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411’s WWE RAW Report 3.16.15

March 16, 2015 | Posted by Tony Acero

Spiffy recap of Orton’s antics over the past week. KEEP REFRESHING FOR THE LATEST RESULTS

411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 3.16.15

RAW!
IS!
STUNG!

We start RAW off with a spiffy recap of Orton’s antics over the past week.

RAW Live shows the ring full of Authority. There’s a Rollins chant, which makes sense considering where they are. Rollins assures allegiance to the heel side of the world, and gets the crowd firmly against him relatively easily. He refers to the crowd as nobodies and for nobodies like them, what happened to him was he got screwed over. He made it out of Iowa and made something of his life. He was betrayed. RKO chant. Rollins said Orton mocked his suffering. He called Orton a friend, a family member, and Orton betrayed Seth. YOU SOLD OUT chant. This was nothing like what he did to The Shield. He did that for business. Orton did this for blood. He is a sociopath. For three weeks, Orton schemed and conned his way back into The Authority. He made fools out of everyone, including Steph and HHH. If it wasn’t for their generosity, and welcoming him back, none of this would have ever happened. It disgusts him.

Big Show on the mic. He owes Seth an apology. He is sorry. He feels as though Show is partially responsible and it breaks his heart inside. Show thinks of Seth as the future and best talent in the WWE. What Orton did was just cruel. Betrayal. Show thought Orton could get passed everything and see the bigger picture, but Orton is a slimy, no good, snake in the grass. Do you know what Show does to snakes in the grass? He crushes them under his boot. He is a giant.

Kane is also sorry. Although he wasn’t as gullible as Show, he was sucked in by Orton as well. He promises that Orton will pay.

Jamie Noble is here, says he’s considered the secret weapon of The Authority. When Orton came back, he smelled a rat. He doesn’t care about himself, he cares about Seth. Seth is his friend. This hurt him, too. But you know who hurt the most? Joey Mercury.

Joey is super sad. He cries in the bosom of The Big Show. Seth says it did hurt, but what’s going to hurt the most is Randy Orton’s ego. For years, Orton has thought that he could get away with anything with no consequences. Orton has never messed with anyone like Seth. As for Mania…

“I accept.”

But only under one condition…Orton must agree to face Seth tonight. Orton calls himself the face of the WWE, but he is more than a scheming–

Orton’s music hits, and Orton is here! He stares down The Authority from the top of the ramp. He tells Seth that he isn’t the face of the WWE, he’s just a guy who last week made Seth look like a little bitch. He is also the guy who is going to beat Seth’s ass tonight, because he accepts the challenge tonight. Orton knows when he comes down to the ring, it’ll be 5 on 1, he knows this. But it’s ok, because he’s ready for it. He tells them to finish the job tonight, because if not, come Mania, he will END the future of the WWE.

Great, my pc decided to pull a last minute update out of his ass, so of ALL matches I have to get help to cover, it’s this one. Anyway, thank Harry Broadhurst for recapping the opening match.

Match 1: Nikki Bella vs AJ Lee
Collar and elbow, Nikki with a push off and then a shoulderblock. Elevated choke and tossed into the corner before shoulders to the mid-section. Nikki does push-ups and AJ gets control. Waistlock roll-up gets 1 and an armdrag by AJ brings Nikki down.Nikki up and fireman’s carry takes AJ over. More chaining by the two diva’s before a clothesline by Nikki gets two. Nikki lifts AJ up and a spinning kick by AJ gets two. Side headlock, Nikki lifts AJ up in a sidewalk slam but AJ with a headscissors out. Nikki to the apron and when AJ tries to get her, Nikki drapes AJ’s arm over the ropes. Brie shouts encouragement as we go to commercial. back as Nikki has an armbar…AJ fights up but Nikki knocks her back down with an elbow for two. single-arm DDT by Nikki gets two more after Nikki pulls AJ away from the ropes. Hammerlock toss into the corner by Nikki leads to another armbar by Nikki. AJ again fights up as JBL makes fun of Cole for blowing the original time of the Mania start. AJ catches a guillotine choke but nikki backs her into the ropes. Nikki runs into a boot and AJ with a thesz press. Corner splash by AJ is followed by a neckbreaker and back-kick. AJ sweeps the leg out sliding to the floor and a top-rope crossbody gets 2. Nikki turns the tide with a facebuster off the knee for 2. Nikki lifts AJ up but AJ escapes with a sunset flip for 1. Joshi dropkick sends Nikki over to the ropes, but Nikki sends AJ out to the floor. AJ sends Nikki into the apron. Brie and Paige get into it on the floor, where Brie sends Paige into the post The distraction allows Nikki to hit AJ with the forearm.

A rack attack spells the end and the win for the diva’s champion.
Official Result: Nikki Bella

-Commercial Break-

Before the match, Miz has a small promo saying that if he loses, Sandow will be fired. Or something along those lines.

Match 2: The Miz vs Ryback
Lockup! Miz sends Ryback into the corner, Some stomps and hits until Miz tries to whip him out of the corner. Ryback holds on, though, and slams Miz down on the mat. Miz rolls out of the ring. Ryback holds Miz up and tells Sandow to hit The Miz. Sandow considers it. Miz with an elbow to Ryback, then tells Sandow to put the fist down. Miz forces the issue, but Ryback is here to send Miz back in the ring. Spinebuster.
Meathook Clothesline to Miz! Ryback looks to finish it! Shellshock! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Ryback
Can we just get the match at Mania already?

In the ring, Sandow goes to check on The Miz. For his troubles, The Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale! It appears that Sandow is fired…

We are taken back to RAW last monday where Cena forced Rusev to give him a match. You know, in case you forgot.

After a break, we get another Sheamus promo. Back in the ring, Michael Cole is here to introduce Rusev and Cena for the contract signing. Cole tells Cena in front of him is the contract, and would he please sign. Cena grabs the binder as the crowd does its duel chants. He mentions Rusev, and says that he is the champion of the United States. Take a second to look at what that really means. Cena stares at the flag, says this match at Mania is important. He can beat Rusev’s ass tonight, but it does no good. He needs that title. Because that title represents each and every one of us. Tonight, he will sign this contract and say enough is enough. These are the facts: Rusev has the luxury to live in America, America has provided him with great opportunity, but all that happens is Rusev disrespects the country – disrespects home. Cena has stood on the front line with the brave men and women that protected our rights, but Cena is ashamed to look them in the eye with Rusev as the US Champion. Cena calls the contract a Declaration of Independence, and Mania is their revolution.

Cole introduces the champion, who comes out…without Lana. Instead, a suited dude accompanies him to the ring. Cole tells Rusev it is his turn to sign the contract. Rusev pushes the contract aside. WE WANT LANA chant. haha. The dude, with the yellow-tinted glasses has the mic. The man says Rusev will not be signing this contract. Rusev will not be competing against Cena at Mania. Rusev did not agree to this – or any other match for that matter. Exhibit A – Stephanie says that Rusev must change his mind. Exhibit B – Lana making the decision to give the match to Cena come Mania. There is no evidence of Rusev here, the only man able to make this decision. This contract is null and void. However, says the man. If Cena can extend the courtesy of freedom of speech to Rusev and allow him to read his statement in full.

JBL completely kills the dude that is playing this character which really, really ruins any legit heat they are attempting to get.

Rusev unfolds his statement.

“America lives and dies with its belief of second chances. John Cena, I defeated you at WWE Fastlane yet you try at continuing to have another chance, and that’s because you’re weak. Weakness is just one of the many problems with America.”

Rusev then says American children will grow to be failures, while Cena removes his shirt – because, you know, that’s offensive man.

“American people are stains in history. America is the cancer to the world. Oh Say can you see this stupid little land” haha.

Rusev calls America “this stupid little country. A country that will die.

The USA chant gives Cena some gumption to growl more as Rusev lifts the pen and – just after he signs, he flips the table to Cena and heads out of the ring. Cena picks up the contract and holds tight, as the Russian flag drops.

That took way too fucking long.

-Commercial Break-

A promo before the match starts proves that Kidd and Cesaro can clap better than New Day.

Before the match officially starts, Los Matadores come out.

Match 3: New Day vs Cesaro and Tyson Kidd
Big E and Kidd to start. Kid goes low then runs into a Belly to Belly. Tag to Kofi. He comes in with a kick then a pin for 1..NO! Kofi works the arm, kicks the leg, locks te head, but Kidd sends him into the corner and Cesaro gets a blind tag. Cesaro with an uppercut to Kofi. Cesaro attacks the head, but Kofi hits right, whip is reversed. Kofi hops off the 2nd rope, but Cesaro moves, and Kofi hits the floor. Cesaro knocks Big E off the apron and starts the Big Swing. The ref prevents Kiddd from going in, and the distraction allows Kofi to kick out of the corner and hit a crossbody into a pin for 1..2..NO! kidd gets involved. Big E is there. Cesaro sends Big E out.

Kofi sets up for Trouble in Paradise, but Cesaro ducks and Kofi hits Kidd! Cesaro with the rollup! Pin for 1…2..3!!!
Official Result: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro

After the match, Los Matadores go up to Kofi, and after a few short words, Xavier Woods attacks. Los Matadores get the upperhand, send Woods into the ring. Cesaro hits the Nuetralizer. El Torito hops off the apron and attacks Cesaro. A hurricanrana sends Cesaro to the outside. Matadores stand tall in the ring with their little buddy.

Another recap, this time of Wyatt from last week.

-Commercial Break-

Backstage, Seth is chatting with J&J. He tells them that they need to be on the top of their game. They need to listen to every word he says. He can’t be left high and dry. Jamie said that Seth told him to leave. Seth tells them not to argue with him. Jamie says that if Seth would have just listened to him, they wouldn’t have been in this mess to begin with. Seth just slaps Jamie in the face. Joey gets in the middle of them. Jamie defends himself so Seth says he’s got half a mind to fire his ass. Jamie then quits. Seth says they don’t need him anyway, right Joey? Joey looks at Seth, then walks off as well. Seth says he doesn’t need them anyway. Well then…

Cole and Co introduce a candid interview with Brock.

It’s a video package with interview moments spliced in. He says he was put on this earth to hurt people. Is it sadistic? Maybe to some. He enjoys it. It’s what he does. That’s why he is here. What does Mania mean to Brock Lesnar? it’s a day I get to show up, kick someone’s ass, and get paid to do so. We see evidence of this with some moments from Taker vs Brock. The Undertake didn’t stand a chance, says Brock. What does Brock think about the disappointed people? He doesn’t care. Surprise, disappointment, he loves every minute of it. Here’s his take on his contract with the WWE: There’s one thing for sure – if he stays, he’ll be WWE Champion. If he goes, he’ll be WWE Champion. Roman Reigns will not stand in the way of that. As a rookie, he came in and sent The Rock to Hollywood. He ended the streak. He suplexed John Cena out of the main event. This is his world. He doesn’t need to hunt. If you think Brock Lesnar in hunt mode, stay tuned fro Brock Lesnar in defense mode. Roman can think whatever he wants, because come Mania, Brock is going to kick his ass. This isn’t a fairy tale. There’s no feel good moment. At Wrestlemania, Brock is going to Fuck up Roman Reigns. The End.

-Commercial Break-

Match 4: The Big Show vs Erik Rowan
We come to the match already beginning. Show with kicks to the floored Rowan, followed by a KO punch. Instead of pinning, Show hops to the 2nd rope and dives off with an elbow to Rowan. No pin, apparently.


Official Result: The Big Show
Since when was an elbow off the 2nd rope “devestating?”

Announcement of Larry Zbysko entering the Hall of Fame.

After a commercial break, we cut to the show with a bunch of jobbers. Kane is on the mic. He claims that he invited everyone out here for a demonstration of what’s going to happen. As he drops the mic, Mark Henry heads out. In the ring, we’ve got Fandango, Zack Ryder, Darren Young, Kane, Goldust, Titus, Heath, Curtis Axel is smartly on the outside. Rose is there too. Jack Swagger.

So anyways, what we get here is a mini Battle Royal that sees Henry ross people out like nothing, Kane does the same. We end up with Kane and Henry as the last two. They stall, stare each other down. Kane with an uppercut. Henry against the ropes. He gets a headbutt then lifts Kane like nothing and tosses him over. Kane on the apron, though. Axel runs in, tries to knock both out but ends up sending JUST Kane over. He tries to do the same to Henry, but Henry grabs him and sends him over the top rope. Henry exits, and goes to stare down the trophy like a prized cheeseburger.

-Commercial Break-

Back to the show, and they are pimping a “6-Being Interspecies Match.”

Just….what?

Lillian is here to welcome Paul Heyman! He is in the ring with a scowl. Let’s hope his mic is working. Ladies and Gents, his name is Paul Heyman, and he is the advocate for the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world, Brock Lesnar – the single most credible, authentic and legit champ in the WWE or MMA then, now, and forever. It is in that spirit within that credibility and authenticity that he must come out here tonight and tell us that his client used this whole concept of rules that are in post as something that must have been written by a pacifist. His client is not a pacifist, his client is a conqueror – a beast. Brock Lesnar is not coming to Mania to make love, he’s coming to Mania to make war. WAR on Roman Reigns. And here’s something that nobody has thought about. What’s going to happen when Brock decides to violate those boundaries that are being imposed upon him? What are they going to do? Turn off the lights? Cut the feed? Are they going to give the crowd their money back? It’s not possible, because we are stuck with Brock as champion. Heyman’s mic…again. hahaha. Heyman is pissed. Doing that to him is one thing. But what are they going to do when Brock does what he’s not supposed to do? No one can stop Brock Lesnar, not even Roman Reigns, and that’s a shame because if there was one person that could really live up to the hype, it was Reigns. He WAS the standout at NXT, he did win the Rumble, he got passed Bryan, he was the bad ass of The Shield, but what’s going to happen when reality Bitch slaps him across the face come Mania? To his client, Roman Reigns is not the next great Samoan AmeriCAN, he’s the next great Samoan AmeriCANT. Reigns, you can’t beat up Brock Lesnar. You can’t beat Brock Lesnar at Mania, for the title at Mania. Reigns’ father should have told him a long time ago..

REIGNS is here! He enters the ring with the mic. He says he has respect for Paul. He’s possibly the best talker ever in this business. A lot of people think he’s talking trash about his family, but no he’s just warning everyone of where he’s from. Reigns issue isn’t with Heyman, it’s with his client. Reigns looks at the hard camera with those smokey eyes. If Brock was here, he’d tell him face to face. But he thinks they finally see eye to eye. He’s not going into this thing expecting a happy ending. He’s expecting a fight, hoping for a WAR. Reigns has a huge family, so he’s going to have plenty of people to carry him out, but while he’s being carried out – he’ll be carrying the championship on this shoulder. The crowd tries to start a Daniel Bryan chant. Right next to that championship will be a huge chip on his shoulder, but come Mania, he’s going to beat Brock Lesnar’s ass. Not because he wants to, not because he needs to, but because he can. He will. And he believes….that.

Recap of Rollins losing all of his friends tonight.

Heyman is walking with purpose backstage. Renee wants his comments. Heyman calls Reigns cool, calm, and collected but he loves it. Reigns is a formidable opponent. If Reigns wants to play chess with the chessmaster, then so be it. Next week, if Reigns wants to be face to face with Brock,then he’ll have that opportunity. But beware, because Brock will have the opportunity to say or do whatever he wants come next week. Reigns has a week to think about it. Because he CAN think about it…but he can’t do anything about it.

After everyone involved in the six man comes out, R-Truth heads out to presumably watch.

Match 5: Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, and Dean Ambrose vs Wade Barrett, Luke Harper, and Stardust
Ambrose and Stardust to start. AMbrose tries to corner Stardust, but ends up with a side headlock. TOss to the ropes, anmd Ambrose sends Cody down. he hops over and hits a throat check. Stardust on the ropes, but Ambrose drps a knee. Apparently, Truth has the title clipped to the back of his shirt. In the ring, Ambrose reverses a whip into the corner. Splash and a bulldog from Ambrose. Suplex in the middle of the ring. Ambrose stomps the hand of Stardust and tags in Bryan. Bryan with an uppercut. Stardust with a right. Uppercut. Right hand. Uppercut. Cody is hung up on the ropes. Bryan grabs the legs and pulls him in the middle of the ring. Bryan locks the legs for the surfboard. YES Chant for Bryan. He holds in the Surfboard then slides it back into a pin for 1…2..NO! Bryan lifts Cody, hits another uppercut. Kick to the chest. ANother. A few more. The crowd is fully behind it. Bryan tweaks the arm. Doph with a blind tag. Bryan seems bothered by it. Dolph grabs the arm of Cody. Since he’s arguing, Cody tries for a clothesline, but Daniel sends him over the top rope! Harper and Wade look to enter the ring, but with all the face in there, they head to th outside instead.

We’re back with Ziggler and Cody in the ring. neckbreaker from Ziggler and an elbow to Cody! Ziggler up and hits a hard DDT to Cody! Pin for 1..2..NO! In the corner, Ziggler hops over the ropes and hangs up Cody. Harper distracts, and Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster kick to the head! Ziggler lands hard on the outside. The crowd chants for Cody, and Cody shows some craziness. On the outside, Barrett sends Ziggler into the apron back first. He sends Ziggler in and follows. Barrett was tagged. He covers for 1…2.NO! Wade sends Dolph in the corner hard then sets him up horizontally. He attacks the back with hard right hands, then leaves Dolph dangling there. Wade runs with a hard knee to the gut of Ziggler. Pin for 1…2..NO! Tag to Cody who grabs the arm then tags in Harper. Harper with a few kicks to ZIggler, then he uses the ropes for more pressure. Ziggler reaches out. Harper lifts the head of Dolph. Uppercut. Tag to Wade. Harper locks Ziggler in the corner. Wade with a kick to the gut. Wade with a neckbreaker! Looked great. Pin for 1…2..NO! Wade locks the face then sends Dolph to the corner. Tag to Harper. Harper whips Barrett towards Dolph, but Dolph moves! Barret is sent over the top rope! Harper enters, but Dolph sends him to the outside!!! Cody enters! Back body drop to Cody! Dolph reaches for the tag…he nearly gets there, but Wade pulls Bryan off the apron!!! Harper in! He looks for a powerbomb, but Ziggler escapes ! Fameasser!! Pin for 1…2..NO!!! Broken up by Wade and Stardust!! Everyone enters the ring! Cody and Ambrose outside. Wade and Bryan also! Inside the ring, Harper hits a kick then a hard powerbomb! Pin! 1….2….NO!!!

HORRIBLE TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL!!!

Back, and Wade has Ziggler in a chinlock. Ziggler has stood out of it and hit some rights. Wade sets up for the Winds of Change, but Ziggler turns it into a DDT. Both men are down. Tag to Bryan! He comes in a house of fiyah!!! Dropkick in the corner! He hops off the corner, ducks a clothesline from Wade! Tag from Ambrose!! Suicide Dive from Bryan!!! In the ring, Ambrose goes for the tag, but Cody enters! He sets up biut Ambrose gets out! Ambrose with a bunch of hits!! Cody hits a right, Ambrose bounces off the ropes and sends Cody down! Harper enters! Big Boot to Ambrose!!! Ziggler enters, looks for a kick of his own, but hits Bryan who is on the apron!!! Wade enters, looks for Wasteland!

He sends Ziggler to the outside! Barrett wants the Bull Hammer! Ambrose reverses! DIRTY DEEDS! Pin for 1…2…3!!!!
Official Result: Dolph Ziggler, Dean Ambrose, and Daniel Bryan
Rating: ***
Saweeeeet!

After the match, Harper attacks Ambrose. He sends Ambrose to the outside then tosses Ambrose directly into R-Truth! Truth tries to head to the back, but Cody is there to take the title just as Harper is attacked by Dean! Ambrose goes on the chase to Cody, and catches him in the crowd. He attacks and grabs the title, then heads back towards the ring. Ambrose drops the title just as Cody pulls the leg of Cody. The title lands at the feet of Truth. He grabs the belt and heads…right into Luke Harper. Harper says no and asks for the title. Truth moves the title this way and that then tosses it in the ring…right in front of Bryan, which sends the crowd into a flurry! Ambrose hops off the barricade with a clothesline as Bryan grabs the belt. Ziggler is there. They both grab it. THEY BOTH hitr rights to each other over and over!!! Cody with a Beautiful Disaster, but Ziggler moves! Harper in!!! Running Knee to Harper! Barrett enters! BULL HAMMER to Ziggler! BULL HAMMER to Bryan!!! BULL HAMMER to JESUS!!!

“WHO’S THE BLOODY MAN!?!?!”

Recap of Cena signing the contract for his battle with Rusev.

Recap of Wyatt from last week. This leads into the present time.

A memory is such a treasure. Wyatt remembers the first time he saw him. Wyatt brings up a she. Says that she told Wyatt about people like Taker. Last week, Taker tried to use this symbol to burn fear into Wyatt’s heart. The only thing one succeeded in doing is turning a chair into dust. So you see, the chair is in the urn…

Here’s the big question, Deadman. Everyone is asking what’s left of The Undertaker. Agony? Fear? Last year, we saw a broken streak and a broken, empty soul and now Taker’s afraid to show his face beacause he knows in that moment, the eyes of the entire world will open. Such a tragedy, really, what happened to him. His destiny taken. This is all your fault, says Wyatt, and now Taker is out of time. His fate is sealed. Wrestlemania will be The Undertaker’s Requim, but it will also be Wyatt’s coronation, and he’ll take his rightful place among the gods. The Undertaker is a watcher of light and darkness, but after Mania, no one is safe.

-Commercial Break-

Orton enters the ring. Seth’s music hits, and he comes out with a mic. He says it took Orton three weeks to make every single member of The Authority look like fools. It took him one night to make Orton look like one. The Authority comes out to join him.

Orton realizes this and goes out to grab a chair. The entirety of The Authority heads down the ramp. J&J, Show, and Kane surround the ring. Trips, Steph, and Seth stand at the edge of the ramp. Seth removes his thick coat of leather and gives the orders to attack. The Authority hops on the apron, and it doesn’t look nearly as cool as when Wyatts or The Shield did it…Everyone enters the ring, about to attack…

The lights go out, and a crow beckons! STING is in the ring with Orton!!! He’s got his bat! Sting attacks! Orton attacks!!! Pretty fucking cool..

The crowd is going NUTS!! Stinger Splash to J&J in the corner! Kane and Show are on the outside. Seth is, too. Sting stares down Triple H. H is pissed. He tosses his jacket so you know it’s real. Scorpion Death Drop to Jamie! Sting grabs the bat, beckons for Triple H. Joey stirs. Orton hears voices!! RKO TO JOEY MERCURY!!!

Sting and Orton stand tall while Triple H stares both men down.

End Show.

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411's WWE RAW Report, RAW, Tony Acero