wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE Raw Report 5.15.17
Hello again, my fellow Universe members. I hope you enjoyed your day with your momma, and if you didn’t for whatever reason, I hope she had a good one.
Anyways, here’s Wonder RAW.
Last Monday was an uneventful Monday Night RAW, so what better way to start this week than to remind us of how droll it was?
Recap of Roman Reigns Ruining RAW. I don’t really mean that, but the alliteration pleases me.
We start RAW proper with Angle coming down to the pleasure of the crowd. Angle says that last week, the problem between Braun and Roman came to a head. Angle says Braun suffered a shattered elbow. He has since had surgery. Braun may be out of action for up to 6 months, and Braun had set his sights on the Universal title. So, who will challenge Brock for the title? He has given it a lot of thought, but it’s got to be earned. For the first time ever, we’re going to have a Fatal Five Way Match at Extreme Rules.
Seth Rollins, Samoa Joe, Finn Balor, Bray Wyatt, and Roman Reigns are all announced as part of the match.
Before Angle can head to the back, Roman Reigns interrupts.
According to Reigns, we don’t need a Fatal Five Way, because he is the number one contender. This is his yard. He beat The Undertaker. He took out Strowman. He’s the only guy around here that can beat Brock Lesnar.
Finn Balor obviously takes some offense to this, because he makes his way out. He is going to tell Roman exactly what he told Rollins two weeks ago. He was the first Universal Champion, and he never lost his title. So if Reigns wants a piece of the beast, the line starts behind him. Reigns tells Balor he has a lot of heart, but doesn’t have the killer instict to beat Brock. Finn reminds Reigns that his first night on RAW, he beat Roman.
Joe is here to say this isn’t about big hearts, yards, or clubs. It’s about actions and results. Action: Joe locks in the clutch on Rollins. Result: Rollins is unresponsive and his body goes limp. Action: Joe enters the Fatal Five Way. Result: He wins.
Bray Wyatt is done with the chit chat. He distracts and appears in the middle of the ring. He says The beast approaches, and all of them put on their brave faces, but he can feel them trembling. Roman, Joe, Finn, they will cower and fall and run.
Seth Freakin Rollins is here. Shocking.
He says that the PPV is a few weeks away, and he’s sure all five will mix it up somehow. This leaves a lot of time for talking, but Jersey came here for fighting. More specifically, Seth came here to fight Joe. THEY BRAWL!!!
Joe meets Rollins at the bottom of the ramp. Wyatt attacks Finn and Roman attacks Bray. Seth attacks Joe’s knee against the ropes while Wyatt and Reigns lock horns. Joe leaves up the ramp, and Seth turns into a knockout by Wyatt. Wyatt removes his jacket and is met with a Superman Punch. Wyatt falls to the outside. Seth attacks. Finn with a dropkick to both men. He heads in the ring, dodges a Superman Punch, hits a slingblade, and Roman hightails it. Balor hits the ropes and flips over the top rope onto Bray and Reigns!
We get a commercial break before heading to the backstage. Seth, Reigns, and Balor are arguing. Angle comes up and makes some matches. Seth vs Wyatt. Reigns is going to take on Balor. Angle is going to take on high blood pressure.
Match 1: Jeff Hardy vs Sheamus
Jeff attacks in the corner as soon as the bell rings. He sends him into the next corner, but Sheamus shoves him away. jeff attacks, Sheamus sends him away again. He goes for a Brogue, but Jeff ducks and rolls up for 1..2..NO!!! Jeff against the ropes. Sheamus hits the ropes and tumbles to the outside. Jeff hops over the ropes and Sheamus catches him. Sheamus sends Jeff into the barricade hard.
We are back after a break, and Sheamus has a pin for 1..2…NO! Sheamus with a chin lock. Jeff turns out and attacks the gut. Kicks and a few rights. One more. Sheamus shoves and catches Jeff on the rebound with a hard body slam. Pin for 1…2..NO! Sheamus grabs the head and eats an enziguri. jeff is up with rights and lefts. Right. Inverted atomic drop. Leg drop to Sheamus. Dropkick to the face. Cover for 1..2..NO! Sheamus stands. Kick from Jeff. He wants Twist of Fate. Sheamus escapes. Running knee to the face of Jeff Hardy! Ouch! Pin for 1..2…..NO!!! Sheamus lifts Jeff, but Jeff fights out. He runs, eats some double kicks. Sheamus rolls to the top of the ropes. He dives….right into a stunner! Jeff covers for 1…2…NO!! Cesaro hops on the apron. jeff shoves him off. Matt is there to shove Cesaro off. Sheamus shoves Jeff, Jeff nearly hits Matt. Jeff moves. BROGUE KICK, but it hits Matt!
Sheamus turns Jeff. Jeff with a Twist of Fate! Swanton Bomb! Pin for 1…2…..3!!!!!!!!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Nice little second half there.
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **3/4
Recap last week where Alicia apparently kicked out. This is a rematch because of it.
Match 2: Sasha Fox vs Alicia Fox
Sasha with the go behind. Back elbow from Alicia. They hit the ropes and Sasha tackles. A kick from Alicia, but Sasha catches the leg and hits a kick of her own, sending Alicia into the corner. Alicia comes out of the corner with a big boot. Cover for 1..2…NO! Alicia works the arm then locks in a Northern Lights. 1….2..NO! Alicia with a knee to the back. Cracvat form behind. Drop toe hold to Alicia, sending her into the bottom buckle. Sasha with a right hand. Clothesline. Another. Dropkick. Hurricanrana. Alicia in the corner. Double knees. Sasha runs into a kick though, and Alicia hits a Sunset Flip. Sasha wants a backstabber, but Alicia locks up on the ropes and sends Sasha over the top rope to the outside. Sasha landed hard on her left leg. Sasha with a surprise rollup in the ring for 1..2…NO!!
Alicia Fox. Scissors Kick to the back of Sasha! Pin for 1..2….3!!! What…the….hell?
Winner: Alicia Fox
Ok, but why…
Match Quality:**
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship Match
The Miz vs Dean Ambrose
Ambrose backs Miz in the corner and Miz calls for the ref to break it up. Miz exits but Ambrose takes him back in the ring. Whip after some chops, and Ambrose hits a crossbody. Punches to the face. Miz lifts the leg and Ambrose runs into a boot. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Ambrose escapes .Miz with a rollup for 1…2..NO! Rope work and Miz misses a clothesline. Ambrose with a swinging clothesline. Ambrose goes to the top rope, so Miz leaves to talk to Maryse.
We are back after a break. Miz is pinning Ambrose somehow. He gets a 2 count then hops right back into a cravat from behind. Ambrose backs Mi into the corner. Miz is out. Hits the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo. Pin for 1..2…NO! Ambrose on his knees. Miz hits the Daniel Bryan kicks. He misses the final kick and Ambrose rolls Miz up for 1..2..NO!!! Ambrose goes for Dirty Deeds, but miz escapes. He hits the ropes. Ambrose hods the ropes and sends Miz to the outside. SUICIDE DIVE from Ambrose! Miz misses a clothesline. Ambrose hits one of his own. Another. He hits an elbow in the corner. Running Bulldog. ROllup from Ambrose. 1..2…NO!!! Ambrose sits Miz up in the corner. Miz hits headbutts. Miz flies off, kick from Ambrose, goes for Dirty Deeds, Miz escapes, Skull Crushing, no! Rollup! pin for 1..2…NO!!! Miz misses a splash. Ambrose up in rte corner. He flies off with an elbow. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Ambrose grabs The Miz by the head. Locks it up, but Miz shoots the legs and looks for the Figure FOur. Miz with a light kick, Ambrose bounces off the ropes, SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!!! Pin for 1..2….NO!!! Miz goes for another one, Ambrose escapes. Miz misses a kick, rolljup for 1..2…NO!!! Ambrose with a Dirty De—NO! Miz escapes and heads to the outside. Ambrose up top! Maryse stands in front of The Miz! Ambrose tells her to move. Ambrose flies anyway! Maryse moves! The ref starts the ten count. Ref at 6. Ambrose sends MIz back in. He follows. Maryse distracts.
Miz goes for the low blow! Ambrose blocks!!! Ambrosewith a low blow of his own. The ref sees! Ambrose is disqualified. Woooow.
Winner via DQ: The Miz
A very nice second half there, and it looks like this was just to prolong the match.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/4
Finn talks to Charley about Roman Reigns being a big dog, but Finn has more fight in him. This may be Roman’s yard, but it’s Finn’s universe.
Alexa Bliss is hot as shit. That is all.
Ok, no, that’s not all. Bliss spends some time trying to figure out the slogan of Newark before settling on calling it the sweat glands of America. She calls the audience the poster children of failure. She says that tonight, they are going to experience a winner. The first ever superstar to win RAW and SD Women’s titles, and the one and only Goddess of the WWE, Alexa Bliss. She says when you are smarter and more dominant than everyone else, winning becomes easy. She cuts the WHAT chants off like a boss. She brings up her victories and says if she would have entered in the Miss USA pageant last night, she would have won, not Miss DC. She then says you’re welcome to Miss USA.
Bliss is cut off by the lovely Bayley!!! She says that we get it, Alexa has accomplished everything she said she was going to. She doesn’t agree with the Goddess title. Bayley says the only title she is concerned with is the one around Alexa’s waist. Bayley says at Extreme Rules, she is getting her rematch. Alexa brings up the PPV, and says that Bayley doesn’t get what this means. This means you do whatever it takes to win. Nobody will be here to save you. Bayley will never get extreme. That’s ok, though. She had her moment in the sun; it was great. It’s over now. She tells Bayley to go back to the kiddie table and leace the championships to the adults.
Bayley shoves Alexa down then hits a dropkick! She grabs Alexa on the apron, but Alexa pulls Bayley back and looks under the ring for something. Alexa grabs a kendo stick. She heads into the ring and smacks Bayley across the back hard!!! Damn, she smacked the shit outta Bayley.
Backstage, Angle is talking to Sami on the phone. Miz enters, pissed off. Calls Dean a menace. Angle says he makes a valid point and deserves a title shot. He makes the match for Extreme Rules. Miz says it’s not good enough. Miz wants a guarantee. A match where a title can change hands on a DQ. Angle says consider it done, but also consider changing his tone. Maryse speaks in angry French to Angle. Angle says to watch it, and speaks some French 101 as the Drifter drifts…Angle asks if he can help, and the guy just walks away.
Match 4: Neville and TJP vs Austin Aries and Jack Gallagher
Aries and Neville to start. Just kidding, Neville tags in perkins. Perkins in, Aries ducks a right and hits one of his own. Aries knocks Neville off the apron then sends TJ into the corner face first. Tag to Jack. Austin with a dive through the ropes to the outside as we get a commercial.
We are back and TJ has Aries down with a body slam. Tag to Neville. He heads in with some stomps to Aries. Neville sends Aries to the outside. He distracts the ref and TJ attacks Aries. He sends Aries back in the ring. Neville with a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Neville with a stomp to the head. Nevile sends Aries in the corner and tags in TJ. TJ with a boot to the corner. TJ with a snapmare. Cravat from TJ. Aries turns into it, hits some rights. TJ with a kick. He sends Aries to the outside. Aries is on the apron. Elbow to Neville. Shoulder to TJ. Boxin the ears. Aries rushes to tag. TAG TO JACK!!! Jack with an uppercut. Another. Suplex over th head. Jack with a whip. Another slam down and a pin for 1.2….NO! Jack locks the arms of TJ from behind, but TJ shoves him in the corner. Shoulder to Jack. Whip and Jack lands on the top with aheadstand. Dropkick to TJ. Neville runs in. Aries atacks. They go back and forth in the middle of the ring. TJ clips the knees. Jack with a dropkick. Dropkick to Neville. Neville flies to the outisd.e Aries flies off the top rope onto neville. Jack in the corner while TJ is laid out. Jack locks the head, but TJ gets him on the shoulders.
Jack falls down. HEADBUTT! TJ in the ocrner. Jack in the opposite corner. he is about to run, but Nevile grabs the leg. Discus five ar fom Aries to Neville. TJP with a Detonation Kick. Pin for 1…2….3!!
Winner: TJ Perkins and Neville
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **
Backstage, Bayley is getting wrapped up with an ice pack. Angle is here to tell her that those kendo sticks are no joke. She removes the ice pack and says she will be ok. Angle says come Extreme Rules, it will be a straight up wrestling match, so don’t worry. Bayley takes offense to that. She says that she wants a chance to prove her wrong. She wants her belt back, and she’s ready to get extreme. Angle wants to know if she’s sure. Angle says that Alexa will get a taste of her own medicine. She will face Alexa in a Kendo Stick on a Pole match.
Further backstage, Truth tells Goldust that he feels bad about letting them down last week. Goldust says that they are a team, and just because they failed last week – so what. Goldust has fallen a ton, and Truth has helped him back up. If they gotta dig and crawl their way back to the top, let’s start tonight. They are taking on Gallows and Anderson on tonight.
Match 5: Roman Reigns vs Finn Balor
Lockup to start and Reigns sends Balor into the corner. Ref breaks them up. Balor with the go behind. Reigns with an elbow. He tosses Balor across the ring likke nothin. Balor blocks a right and hits one of his own. Another. Another. Uppercuts to the corner. Reigns sends Balor into the corner and hits a few shoulders then tosses Balor again! Stomp to Balor. Kicks in the corner turn into stomps until the ref stops him. Reigns sends Balor against the ropes. Balor holds on. Kick to Reigns. Right hand to the gut. Elbow to the face. SAMOAN DROP by Reigns! Reigns grabs Balor on the apron. Looks to suplex Balor back into the ring. Kick from Balor. Balor with an elbow. A forearm. Kick to the face! Balor with a chop in the corner, but Roman no-sells it. Right hand to Balor. Reigns shoots for the corner, but Balor moves, and Reigns hits the post hard!!! Balor on the apron! Balor with a kick! Double stomp off the apron onto Reigns.
Back to the show, and Balor sends REigns to the outside. Reigns hops on the apron and is met with a swinging kick from Balor, sending him back down. Balor hops off the apron and Reigns catches him, then just runs with him until driving him into the ring post. Reigns grabs the head of Balor and sends him into the barricade. Finn hangs over the apron, head first. Reigns back s up. He wants Drive by. He hits it, sending Balor into the ringpost back first. Cover for 1.2…NO! Reigns with clotheslines in the corner to a chorus of boos. Reigns sends Balor to the ropes. He comes back. Reigns with a spinning powerbomb! Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Reigns calls for the Superman Punch, but Balor meets him with a kick to the ribs!! Balor hits the ropes. Reigns with a kick. He sets up for a powerbomb, but Reigns cant lift him. Balor flips Reigns down then stomps the chest! Reigns misses a clothesline. Slingblade from Balor! Balor runs from the corner…..right into a Superman Punch!! Pin for 1….2…..NO!!!! Reigns is up in the corner. He calls for the spear, but Finnn kicks up. SLINGBLADE AGAIN! Balor calls for Reigns to stand. Reigns on a knee. Running dropkick! Balor’s back hurts. He rolls to the apron.
Finn hops to the top rope. Reigns is up. He shoves Balor, and Balor tumbles down. SPEAR FROM REIGNS!!! Pin for 1.2……3!!!!
Winner: Roman Reigns
Obvious match of the night. Good shit, but not sure who it helps.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/2
The announce team is talking amongst each other until the lights go out. Bray is on the screen. He says there is an evil running around Monday Night RAW. Some call it a man, but it’s a beast. This may be Mr. Angle’s show, and may also be Roman’s yard, but this is his world and he will take the arrow of destiny and drive it into the heart of the beast. He will stand triumphant. As for tonight, Seth claims to be the man – an architect, the Kingslayer. But is he enough to slay the beast. He asks if Seth will submit to his gutless insticts and RUN.
Backstage, Seth Rollins has a retort, taking offense to being called gutless. Wyatt will not stand in his way. When Seth enters a building, he doesn’t have to announce to the world that he is here. If anyone is going to slay the beast, it’ll be the man who slayed the king.
R Truth and Goldust come out for tag team action! They do their thing. Truth asks what’s up and from out of nowhere, GOLDUST ATTACKS!!!!!! GOLDY IS TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, RON!!!! Goldust stomps Truth out in the corner. Goldust grabs Truth up then hits a right hand. He sends Truth out of the ring. Goldust follows and sends Truth into the barricade. Goldust punches Truth down some more. Goldust lifts Truth and sends him back into the ring. He attacks the back of the head! Right hand straight to the dome. Goldust with a kick to Truth one more time before grabbing a mic and saying, “That’s what’s up.”
ENZO AND CASS ARE HOME!!! They do their thing. Enzo says he is the Michael Jordan of jogging, and he was groomed right here in the state they call The Garden. Enzo says he is garden grown and born to rock the microphone.
Enzo is cut off by Titus O’Neil. great….
Apollo is with him, and is seemingly not ok with the interruption. Titus says he is Titus O’Neil, and he won the Mega Dad Award of the year, and you can’t teach that. This right here is Apollo Crews, and you can’t teach that. Titus makes fun of Jersey and says you can’t teach that. He mocks Enzo’s walk then dabs. Titus tells everyone to clap their hand for the Titus brand.
Titus and Apollo get in the ring. Titus says after Apollo beats them down tonight, he is going to teach them up. He says to come to his TED talk. Cass then says that they are doing very well, but Apollo is not facing Enzo tonight…..TITUS is facing CASS. Apollo says he tried to tell him! He does Enzo’s dance! haha.
Titus says he’s not wrestling in his outfit. Cass says he looks great, but this match is going to happen, and when this match is over, Titus will not like the way he looks…..Cass guarantees it…because there’s only one wod to describe TITUS and he’s going to spell it out!!!
SAAAAAAAWWWWWWFFFFTTTT!!!!!!
Match 6: Titus O’Neil vs Big Cass
Titus with rights. He gets Cass in the corner with some shoulders then a few right hands. Titus removes his jacket. Cass fights out of the corner, but Titus shoves some more shoulders. Titus removes his belt and looks to smack Cass with it. Enzo is on the apron. He yells at Titus to out the belt down.
Titus yells at him and turns right around into a Big Boot. Pin for 1…2….3!!
Winner: Big Cass
Titus is doing a TED Talk? Are you fucking serious?
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR
Enzo finds a cell phone. He does some scrolling then goes live on something! He’s laughing and throwing thumbs up. Apollo then kicks him in the back of the head!!!! Oh shit!
Match 7: Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt
Lockup and Seth gets a side headlock in. Bray with a heabutt, sending Seth down hard. Seth is back up. Another side headlock. Wyatt shoves, Seth holds on, snapmare, kick to the back, followed by another to the front. Seth with chops in the corner. Whip to Seth. Wyatt misses a clothesline, then misses a crossbofy, and flies to the outside. Seth launches his body over the top rope on top of Wyatt on the outside! He sends Wyatt into the apron, then into the barricade! Seth pushes Wyatt down then hops on the barricade. He flies off, and runs into Bray who hits a Uranage Suplex onto the barricade!
Back after a break, and Bray is getting a pin for 1..2..NO! Wyatt with a right hand to the back of Seth’s head. Right to the face. He sets Seth up in the corner. Wyatt up high. Right hand to Seth. Another. Seth fires back. Wyatt with a headbutt. SUPERPLEX by Wyatt! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Right hand to the kidney. Wyatt drives the knee into the back of Seth. Seth turns on his belly. Wyatt sits on his back and pulls back on the neck. Wyatt looks for another Uranage, but Seth blocks. He sends Wyatt to the apron. Seth looks to dive, but Wyatt stops it with a right hand! Kick to Wyatt from Seth. Seth on the 2nd rope. Blockbuster to Wyatt! Seth with a right hand. Another. Over and over. Kick. Ducks a clothesline. Slingblade. Seth rushes the corner with an elbow. He then sends bray into the 2nd turnbuckle. Seth tries to grab from behind, but Wyatt hits an elbow. Seth sends Wyatt to the outside. Seth hits the ropes. Dropkick through the ropes. SUICIDE DIVE! Seth rolls Wyatt in the ring. Seth with a springboard clothesline and a pin for 1….2….NO!!! Seth locks the head. He wants a suplex. He tries, but Wyatt blocks. Wyatt goes for his own, but Seth escapes. Wyatt wants Sister Abigail, but Seth escapes. Enziguri. Wyatt staggers. Turns. CLOTHESLINE! Wyatt damn near killed Seth. Seth on his knees. He strikes up. Rights and lefts over and over. Bray with a Uranage though! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Wyatt sets up for Sister Abigail but Seth shoulders out. Pin for 2. Sitout powerbomb by Seth! Pin for 1..2..NO! Seth on the top rope now, but Wyatt rolls out of the ring. Seth turns and jumps off anyway!
Seth grabs Wyatt up off the floor, but SAMOA JOE attacks!!! This is enough for the DQ
Winner: Seth Rollins via DQ
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***
Samoa Joe takes Seth into the ring then hits a headrocker. Joe sees Bray, who has just entered the ring, and stares him down. Bray gets in his face as Seth is laid out. They then double team and attack Seth Rollins. Joe is about to attack once again, but Wyatt hits him with Sister Abigail! Wyatt then stares down Seth. He grabs Seth, lifts him up, SISTER ABIGAIL to ROLLINS!
End Show
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