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411’s WWE RAW Report 7.29.13

July 29, 2013 | Posted by Tony Acero

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: The Shield’s Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Curtis Axel
Unified Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Shield’s Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns

Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 7.29.13

What rhymes with hug me?! Ey, yo! It’s the only RAW Report worth reading, amirite? Summerslam is pokin it’s head out, waitin for us to come hug it, and I’m sure tonight will be full of bad-assery and minimal sucktitude….right? Anywhoo, let’s get to it!


The super sultry voice of “Voice-over Guy” reminds us of last week, and what is to come tonight. Shortly thereafter, “NO CHANCE” hits and we got the Swagger-jackin, Vince McMahon, followed by Brad Maddox coming down to the ring.

Vinnie Mac says we’re gonna have ourselves some fun tonight, then hands the mic to Maddox. Boos are afoot! Maddox publicly apologizes for being so foolish as to let Cena choose his opponent. McMahon brings up Bryan being called a troll. He goes all urban dictionary on us and defines the word. He brings up Bryan’s psychological problems, and the lack of “aura” of being a WWE Champion. Didn’t you say that, Maddox? Vince wants to know how Maddox really feels. I should mention Vince’s dye job. It’s….somethin.

Speakin of Bryan, here he is! Bryan shakes Vince’s hand, and the crowd chants the name of the troll. Vince wants to bring up that Bryan is here disrespekkin McMahon. Bryan says that respect is a two-way street. Despite Bryan givin it all for McMahon’s company, Vinnie has yet to give Bryan an ounce of respect. #troof

Vince wants to know if Bryan respects John Cena. Yes Chants. Vince asks them to be quiet, please. Bryan says he respects Cena as a human being, a champion, and that Cena chose him as his opponent for Summerslam. Vince wants to know if Bryan would respect Cena if he was lying through his teeth. McMahon calls Cena a master manipulator, he didn’t mean anything he said. McMahon says that Cena is making Bryan look like a fool. Cena knows what Vince knows, and that’s the fact that Bryan can’t beat Cena, nor will he beat Kane tonight, because he doesn’t have that intangible quality. He doesn’t have Ruthless Aggression. Cena doesn’t anymore. But can Bryan beat him? nah. Then again, Vince doesn’t want Cena to win, either. Cena walks round like he owns the place. But Vince owns this place. He calls Bryan a half-pint troll that would be the most embarrassing champ EVAR. The only way he sees anyone winning this is him.

What’s going to happen at Summerslam is Bryan is in the ring, Cena is in the ring. Lockup, then BAM! Spontaneous combustion. Cena and Bryan get Wonkavisioned and little particles burst into the air…

Bryan says if Cena is lying, he’ll have hell to pay. Bryan tiptoes to get on Vince’s level. He says Vince is always honest, but in his own words…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, it matters what THEY think. And they think he’s the tits, yo. They want a new champ, and that new champ is bryan. We get some Yes Chants as Bryan walks up the ramp, then we quickly fade into the music of The Shield.

This results to nothing but a commercial break.

-Commercial Break-

Match 1: The Shield vs Mark Henry and The Usos

We’re starting with Henry and Ambrose. Lockup is short lived as Henry sends Ambrose to the floor with force. In the corner, Henry gives a headbutt then some rights. A quick tag to Rollins sends him in, and he goes behind Henry like a fool. Booty bump from Henry sends Rollins to the floor, then Henry tosses Rollins clear across the ring. Tag to Reigns, and big boy comes in. They try to do the epic staredown, and Henry raises his hand, asking for the test of strength. It’s a ruse, though, cuz Henry goes low with a kick. Henry tosses Reign the same way he tossed Rollins. Henry sends Reigns into the corner then beats on him a bit as The Usos ask for a tag.

Jey is in and stomps Reigns in the corner a bit. Jey with a tag to Jimmy. A few double stomps followed by an elbow and a cover for 1…NO! Front faced headlock but Reigns backs Jimmy into the corner and Rollins gets the blind tag. Rollins with some right hands in the corner. I miss some shit, and come back to a tag to Henry. Henry is in with Ambrose and misses an elbow. Ambrose with some kicks, and tries to get in a flurry of knees. Tag to Rollins, and we get a double Russian leg sweep, but Henry evades that and tosses both fools to the ground! Double clothesline sends Rollins and Ambrose to the outside! Reigns runs in thinkin he a big dawg, but Henry sends him to the outside! The Usos are in! Double suicide dive to the outside!!!

We’re back, and The Shield took control while we were gallivanting in the comment section. Reigns is in the ring with Jey, pullin back the arm like he’s owed money. Reigns with a boot, then takes Jey back to his corner. Tag to Ambrose. Ambrose with a right, but Jey with a hard right, and another. Jey gets tossed in the corner, and Ambrose hits him with a shoulder. Ambrose with an arm drag into a chicken wang. Uso with a nice lil chin check, usin his head as a Samoan should. Ambrose goes for a running shoulder, but Jey moves, and Ambrose hits metal! He is able to tag Rollins in before Jey tags Jimmy. Rollins sends Jimmy off the apron, but opts not to do so to Henry. Tag to Henry, he gets pushed into the corner by Rollins, and sends Reigns off the apron. Ambrose runs in and is met with a body slam. Henry goes to handle Rollins as the ref checks on Ambrose. Reigns is in. SPEAR!!!

Rollins tags Ambrose. Jimmy gets a blind tag on Henry. He hits a cross body! Pin for 1…2..NO!! So close! Samoan Drop to the Rollins! haha, I just typed “the Rollins.”

Jimmy goes for another crossbody, but Ambrose puts the knees up! Ambrose with his finisher (is there a name for that, yet) and pins for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: The Shield
This match was more fun than I thought it was going to be. Solid shit.
RATING: ***

After the match, Henry goes all crazy and tries to attack The Shield. They regroup outside and make their way out

We go ringside where King dispels the rumors that Ryback is a nice guy, saying he’s goin all around throwin his weight around, and we get an “Earlier Today” moment with Ryback in the back bullying someone trying to get his croissant on. Ryback slaps the guy, asking if he’s hungry, then smears his face with tuna. O’Doyle Rules, I guess….

Just as Ryback is about to walk away, he turns, grabs the dude, and slams him into the catering table. haha. Sucks.

-Commercial Break-

Upon our return, we get a Wyatt video package.

Backstage, Maddox is playing Candy Crush. Kane walks in and wants the Wyatts. Maddox says they’re not here. Maddox says if Kane wants to send a message to them, then handle Bryan like a monster should. We zoom into Kane’s eye to see the conflict.

I love how Fandango doesn’t make eye contact with Summer Rae.

Match 2: RVD vs. FDG

Lock up into a side headlock, Fandango hits the ropes then hits a shoulder tackle. RVD with a kick then scissors Fandango down into a pin. Nice. He gets a 1. Fandango goes for the side headlock again, then sends RVD down with another shoulder. Fandango hits the ropes, cartwheels over a split-legged RVD, and poses. RVD kicks Fandango to the outside, then moonsaults off the apron! RVD does his pose, then goes to grab Fandango. Fandango with a kick then a leg drop over the ropes. Pin for 1…2..NO!

Fandango with a kik to the head, then a knee. One more. Fandango with a cravat from behind. RVD turns out of it. Both men standing. RVD misses a roundhouse, and Fandango hits one of his own. Pin for 1…2..NO! Fandango hops up onto the 2nd turnbuckle. He goes for a knee, but RVD misses. Roundhouse kick to the FACE from RVD! Clothesline. Clothesline. Body slam! Rolling Thunder! Fandango stands, and RVD with a monkey flip! RVD roundhouses Fandango out of the corner, hits a kick, then goes up top! RVD

wants to fly, but Fandango rolls out of the ring to the floor. Summer is standing between the two, and Fandango is looking to walk it out. The ref hits the 10 count.
Official Result: Fandango
They really seemed to have something going there. A few rough spots, but I think given time, they could hav a bad ass match
RATING: *1/2

Fandango name drops himself before walking to the back.

Backstage, AJ is expressing her love to me with Big E. She says she’s beaten Kaitlyn twice, why would she have to do it again? And every time she is in there, Kaitlyn spears her and Big E just lets it happen and WHY DOES HE LET IT HAPPEN! Big E is bout to explain, but AJ goes all crazy AJ. She knows why Big E doesn’t do anything. It’s because he likes her. He likes what she does in the ring. She claims he doesn’t know what she is going to do next, then skips away.

-Commercial Break-

Match 3: AJ Lee vs Kaitlyn

AJ shoves Kaitlyn in the fce with a smile, so Kaitlyn just knocks her to the ground with ease. AJ kicks from the ground, then twerks the arm, only for Kaitlyn to send her back down. AJ gets to the ropes, and hangs up Kaitlyn’s arm on the ropes. She drops her ass on the arm, then pulls back on the arm with the ropes. The crowd has a small dueling chant. AJ works the arm, then bridges over for some leverage. Kaitlyn gets to the ropes. AJ tosses Kaitlyn into the corner head first then gets a kick to the gut. Another. Kaitlyn goes for a roll up but AJ hits a knee to the head! Pin for 1…2..NO!

AJ works the arm again. Kaitlyn is able to stand out of it, but AJ sends her to the corner. AJ runs right into an elbow, then a clothesline. Kaitlyn with a backbreaker. Kaitlyn wants that Spear. She runs for it, but AJ with a knee to the chin! AJ with a pin for 1…2..NO! AJ with the arm, again. They’re standing, and AJ hits the back of Kaitlyn’s neck hard. Kaitlyn fires back with a right to the face, but AJ grabs the arm and drops it on her knees. AJ with a pin for 1…2..NO! AJ lifts Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn sends her to the ropes. Clothesline. Another.

AJ with a mule kick! She hits the ropes…and runs RIGHT into a spear!
Official Result: Kaitlyn
A little sloppy to start, but had its moments.
RATING: ****1/2

AJ screams as Big E watches. He drops to a knee to try and verbally talk her down, but AJ’s primal screams will not stop. Then, the music of Dolph Ziggler hits. Here he comes with a smile and a mic. He challenges Big E to a match right now. Dolph’s music hits, and I guess this match is happening….now.

Match 4: Dolph Ziggler vs Big E Langston

We are back with the match already in progress. Big E is chasing Dolph around the ring, and Dolph is there to drop an elbow once he gets inside. Dolph runs into a big move from Big E. E grabs Dolph and says his time is up, and it’s his time now. He drops a fist to the back of Dolph. Big E runs into a kick in the corner, then Dolph runs into a bear hug of sorts. Belly to Belly suplex onto Dolph! Big E hits the ropes, big splash onto Dolph! Pin for 1….2…NO! E grabs Dolph by the chin, then lifts him up for a bear hug. Dolph is out, hits the ropes, goes for a cross body, but E just catches him and hits two backbreakers. Pin for 1….2….NO! E with a knee to the back of Dolph and hits a modified camel clutch.

Dolph gets out of it, but Big E drops a right to the back and kicks Ziggler in the face. Big E in the corner with a shoulder! Man, he’s kickin some ass. E chokes Dolph up on the ropes. E with a hard right hand to the gut. Another shoulder block. Big E looks for one more running shoulder, but Dolph moves, and E hits the ring post. AJ is beautiful.

Dolph with a right hand. ANother. He gets another! Dropkick to Big E! Dolph runs…right into another hold! He floats out of it, and Big E runs, only for Dolph to send him to the outside!! AJ is in the ring! She chokes Ziggler from behind, then from the front with some elbows! She tugs on Ziggler’s golden locks! Ziggler escapes the ring, leaving AJ to scream in the middle of the ring.

Official Result: Dolph Ziggler via DQ
If this is a preview of what’s to come, then sign me up. Great lookin match.
RATING: **1/2

Big E makes it back into the ring, and he’s asking AJ wassupwitdat, expressing anger over the loss. Ziggler sneaks back in and hits the Zig Zag.

Backstage, Cena is on the phone. Bryan walks in. He wants to know if it’s true, what Vince said. Cena can’t believe that Bryan could even believe that. Cena says not to believe anything Vince says. Bryan brings up that good or bad, Vince has always been honest with him. Cena wants to know if Bryan is calling him a liar. Bryan has no answer. Cena walks away.

Match 5: Christian vs Alberto Del Rio

Lockup between 2/3s of NAFTA is broken up in the corner. Del Rio goes for a grab, but Christian backs up so Del Rio kicks him. Del Rio gets Christin into the corner with some kicks then gets a headlock takedown onto Christian. Both men up, whip to the ropes, Christian knocks Del Rio down with…I don’t even know. Right hand into a headlock take down. Del Rio with Christian in the corner. Stomps send him down to the mat. Del Rio with some more stomps, until the ref breaks it up. Del Rio lifts Christian. Quick suplex with a pin for 1…2..NO! Del Rio goads Christian up, so Christian with a gut check and a few rights. Whip to the ropes, but Del Rio is able to send Christian down. He’s looking for a body slam, but Christian floats over. Drop toe hold sends Del Rio to the second rope. Christian flies over the ropes, goes for the uppercut, but Del Rio saw it coming. Christian back in the ring, and Del Rio hits a kick to the gut.

He gets Christian to the corner, hits him a couple times then runs at him, only for Christian to send Del Rio over the top rope! Christian looks for a baseball slide, but Del Rio moves. Christian looks for a running start, but Del Rio moves, and Christian hits the steps shoulder first! Del Rio opts to dropkick the arm, smashing it into the steps!

We’re back, and Del Rio seems to have kept control. Del Rio is on the 2nd turnbuckle, and is laughing at Christian. He’s lookin to drop an elbow, and does…right on the arm! Pin for 1…2..NO!! Del Rio attacks the arm with kicks. A slap to the head is followed with Del Rio tossing Christian atop the turnbuckle. Tree of woe. Del Rio with kicks to the arm. Del Rio grabs Christian’s face to pick him up. He wants a suplex, but Christian sends him to the mat. Christian with a kick from the top rope. He grabs Del Rio! Tornado DDT! Pin for 1…2…NO!! Both men up. Christian tries to fight back with some rights, but Del Rio gets some headbutts!

Christian with a clothesline! He goes up top! Missile dropkick! Del Rio goads Christian, and gets him to run into the turnbuckle, but Christian kicks Del Rio then hits a sunset flip into a pin for 1…2..NO! Del Rio fights back with a right and some headbutts. Del Rio with a kick to the prone Christian. Del Rio looking for a body slam, hits it. Del Rio tries to send Christian to the outside, but Christian stays on the apron. Shoulder block from the apron. Christian gets his uppercut in then pulls back on Del Rio’s head! He runs into the ring, and here’s Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Pin for 1…2..NO!!! Del Rio with a knee! He stands on Christian’s chest for a minute, then goes up top! He’s looking for a leg drop, but Christian moves! Christian is up. He’s calling for the spear. No one seems to care. He stops midway, as Del Rio rolls out of the ring. He runs and slides back in as Christian follows…right into a superkick! A pin is uneventful, frustrating Del Rio.

Del Rio goes for an Enziguri in the corner. Christian ducks, he goes for the Killswitch, but Del Rio turns that into a cross arm breaker attempt, which Christian turns into a rollup for 1…2…3!!!!
Official Result: Christian
This appears to set up Christian as a legit contender. The first minute or so of this match had some miscommunication, but got going and didn’t stop.
RATING: ***

-Commercial Break-

Before the match, we get a vid package of Sandow and his valiant efforts of saving the briefcase after Cody’s toss.

Match 6: Wade Barrett vs Cody Rhodes

Lockup into a quick armlock from Cody. Wade uses the hair to send Cody to the mat. Cody grabs the leg and pushes Wade towards the corner, but Wade fights out with a right. Back suplex is averted with Cody landing on his feet. He hits the Goldust uppercut, but Wade sends Cody over the top with a hard right hand. Wade heads to the outside and clubs Cody on the back then sends him head first into the barricade. Wade sends Cody into the ring, then looks for a double underhook suplex. Hits it and pins for 1…2.NO! Wade grabs Cody from behind, then sends Cody into the corner chest first. Wade gloats, and turns into a right. Wade hits a right of his own then uses the ropes to assist a backbreaker. Pin for 1…2..NO!

Wade with a cravat from behind. Cody with a right hand. Whip into the corner reversed by Wade. He runs into an elbow. Cody with a kick. He’s going up top. Moonsault? Moonsault. Cody with some right hands. Whip. Kick to Wade. Wade is up against the ropes, so Cody grabs the legs and kicks the “mid-section.” Pin for 1…2..NO!

Cody goes for Beautiful Disaster, but Wade ducks and hits a mule kick. Wade locks in the Pump Handle, but Cody counters it into the Cross Rhodes! Pin for 1…2..3!!!
Official Result: Cody Rhodes
Cody has officially added to his face moveset, and it’s fun to watch.
RATING: **1/2

Sandow is at the top of the ramp. He has already filed a complaint with WWE management. He traveled the world and enlighted the unwashed masses, won MITB and all Cody did was grow a mustache. Sandow comes from a family of scholars…and Rhodes comes from a family of clown. Maybe now, Sandow should send Rhodes to the circus. Then again, Carny folk are beneath Sandow.

Match 7: Kane vs Daniel Bryan

Kane and Bryan look in each other’s eyes, both with a bit of unease. Bryan is first to act with a flying knee. He beats on Kane in the corner with kicks, but Kane just sends him away then kicks Bryan. Whip is met with another kick from Bryan. He attacks the left thigh, hits a few kicks, then runs into a knee from Kane. Kane hits the ropes, and Bryan turns it into a half boston crab! Kane rolls out of it, kicking Bryan away. A right into the corner from Kane. Another. Whip to the corner, and Bryan flips over Kane, hits the ropes and runs right into a Big Boot. Kane sends Bryan into the corner and hits a right hand, then stomps him down in the corner. Kane with a suplex and a pin for 2. Kane locks the head from behind, but Bryan turns out of it and hits some elbows. Right hand to the face. Another. One mo gin! He hits the ropes and runs right into Kane’s arms. Body slam from Kane. Dropkick to the face! Pin for 1…2..NO!

Kane drops an elbow. Another. Pin for 1…2..NO! Kane squeezes the head from behind again. Bryan is able to turn into the hold again, hit some elbows then start in on the kicks. Kane hits a right. They go back and forth. Bryan hits the ropes, ducks under Kane, hits a clothesline, but it doesn’t knock him down. Bryan in the corner. He hits a kick, goes for a jump, but Kane with the goozle. Bryan floats out of the chokeslam! He grabs Kane with his legs and tosses him over the top rope! Bryan with a running knee from the apron as we go to a commercial.

We come back, and I think I missed about 10 seconds due to a Dew refill. Bryan is up top and King says I missed three dropkicks. He flies off top and Kane hits the midsection with a right hand. Kane sends Bryan into the corner, then hits a side slam. Kane goes up top. Bryan is up! Flying clothesline from Kane! Kane tries for a chokeslam, but Bryan goes for the Yes lock! Kane is able to send Bryan away, but Bryan starts in on the kicks! He goes for the headshot, but Kane grabs the legs and goozels Bryan!

Kane lifts Bryan up, but Kane grabs the head! It looks like a DDT, but instead, he rolls Kane over and locks in a pin! 1…2…3!!!!
Official Result: Daniel Bryan
A little short than I expected, but no less stellar.
RATING: ***

Kane is about to do his pyro thing, when he is cut off by the Wyatt video! The music hits, and they’re here.

Kane denies they boys of their fun and slides out the ring to attack Bray. The Family saves Bray and sends Kane back into the ring. They double team, but Kane fights back until a big boot from Harper puts Kane down. They attack some more. Rowan lifts Kane, and Harper hits a huge clothesline on the Big Red Machine. Enter Wyatt. Wyatt grabs Kane, hits the Sister Abigail.

He grabs the mic and mocks Kane’s nickname of the Devil’s Famous Demon. He wants to let Kane in on a secret. You have to be careful who you say those things in front of, because you never know who might be listening.

Earlier Today, Natalya walked by the Bellas and talked about the show on E. They call her the ugly duckling of the show.

Match 8: Brie Bella vs Natalya

Natalya runs with a headlock, but Brie pushes her away and locks up with the ropes. She holds her hand up but Natalya scares the shit out of her. Suplex from Natalya that gets no pin. Brie runs to the ropes again. Natalya on the attack, but Brie with a hangman of sorts. She dropkicks Natalya then stomps on her back. Another stomp. Brie from behind with a chinlock. She slams Natalya down and pins for 1…2..NO! Leg drop from Brie, and another chinlock.

Natalya gets out of the hold and tries to lock in an abdominal stretch. Brie is there to elbow out of it and drop Natalya with somethin. Pin for 1…2..NO! Brie slams Natalya headfirst into the mat. Brie from behind with another chin lock. Come on, brah, geez! Natalya flips Brie over and slaps Brie in the face. Natalya with a spinning body slam. Dropkick. Nattie with a whip. Reveresed by Brie. Nattie with a boot. Spinning clothesline. Pin for 1…2..NO! Natalya is looking for the sharpshooter.

From out the sky, the call of a duck is heard. It’s Nikki at the top of the ramp with a duck call and a mic. She yells out “Quack Quack, Nattie. Quack Quack.” This distracts Nattie enough for Brie to roll her up for the 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Brie Bella
It’s like watching someone think they’re really, really good at that job sucking the life out of the very thing they think they’re good at vs Natalya
RATING: *

-Commercial Break-

Heyman speaks out for a bit. He claims that he is the most exclusive manager/agent/advocate in Sports Entertainment history. Take Brock Lesnar for example, the beast incarnate, who – at Summerslam – will end the career of CM Punk. Being a Paul Heyman guy means you’re amongst the best, perfectly personified by Curtis Axel.

Heyman does a dumb thing, and hands the mic to Curtis. He brings up his pops winning the IC Title in Texas. Despite that, he became Mr. Perfect. As for him, he is already “More Perfect Than Perfect.” Because that makes sense…

Match 8: Curtis Axel vs R-Truth

Axel with a kick, another, he drops Truth to a knee. Right hand sends Truth down for a second. Rope work ends with Truth hitting a roundhouse. A couple of clotheslines and a kick, then Truth gets a front suplex and a pin for 1…NO! Truth hits the ropes, looking for the scissors kick, but Axel moves out of the way and hits Truth in the back of the head. Axel with a kick to the chest of Truth, spinning him on his back. He attacks the head with some rights, then lifts Truth up. Truth blocks and hits some rights, a kick, another right. Axel with a dropkick and like….OUT OF NOWHERE a CM Punk Chant starts.

Axel looks for a neckbreaker and….here’s PUNK!


Official Result: Curtis Axel via DQ?
A hot start, but never really got anywhere and was too short to mean anything.
RATING: **

Punk grabs the legs of Axel and pulls him out of the ring. He sends Axel into the barricade like nothing then eyeballs Heyman. He goes so far as to grab Heyman before Heyman heads over the barricade, but here’s Axel to stop him. Punk sends Axel over the barricade then stands atop the announce table as Heyman heads up the ramp. I’m never one to just say that they pipe in the chants but this seemed….

-Commercial Break-

Backstage, Triple H wants to know if Vince is done tuggin on Maddox’s strings. Vince says maybe somewhere deep, he really wants Bryan to be champ, then starts laughing. Vince says he wants someone that can beat John Cena, someone like Triple H….just 10-20 years younger.

In comes Steph, telling Vince that he shouldn’t e talking about age. She says the people did choose Bryan just as much as Cena did. She has an idea that Bryan needs a…corporate makeover. Vince wishes her luck and walks away. Triple H says it’s worth a shot…

Match 9: TABLES MATCH
John Cena vs Ryback

Lock up, and Ryback hits Cena low. He sends Cena to the corner, but Cena fights out and sends Ryback to the outside! Cena follows and sends Ryback into the barricade near the ramp. With tables everywhere, Cena opts to pull one out from under the ring. Ryback attacks him from behind, and hits a right. The crowd chants for Cena, and Ryback bounces around like a fool, chanting with them, then sends Cena into the ringpost. Ryback grabs the table and runs into the ringpost with the table. Cena moves and the table cracks against the post, attempting to show how strong Ryback is but only truly serving to show how flimsy the tables are. A commercial break comes out of nowhere.

We’re back with Ryback hitting an over the head belly to belly. Cena rolls out of the ring. Ryback follows. He kicks Cena in the chest then gives a right to the back. Ryback calls for powerbomb time, then grabs one of the tables set up on the ramp. He sets up for the powerbomb, gets Cena up, but Cena flies over and attacks Ryback. It’s shortlived as Ryback whips Cena into the stairs. Ryback grabs the lower half of the ringside steps and sends them into the ring. Ryback goes back to grab Cena, but Cena sends Ryback into the apron, back first. Cena goes for a table from under the ring. Cena sets up a table on the apron and the steps, turned sideways. He’ looking to suplex Ryback, but Ryback reverses and sends Cena down.

Ryback goes for another table under the ring and tosses it into the ring. Cena is tossed in the ring, and Ryback follows. Drop Toe hold from Cena, and he locks in the STF. Ryback crawls towards the ropes, but there’s no rope break. Ryback continues to crawl, using the ropes to prevent Cena from holding the submission. Cena grabs a table,and tosses it to the outside, looking to land on top of Ryback, but Ryback goes under the ring. Cena heads outside to look for Ryback, but he creeps out from the other side and spears Cena on the outside!

Ryback looking to grab another set of steps. Cena is struggling to stand. He turns right into Ryback and the steps. Ryback sets up his own apron and stairs setup. He goes after Cena, but Cena shoots him against the announce table. Cena is struggling to get up, and here’s Ryback to attack the back again. He lifts Cena up and goes to toss him, but Cena fights out and sends him forward, knocking down Rybacks tower. How rude. AA setup! Ryback floats out of it. He presses Cena up, and is looking to toss him into the table, but overshoots and Cena lands on his feet on the other side of the table. They have a standoff, until Ryback grabs the steps and breaks the table with the steps. Cena quickly grabs his own set of steps, and they are at a standstill. They lock eyes and….throw the steps at each other. The steps collide midair. Cena heads inside the ring. Ryback follows and Cena hits a couple of rights. Protobomb on top of the steps inside the ring! Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena heads to the outside and grabs a table.

Inside the ring, Ryback is up. He gets a Firemans on Cena, but Cena turns it into a sleeper, only for Ryback to grab his head and drop Cena coccyx first into the mat. Ryback clubs the back a couple of times then sets the table up in the corner. Ryback wants to be fed.
Meathook clothesline from Ryback! Cena is in the corner of the table. Ryback is calling for another big one. Ryback runs, Cena moves, Ryback slows down, Ryback turns around! AA INTO THE TABLE!
Official Result: John Cena
I think they were trying for creativity, but a lot of it came off as hokey and really damaged some credibility of the “strength” of tables. Not that we assumed they were indestructable but damn…
RATING: **

Afterwards, Bryan gets his Yes on all the way down the ramp. He grabs Cena’s belt from the timekeeper and wants to hand it to Cena himself. He gets in the ring and extends the belt to Cena. Bryan pulls back when Cena tries to grab and says it’s going to be his. Cena grabs the belt like it’s his toy and he ain’t tryin to share. He tells Bryan he’s got a long way to go. Bryan just goes all Yes crazy on him to close the show.

End Show.

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Tony Acero
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