411’s WWE Raw Report 12.09.02
411s WWE Raw Report 12.09.02
Live from the University of Tennessee
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411 by Brad Jennette
WWE Opening Video w/creepy Bischoff picture
WWE Raw Video
Raw is live from the University of Tennessee and Bischoff and Chief Morley
are already in the ring. They have to adress two wrestlers, HBK and HHH. The
titantron shows both of their faces in a cool little split-screen format.
Bischoff makes their match at the PPV a 2/3 falls match.
The first fall will be a street fight. The second fall will be a cage match.
The final fall will be an HBK special, a ladder match. Triple H doesn’t look
happy as HBK to hear the news
Booker T/Goldust vs. Storm/Regal
A fatal four way is announced between Regal/Storm, Bookerdust, Y2J/Christian
and The Dudleyz for the PPV.
Booker and Storm start us off. They exchange armbars and Booker gets a
clothesline followed by a sidekick for 2. Goldust gets tagged in and hits
Regal with a dropkick and the butt butt smash. Goldust gets distracted by
Storm and is T-Bone slammed by Regal. Storm tagged back in and belly to back
suplexes Goldust for 2. Storm with a scoopslam and then goes to the
resthold. Goldust escapes and makes the hot tag to Booker. Booker cleans
house with a flying forearm and spinkick. A big main event spinebuster gets
2 on Storm. Booker works Storm over with chops and rights. Booker with a big
flapjack then SPINAROONIE! Book misses the axe kick but hits it on the 2nd
try. The pin is broken up by Regal. Goldust hits a double clothesline and
hits the SHATTERED NUTS with the ref distracted. Storm gets powerslammed but
Regal breaks it up again. Booker and Regal head outside the ring and Regal
catches Goldy in the fucking SHARPSHOOTER! Goldust taps out!
Winners- Storm and Regal
Coach stops the faces as they head up the ramp. Goldust says HE is the weak
link on the team and is going to ask Bischoff to take him out of the fatal
four way match.
Trish is reading Hulk Hogan’s book when Jericho grabs it. Chapter 17 talks
about how Hogan tapped out to the Undisputed King of the World. He wants
Trish to taste some of his Vitamin C. She would like to squeeze his juices?!
SCORE! No she just makes fun of his little pecker size.
RVD is on a cell phone in Bischoff’s office. Bischoff storms in and kicks
RVD out because he is waiting for a call from Steiner. RVD has a match with
Batista tonight. Bischoff accidently hangs up on Steiner who was talking
Victoria offers Steven some “encouragement” before his big match with Jackie
Jackie Vs. Steven Richards
This sucked. Jackie got pounded around a while and Steven refused to cover
her. He kept it up until he got crotched on the top rope. Steven picked up
the win anyway in a stupid little match.
Winner- Steven Richards
Victoria gets in right after the match and takes Jackie down again. Trish
makes the save. I don’t enjoy women’s matches very much.
Terri is backstage with Jeff Hardy. He wants to be just like HBK and duck
out on jobbing his titl….errr I mean use a little of that HBK magic to
defeat HHH tonight. HBK shows up and tells him he is gonna take a pounding.
He also says HHH gets full of himself and will make a mistake. Jeff as HBK
if he needs any advice for a ladder match. Thats about it.
RVD Vs. Batista is NEXT!
WWE Boot of the Week: HBK counting the pin on RVD last week.
RVD Vs. Batista
Batista is with Flair again. I think Flair will make the perfect manager for
the big guy. RVD goes for a spinkick but Batista steps back and out of the
way. They lockup and Batista lifts RVD off the ground and slams him to the
mat. Batista chokes RVD on the ropes, picks him up, and whips him into the
ropes. RVD tries a sunset flip but Batista catches him and heaves him in the
air. Batista hits a big clothesline, then another, then a third that gets a
2 count. Batista stomps away and catches RVD as he tries to come off the
ropes. RVD slips off Batista’s shoulders and hits a springboard dropkick off
the middle rope. RVD hits another spinkick then a legdrop. Rolling thunder
gets 2. RVD goes up top and hits another straight kick. RVD head up top but
Flair distacts him and RVD kicks him down. Batista takes RVD down hard and
goes for the sit-out powerbomb but Kane makes the save for the cheap DQ.
Kane clears house and even hits Flair
Winner by DQ- Batista
Kane is confronted by Morley. Kane makes fun of Morley’s old Val Venis
gimmick. Morley does not like it and make a handicap match between Kane and
Three Minute Warning. Kane says it sucks to be a 3MW.
Snow/Maven Vs. Nowinski/D-Lo
A like a D-Lo heel. He can be a real prick with his “Get Yo Ass Up” thing.
They faces charge the ring and Al has to leave the ring. The heels begin a
lengthy beatdown on Maven, getting everal near falls. Al finally gets tagged
back in and he goes to work on Chris. Al hits a pumphandle suplex for 2.
D-Lo tags in and he gets pounded on by Al. Al hits D-Lo with about 15
headbutts and gets 2. Al gets a few more near falls that are broken up.
Maven comes back in and a pier 6 brawl “erupts.” Al clotheslines Chris over
the top rope but walks right into the Sky High from D-Lo for the 1-2-3!
Winner- D-Lo & Nowinski
Booker stops Goldust as he is about to enter Bischoff’s locker room. He
tells him he is his best partner ever (better than Stevie Ray!?!) and he
wants him to STAY is partner. Goldust looks hesitant but agrees. Goldust
does the “Can You Dig That” catchphrase and Booker does the touching himself
as the walk off.
Jeff is getting ready for HHH. They will go at it next!
Triple H Vs. Jeff Hardy
I love doing HHH matches. He is nice and slow now and I can follow him
pretty easy. HHH attack from behind as Jeff is on the ropes. Jeff comes back
with a jawbreaker and a legdrop to the nuts. HHH sits back up and gets
dropkicked in the face. jeff runs to the corner and hits a legdrop Mattitude
style from the middle rope for a 2 count. Jeff goes off the ropes but is
stopped by a clothesline. HHH dumps Jeff to the floor and follows. Jeff goes
off the railing and then the steps, then the steps again. Back in the ring
HHH slugs away in the corner. HHH whips Jeff into the ropes and hits the
REAL spinebuster for 2. HHH hits a backbreaker then busts out the moveset
with a Canadian Backbreaker! Jeff slides off and hits a flying forearm. Jeff
runs up top and jumps off….but is hit with a boot to the gut and then the
Pedigree! HHH does not pin him. HHH lands another Pedigree as Jeff’s brain
legally stops functioning. This gets the academic pin.
Winner- Triple H
HHH dumps Jeff and continues the assault as HBK shows up at the ramp. We go
to a break?
Flair and HHH are in the ring and HBK still on the ramp. Flair gets on the
stick and calls HBK to the ring. He tells HBK that he used to be the man. He
used to be the best. But one day a kid told him that Shawn Michaels was
better. Flair said Shawn Michaels the Rocker? No Shawn Michaels the
Showstopper. Flair even asked Double A, Arn Anderson, how good HBK was. HBK
was a tough act to follow. Flair says he knew HBK was better than him. He
knew when his time had passed. Flair says a new sheriff is in town as he
points to HHH. Flair says HBK just doesn’t have it here, pointing to his
brain. Flair says HBK and HHH tore the “goddamn” house down at Summerslam
and Survior Series. Flair says HBK needs to pass the torch to HHH or else
HHH is going to kill him. Flair is beet red. HBK just leaves the ring
without saying anything. HHH gets on the stick, he tells HBK to go home and
look in that mirror. He is going to force HBK and all the fans to admit that
he IS THE MAN. That he is the one who is TWICE AS GOOD AS EVERYONE ELSE BY
Shawn just walks up the ramp with a sad look in his eyes.
Kane is heading to the ring as we head to break.
Raw Retro: Mike Tyson showing up on Raw and getting attacked by Stone Cold
Steve Austin. He has to making a comeback if EVERY SINGLE ONE of these Raw
Retro’s is about Austin. Austin wanted a piece of Tyson’s ass?! Vince went
livid and Austin shot him the bird. Hilarity at its finest.
Three Minute Warning Vs. Kane
3MW double team Kane at the start with clotheslines and punches. Rosie(?)
hits a scoopslam and a legdrop for 2. The heels hit a double suplex but Kane
comes back. Kane takes them both down with clotheslines and hits a DDT on
Rosie. He heads up top and hits a flying clothesline on Jamal. Rosie trying
a running splash in the corner but Kane moves and Jamal gets crushed. Kane
dumps Rosie, knocks Rico off the apron and chokeslams Jamal for the 1-2-3!
Rico gets back in and trys a kick but Kane no-sells. 3MW recover and
overwhelm Kane. Jamal hits the Super Samoan Drop and then the Super Samoan
Splash off the top. RVD runs down and springboard straight kicks Rico in the
face and spinkicks Jamal. Rosie trys to get a chair but RVD hits a
Van-Daminator! Jamal attacks RVD but Kane recovers and BLASTS Jamal with a
chairshot. RVD goes back up and with a little assistance from Kane hits the
VAN TERMINATOR!!!! Jamal is dead.
Stacy is dressed up like the hottest Santa ever. Test takes a peek under her
skirt. She has Test’s blue balls in her hands. They make some more various
(SEE: unfunny) dick jokes. Then Test makes out with Stacy. God these
Testicle segments are getting worse.
RNN UPDATE! It’s a Merry Orton Christmas. Randy gets on the top of the New
York stock exchange and waves at the crowd, who are all there to see him you
Y2J and Christian are backstage. Y2J looks depressed, he thinks his Vitamin
C is large. Christian swears he didn’t look at it. Y2J promises to put Trish
through a table but Victoria interupts and say SHE will be the one to put
that “bitch” through the table.
HBK is walking BY GOD! HBK sees Flair and tells him that HBK and his heart
will be waiting on HHH in the parking lot.
Y2J, Christian and Victoria Vs. Bubba, D-Von and Trish
Dude, I am so not funny it is incredible. This is the last match? Jeez…
D-Von and Christian start off and D-Von pounds away. Trish and Victoria
catfight on the outside as D-Von hits a double clothesline and tags Bubba.
Bubba hits the bionic elbow on everyone, whips Christian and Victoria into
the ropes, and splashes them both. Christian falls on his back and Victoria
falls on his nuts. Bubba slams Victoria and D-Von hits the Wassup headbutt
on the women’s champ. Trish then hits Y2J with her wassup headbutt. They go
for the table and get one in the ring before Trish and D-Von are taken out
on the outside. Bubba gets caught in the ropes by Christian but he avoids a
Victoria charge and Christian goes flying off the apron. Bubba grabs
Victoria and lifts her for a powerbomb and we go to commercial!?
We come back and find out Y2J chop blocked Bubba before he could powerbomb
Victoria through the table. Y2J hits a dropsleeper on Bubba and tags in
Victoria who busts open Bubba’s nose, I swear that’s true. Bubba makes the
HOT tag to Trish not wait a false tag. This is no DQ also. The heels work
Bubba over in the corner for a while with Y2J doing most of the damage.
Bubba finally comes back and hot tags D-Von who cleans house. Duds try to
put Y2J though the table but Christian moves it. Reverse 3D on Christian.
Bubbabomb on Y2J. Victoria is caught and they try the superbomb but Steven
Richards saves. Richards is jumped by Spike who hits the Acid Drop.
Christian blocks Spike’s Acid Drop on him and dumps him over the top. Double
flapjack on Y2J. Table is set up and 3D…no Storm and Regal save. Booker
and Goldust run down and we have a Pier 6 Brawl. Y2J and Trish are in the
ring. Booker saves Trish from getting powerbombed. Axe kick hits Y2J. Storm
saves but gets 3D’ed for his troubles. Victoria runs in but gets caught but
the Duds and TRISH hits the SUPERBOMB from the top, through the table for
Winners- Trish and the Dudleyz
HHH and Flair head to the parking lot. HBK hits Triple H with a shovel and
superkicks Flair. HBK slams HHH against an 18 wheeler. HBK throws HHH into a
dumpster. He starts to walk away but notices a ladder against the 18
wheeler. He climbs the ladder, walks over to the middle, and hits an
ELBOWDROP FROM OFF THE TOP OF THE 18 WHEELER! OH MY GOD! Good thing those
trash bags were full of foam to protect his fall.
HBK says that the Showstopper will be at Armageddon.
End of Show.