411’s WWE RAW Report 11.23.15

It’s RAW BINGO! Everyone who e mailed me over the last two weeks should have their card! Pay close attention to the show, and have fun!

RAW!
IS!
BINGO!

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Remember how RAW ended last week? I hated it so much, I wrote about it! Be sure to check out What Paige and Charlotte Did Wrong!!

Oh, yes. RAW.

Well, it starts with recaps! I’m sure that’s a square.

We are welcomed to RAW by Michael Cole. Immediately, The Authority’s music hits, and for the first time in a long time, some of you are hoping for an opening that lasts longer than ten minutes.

Timer starts……now.

Steph welcomes us to RAW. She said life is defined by opportunity. Those who sieze it, miss it, and those who let it pass through their hands. That’s right, two weeks ago, H offered Reigns an opportunity that virtually insured he’d be champion at this moment. All he had to do was shake H’s hand, and show the faith in the company the same way the company had faith in him. What Roman chose was to tell Triple H to shove the opportunity. For some, their lucky if opportunity knocks once. For Reigns, it’s knocked a few times. Reigns turned it down last night as well. H offered a congratulations, and Reigns speared him. Triple H says “buried” and it gives me chills. H wants all of us to learn from this. This is a life-lesson. Our lives are defined by opportunities – the ones you sieze, and he ones you miss. He wants to introduce us to a man that knows how to sieze opportunity.

HHH introduces Sheamus, and here he is, wearing no pants. Sheamus calls this a moment, claims it doesn’t get any better than this. He thanks us for booing. He appreciates this. There is nothing we can say to ruin his moment. Last night, Reigns made it to the top of the mountain, but he didn’t stay because he Brogue Kicked him right off. Historians know that the Roman Empire lasted five hundred years, but this one lasted roughly five minutes and fifteen seconds. He asks H if he saw Reigns reaction last night. When Brutus stabbed Caesar, at least he rolled over and died like a man. OK….

Sheamus told each and every one of us that he was just one Brogue kick away from becoming the next WWE Champion. He has one question for the entire WWE Universe…..WHO LOOKS STUPID NOW?!!?

The answer, according to the crowd, is still Sheamus.

Triple H interjects, and says Sheamus doesn’t look stupid, he looks like the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. They hug.

Roman Reigns has something to say about this.

Sheamus mocks Reigns reign, effectively raining on Reigns parade.

Reigns gets in the face of Sheamus, and he’s smiling far too much for my liking. He congratulates Sheamus. The crowd is pro-Reigns. He tells Nashville that Reigns wants his rematch tonight.

YES! Chant! That’s a box!

Segment has officially surpassed 10 minutes! That’s a box!

Steph says that Reigns opportunity to make demands was lost when he speared Triple H, so this is what Steph wants…she wants Reigns to get out of her ring.

Reigns looks confused. Is Triple H standing behind Stephanie because he’s afraid of Reigns?

Steph steps aside. Triple H has his super serious business face on. Roman steps forward.

The stare lasts longer than my first time.

Triple H is about to say something, but Reigns steps forward even closer. Triple H congratulates Reigns on the spear last night. How’d that work out for Reigns? This is why he’s no longer the champion. H says Reigns will get his rematch when HE says he will. It sure as hell won’t be tonight.

Triple H and Stephanie leave the ring and, from out of nowhere, RUSEV with a SUPERKICK!!!!

Reigns struggles. Stands. Brogue Kick to Reigns!!! Rusev shouts obscenities – or menu items – in Bulgarian. He and Sheamus shake hands.

Nashville, stupidly, tries to start a USA chant. The hell?

Well, fifteen minutes in, and already a few boxes should be filled!

Triple H on the ramp, says pride is a bitch. Triple H says the rematch will happen at the TLC PPV in a TLC match.

Steph says the closest Reigns will get the title is when Sheamus is in the corner of Rusev tonight in his match against Reigns.

-Commercial Break-

A promo that means nothing just before this match.

Match 1: The Dudley Boyz vs The Wyatt Family (Bray and Luke Harper)
Harper enters first. He and Bubba are going to start, apparently, as Luke attacks just before the bell. Bell rings, and Bubba tries to fight back. Harper gets Bubba in the corner. Bubba tries to fight out, but Harper hits a shoulder. Bubba hits the back, so Harper hits another one. Right hand out of the corner. An elbow to the head. All from Bubba, but Harper hits a throat thrust and mauls Bubba down on the mat. Harper pulls the bnose from behind, then shoves D-Von down on the apron. He turns into a clothesline. Another from Bubba. Whip to the corner. Another. Boot to the face. Tag to D-Von. We get a double whip into a flapjack! They set up for the back suplex, neckbreaker combo! Wyatt pulls Harper out of the ring.

Back after a break, and The Wyatt Family is back in control. Harper drops a boot on D-Von, then grabs the head and hits an uppercut. D-Von fires back with a right, another. Harper with an uppercut. D-Von falls against the ropes. Tag to Bray. He comes in with a kick to the chest. Snapmare, and Wyatt cinches the shoulder. D-Von turns into the hold, hits a few elbows, attacks the forehead, then gets hit by a chop. Suplex from Bray Wyatt, then he runs for a senton. D-Von moves, and Wyatt lands right on his cocyx. Tag to Bubba. Tag to Harper! Bubba in with a right, another, onem ore! Whip to the ropes, and Harper goes up and over with a back body drop! Clothesline! Another! Bubba with the left jabs! Bubba with a Rock Bottom! He yells for Wyatt to enter the ring.

Rowan gets on the apron. Bubba knocks him off! He turns into a huge clothesline from Harper! Pin for 1…2..3!!!
Official Result: The Wyatt Family
Cole asks if that was enough redemption for The Wyatt Family. The answer is no.
Rating: *

After the match, Rowan goes in and hits D-Von with the Full Nelson Slam. Braun enters and grabs Bubba in a bear hug, then drops his lifeless body. Bray acts all crazy in the corner like he didn’t just get his ass handed to him less than 24 hours ago. Bray grabs D-Von from Harper and Rowan, and hits Sister Abigail.

Cole and JBL verbally fellate The Undertaker, and we get a recap of the 25 year thing going on. They splice in the panel of H, HBK, and SCSA with JBL.

Team BAD is here! The Boss is front and center.

Match 2: Sasha Banks vs. My Feelings for AJ Lee
Sasha plugging her ears to Becky’s music is awesome. Lockup to start, and Becky tosses Sasha across, only for her to land on her feet. Lockup again, and Sasha shoves Becky down hard, then hits some right hands off the mount. She drops a leg to the back of the head then drops her ass on the back of Becky. She pulls the hair. Becky hits a right hand to the stomach, then some forearms. Whip is reversed but Becky locks the head, only for Sasha to drop her across the ropes and hit the double knees to the gut. Cover for 1..2..NO! Sasha chokes up Becky on the apron, then hits a knee to the face. She stalks Becky towards the corner then hits some kicks, leaving Becky in a seated position. Sasha chokes Becky up on the ropes again, as her team members watch on. Ref stops Sasha, and Tamina hits a right hand to the face while he’s not looking. Cover from Sasha for 1..2..NO! Sasha with knees to the back, then she pulls the arms back from behind. Becky strengths out of the hold but Sasha whips her. Becky hits a kick, ducks a clothesline, and gets a rollup for 1..2..NO! She flips Sasha to the ropes, then hits a few uppercuts. Becky blocks a right, hits a clothesline, again. One more. dropkick. Body slam attempt, but Sasha reverses, only for Becky to hit a nice T-Bone. She rushes the corner, but Sasha kicks out the corner. She goes to grab Becky, but Becky grabs the arm! DISARMER!!! Tamina hops on the apron! The ref goes to stop her. Naomi grabs Sasha’s leg and drags her towards the ropes!

The ref notices the rope break, and calls for the break! Becky realizes what happened and goes to yell at Naomi, allowing Sasha Banks to rollup and hold the tights for the 1…2..3!!!
Official Result: Sasha Bank
Could this be…
Rating: **

Cole and JBL try and say Sasha may be next in line, but they’re cut off by Paige backstage. She says that she’s next in line and she’s going to show how Charlotte is a cheater. Cole interrupts and asks how she cheated. Paige yells for him not to interrupt. She says that we don’t know about this world. Before Cole interrupts again, she is going to show some footage from last night. We get the end of the women’s match where Charlotte has the hold on her, all while her arms are underneath the bottom rope. Paige says she hates the way Charlotte walks around thinking she is a someone. She is just like her dad, a Dirty Player, and Paige is about to show her and us that she is nothing but an embarrassment, just like her daddy.

Paige got her some fire…

The New Day’s First Anniversary Country Music Jamborie and WWE Tag Team Championship Open Challenge is next!! I LOVE THE FACT THAT I HAD TO TYPE THAT ENTIRE THING OUT!!!

New Day comes out riding Unicorns! Well, unicorns on sticks! Big E has a litte red hat, and rope.

Kofi has a horn in his hair. He calls out Music City. It’s a very special time of year, because this is the official one year anniversary of The New Day! Woods says they’re turning one! Big E says “Yippee Kiyaay Mutha—” SHUT YO MOUTH! Kofi says that New Day is being forced to spend their one year anniversary in the capital of….

Big E: “In the capital of….*spews*”

Woods tries: “Capital of…COUNTRY MUSIC?!?! EW!”

Kofi calls this terrible, because New Day is about the power of positivity, and when it comes to Country Music…it sucks. Big E calls it awful. Kofi goes country for a bit, and Woods plays the trombone. Big E talks of his pickup truck. Kofi’s dog ran away, and he needs a new girlfriend. Big E wants to know how many songs are there about tractors? Kofi says no one wants to hear about them. If there’s one thing we’ve learned about The New Day, is that the power of positivity is your friend.

MESSAGE.

This is why The New Day wants to show all of us what Country Music should sound like. Woods sings a beautiful song, “Momma don’t let your babies grow up to beeeeeeeeeee BOOOOTTTYYYY!!!”

They bring up Country music sucking again. Kofi says this is him, not his character – Country Music sucks!

Woods claims that they have been inspired by the Power of Opportunity, and want to allow an Open Challenge for their titles.

The Lucha Dragons are here, and they have something to say. Kalisto says New Day doesn’t rocks, he says NEW DAYRUNS. He tries to start the chant. In all seriousness, Kalisto says that if the challenge is real, then they are serious about taking that challenge. Sin Cara on the mic, says Happy Anniversary, and the Luchas enter the ring.

We get a staredown. New Day backs up, and is about to leave the ring but here’s The Usos!

The Usos say WHOA a bunch of times. WOods says they don’t deserve an opportunity at their title. Usos bring up the fact that the challenge was open. Kofi says this was just a figure of speech. The Usos are not ready for a title match. The Usos say they’re ready, and Nashville’s ready for it, too.

Sin Cara tells Usos to calm down, because they were out here first but Sin Cara says the more the better. He says to make this a Triple Threat.

Usos enter the ring. BIG E says “ENOUGH” and that they have all ruined their jamboree. This was supposed to be a celebration. Kofi yells SHAME to each team. haha. Tonight was about them, and these two teams have made it about them. Woods says that NO ONE gets a shot at their titles now. The challenge has officially been cancelled. One of The Usos cheap shots Woods as The Lucha Dragons attack Big E and Kofi. They double team Big E, sending him to the outside. Attack on Woods that I miss, because I had to take a bite of this monstrosity:

*Brock Lesnar is not affiliated with 411mania or Tony Acero*

I hear it was a Superkick Party, though!

Some flashes of New Day Awesomeness, but overall a rare miss in my opinion.

According to The Authority, we’re getting a Divas Title rematch.

The Divas champ is backstage with Renee! Does Charlotte have anything to say? Charlotte says she always has and will respect Paige as a competitor. She knows the type of person Charlotte is, and she knows it’s not over. Charlotte says Paige can moan, cry, politic all she wants, but she’ll be facing Paige tonight. WOOO.

That promo made no sense.

Mark Henry is here to lose.

Wait, he’s facing Neville…maybe not.

Match 3: Neville vs Mark Henry
Neville circles Henry a bit. Neville with a kick to the thigh. He ducks a clothesline and gets another kick in. Henry gets him cornered, though, and tosses him into the turnbuckle. Headbutts drive Neville down to the mat. Henry smirks a bit, then lifts Neville up like a good sportsman. Neville with forearms!!! Henry shoves Neville back hard. Uh-oh! Henry tosses Neville across the ring like nothing. Neville rolls to the outside. He gets up on the steps while Henry struggles with his anger issues. Neville gets to the top rope and goes for a crossbody, but Henry catches him! He goes for The World’s Strongest Slam, but Neville floats off on his feet. Henry rushes the corner, and Neville side steps.

High kick to the head!!! Mark Henry falls down. Neville goes up top! RED ARROW! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Official Result: Neville
I hate when they try and do a Chapter 1 when there were so many issues beforehand…
Rating: NR

It should be noted that Backstage, The Miz was watching this match.

After the match, Neville is about to head up the ramp, but the big man Henry is in the way. Henry extends his hand in respect. He tells Neville he’s gonna be good, and playfully gives him a slap in the face. Neville nods in agreeance and respect.

Stardust decides to cut a promo. He mentions Cesaro, then says Goldust might as well be an atom whizzing by at a—-

He’s cut off by Titus O’Neil who claims he must have taken a wrong turn. He loves Stardust’s place. He brings up constellation. Titus brings up his favorite one, Titanium. Stardust says there is no such thing. Titus tries to show him where it is, then barks in his ear.

So tonight, Stardust and The Ascension will face Primetime Players and Goldust.

Cole tries to make Goldust’s return important, but the WWE screwed that pooch.

Match 4: Stardust and The Ascension vs Goldust and The Primetime Players
Cody and Goldust to start. Cody thinks better of this, and tags in Conor. Victor wants in, so they stall more, and tag him in. Lockuop to start, and Victor backs Goldust in the corner. Whip to Goldy who floats over, kicks, and breathes in heavily. Uppercut to the chin. Victor misses a clothesline, and Goldust hits an arm drag. He pulls Victor into the corner, and tags in Young. Young with a big leg drop and a pin for 1..2..NO! Tag to Titus. Titus is in and suplexes Young onto Victor. Titus with a hard chop to Victor. Crowd wants one more. And they get it in the Face corner. TItus tags in Young. Young with a whip to the corner. He runs into an elbow. Victor tags in Cody, who runs right into a Belly to Belly Suplex from Young! Nice. Pin for 1..NO! Kick from Cody. Cody attacks the abck, misses a clothesline, and runs into a right hand. Young is looking for his finisher, but he’s close to the ropes, and Victor interferes. Young knocks him off the apron, and Cody apparently gets a tag. Victor with a kick on the outside, then he rolls in and pins for 1..2…NO! Tag to Conor, who catches Young off a slingshot and slams him down hard. Pin for 1..2…NO! Conor with a back kick to the face. Conor drops an elbow and pins for 1…2.NO! Conor with a cravat from behind. He screams, so it’s more powerful. Kind of like a PTO on an announce table. Titus backs Young into the corner, and Stardust gets a tag. Young sits on the 2nd rope. Cody pulls his neck into the ropes. Cody barks and Goldy. Young tries to leave the ring. Does. Cody follows. Attacks the back. Young slides in the ring, looks for a tag, but Cody stops him. Kick to the back, then the face. Stomp to the right hand. Cody slaps Youn around a bit then drops an axe handle on the back. Cody chokes Young with the book. The Cody chants confuse Stardust. Stardust shoves Young in the corner, but Young fights out! He goes for a tag, but Cody whips him back into the Heel corner. YOung is able to kick out of the corner. He uses the ropes to get him across the ring then flies for a tag to Titus! Tackle to Conor! He shoves Victor off the apron. Clothesline to Conor! BARK! BIG BOOT to Conor! Cody enters, but Goldust follows and clotheslines him to the outside! Victor is next, but Titus sends him to the apron, where Young hits a back suplex!

Conor flies off the top rope! Titus with the Clash of the Titus! Pin for 1…2..3!!!
Official Result: The Primetime Players and Goldust
Sweet Ending
Rating: **

Zeb and Del Rio are here. Zeb wants to make something clear. Just because Del Rio wasn’t successful last night doesn’t mean MexAmerica is a failure. Quite the contrary. What last night was, was Growing Pains. He brings up another young country – America. Zeb says America is in trouble. Out of the kindness of their heart, they left MexAmerica open. This was not received very well. We did what Americas do best. We went to Twitter, Facebook, hashtagging, Grindr….hahahahaha

We complained and became a bunch of haters.

Del Rio cuts a promo on Mexicans. I’d translate, but I don’t want to. Just assume he said we ain’t shit. The crowd WHATs Del Rio. Zeb calls Del Rio’s promo beautiful Zeb wants to translate. They tried to teach us humility, tolerance, a lot of things we don’t have now, but we did not listen. So, Zeb is terminating all work and charity that they tried to do. Del Rio says to hell with all of us. From now on, the borders of MexAmerica are closed forever. Zeb reiterates this. He brings up an old saying; you can lead a horse to water, but can’t make em “think.” Uh….it’s drink. Zeb says he doesn’t see bravery out in the crowd. Zeb is about to go in on Freedom, but someone has had enough.

Jack Swagger is here! Swagger is shaking his head in disappointment as the crowd chants for USA. Swagger says he can’t believe what he is hearing. Zeb used to stand for something. Well Jack, now he’s not even standing. These people looked up to that just like him. Now, look at him. Zeb turns his back on the country? Swagger calls Zeb an old, bitter, out of touch hypocrite. Del Rio calls Swagger a stupid American. Zeb calls him a hater. Swagger says he promised to protect this country against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. If Del Rio doesn’t like what Swagger’s gotta say, why doesn’t Del Rio do something about it?

Del Rio holds his title out as Swagger enters the ring. Del Rio exits the ring to some boos. He and Zeb head to the back.

Swagger has one more thing to say. He asks for everyone to please rise, put your hand over our heart, and say “We the People!”

Cole describes the colors the girls are wearing for the following match, just in case you don’t know who is who…

Match 5: WWE Divas Title Match
Paige vs Charlotte
Lockup to start. The lockup is broken up against the ropes. Charlotte with a right slap. Paige retorts with one of her own. They trade some slaps, until Charlotte drops Paige on her face. Charlotte with the front face headlock. Paige tries to escape, but Charlotte won’t allow it. She works the left arm. Paige gets to the ropes, and Charlotte breaks the hold. Paige heads to the apron and hangs onto the ringpost, taking a short break. The ref yells for Paige to enter the ring, and Paige screams no. She is about to enter, and Charlotte goes for her. Paige backs up and gets back on the apron. Charlotte brings Paige nack in the hard way. Charlotte pulls her into the corner. Stomp to Paige. Charlotte with a headlokc. She drives knees into Paige’s chest, then a raised knee sends Paige on her back. Charlotte hits the ropes and drops a knee to Paige! Charlotte does the Flair strut then covers for 1..2..NO! Charlotte with a forearm from behind. She locks in a head scissors. She tursn the hold and flips Paige over, again, one more time, and a kip up. Paige struggles to stand in the corner. Charlotte goes for a forearm, but Paige side steps. She runs into a boot. Charlotte goes to the top rope, but Paige pulls the foot out from under her, and Charlotte hits the top turnbuckle with the back of her head. Siiiiick. Cover for 1…2..NO!

Charlotte is stuck in the corner. Paige with stomps. Paige runs…but Charlotte gets a leg up! Paige ducks, pulls the leg out, and crosses them! Paige pulls on the neck of Charlotte, and we’ve got a submission hold! Paige’s knee is driven into the side of Charlotte. Charlotte reaches for the ropes! She’s almost there. She’s getting there. She reaches the 2nd rope. Paige releases the hold. Charlotte sands wih an elbow, but Paige kicks the midsection. Paige hangs Charlotte up on the 2nd rope and hits a bunch of knees. Paige enters, goes for a hard knee to the face of Charlotte, then covers for 1..2..NO! Another cover for 1..2..NO! Paige with a head scissors this time. She cinches the hold. Charlotte raises herself, trying to get a pin on Paige. Paige releases at 1. Suplex to Charlotte, bouncing her leg on the ropes! Paige locks Charlotte’s leg on the bottom rop! She attacks the back of Charlotte. Charlotte misses a chop. Paige with a chop of her own. She then kicks Charlotte on the chest! Pin for 1..2..NO! Paige drops the leg hard on the mat. Charlotte looks for a spear-like move, but Paige stops her and grabs the head. She goes for another suplex, dropping the leg on the ropes. Paige reverses something and mounts Charlotte. Headbutt to Charlotte. She pins for 1..2..NO! Paige grabs the leg, pins her foot between calf and thigh, and pulls back on the foot! Charlotte is somewhat contorted. Paige locks a choke hold in, and mounts Charlotte. Charlotte with right hands to the gut. Charlotte shoves, Paige ducks, they both go for a kick! Both kicks connect!

We return after a break, and Cole again lets me know that Paige is the one in the black. Paige is on the offense with a kick. She hits a few rights, but Charlotte rolls through and hits some of her own. Cover for 1…2..NO! Both ladies up. Paige with a dropkick. She kips up this time. She stalks Charlotte and kicks hard. Paige grabs the had, is blocked by Charlotte. Chops to Paige. Again. Cover for 1…2..NO! Charlotte rushes forward with a choke hold. She gets on the back of Paige, but Paige is holding onto the ropes. Ref stops her at three, but Charlotte pulls back, and we get a sleeper and leg scissors combo. Paige rolls towards the ropes to break the hold. Charlotte, out of desperation, flies towards Paige, sending her out of the ring, and following as well.

Ref is at 8, and Charlotte tries to enter. Paige grabs her and pulls her down. Ref hits 10.
Official Result: Double Countout
Chioda counts pretty quickly for a senior ref…
Rating: **1/2

Paige grabs Charlotte and sends her into the steel steps. Paige is goin loco. She pulls the tv out of the announce table and tosses Charlotte on top of it. OH NO!! IT’S THE DREADED PTO ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!! NOT THIS WAY, PAIGE!!! NOT THIS WAY!!!!

A ref comes down to break the hold. Paige stomps the back of Charlotte a couple of times.

Here Flibble, this show is great. You should totes watch it.

We return to RAW with the ONE MAN BAND!!! He’s here with a guitar and a mic stand. He tells Nashville to sit down and shut their mouth, because he needs total silence when he clears his singing pipes. He warms up a bit.

Heath is about to blow our mind.

FEED! ME! MORE!

Ryback enters the ring, and Heath Slater goes all Jeff Jarrett on his ass. He smashes the guitar into pieces on Ryback, but Ryback ain’t havin it. Spinebuster to Slater! Meathook to Slater! Shell Shock is next! Crowd is super into it.

Match 6: Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler vs Kevin Owens and Tyler Breeze
Ziggler and Breeze to start. Lockup, and Ziggler backs Breeze in the corner. They wrestle out of it, and Breeze works the left arm. Ziggler gets Breeze down on the mat. He pulls back on the mouth, then rolls into a pin for 1. Ziggler works the arm, but Breeze hits a knee and tags in Owens. Ziggler tags in Ambrose quickly, and Owens looks ready, only to tag in Breeze. Ambrose tries to attack, Breeze with a right. Ambrose with a body slam and a tag to Ziggler. Ziggler drops an elbow and pin for 1. Ziggler with a splah in the corner, another. He goes for a neckbreaker, but Breeze shoves him forward. Ziggler tries to attack Owens, but turns right into a superkick! Tag to Owens. Owens with stomps to Ziggler. He hits a short clothesline. Owens with the running senton and a cover for 1..2..NO! Owens sends Ziggler into the corner. Tag to Breeze. Tyler with a kick to the gut. Another. Stomp. Tag to Owens again. He gets a kick to Ziggler as Breeze holds him. Cravat from behind in the middle of the ring. Ziggler reaches for a tag, but Owens catches him. Ziggler lands on his feet. Dropkick to Owens! Both men down! Owens is between Ziggler and his corner. Ziggler tries for a tag, but Owens holds the leg and pulls. Ziggler launches himself! TAG! Tag to Breeze! Ambrose with a clothesline. Throat thrust. Whip to the ropes is reversed. Crossbody in the middle of the ring. Ambrose with some rights, then he clotheslines Breeze over the top rope! SUICIDE DIVE! Ambrose tosses Breeze back in the ring. He hits a neckbreaker. Ambrose goes to the top rope! Ambrose with a Missile Dropkick! He goes for Owens, but Owens drops! Breeze with a rollup for 1…2.NO!! Right hand, but Ambrose vounces off and hits a hard clthesline! Owens attacks from behind! Ziggler enters, SUPERKICK to Owens!

Outside, Ziggler kicks owens again. Breeze tries to lock the arms of Ambrose, but Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds! Pin for 1..2…3!!
Official Result: Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler

Rating: **

There is a segment here not worth covering, so instead….here’s Janice Griffith!

Can I get a recap?!

Why yes, yes I can. Sheamus cashes in.

Match 7: Rusev vs Roman Reigns
Rusev is quick to attack, but Reigns prevents it by hitting some rights and a kick. Rusev grabs the head and wrestles Reigns down quickly to slow the match down. Reigns pushes Rusev to the ropes, ounces off, hits a right hand (sort of) and stalks around Rusev. He lifts him head first and hits an uppercut. Whipto Rusev into the corner hard, into a Samoan Drop attempt, but Rusev hops off. Right hand from Reigns. Neckbreaker and a pin for 1..2..NO! Reigns sends Rusev into the corner and mounts for five righ hadns, but Rusev ducks under and pulls REigns out. Reigns is seated in the corner and Rusev hits some stomps. Right hand to Rusev. He scrapes the forearm against Reigns head. Rusev thrusts from behind (giggity). He hits a forearm. Rusev sends Reigns into the corner and grabs the head. He sends Reigns into the corner hen whips. Revrsed. Kick by Rusev! Reigns with a big boot out of nowhere! Rusev rolls to the outside! Reigns follows and sends Rusev into the barricade backfirst. Reigns stares Sheamus down.

We….are…back, and Rusev and Reigns are asleep in the middle of the ring, just like half the audience. Rusev applies pressure to Reigns, ith his hold on the ma. Reigns sits up out of it, and turns into it, but Rusev kicks him then just sends Reigns to the outside. The ref distracts the ref, and Sheamus just hits Reigns with a hard clothesline. Rusev is on the outside. He grabs Reigns by the hair and kicks him then sends Reigns back into the ring. Rusev with a kick to the back. Another. Rusev with an axe handle to the back. Rusev stomps the back with his ass. Another. Rusev with a kick to the side. Rusev hits the ropes and comes back with another kick. Pin for 1..2..NO! Rusev with another headlock from an elevated positon. Reigns tries to fight back, but Rusev with a kick. Rusev hits the ropes Reigns follows through, but Sheamus pulls the foot. Rusev attacks from behind! The ref is seemingly tired of all of this, and sends Sheamus to the back!! Sheamus seems very upset about this, but heads to the back. Rusev worries about his leaving friend. Reigns goes for a cheap roll up and gets 1..2..NO! Samoan Drop to Rusev! Both men are up at 9. Rusev attacks the head. Reigns with a right. Rusev with one of his own. Reigns with a right. A kick. A right. Another. Whip is reversed but Reigns hits a clothesline. He gets clotheslines in the corner, all the way to ten. Reigns hits the ropes, and runs right into a spinning heel kick by Rusev! Pin for 1…2..NO!! Rusev heads to the apron. He’s going up top. Reigns with a right hand! He goes for another! Reigns locks the head up top! He wants a superplex! Reigns is sent to the mat! Rusev with a flying headbutt! Pin for 1…2..NO!! Rusev calls for The Accolade. Reigns fights out of it. Rusev with stomps! He goes for a Superkick, it appears, but Reigns with the Superman Punch! Cover for 1…2….NO!!

Reigns is up first, hyping himself up. He calls for another Superman punch, but Rusev rolls to the outside!! Reigns leaves the ring, circles it, runs right into a SUPERKICK from Rusev! Rusev grabs Reigns and slams him against the announce table. Again, again, again, he tosses Reigns back into the ring. Rusev tries to enter the ring, but Reigns hits some knee lifts! Rusev on the apron. Reigns with a SUPERMAN PUNCH! Rusev falls off the apron hard! Seriously, he just fuckin went KERSPLAT! The ref starts the count. The crowd is into it.

Rusev leans on the apron. Reigns exits. Drive By to Reigns!!! Rusev is out! Reigns turns…BULLHAMMER!!!! It’s BARRETT!!!
Official Result: Roman Reigns via DQ
Barrett coming out was a nice touch.
Rating: **1/2

Barrett tosses Reigns into the ring! He has a chair! He tosses it in! Reigns grabs the chair and hits Barrett! Rusev is here though Kick! He gets the chair! He goes for a chair shot, but Reigns hits a right hand! Chair to the gut! To the bck! Another! Another! One more! Reigns goes buck wild on Rusev’s back! Here’s Sheamus! Reigns hits him in the gut! Chair shot to the back!! Reigns is runnin wild!

If RAW were a song, we’d all be like this:

End Show