411’s WWE RAW Report 2.18.13
Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 2.18.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane
We the people hold this truth to be self-evident…that I am YOUR “Kennection to All Things Wrestling” Ken Hill here with another riveting night of LIVE Monday Night Raw coverage! Happy President’s Day, everyone!
Well, the WWE Championship table is set for Wrestlemania, as despite stipulations and CM Punk and Paul Heyman’s best efforts, the true “People’s Champion” The Rock came out on top to take back his WWE Title. Is Punk truly in the Rock’s rear view mirror, or will the “champ” find a way to insert himself into Rock/Cena II?
Speaking of WWE’s resident Superman, he, Ryback, and Sheamus were either left laying, walking off in a huff, or scratching their heads as the Shield upended the all-star WWE team in a shocking vicotry. How will this affect Cena’s mindset going into his WWE Title match, and how do the Shield plan on continuing their reign of “justice”?
Monday Night Raw LIVE from the Cajundome in Louisiana, begins shortly…
We go to last night at the Elimination Chamber, where Alberto Del Rio surprised everyone with a submission win over the Big Show, Jack Swagger became the #1 Contender to much shock, and the Rock “regained” his title…to no one’s surprise.
No pyro, as Cena starts us out, all smiles, as his road to Wrestlemania is seemingly clear, with the Rock and the WWE Championship waiting at the end.
Cena feels the Road to Wrestlemania is heating up. A year ago, WM 29 being hosted by New York and New Jersey was just a sign with two cities. Now, a year later, Wrestlemania is taking shape, with Jack Swagger challenging Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship, and Cena trying his hand one more time against the Rock…
The FORMER WWE Champion CM Punk out now with Paul Heyman, and he looks stewed as Lawler actually admits that Punk had Rock beat on a couple of occasions, if not for an absent ref. Punk asks if John’s really planning on wrestling the Rock; Punk sees it as the easy way out, but it doesn’t surprise him when it comes to Cena. Punk admits the Rock beat him straight up…besides the fact he had Rock pinned for an 18-count and the Rock struck an official and should have been DQ’ed on the spot.
Cena laughs it off as Punk being bitter that for once, it’s not about him. Punk says it is about him because for 434 days, he made the WWE Championship mean something. To him, Cena didn’t earn the shot; he tossed a couple of ham-and-eggers from the 25-spot. He earned nothing, not to mention he’s never beaten Rock, or Punk himself. Cena asks what the point of all this is, and what Punk expects him to do. Punk just wants him to go awa, leave the WWE, and leave the title shot to someone like Punk, who deserves it. Cena applauds Punk for his honesty, and admits Punk has bested him, and that there are critics like Punk who say he can’t win the big one. However, he won’t just pass up a golden ticket to Wrestlemania. Punk can earn it, however, if he accepts the following: JOHN CENA VS. CM PUNK…RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! If Cena wins, Punk crawls back into the hole he came out of. If Punk wins, Cena gives him the Wrestlemania shot against the Rock. Punk confers with Heyman, and says Cena made the stupidest decision of his life. He accepts…but not here; Punk does things on his terms, and wants the match next week. As he walks off, Cena says he plans on proving Punk and the critics wrong, and that come Wrestlemania, THE CHAMP IS HERE!
Lawler and Cole review the shocking victory of the Shield over “The Sword” last night.
We go to Matt Striker and Sheamus, who is aghast over the loss last night, but feels there is a critical weakness within the Shield…but Ryback’s pacing agitates the Irishman, who tells him he wasn’t the only one who lost last night, and they need to re-adapt and overcome. He questions if Ryback isn’t just some neanderthal, and that gets Ryback up in Sheamus’s face. Chris Jericho breaks the two up rather physically and tells them that everyone is on edge because of the Shield. He’s seen this with the NWO and Nexus, and won’t let it happen here. He’s been here since 1999 and doesn’t plan on going anywhere else. Vickie brought him back because of what he brings to Raw, and she knows what Ryback and Sheamus bring to the show. If they unite, The Shield don’t stand a chance, and it will truly be RAW…IS…JERICHO! He asks if they’re in, Sheamus says yes, as does Ryback. Jericho heads off with a smile, and Ryback…”FEED! ME! SHIELD!”
Methinks this won’t be ending well for Cara. Henry pretty much pancakes Cara from the beginning, and shoves him into the corner. Cara gets a boot up, then goes to the apron and hits his vaulting kick, but Henry catches the repeat, drills him with a powerslam. He drags Cara up, and World’s Strongest Slam finishes it.
Winner: Mark Henry
Henry goes to smother Cara with his large hands, but now Great Khali is out and marches down to stop Henry, who tosses Cara to the side, then…backs out of the ring. Khali stares him down as Henry mocks the Punjabi giant, dancing a funny little jig. $20 someone makes a .gif out of that.
The match has been made: The Shield vs. Jericho, Ryback, and Sheamus!
Next up…Miz versus Antonio Cesaro…NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!
The Miz goes aggressive, wailing on Cesaro with rights and lefts. Cesaro retreats out of the ring. Miz follow, but Cesaro slams his bad shoulder into the ringside barrier. He throws Miz back in, then fetches some steel chairs and a kendo stick, and this is gonna get UG-LY! Cesaro cracks Miz in the shoulder with the stick for a two count. He continues driving the kendo stick into Miz’s bad shoulder. He sets up a steel chair in the corner, but Miz gets back up and hits some weak punches. Cesaro drives the stick into his face for a near fall. Cesaro sets up a chair in the middle of the ring as well. He drives Miz into the chair in the corner, bad shoulder first. Cesaro sets up what looks like a low blow, but Miz counters out with a kick. Miz fights back, and trips Cesaro onto the chair, FACE FIRST! Cesaro holds his jaw in pain, and Miz locks in the Figure Four. Cesaro taps!
Winner: The Miz
We’re reminded of Jack Swagger’s CHamber victory last night, then Cole and Lawler show us a “propaganda” video of Coulter and Swagger denigrating immigrants who illegally trespass on American soldier and take jobs away from Real Americans like them. Who plans on giving these loafers a one-way way ticket back to where they came from? WE THE PEOPLE.
Backstage now with Daniel Bryan, who runs into Kane and demands to know why he uppercutted him instead of hugging him. Kane says he doesn’t have to explain himself. Bryan doesn’t feel comfortable tagging with Kane, and asked for a match with Swagger, and doesn’t want Kane out with him. Kane feels the same, and will want a match of his own, without Bryan. He hopes Bryan keeps his word, as Kane hates snakes. Orton slides in and asks if Kane was talking about him. Kane says he hates snakes, and prefers to stomp on their heads when they get too close. Orton says that, coming from Kane, would scare him a while ago, but now Kane is more like Barney the Dinosaur. Bryan thinks it’s funny, while Kane fumes.
Vickie on the phone as Heyman approaches her. Vickie gives her sarcastic “congrats” over Heyman’s stipulations working out SO well with The Rock retaining his championship. Heyman just wants to know what she wants. Vickie has a surprise for him in the ring, but Heyman hates surprises. Vickie says that’s what makes it so great and laughs as Heyman sneers at her.
SHOW ON! Dolph makes his way to the ring for action with the World Champ…NEXT!
Dolph bad-mouths Alberto, but gets a thrust kick for his troubles. Ziggler counters a charge off the ropes with a kick, but Del Rio reverses a whip and throws Dolph to the apron. He catches Ziggler FLUSH with an enziguri as we go to break…
Dolph is hitting Del Rio with some hard rights. He presses Alberto into the ropes, and as the ref chides him, Langston clocks Del Rio with a right. Ziggler drops Alberto with a sharp dropkick for a two count. He locks in a reverse chinlock, but Del Rio eventually fights out. Ziggler stops his comeback with a Famouser for another near fall. Ziggler misses a corner charge, and Del Rio props him on the ropes. INVERTED SUPERPLEX! Nice one! Del Rio and Ziggler exchange right hands, but Del Rio gets the upper hand. He drives Ziggler into the corner, hits some STIFF forearms to Ziggler’s back, then hits a backstabber for two before Dolph grabs the ropes. Del Rio calls for the Cross Arm Breaker, but Dolph counters into a nice swinging necbreaker for a near fall. Langston up on the apron, but Del Rio knocks him off. Ziggler tries to ambush, but Del Rio counters into the Cross Arm Breaker, and Ziggler has to tap!
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio celebrates in the ring, but Langston in and he PANCAKES Del Rio, before picking him up and dropping him with the BIG ENDING! Dolph looks to his case and Del Rio…he’s going to cash in! RICARDO GRABS THE CASE! RUN, RICARDO, RUN! Langston chases him up the ramp…RICARDO DROPS THE CASE! AJ grabs it, gives it to Dolph…ALBERTO HITS THE ENZIGURI! Show…off!
We find out that Barney…er, Kane will go one-on-one with Randy Orton.
Wade Barrett in the ring, saying the Barrett Barrage has gone Hollywood, and shows us the trailer for Dead Man Down with Colin Farrell…which doesn’t feature Barrett one spit. Sheamus comes on (was expecting Bo Dallas for, you know, continuity), and says the movie looks great because Barrett doesn’t say a word. He then says we’re out of time…oooookayyyy.
Naomi starts with a nice takedown of Rosa and even hits a headscissors on Epico! Primo tags in, and Tensai in as well. Tensai drops Primo, then hits a big elbow, after which Epico breaks up the cover. Cameron baseball slides and takes out both Epico and Rosa. Tensai tags in Brodus, they hit the double headbutt, call their mamas, and hits the double Splat! for the win!
Winners: Brodus, Tensai & Naomi
Dancing time with Tensai! Jumbo Gangnam Style!
In the ring with Zev Coulter and Jack Swagger for the “State of the Union” address. Swagger says last night, he won with class and dignity. Tonight, however, it’s about our country, and he hands off the mic to a great man and a greater American, Zev Coulter. Del Rio and Ricardo look on in disgust. Coulter says the Bill of Rights allows him and Swagger to express themselves, whether we like their opinions or not. He says the state of the Union is horrible. It’s up to Real Americans like him and Swagger to say no more to immigrants and the like. He says Swagger won the right to challenge for the World Title, but it’s about much more than that. Swagger’s fighting on two fronts come Wrestlemania: For the World Heavyweight Championship and regaining the heart of America from Alberto Del Rio, a man they claim only came to the US to reap the rewards of their motherland. WE THE PEOPLE plan to put a stop to that. Swagger madly chants “WE THE PEOPLE!” before Daniel Bryan makes his way out for their one-on-one match…
Swagger with the waistlock, but Bryan fights out with some kicks. Swagger whips him to the corner, but Bryan dropkicks him into the turnbuckle. Daniel with another kick to Swagger’s leg, then tries a surfboard submission, but Swagger fights out. He shoves Bryan off the ropes, Bryan catches Swagger with a kick, but Swagger catches him with a clothesline over the ropes. Bryan races back to the apron as Swagger exits. He misses the knee, and Swagger DRIVES him into the ringside barrier, bad ribs first. Swagger rolls Bryan back in for a near fall. He drives a knee into Bryan in the corner, and continues attacking Bryan’s bad ribs.
Swagger Bomb gets another near fall. Bryan counters a corner charge with a kick, floats over on a Irish WHip to the corner, then hits a lariat. He throws Swagger over the ropes, and hits a charge through the ropes. Bryan rolls Swagger back in, then goes up and hits a BIG dropkick for a near fall. Bryan goes for a Buzzsaw kick, but Swagger catches him and drops him with a modified spinebuster. He stalls on the cover, which allows Bryan to cinch in the No! Lock. Swagger struggles, but he makes the ropes. Bryan readies a corner dropkick, but Swagger dodges, and Bryan lands on his ankle. Swagger chop blocks Bryan hard, then cinches in the newly-renamed Patriot Lock (little better) and Goatface taps!
Winner: Jack Swagger
We’re reminded of the big 6-man tag match, and Paul Heyman is WALKING as his surprise from Vickie is NEXT!
Vickie and Heyman in the ring, as Vickie introduces herself to us ever-so nicely, and tells Heyman this surprise will change his career and his life. She’s brought on an assistant…BRAD MADDOX! Maddox out now, and he’s been given this opportunity of a lifetime due to his loyalty…Hi…and service to the WWE for exposing Heyman and the Shield. He and Vickie argue over his position as an Assistant.
Heyman: “Is this my cue to vomit?”
Heyman doesn’t care about either Maddox or Vickie and goes to leave, but VINCENT KENNEDY McMAHON interrupts and Heyman immediately starts brown-noising. Vince shuts him up and reminds Paul about recovering from hip surgery, as well as Heyman saying that he’d do anything for the stipulation for the match between Rock and Punk. He says just firing Heyman would be too easy. Instead, next week, Vince will be there, crutches and all, and he and Heyman…will fight! The crowd and Heyman are stunned, as Vickie and Brad look on amused. Did Vince book himself in a literal handicap match? RIVETING!
Six-man tag team action, Jericho, Ryback & Sheamus versus The Shield, NEXT!
We recap the BIG news of Cena putting his WWE championship shot next week on the line to finally shut up CM Punk once and for all…I’m sensing a double DQ or countout next week to make the triple threat a reality.
Should be interesting to see how this plays out with Jericho in the lead role; feels a little more fitting with Jericho’s past history and knowledge of renegade groups in WCW and WWE.
Ryback and Rollins start out. Ryback lifts Rollins into his corner for some shoulder thrusts. Jericho tries to get Ryback under control. AMbrose and Jericho tag in, Jericho with an elbow and a suplex for two. Ambrose reverses a whip, but Jericho gets a boot up and hits a missile dropkick for two. Ambrose stops Jericho with an elbow to the chops. Reigns and Sheamus tag in, and the two big men square off. Sheamus unloads on Reigns with rights, but Reigns backs him into the corner. Sheamus with a whip, Reigns counters with a big kick. He charges Reigns into the corner, hits the high knee, then White Noise! Sheamus preps for the Brogue Kick, but Rollins pulls Reigns out…SHEAMUS NAILS AMBROSE WITH THE BROGUE! Damn, that landing into the barricade by Ambrose looked sick. The rest of the Shield tend to him as we go to break…
Reigns with a chinlock on Sheamus. The Irishman fights out, but Reigns with right hands. Rollins tags in, and he hits a running dropkick for a two count on Sheamus. Rollins with the front headlock on Sheamus. He’s driven to the corner, where Rollins delivers some boots. Reigns tags in, charges, but Sheamus gets a boot up, and hits a big clothesline. RYBACK TAGS IN! IT’S FEEDING TIME! Spinebuster to Rollins! Meathook connects! FINISH IT! Shell-shock, ref’s distracted…SPEAR BY REIGNS! 1…2…Kickout! Ambrose beats Ryback down, and drives him into the corner, raking Ryback’s face with his elbow. Nasty-looking, that. Reigns in, and chokes Ryback on the ropes. Rollins in with a stiff boot to Ryback’s face for a near fall. Ambrose tags in, and hits a nice falling neckbreaker for two. Reigns in, and misses another charge! And…HERE COMES Y2J! Clothesline to Ambrose! Dropkick to Rollins! Bulldog to Ambrose, Lionsault gets 1…2…Thr-NO! Reigns and Sheamus go wailing on one another! Ambrose reverses a whip, Jericho rolls through…WALLS OF JERICHO IS IN ON AMBROSE! Reigns gets cut off by Sheamus…ROLLINS HITS A SPRINGBOARD KNEE TO JERICHO! Y2J is out cold as Ambrose covers…and gets three! The Shield win again!
Winners: The Shield
Sheamus looks on stunned once again, as Jericho and Ryback slowly recover from the big loss.
Vince fights Heyman (What’s he thinking?) and Cena puts his title shot on the line against CM Punk (What THE HELL he’s thinking?) The Rock celebrates tonight!
For all of us half-wits, today is President’s Day. According to Damien, several of his ancestors assisted the Presidents, such as Osaius P. Sandow, who brokered the New Deal for Teddy Roosevelt. His New Deal for us? That we remain silent as he saves us from the doldrums of our self-imposed ignorance! You’re welcome! He blindsides Kofi, beats him down with boots and fists, and throws Kofi into the ring post hard. R-Truth’s music hits! SANDOW GONNA GET GOT! Truth spears Sandow and just wails away on him, tossing him back in the ring before dropping Damien hard with an scissor kick (SUCKA!) and tosses Sandow out to the floor! “JIMMY BOOM” vs. Rhodes Scholars? Eh, why not?
Winner: No Contest
We get a preview of G.I. Joe Retaliation…featuring DA ROCK!
Lawler: “THE…VI…PER! I’m going to do all my commentary like Fandango now.” Not exactly the change we’re looking for, Jerry
Lock-up, Orton gets shoulder-blocked. Orton with a boot to the stomach and a shot to Kane’s bad arm. Orton props Kane up in the corner and sits up on the turnbuckle to hit some Sheamus-like shots to Kane. Kane squirms out and hits an uppercut to send Orton tumbling to the ringside floor as we go to break…
Orton fights out of a sleeper hold, but Kane drops with a big boot with Randy coming off the ropes for a near fall. Kane with some more boots to Randy’s head. Uppercuts to Orton. Randy fights out of the corner, but Kane drops him with a DDT for a near fall. Kane locks in a rear chin lock. Orton elbows out. Kane misses a charge to the corner, Orton up for 10 punches, then hits a dropkick for two. Kane comes back with a clothesline for two, then a sidewalk slam for another near fall. Kane goes back to the chin lock. Orton gets back to his feet, fights out with right hands, and snaps off a powerslam. Kane stops the flurry with a side slam for a near fall. Kane up top, misses the clothesline…Orton slings him to the rope, Snakebite DDT! RKO…Kane counters and drops Orton on the ropes, crotch first. Ouchie. Kane readies the Chokeslam, but Bryan is out now! So much for being a man of his word…Kane, of course, gets distracted and Orton hits the RKO (OUT OF NOWHERE!) for three!
Winner: Randy Orton
FINALLY…The Rock celebrates regaining his WWE Championship, NEXT!
The Pride of Acadiana, The University of Louisiana’s premier marching band, leads us into the Rock’s celebration…IF YOU SMELLLL!
Here he comes! The Rock comes down the ramp (with the band beating along to his song, nice little touch) to a MAJOR pop in the Cajundome. He’s in the ring now, with something under a red cloth…hmm, I wonder.
Rocky congrats Punk for showing what a piece of human waste he is by slapping and spitting in the Rock’s face.Punk tried, but the Best in the World wasn’t best enough. FINALLY…THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO LAFAYETTE! In 48 days, he goes to Wrestlemania…but not with this belt. He has much respect for the WWE Championship. When Cena introduced it 8 years ago, he admits some people thought it was cool back then, but then again, some believed in Bigfoot. The title shouldn’t look like a toy…or spin. The title should be something you are proud to carry, and Rocky lists off all the greats, from Bret Hart to Stone Cold Steve Austin, who’ve been honored to be WWE Champion. He gets a drumroll, and reveal a nice-looking brand-spankin’-new Championship belt, complete with Brahma Bull logos! He plays up the “Boots 2 Asses” and “Who Dat?” chants.
The only thing Rock’s thinking about now is who he wants to face at WM 29, Punk or Cena? As he’s about to say who’s brought out the best in him and who he’d want to face for personal and professional reasons…Cena comes out, and presumes the Rock speaks of him. Suddenly, CM PUNK out and blindsides Cena with the old WWE Championship. He tosses it away, points to Rock’s new title and says “I want that one” like a brat in a toy store. Rock looks ready to fight, but Punk just skulks off and Rock looks on as Cena struggles to get up. Fade to black.