411’s WWE RAW Report 4.30.12

Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 4.30.12
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: CM Punk
World Champion: Sheamus
US Champion: Santino Marella
IC Champion: Cody Rhodes
Unified Diva’s Champion: Layla
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Primo and Epico

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We are fresh off the Pay Per View where John Cena presumably stole the show by saying…absolutely nothing. With rumors swirling and the news that Triple H will be here tonight for some sort of announcement, tension is high and interest is heightened. Of course, after the Pay-Per-View, there is sure to be other fallouts to pay attention to. Let’s see what goes down!

As promised, tonight’s RAW is Starring Brock Lesnar! We get the Power of the People theme, and here is Johnny Ace! He introduces himself, in case we didn’t know who he is and what he does. He said in one night, he revolutionized the WWE. He says we should thank him for bringing the most dangerous athelete. A face that will be synonymous with the WWE in the future. A man who brought legitimacy back to the WWE. He then introduces Brock Lesnar to the show.

Brock is here, with boos following. Last night, the world got to witness first hand, Brock Lesnar bringing the pain, he says. This is exactly what he told the world he was going to do. Ace says ya damned skippy he did, but here comes Triple H to break up the party. He’s suited up! Ace looks happy. Triple H shakes the hand of Brock as Ace gloats. Brock, noticeably, dropped his mic and stares at HHH. Triple H says that he’s out here to do what Ace is supposed to do, but Ace doesn’t have the guts to do it. Triple H looks to Brock. He says that his days of holding up the WWE are through. The private jet that he flew in on here today will not be taking him back home. The limo that brought him here is gone as well.There’s no raise, no special treatment, none of it. The name of the show will stay Monday Night RAW. Nobody is bigger than the WWE. If Brock wants to stay, then he is allowed to stay with the contract that was negotiated originally. Triple H claims that he will not be approving the contract from last Monday. Ace says that he was entrusted with this responsibility, and in the interest of fairness, he should keep the word that was given to him. Triple H pulls out the contract and rips it up. He is not approving it.

Trips says Brock is not some country bumpkin, he’s a shrewd business man, but he’s not getting any of what he requested. He tells Brock that Triple H wants him here. The Universe wants him here. The Universe wants to see Brock in a rematch with Cena, they want to see Brock face off with Orton, Punk, Sheamus, etc. But if Brock is going to give it to them, he’s going to do it under the previous contract that was offered to him. Borck looks over at Ace, waiting for some help. Trips says that if Brock wants to take his ball and pack it away, with his loss to John Cena, and go home…so be it.

Ace on the mic, says he doesn’t think it’s fair to put a talent of Brock’s stature in this position. H says it’s between Brock and him. He asks Brock how he feels, and here’s Ace, pestering him from behind. He tells him to just shut up. Triple H claims to want Brock here. Ace doesn’t shut up, and calls Triple H disrespectful. Triple H turns around and says that he doesn’t think that Ace understands. When he turns, Brock attacks Triple H!!! He rips the jacket off of Triple H and lays in with some lefts. Triple H tries to fight back but Brock looks to lock in the kimora! Brock cinches it and Cole claims that Brock broke Triple H’s arm. Big Show, Kofi, R-Truth, Sheamus and Little Jimmy all come down to help! (Remember when they all walked out on Triple H?) Brock leaves the ring and tosses some steps. Triple H is claiming that the arm is broken as Brock gets walked out.

In the back, the medical staff are checking up on him, and he claims he can’t move his arm. He can move his fingers, though.

Eve is out at the top of the ramp and claims that the No. 1 Contender for the WWE Championship will be determined tonight in a Beat the Clock competition. There will be five of them. Eve is sportin some specs, which doesn’t help her with the her lines as she messes up a couple of times. The first match is now.

Match 1: The Miz vs. Santino
Santino looks for some kicks, but Miz ignores them. Santino with an arm drag into a cover for 1. A front faced lock rolled into another pin for 1. Both men are up. We are notified that Brock has been escorted out of the building. Miz with a high knee and a pin for two. Miz looks for a suplex, but Santino floats over, hits the ropes and fires back with a shoulder block and a pin for 1. Santino runs and miz kicks off the ropes then hits Santino dead in the face and covers for 1…2…NO. Miz hits some boots in the corne then sends Santino flying. Santino runs back and rolls up Miz for 1…2..NO! Miz hits a faceplant then pins for 1…2…NO! Miz flies in the corner with a running clothesline, takes some time to gloat, then goes up top. He flies off the top rope with an axe handle and a pin for 1…2…NO!!! Miz with some rights then another pin. 1…2…NO! Miz with the cravat from behind. Santino is able to stand and hit a Saito suplex. Both men are up and Miz runs, but Santino lifts up and send Miz to the top of the ropes. Santino with some punches, Maiz runs, Santino with the splits, hip toss, headbutt! He calls for the Cobra. He is about to hit it, but Miz ducks and gets a roll up on Santino for 1…2…REVERSED by Santino for 1….2…NO!!! Miz from out of nowhere with the Skull Crushing Finale! 1…2….3!!
Winner: The Miz (**1/2)
TIME TO BEAT: 4:18
I like the fast paced matches, but this kind of defies last night’s happenings. I’d say they’re trying to push The Miz again, but considering there’s four more Beat the Clock matches, it’s highly unlikely.

We’re back, and the Bella Twins are in the middle of the ring looking very lucious! They’re going to a part of a Triple Threat, it appears, between them two and the lovely and returning Layla!

Speaking of hot television, be sure to check our fellow 411 writer, Michael Ornelas newest episode of Shenanigans! Be sure to let him know I sent you 😉

Match 2: Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella vs. Layla
The Bellas are arging a bit so Layla takes the opportunity to dropkick the twins, sending one to the outside, and rolling up the other Bella for the 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Layla (NR)
Man, Layla looks adorable.

Somewhat suddenly, we move on to our next match.

Match 3: Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show
Show is quick with the right uppercuts in the corner, then a hard chop into a body slam and a pin for 1…2…NO! Show with another hard chop, then he backs up into Jericho in the corner, hits the ropes, and is met with a low dropkick from Jericho! Jericho with a right to the face of Show, another, a few more, followed by a dropkick to the face. Show shoves Jericho up and off at the count of 1. Jericho goes up top, and flies right into a chop from Show. Show goes up top this time, looking for a splash, but Jericho moves! We’ve got 2:30 left and Jericho hits a lionsault. He pins for 1….2…NO! Jericho with a kick, he grabs the lef leg of Show, then the other. He’s looking for the Walls. Jericho rolls to the left and rolls up into a small package! 1…2..NO! Jericho planst Show and Show kicks out with authority again. Jericho attacks the back, then a few kicks to the head. Jericho hits the ropes. 1:30 to go. Here’s Show with the spear! Pin for 1…2….NO! Miz is in the back, watching. Show calls for the WMD. Jericho stands with his back to show. he goes for it, but Jericho ducks and goes for the Codebreaker. Show lifts him, though and sends him towards the apron. We’ve got 30 seconds left ans Jericho and Show head outside the ring. Show pushes Jericho towards the barricade then goes for a boot, but Jericho moves. At the count of 9, Jericho gets back in the ring. The ref says there was one second left before the clock hit zero. The ref awards him the win. A lil confusion ensues as we go to break.
Winner: Chris Jericho (**)
The downfall of the Beat the Clock competition is the issue with pacing and time management. Essentially knowing that every match is most likely going to be four minutes or less kind of ruins some of them. This one obviously was hurt by the gimmick more than helped.

According to Michael Cole, the Jericho and Big Show match could not beat the clock, which means that neither move forward and Miz is still the time to beat, at 4: 18.

Match 4: Brodus Clay vs. JTG
King claims to want to see Michael Cole have a dance contest with Naomi. He did. It was horrible. Lockup is short lived as brodus sends JTG to the ropes then to the corner. He gyrates and pisses JTG off. JTFG kicks, goes again, but Brodus holds onto the leg and sends JTG to the ropes. Headbutt sends JTG down. A hard hit to the gut followed by a bodyslam. “My Bad” claims Brodus, before dropping an elbow. Brodus lifts up JTG, but JTG floats over and cips the knee. He tries to knock Brodus down, but Brodus hits a headbutt then splashes JTG in the corner. Brodu with the T-Bone. He hits the ropes, hits the opposite, splash onto JTG and a pin for 1…2….3!!
Winner: Brodus Clay (*)
If only Brodus were in the Beat the Clock competition, right?

Brodus brings in some kids to dance along with brodus. One kid’s got more moves than Brodus. Before we move on, we get a little package of the Cena vs. Brock match.

In the back, Teddy has a large sign withh his name on it. Eve tells Teddy to leave. She then tells Ace to take a seat and get a grip. She tells him to calm down as he stares at her boobies. Eve says she gets it, Brock is gone. He destroyed HHH and Ace will most likely get blamed for it. She tells him that the Board is watching and we need a leader. He changed the WWE in one night, what are we going to do? Who is Cena’s next opponent. He says he knows, and he can guarantee that John will not like it. He smirks.

We get photos of Kane vs Orton’ Falls Count Anywhere match, where they went everywhere…from the windows, to the walls.

Match 5: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger with a go behind, Orton revereses and sends Swagger head first into the turnbuckle then rolls up fo ra pin but only gets a 1. Swagger shoots for the leg. He sends Orton in the corner and hits some shoulders. Orton with a kick, rolls over a running shoulder and rolls up a pin on Swagger but only gets a 2. Orton with a clothesline and a pin for 1. Swagger in the corner and kicks Orton then hits a Swagger Bomb and pins for 1…2…NO! Swagger is up. He kicks Orton, sets up the gutwrench, but Orton hops out and hits a backbreaker and a pin for 1…2…NO! Orton with a right hand, he whips Swagger to the ropes, misses a clothesline, and Swagger takes the knee out! Swagger knocks Orton down then pins for 1…2…No! Swagger with rights in the corner. He gets pulled back by t he ref and Orton strarts in with some rights. Swagger with a knee, though, and an elbow to the back. Double chickenwing as he looks at the clock. Swagger with a nice pin but only gets a 2. Swagger with a stomp on the chest and he’s llooking for another Swagger Bomb. Orton is up quick, and kicks Swagger in the gut. Clothesline, another, powerslam. Swagger, stupidly, rolls outside to the apron, and Orton sets up for the rope-assisted DDT. He hits it and 30 seconds are left. He’s calling for the RKO. Swagger turns, Orton goes for it, Swagger locks in the ankle lock. 15 seconds left!! Orton rolls out, RKO! Pin at 4 seconds. He wins with 2 seconds left!!!
Winner: Randy Orton (***1/2)
NEW TIME TO BEAT: 4:16
If you’re going to have a match that lasts four minutes, you’d want it to be something like this. Orton continues to be on point, and Swagger shows that he’s got the skills, still.

King informs us that tonight, the tag team titles are on the line against Truth and Kofi. Cole informs us that Ace is going to pick Cena’s opponent for Over the Limit, which leads me to beleive that he’s not going anywhere…

Breaking News: According to WWE.com, The Bella Twins have been fired.

Match 6: WWE Tag Team Championship Match:
Primo and Epico (w/ Rosa Mendes vs. R-Truth and Kofi Kingston (w/ Lil Jimmy)
Primo and R-Truth start off here. Primo tries to talk to Lil Jimmy. He kicks Lil Jimmy!! HOW DARE HE!! Truth shoots and hits some rights, hits the ropes then comes back with a shoulderblock. Truth hits the ropes, does a little jig and hits a right had before sending Primo over the ropes to the ground. Truth asks the crowd What’s Up as we go to break

We’re back and Truth is being sent to the ropes by Primo. Truth tries to attack Epico, but Primo is there to hit ihim in the back. Primo stomps Truth then tags in Epico. Epico continues the stomps then pulls the leg and pins for 1…2…NO! Epico with a right, then shoves his head to the corner and tags Primo in. Truth tries to fight back. He attacks both! He’s gaining momentum, but Epico sends Truth right into a dropkick! Primo with a pin for 1…2…NO! Primo stomps Truth’s head then pins for 1…2..NOO! Primo with a cravat. Truth with some rights to the fut, but Primo hits one of his own, then hits the ropes. Truth hits a high heel kick and both men are down. They’re looking for tags. Here comes Kofi and Epico. Kofi flies off with a head chop, a right. Sends Primo off the apron then hits a clothesline and he calls for the Boom Drop! He hits it! Kofi is looking for Trouble in Paradise, here’s Primo and Kofi hits him. Rosa is on the apron, she distrracts the ref and Epico looks for the backcracker. Kofi pushes him though, and Truth hangs Epico up on the ropes. Trouble in Paradise from Kofi! Pin for 1….2…3!
Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (***)
While I don’t necessarily agree with the win, the match was fun. Truth played a good face in peril, and Kofi came in with the fire. I wish they would have done something with Epico and Primo instead of just having them flounder. I’d say there’s something big going on with the Tag Team Titles now, but I highly doubt that.

Backstage, Primo and Epico are arguing about their loss when Abraham Washington walks up. He sys that if he had the opportunity to represent them, they wouldn’t have lost the titles. He is cut off as we head to the ring for something way more important…The Great Khali.

Match 7: The Great Khali vs. Kane
Kane starts with a kick, then some rights and left, Khali sends Kane to the corner and hits a back elbow then a couple of kicks. Khali calls for the chop. He hits it hard, and Kane shakes it off a bit. Khali sends Kane back into the corner and goes for another chop. Kane calls for the chokeslam, but Kane fires back with a right. Kane hits the ropes and dropkicks the knee of Khali. He attacks with some right foots to the face of Khali. Kane watches the time then hits a sloppy DDT and a pin for 1….2..NO! Kane with some rights on the grounded Khali. Kane pins again for 1…2..NO! Kane with a chin lock from behind and hitting a few blows to the back of the head. Kane is going up top. Kane flies off with the clothesline, knocking Kane down and pins. 1….2…NO! 2:00 minutes left. Kane with another dropkick to the seated Khali. Pin for 1…2…NO! Kane with a right to the head of Khali, another. He chokes Khali with the boot then drops a right onto him as he lays on the apron. Uppercut from Kane at 1:17 left. Kane lifts Khali, but Kali pushes then hits a back elbow. Kane runs right into a boot. Khali with a hard clothesline. Hard chop to the head of Kane! Kane rolls out of the ring. :40 left. Khali heads over the ropes and goes after Kane. Kane with a right, an uppercut, Khali fires back and rolls him into the ring. Khali heads in and he’s got 10 seconds. Kane calls for a chokeslam, Khali looks for one, too. The time expires!
Winner: No Contest (*1/2)
Better than I expected, as Kane did all the work, but still not really noteworthy.

Kane is upset, so he chokeslams Khali as Orton celebrates a bit in the back.

Bryan is mentioned as being part of the Beat the Clock challenge. Let’s pray he doesn’t get another 18 second loss..

Match 8: Daniel Bryan vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler
Why? Bryan quickly on the attack. Bryan tosses King to the corner and hits a running Dropkick then pis for 1….2….NO! Right from Bryan. Another. One more to the head of King. King blocks one more and hits some rights of his own. Bryan with a headbutt into a snapmare and a pin for 1…2…NO! Bryan drops some rights nad pins again for 1…2..NO! King with a right and a kick and another right. He’s hitti the lefts this time. King with a dropkick and a pin for 1…2…NO! Bryan sends King to the corner then misses a dropkick as Lawler heads up top. He pulls down the strap and drops the fist! Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Lawler goes for the piledriver, but Bryan with the back body drop and a kick to the head. Bryan with the YES! Lock!!! Lawler wins with 1:55!! I didn’t see that coming.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (*1/2)
Bryan winning was a bit of an interesting surprise for the win.

CM Punk’s music hits, and the WWE Champion comes out with applause for Bryan. They smile at each other as Punk raises his belt in the air.

The cutout to the mystery opponent for Cena looks a lot like Ted DiBiase Jr.

We’re back with yet one more recap of what happened at the top of the show. Is it just my disdain for Cole, or does anyone else find it annoying that Cole mentions more than once how Triple H was here in “an executive capacity,” as if the suit causes him to lose all super powers he may have when he’s wearing his trunks….

Cena’s music hits, and here comes the man. Not “The Man,” just…the man. According to Cole, Cena suffered multiple muscle sprains and a laceration to the skull. Cena says that tonight, Triple H felt his arm break. Last night, he could have sworn he felt the same thing. He figured he’d be in the ER, but he’s not…he’s right here. He’ll have to wear the sling for a minute, but he gets to be here with us. No breaks were to be had in his arm, and an MRI shows no tears. Every muscle from shoulder to arm is strained, but he is HERE. Cena claims when you’re injured, they send you home, but when you’re hurt, they let you come out and do what he does best…so he is HERE. Here comes Ace.

Cena, and his grin, introduce Ace, unnecessarily. He wants to guess what Ace has up his sleeve. He thinks it’s Zeus who is his next opponent. Yeah, that went over the crowd’s head. Ace says when he chose Brock as the new face of the WWE, he was trying to motivate Cena. Cena questions his motives here. Cena says that he hired a mercenary to take him out. No, says Ace, he was trying to push Cena to the limit. Cena claims that he was trying to get pushed out the door. Ace wants to be thanked. The crowd chants WHAT and Cena caters to it then thanks Ace for being a short sighted corporate jackass who sounds like he’s smoked five lifetimes worth of cigarettes and has his head so far up his ass that he brushes his teeth with toilet paper. Ace says that Cena needs to be building a relationship with Ace because he has the power to make his life difficult. Cena calls him an idiot. Ace says that in the name of People Power, he’s willing to drop the past and talk about the future, at Over the Limit. He knows Cena isn’t ready to compete, but as he said earlier, he’s hurt – not injured. Ace wants to introduce Cena’s next opponent and it’s….

Lord Tensai’s music hits! His music hits and comes down the ring. He gets in with his little homie and looks to attack, but instead it’s Johnny Ace who attacks Cena! He grabs a mic and says that Cena’s opponent is HIM at “The Over Limit!!!” It’s a three on one assault to Cena’s arm! Tensai pulls on the arm of Cena atop the steps and Ace stomps him hard. Ace grabs a chair. Tensai is still holding the arm and Ace is looking to crush it. He does so with the chair. Johnny Ace stands tall with a scowl that is more akin to smelling a bad diaper as the show closes.