericho with some stomps!
BACK after a break, and Jericho seems to have the upperhand still. He slaps Reigns around a bit, talking shit, and this pisses Reigns off. Reigns sends Jericho into the corner. Jericho goes for the running bulldog but Reigns sends him into the corner, crotch first. Reigns beats down on Jericho’s head from behind with a 9 count. Reigns grabs Jericho and drops him hard with a slam. Pin for 1..2….NO! Reigns calls for a Superman Punch, but Jericho side steps and hits an elbow. Lionsault, but Reigns gets the knees up! Reigns hulks up, hits the corner. Jericho stands as Reigns runs for a spear. Jericho with a kick! He goes for the Codebreaker, but Reigns catches him, and looks to powerbomb him. Jericho won’t have it, though! He rolls through, locks the legs. WALLS OF JERICHO!!!! Reigns eventually turns this into a small package for a pin. 1..2…NO! Reigns sends Jericho over the top rope. Jericho lands on his feet, hits the corner He flies off the top, and Reigns hits a Superman Punch! Pin for 1…2…NO!! Reigns in the corner. He howls again, but misses the spear AGAIN. Jericho rolls through, and tries for the Walls one more time! Reigns twists out of it, rushes forward, and Jericho sends Reigns into the corner shoulder first! Jericho makes for the corner, removes the padding to the turnbuckle! The ref yells and goes to fix it, so Jericho hops out of the ring to grab the title.He’s back in the ring, tosses it to Reigns. Jericho lays down! He pulls an Eddie! The ref yells at Reigns as Reigns tries to explain it. The ref grabs the belt from Reigns, seemingly believing him. Jericho hops up. CODEBREAKER! Pin for 1..2….NO!!! Jericho is near tears because his plan failed. jericho with some kicks in the corner, stomping Reigns down. The ref holds Jericho back.
Jericho rushes the corner, hits the turnbuckle headfirst. Reigns with a spear. Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Roman Reigns
Maybe I’m sour because I wanted a Jericho win, but I didn’t really like that ending.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***
A recap of Neville and Swann’s match from 205 Live.
Match 7: Brian Kendrick vs TJ Perkins
Kendrick offers a handshake but TJ ain’t down. Brian rsuhes him with a hard kick. TJ with a crossbody and a pin for 1..2..NO! TJ does some fancy kicks, hits the ropes, and rushes with another kick. Pin for 1..2..NO! Neville is watching backstage. TJ with an uppercut. Whip to the ropes is cut short as Kendrick twists, pulls the arm, and flies out of the ring, pulling TJ’s arm with him. Pin in the middle of the ring for 1..2..NO! Kendrick with a Fisherman’s. Pin for 1..2..NO! Kendrick tries to lock on a submission from behind, but TJ with a kick to the side of the head. TJ with a back kick. TJ hits the top rope. Kendrick pushes him, and TJ is crotched. Kendrick pulls the chin, possibly looking for his submission off the top rope, but TJ hops off on the apron, then springboards into a hurricanrana. Kendrick goes to grab a boot, misses, and Kendrick shoves him into the 2nd turnbuckle.
Kendrick goes for Sliced Bread, but TJ reverses into a detonation kick! Knee bar! Pin for 1..2…3.
Winner: TJ Perkins
Short but pretty sweet.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **1/2
A week from Saturday, we are having a tournament for the first ever WWE United Kingdom Championship.
Big Cass and Enzo are here!!! YEEEEEEEE!!!
Enzo is rollin down in an electric wheelchair. Cass says he’s gonna drop both Mahal and Rusev himself.
Match 8: Big Cass vs Jinder Mahal and Rusev
Lockup to start. Cass sends Mahal in the corner and the ref pushes him back. Cass with a right then a clothesline. He beats down Jinder in the corner a bit until the ref tells him to stop. Cass sends Mahal into the corner face first. Cass whips Jinder, looks like a blind tag from Rusev. Cass fights Mahal, then Rusev, then sends Mahal to the outside. Rusev hits the ropes and eats a big boot! On the outside, Mahal slaps Enzo. He slaps him again! Cass goes out to stop him, then gets back in and tosses Rusev down.
Jinder distracts. Superkick from Rusev. Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Rusev and Jinder Mahal
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: 1/2*
Bayley goes for the legs, but Nia grabs her and tosses her away. Nia drops Bayley on her knee, back first, then squashes her in the corner. Nia grabs Bayley then whips her into the corner and hits a clothesline. Nia tosses Bayley down to the mat. Nia with a butt splash in the corner. She drags Bayley into the center of the ring and covers for 1..2..No! Nia grabs Bayley from behind, locks the arm up. Nia lifts Bayley and twists her like a rag doll. Bayley with a back elbow. Bayley stomps the foot. Nia is up, rushes the corner, but Bayley moves, and Nia hits the corner hard. She’s still on her feet, in shock. She rushes the corner again, and Bayley hits a boot to thw face. Nia squashes her up against the ropes then drops an elbow to the chest of Bayley. Another. Leg drop to the back of the neck of Bayley! Nia pulls Bayley towards the corner. Nia hops on the top rope.
Nia is looking to squash some Bayley, but SASHA BANKS’ music hits! Out comes The Boss! Bayley hops up to the top rope. BAYLEY TO BELLY! Pin for 1..2…..3!!!!
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: *1/2
Sasha smiles, congratulating Bayley. She lifts her arm up, proudly.
Oh my God, Kevin Owens has hired a man who is wearing a banner over his face reading “The Kevin Owens Show.” That is amazing.
Owens and Jericho are seated behind a table in the corner of the ring while Sign Guy stands as immobile as possible.
Owens brings up Jericho’s loss. Owens says his first guest needs no intor, then proceeds to introduce a legend of the Atittude Era, a man worthy of praise….Chris Jericho!
Jericho stands, claims a couple of seconds ago, all they were doing was chanting Goldberg. Do they want to see Goldberg? Do you know what happens when you chant Goldberg during the Kevin Owens Show? Tampa Bay has made the list…
Jericho then says that he has breaking news. He brings up Brock Lesnar and Goldberg as the #1 and #2 entrant into the Royal Rumble. #3? It’s Chris Jericho, bay bay!
Owens wonders why Jericho is in the match; what happens if he wins? Jericho says the best friends face each other at Mania, and they’re still champion. Co-Champions. Best Friends. It’s perfect. Owens says it’s not perfect. They both deserve to be the main event at Mania, but he doesn’t want to fight his best friend.
Goldberg is seemingly tired of it all, because his music hits and he makes his trek to the ring.
Goldberg wants to get this straight…Chris Jericho is #3 in the Royal Rumble match….that means “You’re FIRST!”
Owens tells Goldberg to have a seat in a nearby beach chair. Goldberg grabs the chair and tosses it. Jericho asks Goldberg if he knows what happens when he throws chairs around…..You wanna know?
Goldberg says yeah, he knows….SPEAR….JACKHAMMER! That’s what happens!
Owens wonders if he is supposed to be intimidated. Owens then tosses all of his furniture out of the ring. He gets in the face of Goldberg. Goldy tells Owens to take his shot. He doesn’t care who Goldberg is….
They are interrupted by…….PAUL HEYMAN!
He is here to give us all a spoiler for the Royal Rumble match. The spoiler? EAT. SLEEP. ELIMINATION. REPEAT. He says this over and over. Goldberg says he is going to take care of Brock at The Rumble, and either Owens or Reigns will have a date at Wrestlemania.
Owens calls him delusional, and here comes Roman Reigns…
Reigns says that both of them must be delusional, because they’re not winning anything at The Rumble. He then turns his attention to Goldberg. They go face to face. The crowd is more pro-Goldberg.
Another man wants in this game. BRAUN is here! Braun says that if anyone is winning the Royal Rumble match, it’s him. He enters the ring to go face to face to face with the big guys.
DOUBLE SPEAR TO BRAUN STROWMAN!!!
Reigns and Goldberg leave…