411’s WWE Raw Report 4.8.13
Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 4.08.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
IC Champion: The Miz
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane
Wilkommen, boys und girls, to ze “Mecca of Monday Nights” WWE RAW!
Following a rather, shall we say, divisive WrestleMania, DA CHAMP, or according to CM Punk the “soul-crushing status quo”, IS HERE! John Cena has at last found redemption or whatever he was looking for after defeating the Rock and claiming the WWE Championship for an eleventh time. Who will be the first to step and try to make Cena’s memorable victory a short-lived one?
For all the mind games and disrespect Punk played on the Undertaker, the Straight Edge Superstar brought it all against the Phenom, coming up just short in his bid to break the Streak. What’s next for “Mr. 434?”
Triple H, unlike his buddies Flair and HBK, gave retirement (at least full-on retirement) a big ol’ crotch chop, conquering Brock Lesnar in a downright nasty No Holds Barred match at last night’s Mania event. Has “The Game” seen the last of Lesnar, or are things going to get even more “extreme?”
All this and more as Raw begins!…shortly.
We are LIVE from the IZOD Center in New Jersey, with Michael Cole, JBL and “The King” on commentary.
WrestleMania 29 last night is highlighted, particularly John Cena triumphing over the Rock and exchanging a handshake and raising one another’s arms in victory.
The crowd is ALL OVER Cena as he makes his entrance, with a new “RTime = Now” t-shirt. We find out Rock tore his abdomen muscles mid-match, but kept it going for 15 more minutes. Damn it if that’s not dedication.
Cena says it should be every superstar’s dream to main event at WrestleMania, even more so to win it. There’s the adjulation, the respect, the cheers (BOO!), the cheers (BOOOOO!) and Cena’s actually a bit bemused by the boobirds. He wonders why they’re so angry. Cena’s upset himself. Mania’s over, but this is the Monday Night Raw after WrestleMania. “BORING” chants ring loudly. Cena reminds us how the Raw last year had Brock coming back and whipping his ass, which gets some cheers. Cena’s thinking a Championship dance, no kick, no step, but the heel twist gets a nice pop. He quotes Flair that he beat the man, he beat the Rock, and arose a new WWE Champion. The crowd is just all over Cena tonight. Cena thinks we should start it off big for the next “Road to WrestleMania”, wanting to defend the WWE Title tonight. He name drops Ziggler, Orton and Punk, before Mark Henry makes his large presence known.
“What’s up, Champ?” Henry tells him that the problem with looking for trouble is that will often find you. The crowd is having some fun with a “Sexual Chocolate” chant. Cena cracks wise about it, but Henry tells Cena to look at him when he’s talking. He dominated Ryback, and he’s been hearing all this talk. “FEED! ME! MORE!” chants. He wants some action against Cena. Cena cracks a breath joke and accepts Henry’s challenge for the WWE Title…but Booker T’s music hits.
The Hall-of-Fame GM says Cena won’t be making the match tonight, as Henry will face Cena one-on-one, but will get the title shot ONLY if he beats Cena tonight. Henry tells Cena to bring his A-Game and exits in a huff.
Del Rio faces off against the “Real Americans” Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger in a 2-on-1 handicap match, and Big E. Langston’s RAW debut match is up next!
Bryan tries to take the fight to Langston early, but Big E. drops him with a STO ala Samoa Joe out of the corner. Shoulders by Langston to Bryan, then a big back body drop. Bryan tries to fight back with some blistering kick, including a buzzsaw kick. Bryan goes up top, but AJ distracts the ref, and Ziggler trips up Bryan off the top rope. Kane goozles Dolph, but Langston biels Bryan over the ropes onto Kane, seemingly waylaying both men. Dolph rolls Bryan into the ring, and Langston hits the Big Ending for the definitive three count.
Winner: Big E. Langston
Josh Matthews interviews Kurt Warner at ringside for the new USA show “The Moment.”
The Miz defends his newly-won Intercontinental Championship against former champ Wade Barrett NEXT!
The “Slo-Mo Slam” is of Miz tapping Wade Barrett out last night at Mania to win the IC Championship.
Barrett has the jobber entrance as Miz makes his way down with his new championship.
Barrett starts out strong with right hands, but Miz floats out of the corner on a whip, hits a clothesline and a kick to the head for two. Barrett takes down Miz, reversed on a whip, sends Miz to the apron, who sunset flips Barrett for a near fall. Miz with the 10 punches and a rear chinlock, but Barrett comes back with a sharp elbow to the chest. Miz floats out of a back suplex and sends Barrett to the outside. He nails a baseball slide drop kick and a sledge to Barrett. Back in the ring, Miz back drops Barrett to the apron, and Barrett catches the ropes. Barrett grabs Miz and delivers a NASTY neckbreaker on the ring apron. Ooofah, that had to smart.
We go to a mid-match break…
Miz goes for the corner clothesline, but Barrett fires off the Winds of Change for a close near fall. Barrett drives his elbow off the apron into Miz on the outside. He rolls Miz into the ring for a two count. Barrett with a rear headlock, but Miz counters with a back suplex. Miz with big left hands. Barrett reverses the whip, but gets a big knee by Miz. Miz sidesteps, but they flub up the neckbreaker and the crowd lets them know about it. Miz hits the corner clothesline and axe handle for a two count. Miz sets up for the Figure Four, but Barrett fights out, and Miz hits the snap DDT for a near fall. Barrett tries for Wasteland, but Miz fights out. Barrett tosses Miz up on a charge, but Miz catches his leg and locks in the Figure Four! Barrett struggles and pulls himself towards the ropes, and makes it! Barrett looks like he’s going for a Bull Hammer from the top, but Miz catches him. He tries for a superplex, but Barrett slams Miz’s head on the steel post. Miz drops to the ring, looking out of it. Barrett revs up the Bull Hammer…he nails it! 1…2…3! New champion!
WAY better than the pre-show match, and Barrett regains the title. Looks like Miz’s win was just a way to heat the crowd up for Mania. Good to see how well that turned out.
Winner and NEW IC Champion: Wade Barrett
“Team Brickie” gushing about how well Mania went, and an angry Sheamus barges into their office, demanding a match with Show. Maddox acquiesces, but only with the knowledge that Sheamus owes them one. He could care less, as long as he can kick Show’s head off.
Booker T is getting praised backstage when Randy Orton stops him and gives Book congrats for the Hall of Fame induction. He asks for a match against Show, wanting to right the wrong of convincing Sheamus to trust the giant. Booker seems reluctant, but Orton butters him up as being a Hall of Famer and the only real GM. Booker agrees, and makes it Orton vs. Show. Methinks Sheamus won’t be liking that…
Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter out now. Colter says things didn’t go their way last night, and asks for something he hasn’t before: Support from us. He convinces the Jersey crowd into a “USA” chant as we go to commercial break.
We recap Henry and Cena’s confrontation and the match made between them by Booker T.
Ricardo makes his introductions for Alberto Del Rio.
Swagger and Del Rio lock up, break it up, and lock up again. Swagger with rights, but Del Rio fires back and tosses him into the turnbuckle and a kick to the back. Swagger’s thrown to the outside, and a tope by Del Rio sends Swagger over the announce table! Back in the ring, Del Rio comes off the top with a cross body for two. Colter gets in a cheap shot, and Swagger delivers a blow to Del Rio’s left leg. Swagger continues on the left leg. He drives Del Rio to the corner and delivers some big knees. Swagger wrenches on Del Rio’s ankle, but Alberto kicks out. Del Rio misses the enziguri, and Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock. Del Rio finds the ropes. Swagger tries to grab Del Rio, who locks in the Cross Arm Breaker on the ropes. Del Rio goes up top, but Swagger shoves him off into the barricade wall.
Swagger pins Del Rio for a two count. Swagger continue to work on the bad ankle. He misses a shoulder into the ring post. Del Rio is EN FUEGO with the clotheslines, but Swagger’s weight tweaks his bad ankle on the backbreaker. Del Rio’s thrust kick gets a near fall. Del Rio tries to psyche up, but Swagger with a belly-to-belly throw and cinches in the Patriot Lock. Del Rio finds the ropes, and Swagger tries for the Patriot Lock again. Del Rio counters into the Cross Arm Breaker, and Swagger taps!
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Doctors are checking on Del Rio’s injured ankle, crowd’s chanting hard for Ziggler…DOLPH ZIGGLER’S MUSIC HITS! HE’S CASHING IN!
Ziggler all over Del Rio with rights. He hits the Fame-asser for a CLOSE near fall. Alberto dodges a corner charge and hits the enziguri, but can’t follow up with the bad leg and only gets a two count. The crowd is MOLTEN for Ziggler right now. Del Rio psyches up for the Cross Arm Breaker…and he locks it in! Ziggler struggles…HE WRENCHES THE BAD LEG! Del Rio lets go and limps up in pain…ZIG ZAG BY ZIGGLER! 1…2…3! NEW WORLD CHAMPION! SHOW…ON!
Winner and NEW WORLD CHAMPION: Dolph Ziggler
Dolph celebrates in the ring with AJ and Big E. as the crowd pops HUGE for the New World Champion Show-Off.
Undertaker’s Streak continues at 21-0 and we hear from the Phenom himself NEXT!
The crowd pops big for the Phenom, who makes his way to the ring, 21-0 at WrestleMania, Streak intact. “Undertaker” chants ring loud throughout the arena.
Taker dedicated his match last night to the memory of Paul Bearer…THE SHIELD’S MUSIC HITS! This is their “historic impact”! The crowd is stunned for the first time tonight.
Rollins, Reigns, and Ambrose surround the ring. Taker’s ready…BOOM! Kane’s pyro hits! Brothers of Destruction reunion, YES YES YES! The Shield realize the numbers are too even for their liking and make a tactical retreat.
The main even, Mark Henry vs. John Cena, is NEXT!
Josh Matthews interviews Dolph Ziggler, who says THIS is his WrestleMania moment. It’s about DAMN time and he’s going to shine it up and show it off.
Truth with a shoulder block to Slater and an open handed palm strike. Slater with a punch to Marella, who tags right back out to Ryder, which gets a laugh for Santino and a pop for Jersey homeboy Ryder. Mahal with a punch but Ryder ducks, Mahal sends Ryder to the floor. McIntyre rolls Ryder back in. Frequent tags between 3MB keeping Ryder in their corner. Neckbreaker by Ryder. Truth and Mahal to the outside. Marella going for the Cobra. McIntyre stops Marella but Marella pulls away and “accidentally” hits the Cobra on Slater for the three count
Winners: Team Co-Bro & R-Truth
WrestleMania Week is highlighted, with TV shows, auctions and celebrities praising the excitement Mania brings, as well as the “Be A Star” Ant-Bully campaign and the WrestleMania Reading Challenge.
Orton and Sheamus argue over Orton going behind Sheamus’s back to get at Show. Sheamus shouts Orton down and says he will take care of it
Post-Mania interview with Big Show, in which he feels like Orton and Sheamus turned on him rather than the other way around. Yes, he was reckless with what he did in the ring, but Orton felt the need to steal his thunder. No one will do that to Show, not anymore.
Sheamus out to the ring, and asks the crowd if they want to see him kick Show’s ass. He wants Vickie to come out, but here comes the Viper instead.
Orton wonders why Sheamus is almost begging for support. Orton asks the crowd, and the Jersey crowd seems to tilt a little more in Orton’s favor. Turns out it’s the WWEActive match of the night, and we’ll see who faces the Big Show following the break.
Sheamus and Orton continue to argue in the ring, and the results turn out in Orton’s favor, 77% to 23%. Booker and Vickie out…and they make a match between Orton and Sheamus to see who faces Show? What was the point of the poll then?
The two lock up and exchange holds. The crowd with “Ole!” chants. Orton with a back elbow, but Sheamus with a shoulder block and a knee drop for a two count. Orton tries a hip toss, but Sheamus sticks him with a clothesline for two. Sheamus with the headlock, but Orton fights out and hits a Brody knee drop for two. Orton with the rear chin lock and the crowd’s all over the match. Sheamus counters out and gets a two count. He has a chin lock now and now we’re getting a “RVD” chant of all things. Sheamus with a Finlay Roll for two. Now a “JBL” chant! A “Lawler” chant! Orton counters a top-rope shoulder block with a dropkick! A “MICHAEL COLE” CHANT! Code Red! Code Red!
Sheamus fighting out with rights. Orton with a knee to the midsection. “ECW” chants now! Sheamus with kicks to Orton’s knee. They exchange rights, Sheamus gets the Irish Curse backbreaker for a near fall. The crowd’s doing the wave! Sheamus fires up with the IRISH HAMMERS! Sheamus with the knee lift! He’s goin’ a clubberin’ IF YOU W’ELL! Slingshot shoulder tackle. Orotn floats out, hits the snap back breaker. “RANDY SAVAGE” chant! Orton’s stunned by the chants! Orton with the clotheslines, the snap powerslam, and DA T-BONE! “HBK! HBK! HBK!” Snakebite DDT! Orton sizes Sheamus up, RK-NO! White Noise connects! “HBK! HBK! HBK!” He misses the Brogue Kick…Show’s music hits!
Winner: No Contest
Show tosses Sheamus into the ring post. He’s in the ring with Orton. “THANK YOU, BIG SHOW!” KO Punch to Orton, and the crowd’s popping BIG time for the giant. He drags Orton out, whips him into the barricade, then almost cuts him in half with a huge spear. Show with a HUGE biel, tossing Orton over the announce table into the barricade. He tosses aside a couple chairs and lays into Orton some more before walking off, the crowd only booing him because he wouldn’t toss “ONE MORE CHAIR!”
Turns out Cena vs. Henry is later in the night, darn crazy Raw with cash-ins, crazy Jersey crowds and scheduling slips…
The “Raw Rebound” is Fandango ALMOST making his debut at Old School Raw, denying Lawler some Fandan-goodness.
Fandango stretching out, dances out of a hold by Kofi. The crowd is humming Fandango’s theme song…I officially love this Jersey crowd. Jericho hits the ring!
Winner by DQ: Fandango
Jericho is beating up Fandango all around the ring. He tosses him over the barricade, bounces him off the announce table (knocking JBL’s hat off in a nice nod to their feud in 2008), and rolls him back in, locking in the Walls of Jericho before refs pull him off. Jericho calms down…NOT! Codebreaker to Fandango! And a pose to boot!
Fandango’s announced the winner by DQ, and he still takes the time to pronounce his name correctly despite having the crap beat out of him. The crowd is dancing and singing his theme song…looks like Fandango got the “Bryan” Mania pop!
Cena’s championship win is all over the talk show circuit. Cena vs. Henry still to come tonight!
Cole and company recap the Triple H-Brock Lesnar match, and despite the Kimura Lock a number of times, Triple H’s arm is healthy.
Paul Heyman, backstage with Josh Matthews, is amused that ignorance is still bliss in New Jersey. The crowd almost bites, but no dice for the “Heyman guys” in the Jersey crowd. Heyman asks HBK and HHH feel after getting smashed in by Brock Lesnar. Lesnar is ready to fight…next week. Punk would like to talk about his match against Taker and will do so…next week on Raw.
The two intergender teams make their entrances, with Rhodes Schloars getting a nice pop from the Jersey crowd. The match is up next as Tons of Funk come out decked in pinstripes.
Naomi with the “Rear View” to one of the Bellas. They tag out to Cody…but Naomi with the head scissors! “SWEET-T” with a ROLLING SENTON SPLASH to Cody! Wow! He’s a shovelin’! Bellas distract, Cody hits the Disaster Kick, and a double butt bump by the Bellas. Lucky bastard, that Tensai. Sandow tags in with the Cubito Aequet for a two count, but Tensai comes back and tags in Brodus, who headbutts, splashes and T-Bones Sandow. Bellas break up the cover, Funkadactyls take them down. Cody sent over the top rope by Tensai, Sandow with rights to Tensai, but ends up *crunch* sandwiched by Tensai and Clay. Double SPLAT! gets the three count!
Winners: Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls
We get another preview of “The Moment” with Kurt Warner on the USA Network.
Cena dances, literally, around Henry, and the big man ain’t having none of that as he flattens Cena. Headbutt by Henry. Hard whip to the corner by Henry, who misses a splash. Cena’s shoulder block doesn’t work the first time, but knocks Henry down the second time and Henry rolls outside. He catches Cena coming out and bounces his head off the announce table. JBL’s right, where’s the Spanish Announce Table when you need it? Henry tries to put Cena through the table, but Cena slips out. AA attempt fails, but Cena shoves Henry into the steps. The ref’s counting…Cena’s back in, Henry’s not.
Winner by Countout: John Cena
The crowd’s not liking the ending; neither does Henry as he lays Cena out, then hits the World’s Strongest Slam! He hoists the WWE Title high…FEED! ME MORE! Ryback hits the ring! Meathook to Henry! He takes Henry out of the ring! Crowd is anticipating as Ryback towers over Cena, but he extends a hand and they exchange a few terse words. Cena goes up to celebrate, but Ryback seems to steal the thunder with his “FEED! ME! MORE!” chants. Cena tries to get in on it…MEATHOOK TO CENA! The crowd’s popping big for Ryback! “FINISH! IT!” He’s got Cena up…SHELL-SHOCKED TO THE WWE CHAMPION! Ryback standing tall with WWE Championship in hand as we fade to black.
End (a crazy, unbelievable) show.