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411’s WWE RAW Report 7.18.16

July 18, 2016 | Posted by Tony Acero
Seth Rollins

Hello one and all! It is I, Tony Acero – Published Author and International Sex Symbol! Welcome to 411’s WWE RAW Report!

Welcome to……MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT!!! The stage has a new look, and it’s very RAW-Centric!

Lillian welcomes the NEW Commish of Monday Night RAW! While she makes her way out, Cole and Co go over the Draft Rules that have been floating around online.

Steph welcomes us to RAW, but is cut off by Shane-o-Mac! Steph says she’s really not going to miss Shane’s pandering. Shane welcomes everyone to RAW. He had to do that one last time, sorry. Steph says it’s ok, because this will be his last night on RAW. Steph says that she will NOT miss working with Shane.

Shane says the feeling is mutual, and every morning she wakes up and wishes she was born with testicles, but since she was not – Shane wants her to know that if she were his brother, there would be some reciprocation from last week for sure.

Steph says lady balls are bigger than men, and there’s nothing Shane can do about last week, but Shane says tomorrow, when Steph wakes up and the Draft is all over—

Steph cuts him off again, and says this is about how RAW and Smackdown Live are both going to succeed. Steph brings up the CWC, and Steph says they’ll be launching a Cruiserweight division, and it will be exclusive to RAW. It’s only fair, RAW is three hours long, giving them the clear advantage.

Shane mentions Smackdown Live, they’ve been getting ready.

YES! YES! YES! Chant!!!

Steph says she might as well introduce her choice…

THE NEW GM OF RAW IS……..

Mick Foley!

Well, well, well….

Mick comes out. Thanks for the response, and gets himself a little cheap pop. This is a huge opportunity, because being part of the new Era reminds him of the Attitude era. This also reminds him of the Monday Night Wars. Entertaining in the name of competition and survival.

Steph whispers something in Mick’s ear. He says as a veteran of the Wars who took more than his fair share of wish, Foley took the bait of the job and he is on fire. Foley was one of the guys that put the nail in the final coffin of WCW. It wasn’t pleasant but had to be done, and he’ll bring the same ruthlessness to RAW. He’s looking and willing to take RAW to the future and beyond. HAVE A NICE DAY!

Shane congrats Mick on the job, and tells Steph that he’s gotta give her kudos for naming Foley. That’s something everyone can get behind, including Shane. Shane is actually intrigued, rather than worried about Steph burying RAW into the ground.

This now brings him to his General Manager. Shane needed someone to embody what Smackdown Live is all about; breaking glass ceilings, giving someone an opportunity to shine that you guys never did. Who could that possibly be….who could top MICK FOLEY?

THE NEW GM OF SMACKDOWN IS…….

Daniel F’n Bryan!

Daniel Yeses his pretty little heart down the ramp!

Stephanie tries to shake his hand, but he gives her the ol HELLS NAH BRAH.

HUGE Daniel Bryan Chant!!

Bryan asks if we missed him. YEs, duh! Bryan says that he missed us way more than we missed him. He says Steph doesn’t understand the word “pandering,” because no one has ever cheered for her. haha

Bryan says there was a time when he thought he couldn’t possibly come back because he loved wrestling too much, but Shane called him and talked about making Smackdown Live something awesome. Shane told him about the battle lines being drawn, and how there was goin to be a huge fight, and Smackdown was the underdog. Bryan thought, he can come back. He also NEEDS to come back, because Smackdown is the underdog, just like he was.

THANK YOU DANIEL!

Bryan says that he didn’t do this on his own. When he beat Stephanie’s husband, he didn’t do it on his own. “WE” did that. When he went on to win the championship, he didn’t do that, “WE” did that. And if we all do it together, Smackdown Live will beat RAW every single week, because WE have beaten The Authority before, and WE will do it again.

Steph asks where the underdogs always wind up? These losers know this all of their life. This is why they chant and cheer, because on one night, the underdog was able to make them feel like winners. Congrats Daniel, a B+ player for a B+ Show.

Stephanie wonders if Shane is nervous, because he’s sweating an awful lot. *Eye Roll*

Shane says two things will remain the same; 1) You will always be my little sister and 2) You had to marry a WWE Superstar to stay relevant.

Shane asks the Universe if they can make Smackdown an international juggernaut, is there one possible word?

Bryan leads us all in a YES Chant! Yours, truly, included.

Have a Sasha!


Match 1: Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho vs Sami Zayn and Cesaro

Jericho and Cesaro to start. Cesaro with the go behind, he takes Jericho down, grapples a bit, mocks Jericho, then gutwrenches jericho up and suplexes him back down. Cover for 1. Jericho up with some chops! Uppercut from Cesaro. Another. Cesaro works the left arm then tags in Sami. Sami with a chop. Jericho returns the favor. Sami shoves Jericho, Jericho with a shoulder tackle. Jericho leap frogs, Sami with an arm drag. Another. A third, fancier one into an arm bar. Jericho whips, Sami with a springboard leap frog, he holds the ropes, and Jericho flies over. Sami looks to hit the ropes, but Owens stands in the way. Sami goes for a right, Owens drops to the mat and mocks him. Jericho attacks from behind, and tags in Owens. Owens with the stomps. Neckbreaker ONTO the knee! Kick by Owens to the back!

We’re back after a break, and Jericho is kicking Sami in the chest. He points to the sky for some cheers, but gets none. Jericho with a right chop to Sami against the ropes. He chokes Sami up on the ropes, with the knee to the back. Owens with acheap shot while Jericho distracts. Jericho with a right, Sami hits one, too. Jericho gets the upperhand, backing Sami into the ropes. Sami goes for the legs and plants to prevent the tag to Cesaro. jericho tosses Zayn outside. Jericho distracts the ref, and Owens tries to attack. Sami sends him into the barricade, though! Jericho rushes to the outside, and gets clotheslined for his trouble! Sami enters the ring and crawls for a tag. He nearly gets there, but Jericho slithers into the ring. He’s too late, because Cesaro gets the tag! He uppercuts Jericho about 1,669.3 times. Whip to the corner, and a running uppercut. Another. Owens in, eats a dropkick, and Cesaro notices that both men are up in the corner! Uppercuts galore! Cover to Jericho! Cesaro looks for the swing, but Jericho turns it into a rollup and pins for 1..2..NO! Springboard corkscrew uppercut from Cesaro. Cover! 1…2..NO! Cesaro goes for The Nuetralizer, but Jericho escapes. ENZIGURI!

Both men down!

Tag to Owens. Tag to Sami! They meet mid-ring! Back and forth battle! Owens with the upperhand getting a running knee. Huge clothesline in the corner. Owens shoves Sami, goes for the Pop Up, but Sami hits a dropkick OFF of Owens! Tag by Jericho. Sami runs and gets hit by Jericho to stop the Helluiva kick. Sami with a tag to Cesaro. CROSSBODY TO JERICHO! Pin for 1..2..NO!! Cesaro hooks the legs, backslide by Jericho, turned into a leg hook! WALLS ATTEMPT, but it’s thwarted, Cesaro rolls up, locks the legs, SWING TIME!!! Owens runs into the ring and stops the swing by running INTO Jericho. hahaha.

Tag to Sami, Sami in with a Tornado DDT to Owens.Jericho rolls up from behind for 1..2…NO! Reversal. Sami with a rollup! 1…..2….3!!!!!

Winners: Sami Zayn and Cesaro
Always a good time when three of the four are in the ring.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***1/2

Backstage, The Golden Truth are trying to show Daniel Bryan how to Dab. They are petitioning to join Smackdown. Bryan runs into Swagger and Titus who kiss his ass a bit. Bryan walks a bit more, and Steph is here to make fun of Bryan for planting peaches. Bryan says yeah, he is back…with a Vengeance. Like The New Ghostbusters. Speakin of being back, Steph feels like he’s the little doll from Chucky, and he’s got only one saying after pulling a string.

Bryan will take Chucky over Goat Face. Bryan says he’s glad she took his time away to make new insults, but also ruining Monday Night RAW.

The Miz is on commentary with Maryse and Backlund’s book.


Match 2: Alberto Del Rio vs Darren Young

Young goes for the legs. Del Rio locks the arm and shoves Young into the corner. Whip to Young shoulder first into the post. Del Rio attacks the arm again. Covdr for 1. Del Rio locks the lef arm and pulls back. Young with a right elbow to Del Rio, breaking the hold. Del Rio with a clothesline. Cover for 1…NO! Del Rio sets Young up in the corner. Del Rio misses an Enziguri. Young blocks a right, and Young attacks with a right and a left. Whip and a clothesline. Another. Young with a belly to belly. Del Rio misses a clothesline, and Young hits an Atomic Drop. HARD right hook to Del Rio. The Miz gets on the apron to distract, and Young hits him with a right hand! Del Rio takes advantage, rolls up. The ref is too busy arguing with the ref, though.

Del Rio rushes forward to grab the ref and Young gets the cheap rollup with a bridge for a pin. 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Darren Young
Cheap Win Young at it again!
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Backstage, Shane and Bryan are talking to The Big Show about beards, beer, and babes.

Speaking of beer, Mr. Don’t Call Me PBR Cena is here.

Before John Cena pisses me off, here’s another Sasha.

Cena says he’s with the crowd that is booing him by saying he is fired up as well. Cena brings up the draft. But wait, there’s more. This Sunday, on the Network, we’ve got Battleground. This Sunday, The Club, they’re going to try to beat up John Cena. Cena drops from Sales Pitch Cena to Denzel Cena to drop this doozy: “They can’t see me, because I got the Certified Gs”

Insert Enzo. haha, that’s funny.

Here comes the Certified Gs! AND YOU CANT TEACH THAT! BADDABOOM, REALEST GUYS IN THE ROOM! I love Enzo so much.

Enzo’s got somethin to say: The term “do not take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate. So with that being said, The Club….don’t take this the wrong way….

Enzo says he always judges a book by its cover, because he ain’t stupid enough to read that book. Besides, without ugly in the world, there’d be no beauty – so Luke Gallows, thanks for your sacrifice. Gallows, the only time women open their mouth for him is when they yawn. Speakin of women, Styles got a haircut like a soccer mom, howyadoin. And Anderson? He is like Times New Roman font; as generic as they come. He hates to be the one to pull the nipple out the baby’s mouth here but the only time they’re beating Enzo, Cass and Cena is on the 35th of Neveruary. If they want sympathy grab a dictionary and look between “spit” and “syphallus.”

Cena mentions that Enzo is just spittin out punchlines. Cass says that’s what Enzo does. hahahaha.

Enzo takes a victory lap.

Cass says they’re like the best trio that there ever was. The 3 Muskateers (HOWYADOIN), NIrvana(HOWYADOIN), Destiny’s Child(HOWYADOIN), RUN DMC(HOWYADOIN), Wu-Tang Clan(HOWYADOIN).

Cena says Wu-Tang has like 20 members, he has no idea what’s going on. hahahaha.

Cena says they’ve gotta get serious. Cass says that they like to come out here and have fun with the crowd, but when push comes to shove, they get serious, and that’s what they’re going to do this Sunday. As for The Club, there’s only ONE word to describe them, and Cass is gonna spell it out for them……

The Club doesn’t wanna hear it anymore. They’re here….

Styles talks directly to Cena. Really? He’s gonna tag with THEM?? Cena looks like a turd in a punch bowl. hahaha. WTF? Styles wants to give them a taste of what he can expect at Battleground. Anderson wonders if they honestly think there is chemistry there. The Club = chemistry. He and his hot asian wife = Chemistry. When did these three even meet? A couple of weeks ago over a bowl of candy in catering?

Gallows says The Club has spilled blood and sold out arenas all over the world since day 1. Styles calls them a cohesive unit, a team, unlike these three scabs. Tonight, The Club has some #SQUADGOALS. Tonight, not only do they get to beat up John Cena, we also get to BEAT UP ENZO and BEAT UP CASS! They also get to BEAT UP ALL THREE MEMBERS OF THE NEW DAY!!!

Speaking of THE NEW DAY…….

Gotta love how Cole is talking about New Day never being the same after the swamp battle and Big E twerking during.

Kofi says this is typical The Club, speaking of things they like to beat.

“Speaking of Jerks!”

haha.

Styles makes fun of Woods, saying Wyatt is right behind him. Woods corrects Styles’ improper word usage and makes the argument that they are not normal men, and were able to survive the Battle at Swampsburg, and that’s why this Sunday, they’re going to show The Wyatt’s why they’re the champs.

Kofi asks Cena how he doesn’t understand HOWYADOIN. Cena says he doesn’t get it. Woods wants to show an example.

Woods is a Level 21 Pokemon Go trainer (TEAM VALOR FOR LIFE – gets a HUGE CHEER!) and he begins to list a bunch of Pokemon.

Cena cuts them off and says to STOP because….

NEW DAY TAKES OVER:

NEW DAY ROCKS! NEW DAY ROCKS!

They are cut off by the party poopers The Wyatt Family.

In case you’re wondering:


Match 3: The Wyatt Family and The Club vs The New Day, Enzo and Cass, and John Cena

We come back with the match already in progress. Rowan and Cena are in the middle of the ring. Cena hits a shoulder tackle. Gallows tags himself in, upsetting Rowan. Gallows looks like he suntanned with a condom on his head. Gallows misses a right, Cena goes for a shoulder tackle, but Gallows stands tall and Cena falls on his ass. Tag to Big E. Big E in, gyrates the hips, then uses the Power of Penis Positivity to hit a belly to belly to Gallows. Gallows tags in Braun Strowman. Big E ducks a clothesline, another, but not a third, and Big E is trucked down. Big E turns to the corner and tags in…..ENZO!!! hahaha..

Enzo runs in, circles Braun, hits the corner. Woods plays Francesca for motivation. Enzo runs right into the wall known as Braun. Cass tags himself in, and we get a standoff in the middle of the ring. HOWYOUDOIN chant! The big guys circle the ring. Braun opts to cheap shot Cena instead. Cena runs in, and we get a HUGE melee!!! EVERYONE IS IN THE RING! Wyatt and Cena head to the outside. Braun and Big E tangle Cass sends Gallows out. Braun sends Big E out. Back to one-on-one. Hard rights bty Cass. Big Boot! Straun still up! Blind tag from Kofi. Kofi flies off, misses a DDT, caught by Strowman. Hard running powerslam from Braun.

We’re back, and Wyatt is in with Kofi. He hits a front slam onto his knee. Cover for 1..2..NO! Kofi with a kick out of the corner. Kofi rollss to the center of the ring while everyone calls for a tag. Tag to Cena. Cena ducks, hits a shoulder tackle. Another. Protobomb. Cena with the hand up. You cannot visually comprehend him….but Wyatt with his Spiderwalk, freaks Cena out and stops him. Tag to braun, and he hits a huge headbutt. Tag to Rowan, and Rowan with a kick. Middle of the ring. Right hand and a cover for 1..2…NO! Rowan with a chokehold from behind. Cena tries to break the head crusher and does, but Rowan hits a dropkick. Yes, Rowan hits a dropkick. Stomp to the chest, and a tag to Styles. Styles in with a brutal attack. He gets in the face of Bray, though, and they have words. Cena rushes for a tag, but Styles grabs him, fireman’s. Styles flips Cena and drops his head on the back of the neck. That was fucking beautiful. Pin for 1..2..NO! Tag to Gallows. He’s in to #BEATUPJOHNCENA. Anderson with a heel kick. Cover for 1..2….NO! Tag to Gallows, who enters with abunch of elbow drops. Gallows shit-talks. Cena stands slowly. Gallows with a right hand to the chin. He goes for a splash, but Cena rolls out of the way.

Wyatt and Cena are in the ring after the break. We get the hot tag immediately after. Big Cass and AJ Styles are in. Cass goe sbuck wild, but get kicked by AJ. Aj hits the ropes, is caught, dropped. Empire Elbow! Cass in the corner. He runs with a splash, FALLAWAY attempt! But Strowman is in. He attacks from behind, pushes Woods out of the ring. Trouble in Paradise to Braun! Big E sends Braun outside. Rowan is in, sends Big E out. Kofi sends Rowan out. Kofi goes for SOS, to Wyatt but Wyatt hits Rock Bottom hard! MISSILE DROPKICK from WOODS!!! He hits the ropes, SUICIDE PLANCHA OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE WYATTS!!!

In the ring, Cass stands, and Styles goes for the forearm! BIG BOOT!!! Going for Badaboom shackalacka, but Gallows is in eith the Big Boot! Cena in with the AA to Gallows! Spinebuster by Anderson! Enzo off the top rope, knocking Anderson to the outside!!!! Outside, Kofi attacks Braun with a lying clothesline. Woods and Big E help out. We get Wyatt and Kofi attacking each other up the ramp.

Winners: The Club and The Wyatt Family
Well I had fun, even with some minor communication issues…Kofi
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: *****
Total Rating: ****

We get a promo of Seth walking around an empty arena. Matt Hardy looms in the background.

Seth says that Ambrose and Reigns were just pawns in his game. They were sacrifices that were waiting to be made to achieve his goal to get the title. He’s always two steps ahead. he adapts. He kept Ambrose around to get beat, and Reigns around to give out beatings. He talks about his knee caving under the pressure of carrying the company on his back. While he was gone, Reigns rose as the top dog. But how will the WWE Universe accept him. Has he lost his edge? Rollins says Reigns will never be the same. As for Ambrose…Ambrose is a thief, a coward. While recovering, he worked harder than any human on planet earth and won his title back. Ambrose had the nerve to steal the title. Ambrose stole a piece of his life. Seth says it’s fitting that tonight he gets to put an end to Ambrose’s fairytale run as champ, and when he has tumbled and fallen as low as he can go, Seth will reach down, pick up his title, put it on his shoulder, and walk into Battleground to prove to everyone that as far as The Shield is concerned, Seth was always the man.

I suppose I should comment on that promo. It was pretty cool, all things considered. It was a mockery of The Shield entrance without The Shield, proving that Seth has always been the one to do this and it’s his. Pretty poetic.

Backstage, Shane wants to talk to the RAW GM, who is currently talking to Fabreeze.

Shane wants to know why Mick would even work with his sister, in fact he gives it six months max. Anyways, word spreading is that Steph hired Foley for two reasons 1) how he identifies with the crowd and 2) She can control and manipulate Mick easily. Mick says he knows what he’s doing. Steph is ruthless, yes, but he sees passion and drive in Steph, and he sees the opportunity to better himself. So excuse him, but he’s got talent to scout.

Shane says one last thing: Have a nice day.

We come back after a break to a match I don’t care about, but I’ve got a job to do.


Match 4: Baron Corbin vs Sin Cara

I’ll start with the suicide dive into Corbin on the outside. Sin sends Corbin into the ring, hops up top, misses but lands on his feet.

Winner: Baron Corbin

Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Corbin attacks after the bell, but Kalisto comes out to help his buddy. They’re not a team anymore, but they’re still friends.

Kalisto is dumb enough to turn his back on Corbin, so Corbin pulls him out of the ring and drops his ass

They added 30 more minutes to Batman vs Superman? That movie was like half a day long…

HAD A DREAM I…..HADNT MADE IT!

Sasha is going to have a mystery partner at Battleground against Dana and Charlotte.

It’s gonna be me…

I just wanna kiss the tip of her nose.


Match 5: Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs Charlotte and Dana Brooke

Charlotte and Sasha to start. But wait….Charlotte is a heel. Tag to Dana. Dana rushes forward, Sasha ducks, goes to attack Charlotte, hits Dana with an elbow. Sasha sends Dana into the corner, tags Becky, and we get a double arm drag. Becky hits a single one, another. Becky with a noogie to Dana. Becky with a kip up after an attack. She drops an elbow. Another. A leg drop. Cover for 1..2..NO! Becky hooks the head. She backs up, works the arm, tags to Sasha. Sasha whips, bounces over the ropes. Right hand. She blocks a kick by Charlotte, and Banks drops Sasha off the apron. On the other side, Nattie is here and she pulls Becky off the apron.

Nattie sends Becky into the barricade. DQ ending.

Winners: Charlotte and Dana Brooke

Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating:

Sasha tries to save, but Charlotte attacks! Charlotte and Nattie lock eyes, then go on about their business. Charlotte rolls Banks in the ring. Dana attacks. Charlotte waits for Dana. Big Boot to Banks. Natural Selection to Sasha Banks.

Backstage, Bryan is chatting it up with “DEMON KANE,” which Cole says like 40 times.

Ambrose is back to his Joker-esque promos. He’s holding the camera and reminds us how he and The Shield changed the course of history, just like he did when he won the title. Will he retain tonight? Will he retain on Sunday? This Sunday, Reigns returns, and Ambrose expects a raging animal, and Rollins to be a crafty son of a gun, but both of them can expect that after both nights, he’ll still be WWE Champion. WHY SO SERIOUS?!


Match 6: Rusev and Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder

Sheamus and Zack Ryder’s Just for Men beard to start. Shemaus overpowers him and Sheamus tags his chin with a right. Uppercut. Another. Sheamus with a body slam attempt, but Ryder floats off and shoves Sheamus into the corner. He beats down Sheamus with elbows, then calls for the Broski kick, only to attack Rusev who entered the ring. Sheamus attacks, and they double team Ryder, sending him to the outside. Rusev sends Ryder into the barricade. Sheamus leaves the ring, puts Ryder on his shoulders, and hits a rolling senton on the outside of the ring. Sheamus sends Ryder into the ring and kicks him in the gut. Sheamus suplexes Ryder with ease. Shemaus with the side headlock on the mat. Ryder turns, attacks the midsection, Sheamus goes for a suplex, but Ryder lands on his feet. Neckbreaker to Sheamus. Rusev screams for a tag and it’s great. Tag to Rusev. Tag to Ziggler. Ziggler with a right, a splash in the corner. Rusev pushes, Dolph slides under. FAMEASSER! Pin for 1…2..NO! Sheamus breaks it up. Ryder clotheslines Sheamus to the outside. Dolph rolls Rusev up for 1..2..NO! Rusev stands, Dolph flies, and Rusev drops him on the ropes chest first.

Superkick to the lower head. The Accolade is locked in. Ziggler taps!
Winners: Sheamus and Rusev
Progressing a storyline. Goody.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: *1/2

Backstage, some guys are talking to Mick Foley. I think at one point, I knew who they were, but they no longer matter.

Bryan walks up to Foley. He tells him that he wants them to have a good, healthy working relationship. Foley says that he was totally fine when Bryan had a greater response than he did. Bryan says ok, he hopes Foley isn’t upset if Smackdown beats RAW in the rating. Foley does some passive aggressive jousting with Bryan. Bryan shares the similarities they have, saying it’s almost looking in the mirror – if Bryan was looking in a funhouse mirror. Foley says he saw himself when he was watching Bryan on tv, only through the wrong end of a periscope. They are the same, and what they both possessed was the ability to overcome, outfight, outperform, and outlast, and take over anyone who stood in their way and right now….Bryan is standing in Foley’s way. Bryan says Foley is standing in his way. Bryan says they’ve never fought before, but they are now. Foley says may the best brand win. Let the games begin.

As we return to the show, we see Shane and Bryan sitting together by the ring. Closer to the announce table, Steph and Foley are seated together.


MAIN EVENT: WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins

Lockup to start. Rollins with the go behind. He locks the arm behind him. Pick the leg, slides over and locks the leg. Ambrose does that, by the way. Snapmare takedown. Pin for 1. Seth isn’t happy. He walks over to the apron while Dean gloats. Test of strength. Ambrose rolls out of a finger clinch into a back hammer lock and a headlock takedown. Seth stands up and breaks the hold, then locks his own. Seth with a shoulder tackle. Ambrose with an arm drag. Again. Rollins rolls out of the ring yet again. Rollins back in. Tries to take advantage, but Ambrose hits a splash in the middle of the ring. Ambrose up with aknee. Whip to the ropes is reversed, and Ambrose ducks down .Seth with a kick. Clothesline miss by Seth, and Ambrose sends him over the ropes to the outside. Ambrose follwos and sends Seth into the barricade hard. Seth sends Ambrose in the ring, but Ambrose rebounds and hits a clothesline. Ambrose on the apron and flies off with a clothesline.

We’re back after a break, and Rollins has the upperhand. He’s beating down Ambrose in the corner. He sends Ambrose into the corner hard. Rollins with a scissors/sleeper combo. Ambrose escapes, runs to the corner. Rollins tosses him face first into the turnbuckle. Seth with a pin. 1..2….NO! Seth tosses Ambrose into the bottom rope and attacks the back of the head. he hops to the outside and hits Ambrose with a hard right. Seth heads back in the ring. ROLLUP! 1…2…NO! Seth escapes. Rollins with another cover! 1…2..NO! Rollins with a chinlock. double crossbody knocks both men down. They’re up at three. Ambrose with a clothesline then a Fisherman’s. Pin for 1…2..NO! Ambrose grabs Seth, chops against the ropes. Ambrose hits the ropes. Roll through. Pin for 1..2…NO! Reversal. Another! One more! Seth misses a kick! Neckbreaker from Dean! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Nice sequence. Ambrose hits the corner, comes out, Seth with a kick! Goes for The Pedigree! Ambrose escapes, gets setn to the outside! Seth goes for the dive, but Ambrose hits him with a forearm! Ambrose back in the ring and knocks Seth over the top rope to the outside. Ambrose hits the ropes. Suicide dive! Ambrose gets whipped, rebounds, but Seth is able to counter and sends Ambrose into the barricade, powerbomb style. Seth sends Ambrose back in the ring. Seth gets to the top rope! FROGSPLASH! Pin for 1….2….NO!!!

We’re back after another break, and Seth has Ambrose set up for the powerbomb in the corner. Ambrose counters and Frankensteiners Seth. Steph stands up and yells at the ref to check on Seth. Both men are up and back up into each other. Ambrose tries for Dirty Deeds. Seth counters. Tries for Pedigree. Ambrose goes to slingshot Seth into the corner, but Seth lands on his feet on the apron Springboard knee, and it hits Dean across the cheek! Seth goes to the top rope! FROG SPLASH, but he misses! Seth just faceplants like a boss! Ambrose goes to lift Seth, but Seth backs him up in the corner. Forearm to the face. Another in the corner. Ambrose follows and hits a forearm of his own, hits the ropes. Kick from Seth. Seth with a bunch of kicks to the head, goes for a final one, but Ambrose stands and hits the chops/rights mix. Seth is able to bounce Ambrose off the turnbuckle with a powerbomb, but Ambrose grabs the head of Seth and hits a DDT! Cover for 1…2….NO! Ambrose gets his foot on the rope!!!! Replay of the powerbomb and it’s Dirty Deeds that Ambrose hit off the rebound! Siiiick. Seth rolls to the outside of the ring. Ambrose reaches over the botom rope to see where Seth is. Ambrose slips to the outside. Ambrose tells FOley and Steph that they’re about to find out why he’s the champ. Ambrose goes straight for the SAT. He sets Seth up on it, hits a few rights. Ambrose hops on the barricade. Seth is up! He rolls back into the ring! Ambrose rushes to the ring as well, grabs Seth’s head. Seth and Ambrose on the apron. Seth goes for a Pedigree ON THE APRON! Ambrose escapes, hits a headbutt, another. HARD clothesline sends Seth back into the ring. Ambrose goes to the top rope. Elbow Dro—-NO!!! PEDIGREE!!! 1………2……..NO!!!! AMBROSE KICKS OUT!!!

HOLY SHIT chant lasts about 2 seconds. Thanks.

Seth lifts Dean, looking for another Pedigree. Ambrose hooks the leg. Jacknife cover. Pin for 1..2…NO! Ambrose bounces of the ropes. Clothesline! Ambrose goes to the top rope. Seth hops to the 2nd rope. They lokc up. Dean shoves him off.

REF BUMP!

Seth ruins up, grabs the head of Dean. SUPERPLEX to Dean! BUT DEAN HOOKS THE LEGS! Both men’s shoulders are down. PIn for 1….2……3!!!

The bell rings, but no winner is announced. Seth celebrates. Dean looks confused. Hodor Hodors.

The ref is still trying to recover in the corner. Steph and Shane enter the ring. Steph hugs Seth Rollins. Shane tells her to calm her tits. Bryan and Foley enter the ring. Steph heads to the outside to grab the title and announce Seth as the winner and NEW WWE Champion!

Alleged Winner: Seth Rollins
I enjoyed this….up until the end
Match Quality: ****
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/2
Total Rating: ***3/4

Steph and Seth hug on the outside of the ring near the ramp. Shane goes to talk to Steph, saying this is wrong. Ambrose is pissed. RAW ends as if we’re playing WWE 2k16.

End Show.

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411's WWE RAW Report, Tony Acero