wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE RAW Report 1.25.16

January 25, 2016 | Posted by Tony Acero

It’s the RAW after the Rumble, and what an exciting Rumble it was! We had a debut of an inferior AJ, and an interesting choice of winner. Let’s see how they handle the first offical RAW on the raod to Wrestlemania!


RAW…..starts now.

Some clips of the Rumble that was start us off before Vince McMahon’s music hits. Stephanie is with him. Some boos pour out for Vince and Steph. Vince says he’s feeling damned good. Vince gloats about breaking Reigns in two, piercing his heart, and yanking his title away from him. He compares Reigns to us. I think i have nicer hair. Vince claims he has a confession. After some trepidation, he admits to enjoying the misery of others. He says we are miserable, but not nearly as much as Roman Reigns – and he’s going to stay that way. Steph says if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, and that’s exactly what they did last night.

Everyone was so sure Reigns was going to overcome the odds. It was going to be Reigns, or Ambrose, or maybe even Styles….pipe dream. We live in this fantasy world. We were eating out of the palm of their hands because they knew #30 was going to be Triple H.

Styles chant. Steph makes mention of it. Vince doesn’t care, just like everyone else, they’re going to end up at the bottom of Vince’s shoes. Steph says no one holds a candle to Triple H, and he works harder than anybody else on the roster. He’s a business man. He’s the greatest superstar in history, and also now he is the standard bearer, the measuring stick, and the champion. He is more than The Man, he is The Game.

Triple H is here. He’s suited up, wearing the title, lookin all kinds of spiffy. He’s grinning from ear to ear as he heads down the ramp. Stephanie hands Triple H a water bottle so he can do his spit thing. I’m thinking it’s a presex ritual as well.

Vince tells the crowd to bow down to the king. Triple H says it’s good to be King. He needs to hand it to one person from last night; Roman Reigns. Roman could be one of the most amazing atheletes H has ever seen, and he’s not kidding. He could be that good, but the thing is he “could be.” Today, he is not. There’s a reason for that. Reigns lacks one thing, and that one thing is respect. He doesn’t respect anything. He’s arrogant, cocky, great, but he needs to learn his place in life. H could put up with the fact that he thought he was better, and could put up with the disregard for authority, but H could not put up with the disrespect to Vince McMahon, because as far as Triple H is concerned, Vince might as well be God, because he created all of this. And until his dying breath, this is his religion, his law, and his church, and he’ll be damned if Roman Reigns disrespects him or his religion. Hallelujah.

Triple H knows that people wonder why Triple H needs to be champion, his time has passed. He’s had an amazing career ,championships, millions of dollars, had a successful transition, and we’d be right about all of that. He does not NEED to be WWE Champion, but he WANTS to be. Why is that? Because people like Roman Reigns want to be WWE Champion, and they don’t deserve it. So up until when he says so, H will be the Champion. Until everyone back there and here learns some respect, he will be Champion. Why? Because he says so, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it – including Roman Reigns.

The crowd chants lightly for Roman until Vince tells them to shut up. This disrespect is exactly what H is talking about, it’s what leads people like Reigns down the path he is on. It causes destruction, and we will conform or they will no longer exist.

Stephanie asks who H will face come Mania. Steph says tonight’s RAW will be action packed and by the end of tonight, they’ll announce the main event of Fastlane. The winner of the Fastlane Main Event will go on to face HHH at Mania for the title.

It took 17 minutes to get to that.

Chapter 3 of “The Grapes of Wrath” is a very long prose about dirt and a turtle. It has an undercurrent of metaphor and symbolism, and moments of beauty, but is lengthy for no sole purpose other than to show that the writer is capable of doing as much. After reading, you will not feel fulfilled, you will just wonder what the hell you just read, and wonder for years why it existed – if it was needed. It, like this paragraph, is nowhere nearly as worthless or a waste of time as the 17 minute promo that I just watched…

And it was about dirt…

Flo-Rida is in the crowd. Flo-Rida matters not.

Match 1: Dolph Ziggler vs Kevin Owens
Ziggler starts the match with a Superkick straight to Owen’s face! He covers for 1…2..NO! Owens rolls to the outside. Dolph follows and begins the beatdown with some rights. Owens grabs the head and tosses Ziggler into the barricade. He rolls back in the ring, struggling to stand. Ziggler struggles to get back in, so Owens helps him then hits a right hand. Stomps in the corner, followed by right hands. Owens backs up, whips Ziggler. Ziggler with a kick, then a standing dropkick. Owens, again, rolls to the outside to catch a breath.

Back after a break. Cole says it’s been a heck of a matchup, but we wouldn’t know. Owens locks a cravat on from behind. Ziggler struggles to escape and turns into the hold. He is on his feet with some right hands. A kick to the gut, Owens misses a clothesline, Ziggler goes for a Superkick, but Owens catches and spins Ziggler. Ziggler with a hit. Owens runs in the corner, but Ziggler moves and Owens hits the ring post. He turns. Fameasser. Pin for 1..2..NO! Ziggler locks the head, Owens gets him on his shoulders. Ziggler elbows out and locks in a Sleeper. Owens backs Ziggler into the corner, but Ziggler doesn’t let go. Owens backs him into the corner again. Ziggler falls off and down. Owens goes for the Cannonball, but Ziggler moves! Ziggler goes for a splash in the corner, but this itme Owens moves! GERMAN from Owens!!! Owens runs, and Ziggler hits a Superkick! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Ziggler with an attack in the corner. He tries to sit Owens up in the corner but can’t lift him. Ziggler hits some rights and tries again. Owens is on the top turnbuckle. Ziggler locks the head. Owens hooks the leg, Ziggler looks like he’s falling. Owens shoves him down, and Ziggler falls hard. Ziggler runs into a boot. Owens goes back to the top rope. Ziggler runs, grabs the head, but Owens drops to the apron and trips up Ziggler!

Owens heads back in. He sends Ziggler into the ropes. Pop-Up Powerbomb! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Official Result: Kevin Owens
Owens just keeps doing the little things that matter.
Rating: **

Backstage, Reigns is informed by JoJo of the opening segment. She sums it up in roughly 5 seconds. Reigns tells her to let Vince and H and DD know that he’s here, and he’s not leaving.

So, The Social Outcasts are here. They head to the ring quickly and coerce Flo-Rida into entering the ring. Heath says he doesn’t want to hurt him, ya hear? But, they will embarrass him. How about we have a little bit of a rap battle?

Flo-Rida takes the mic. He finds this insulting. Heath says he isn’t going to battle Flo-Rida, but his OG homie will. Meet “Bo-Rida!”

They drop a chain, some glasses, and a hat on Bo. He would like for us to check it

MY name is Bo, and I’m here to say
Flo-Rida’s disrespectful in a major way
You sucker punched my friend at WM 28,
But I’d be upset too if I was named after this awful state
You need to channel your negativity in a more productive manner
You hold an Ace high, but I have a Full House like my name is Danny Tanner.
BO-LIEVE!

Rose, Heath, and Axel celebrate like he just dropped knowledge.

PS: He did.

It’s Flo-Rida’s turn. He’s not nearly as awesome as Bo Dallas. He drops Flair’s name like he’s Wale, but he’s not.

Flo’s last line was pretty weak, and this only amplified by Cole claiming someone got “served.”

Anyway, Flo-Rida introduces The Dudley Boyz.

Match 2: The Dudley Boyz vs Bo-Rida and Mr. Perfect Flow
We’re in progress, and Flo-Rida is ringside for the Dudleyz. Bubba and D-Von hit a double flapjack on Axel. Dallas comes in the ring to eat an elbow by Bubba. Bo is wearing singlet. Interesting. It’s not flattering at all. Rose tries to interrupt, allowing Axel to take advantage and stomp Bubba down. I miss a few seconds due to BO Dallas spitting hot fire. Heath Slater hops on the apron to distract, but Flo-Rida hops on the apron and tosses Heath over the ropes. Slater mad dogs Flo, and starts talking some shit. He gets closer to Flo-Rida, who looks to strike.

Heath turns into a body slam by Bubba. D-Von is on the top rope. WAAAZZZUUPPP Drop. Axel enters the ring, D-Von ducks. 3D to Axel!!! D-Von covers. 1…2….3!!
Official Result: The Dudley Boyz

Rating: 1/2*

Cole mentions that Flo-Rida is having fun with The Dudleyz. Not like The Usos type of fun,but fun nonetheless..

Renee Young is backstage with Styles She wants to know who Styles is. He says he didn’t just make headlines, he turned the WWE Universe upside down. As far as who he is…

He’s cut off. Jericho is here. He knows exactly who Styles is. He’s been waiting a long time to have Styles here in the WWE. Jericho calls him the hottest free agent in the world today. He’s been everywhere but the WWE. Tonight, Styles gets a chance to make a huge impression against Chris Jericho. Tonight on RAW, for the first time EVER, Styles vs Y2J. Welcome to the big leaguees, kid. Jericho slaps his chest a little roughly.

Styles makes his entrance, shouting “This is where I belong.”

Loud TNA chant from the crowd.

LOLZ Just kidding.

Match 3: Styles vs Chris Jericho
Lockup to start. Jericho backs him into the corner. They roll to the adjacent corner. They break. Jericho with a side headlock. THIS IS AWESOME chant already. Jericho works the left arm. He twerks it, but Styles kips up out of it and hits an arm drag. He spreads his wings, and Cole calls it “Flamboyant.” -eye roll- Jericho lays in with some chops. He whips, and hits a back elbow. Whip is stopped, and JEricho hits another elbow. He hits the ropes. Styles follows, hits the ropes, flying clothesline. He drops an elbow to the back of Jericho’s head. Jericho with a splash in the corner. Whip to the corner, but Styles hops out of the ring onto the apron. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to Styles, knocking him off the apron down to the mat!

Jericho heads back in the ring. Jericho grabs him by the hair and sets up for a suplex. Jericho hits it. Cover for 1. NO! Styles with right hands. Chops to Jericho. Whip to Jericho. Styles runs into a boot. Jericho hops on the top rope. He hits a dropkick off the second rope! Jericho acts a bit heelish, saying “come on, kid.” He lifts up Styles. Styles hits some chops. Side headlock. Goes for rope work, but Jericho holds on. Whip. Reversed. Leap frog from Stlyes. He drops down as Jericho hops over. DROPKICK from Styles! Styles looks to fly, but he lands on the apron. Jericho trips him up and Styles hits the apron hard, face first.

Back from a break, and Jericho has a cravat locked on Styles in the middle of the ring. Styles hits some elbows to escape the hold. He hits the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and we get a double crossbody in the middle of the ring! Styles lays in some kicks. He sends Jericho into the corner. Styles runs with a splash and clothesline. Jericho responds with an elbow. He drops Styles down, looks for the Walls. Styles escapes, shoves Jericho to the ropes. He sets up for a body slam, but drops Jericho’s head on his knee instead! Nice. Pin for 1…2..NO! Jericho is up. Styles with a go behind. Jericho reverses. Northern Lights Suplex! Pin for 1..2..NO! Another bridge, but Styles bridges out of it. Backslide into a pin for 1..2..NO! Jericho with a running Enziguri! Jericho with a whip, he rushes the corner. Stlyes on the apron. He flies with a springboard forearm! Ouch! Pin for 1..2..NO! Styles grabs the head. Jericho with a right hand. Jericho hits the ropes. Styles hops up. Jericho grabs the arms. Walls of Jericho in the middle of the ring!!!! Styles reaches for the ropes. He uses the power of Dixie to scoot towards the ropes. He drags himself towards the ropes! He nearly taps, then finds some energy to make it to the ropes!! Jericho breaks the hold. He waits for Styles to stand. Jericho with a clothesline attempt, but Styles ducks. Pele kick! Styles goes to the top rope!

FROG SPLASH! But Jericho moves!! He hits the ropes. LIONSAULT! Knees up from Styles!!! Styles goes for Styles Clash!!! Jericho turns this into a rollup! 1..2..NO! Styles reverses into a pin of his own! 1..2…3.!!!
Official Result: Styles
They couldn’t give him a straight up pin? Maybe I’m nitpicking.
Rating: ***

The match is over. Jericho stands, looking defeated. Styles extends his hand out. Jericho looks at his cancerous, former TNA hand. Jericho extends his respect and shakes the hand of Styles. They hold on for a while, a lingering look. Styles goes to walk away, but Jericho pulls him in and scowls. He then heads out of the ring.

Match 4: Sasha Banks vs Sasha Banks vs Sasha Banks vs Sasha Banks vs Sasha Banks vs Sasha Banks
Sasha starts with some shit talking. It’s super effective. Becky shoots the legs and lays in with some rights. She sends Sasha in the corner. Springboard kick to the throat. Sasha tumbles to the apron. She hangs up Becky then sends her backfirst into the corner. Stomps from Sasha. Hit to the back of the head. Sasha hits the ropes. Right hand to Becky. NXT chant. Sasha squeezes the head of Becky. She yells for Becky to give up. Becky escapes then takes Sasha down for a pin. She gets a 1. Becky hits a few clotheslines. Kick to Sasha. She screams. Forearm in the corner. Exploder out of the corner. Cover for 1..2…NO! Sasha rolls towards the corner. Becky moves forward. Drop Toe Hold to Becky. Banks sets Becky up on the ropes, slaps the midsection. Sasha drops the knees on the midsection. Pin for 1..2..NO! Sasha locks up for a suplex, but Becky rolls through right into an arm bar!!!! Sasha turns this into a pin, 1..2..NO! Becky lets the hold go. Sasha shoves Becky into the ropes. Knees to the back! BANK STATEMENT!!! She has it locked in. CHARLOTTE IS HERE!!!

Charlotte breaks up the hold and we get a DQ ending.
Official Result: No Contest

Rating: *

Charlotte sends Sasha to the outside. She attacks Becky! Charlotte beats Becky down until Sasha heads into the ring. She goes straight after Charlotte, but Charlotte drops her too. Charlotte hits the ropes. Snapmare to Sasha Banks! Charlotte stands tall with her title, while Becky and Sasha both show signs of the Flair beatdown.

Goldust is backstage looking for R-Truth. He finds Truth’s headphones and puts them on. Goldust rocks out a bit. Truth heads in and Goldust has something to say to Truth. He says that now that the Royal Rumble is behind them, Goldust is in search of a new partner. He scoffs in Truth’s face. Truth says he’s a married man, sorry. There’s nothing wrong with that, but he doesn’t swing that way. Whatever floats Goldust’s boat, whatever toots his horn….Truth’s gotta go. He tells Goldust he’s got to go. Goldust says he is talking about a tag team partner, and Truth should think about it. Apparently the Tourette’s is back.

Match 5: Kane vs Bray Wyatt
Lockup to start. Bray sends her into the ropes. Kane hits a shoulder and Bray sends Kane into the corner. He stomps Kane down. Kane reverses and beats Bray up in the corner. Whip into a short clothesline. Kane hits the ropes. Kick to Bray, who rolls to the apron. Bray hits Kane, sending him into the center of the ring. ANother attack to Kane just before the break.

Back, and Cole is very specific to mention that this is Demon Kane. Kane hits a jawbreaker on Bray. Bray hits the ropes and crossbody’s Kane down hard. Wyatt hits the ropes. Tries for the Senton. Kane moves. Kane up. He hits a DDT on Bray. Kane with a splash in the corner. He whips Bray into the corner and hits another splash. Sidewalk Slam. Pin for 1..2..NO! The crowd has no interest in this match. Kane calls for the chokeslam. Bray turns into it. Kick fro mBray. He hits the uranage. Bray hits the corner, flies off of it, and runs right into a boot from Kane. Bray escapes the ring, but Kane follows. Right hand to Rowan. He whips Wyatt back in the ring and Harper is on the apron. Right to Harper Bray takes advantage and hits a clothesline.

Wyatt grabs Kane, sets up for Sister Abigail. Kiss to Kane. Hits it! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Official Result: Bray Wyatt
-yawn-
Rating: *

The Wyatt Family is not done. Strowman enters and locks the bearhug on Kane then sends him into a double slam by Harper and Rowan.

The major star that returns to RAW is in a limo backstage.

Backstage, we got that new little dude with the mic. He knocks on the window of the limo. The door opens. It’s The Miz. YAY! He’s back! Miz takes a walk. He calls this huge, saying it’s been three weeks. Ratings are spiking, social media is buzzing. A truck rushes in and a horn blares. It’s The Rock!

He is all smiles, walks by The Miz. Miz asks who Rock thinks he is. Rock doesn’t even look at him. He finally does, and asks how Miz is doing. He calls Miz a flying nun, tosses him the keys to his truck, and asks Miz to park it. Rick Ross is backstage, randomly. The Rock says what’s up. 305 Boyz. They are live in Miami. The Rock continues his walk, and runs into The Big Show who is looking up Pornhub.

The Rock tells Show that just last night he was watching the Rumble that they were in. The Rock won. The Big Show says he actually won that Rumble. The Rock agrees, says he should have won. That’s crazy right? Imagine how different it would be? The director of The Mummy Returns watched that Rumble and said whoever won was going to be The Scorpion King. This all could have been The Big Show. Show looks to cry. Rock says “such is life, right?” Show breaks the laptop in his hands. The Rock calls it awesome. “That’s what you do, you break things!” lol. Ok, Rock. He tells Show he loves him. Says “You alright.”

The Rock is heaaded out, but takes a quick stop, presumably for some pie. He hears the crowd chant his name. He asks for a moment, then saunters over towards…..

LANA

The Rock says the last time they were together, they were in Brooklyn. Remember when Lana came to Rock’s hotel room and surprised her. She said that she didn’t wanna be with Rusev. Lana brought out the wine, they got drunk and did those special exercises. She showed him how to do the one-legged Russian vacuum, and Rock showed her the Wisconsin Wheelbarrow. Lana quickly says no she does not. Rusev is behind The Rock. Rock wonders if they are still together. Lana says that they are engaged to be married. Rock is elated. He hugs Lana, kisses her cheek. Says she’s going to be an amazing wife. She tells Rusev that Lana’s flexible as all hell. “You alright,” again to Lana.

The Rock then speaks directly to the camera. He tells Pat Patterson Happy Birthday. The Rock narrates his day up until the guerilla position appears. The Rock says right outside these curtains, thousands of people are ready. He asks if they are ready. Loud cheers. Miami is ready, the world is ready. It’s an honor and privelage to always say…FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK…………..

……
……
……
……
……
……
……
……

HOME.

He counts down his music, and finally makes his proper entrance.

Some ladies are in the crowd screaming like they’re Tanya James.

The Rock asks his hometown if they’re ready for Wrestlemania? The Rock is ready as well as the entire roster. He plans on going to Mania, and he’s going to break records. JBL is ready. Cole is ready. That other black dude who Rock does not know is….

Byron looks severely confused.

The Rock smiles, then stops, then looks again.

WELCOME BACK chant turns into a Randy Savage chant. The Rock seems confused. He looks into the crowd. The Rock gives a nod to someone. He says this is the time where they go off the script. He heads to ringside. A man is dressed as The Undertaker. The guy who plays Hogan, and introduces himself as “Brother.” He skips over Randy Savage and asks John who he is playing – obviously The Rock. He finally heads to the Savage, claps hands. He allows the guy to say he is Macho Man in one of the worst renditions of said character. The Rock heads back in the ring.

Back to Mania, The Rock says that’s later. He wants to talk about tonight.

THE POWER OF POSITIVITY IS HERE!!!!!

New Day cuts off The Rock, and out come the Tag Team Champions! BIG E twerks somethin while Woods and Francesca dance, and Kofi skips as only he can.

Woods tells Rock to relax a little bit. As far as that “Black guy” that Rock doesn’t know? His name is Byron Saxton, and he’s the greatest commentator at the booth now. “Watch the product.”

Hahahahaha

Kofi wants to talk about the black guys that The Rock DOES know. The New Day! Three men who whooped The Lucha Dragons, The Dudleyz, and just last night….whooped The Rock’s cousins, The Usos. New Day hit them so hard that when they walk north, they’re looking south.

Kofi says that Rock calls himself The People’s Champion, but Kofi is looking at Rock, and he doesn’t see any gold. Where’s The Rock’s gold? You know who does have gold? NEW DAY! Woods breaks it down, says that they are the WWE World Tag Team Champions! They mock The Rock tongue.

The Rock waits like a patient professor ready to drop knowledge.

Big E calls Rock a smart man, because much like Lebron James, who moved from Miami to Cleveland, The Rock left this dumpster fire of a town to Hollywood. He took the money and got the hell out of here. The Rock didn’t do it for the people, he did it for the paycheck. GOTIIIIMMM.

The Rock waits for the crowd to get over their Rocky chant then says here’s the thing. The Rock knows who they are, they’re the tag team champions, they are extremely entertaining, but here’s what’s amazing. The fact that they’re THAT entertaining while still wearing llama penises strapped to their head. New Day wonders if they can say that on tv while the crowd chants “LLAMA PENIS.”

Woods tells Rock that they’re unicorn horns. Rock says they’re corns alright. The Rock isn’t done. He says “The Big one is getting upset. She’s upset. Big momma didn’t like that!” hahaha.

He calls BIg E so big and so strong, yet so nerdy. It’s almost as if The Incredible Hulk banged Urkel.

The Rock wants to make this clear; this is a ring, those are ropes, that’s a ramp, these ar the people. How about New Day walks down, enter the ring, and let The Rock take the trombone and shove it up all three of their candy asses.

New Day wants to have a Champion’s Huddle.

The Rock says they’re looking like three uni-bitches in a circle.

Woods says if The Rock wants to get real, too bad because they don’t deserve it. Goodbye.

The Rock stops them. He gets it; New Day isn’t used to this. The Rock had a plan coming out here. Clearly, plan a didn’t work, but Plan B always works. Kofi wants Rock to explain. Rock says Plan B is…Family.

The Usos are here! They attack New Day and send Big E into the ring. ROCK BOTTOM to Big E! Kofi is next. He gets a Samoan Drop from one of The Usos. Woods is sent into the ring. Woods sees The Rock, and tries to apologize. He turns to run, but gets a Double Superkick. SPinebuster from The Rock! People’s Elbow!!

The Rock thanks Miami, and asks if we can smell what he is cooking.

The following match is brought to you by Total Divas.

Match 6: Paige and Natalya vs Brie and Alicia Fox
Alicia hits a knee to the gut. She works the arm. Nattie rolls out of it and flips, then reverses and hits a go-behind. Alicia looks fo ra tag to Brie. She hits a booty bump, then back flips and grabs Nattie with her legs, tossing her over her head. Tag to Brie, who hits a running clothesline. Pin for 1..2.NO! Brie pulls the arms behind Nattie and pulls back on the chin. Natties tries to fight out, so Brie just drops her on her head. Pin for 1..2.NO. Brie with a hard kick to the chest of Nattie. Another. More. Brie hits the ropes. Dropkick to Nattie. BRIE MODE!

Brie runs for the knee, but Nattie moves to the side! Nattie goes for a tag. Gets it eventually. Paige enters and hits a kick to Brie’s face. She runs with a knee. Cover for 1..2..NO! Paige grabs the legs and locks up Brie with the PTO!!! Alicia runs in with a kick to Paige! Natalya with a spinning punch to Alicia, sending her to the outside. Paige with the suplex attempt. Nevermind, it’s the Rampaige. Pin for 1..2…3!!!


Official Result: Natalya and Paige
-ugh-
Rating: 1/2*

The Miz is so sick of being interrupted. Whether it’s Miz TV or The Rock, or any other —–

The United States Champion, Kalisto is here to interrupt!

Match 7: Kalisto vs The Miz
The Miz has his angry face on. He rushes Kalisto with a kick to the head. Stomps in the corner. Miz backs up, whips to the opposite corner. Kalisto reverses and hits a crossbody. Kicks to the thighs. Miz shoves Kalisto, but Kalisto kicks. Hurricanrana sends Miz to the outside. Kalisto hits the ropes. Suicide Dive! Kalisto sends MIz into the ring. Kalisto with a crossbody and ap in for 1..2..NO! Side headlock to Miz. Miz reverses and locks one in of his own. Miz hits a shoulder tackle off of the ropes. Miz hits the ropes and gets taken down by Kalisto, who rolls over the back of Miz and grabs the head. Miz flips him over his head, but Kalisto lands on his feet. Dropkick to the Miz. Kalisto on the apron. High kick to the face. Springboard crossbody. Pin for 1..2..NO! Miz rolls to the outside.

We are back, and Miz misses a kick and Kalisto tries to turn it into a pin to no avail. Miz does end up getting a pin, though, but it’s short lived. Miz backs Kalisto into the corner and stomps the little man down. Miz backs up, runs for his clothesline in the corner. Miz goes to the top rope. He sits under the Mania sign, waits, then hits a double axe-handle. Cover for 1..2..NO! Miz with a cravat from behind. Kalisto tstomps Miz’s feet. He hits a few gut punches, then eats a neckbreaker, but Kalisto gets a backslide for 1..2..NO! Miz with a hard kick and a pin for 1..2..NO! Kalisto reverses for 1..2…NO! Miz escapes then drops an elbow to Kalisto. Miz is distracted by the crowds chants. He finally goes to grab Kalisto, but Kalisto kicks him in the head. Double kick to Miz. Kalisto on the apron. He swings up and kicks Miz in the face. Springboard seated senton. Kalisto with the super spicy spinning burrito punch! Pin for 1..2..NO! Kicks to Miz in the chest. He hits the ropes, goes for a hurricanrana, but Miz grabs the legs and sends Kalisto off his shoulders. Miz turns. DDT to Kalisto! Cover for 1..2..NO! Kalisto is slow to stand. Miz with the double underhook.

Kalisto uses the ropes to scale up and over. Salida Del Sol!!! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Official Result: Kalisto
JBL hates Kalisto like he’s Rey Mysterio now.
Rating: **

Match 8: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns vs Rusev and Sheamus (w/ Wade Barrett and Alberto Del Rio)
Reigns and Sheamus to start. Reigns with the rights in the corner. He’s beating down Sheamus until the ref stops him. Sheamus with a kick. He hits the back of Reigns, then an uppercut. Another. Sheamus hits the ropes, stops short and turns into a clothesline by Reigns. Tag to Ambrose who runs in with a dropkick. Tag to Reigns. Reigns with a clothesline out of the corner. Rusev enters and eats an uppercut for his troubles. Ambrose runs in and sends Rusev to the outside. He goes to the top rope and flies off the corner onto Sheamus and Rusev.

We’re back, and Sheamus is being boring. Sheamus whips Reigns into the corner, hits the ropes, and eats a clothesline from Reigns. Reigns is able to get a tag. He ducks a clothesline, attacks the head, chest thrust. Whip, ducks and hits a clothesline again then some rights. Ambrose hops off the corner for NO reason, goes for a bulldo, but Sheamus escapes. Ambrose sends Sheamus over the top rope then hits a suicide dive. Del Rio and Barrett look to attack, but the ref stops it. Ambrose hops to the corner, but Barrett grabs the leg and Rusev sends him down to the floor. Del Rio sends Ambrose over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Rusev is outside, and he tosses Ambrose into the barricade a few times. He rolls Ambrose into the ring. Cover for 1…2…NO! Rusev goes all Bad Ass Bulgarian on Ambrose and hits a gutwrench suplex. Pin for 1..2..NO! Tag to Sheamus. Sheamus with a kick to the chest. Sheamus with an Irish Curse backbreaker! Again! A third and a cover for 1..2..NO! Ambrose escapes a chin lock and attacks the pasty midsection of Sheamus. Sheamus lifts Ambrose, preventing a tag, and hits a clothesline in the corner. Tag to Rusev. Rusev attacks the back. He drops an elbow on Ambrose. Another. A third. Pin for 1..2…NO! Rusev, from behind, locks in a submission. Ambrose fights out, turns, attacks the midsection and back, then hits a back suplex. Ambrose rolls to the outside. Rusev follows and sends Ambrose back in the ring. Tag to Sheamus. He grabs Ambrose off the apron and starts the beatdown. Both men end up on the outside, but Ambrose hits a clothesline from out of nowhere. Ambrose enters the ring. He flies fo ra tag to Reigns. Tag to Rusev. Clothesline to Rusev. Another. Whip to Rusev, reversed, but Reigns flies over with a sunset, nevermind, Big kick to Rusev. Reigns sends Sheamus off the apron. He sends Rusev to the outside. Reigns runs, uses the steps for an elevated clothsline, but Sheamus moves. Samoan Drop to Sheamus on the outside! Drive by to Rusev! Reigns sends him in the ring. Clotheslines in the corner. Superman Punch is ready. Del RIo hops up. Barrett does, too. The distractions lead to a kick fro mRusev. Another. Tag to Sheamus. BROGUE KICK!! Pin for 1…2…NO! Ambrose saves the match with an interruption. Rusev rushes forward, but Dean moves and Rusev flies to the outside. Ambrose on the apron, flies off with a clothesline. Whip to Reigns in the ring.

SPEAR!!!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose
Somewhat formulaic
Rating: **1/2

After the match, Dean begins deconstructed the announce table. Reigns looks over to Rusev. Ambrose grabs Rusev and brings him over to the announce table. Reigns stands on the table. Ambrose sets Rusev on the table. Ambrose follows. He lifts Rusev up to place him on Reign’s shoulders. POWERBOMB to Rusev INTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!

Ambrose and Reigns stand atop the announce table, proud.

Steph’s music hits. She says this is impressive, and since The Authority does what’s best for business, she has an announcement. She brings up that Triple H will be defending against the winner of the main event come Fast Lane. That match?

Dean Ambrose vs Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar

Michael Cole pops a blood vessel by way of pure shock and awe.

End Show.

article topics :

411's WWE RAW Report, Tony Acero