wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE RAW Report 9.1.14
Championship Roll Call:
Undisputed WWE World Champion: Brock Lesnar
US Champion: Sheamus
IC Champion: Dolph Ziggler
Unified Diva’s Champion: Paige
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Usos
For more gifs like this, visit the always awesome Wresting With Text!
We start the show with the always awesome Jericho! The Highlight Reel set is up, and we’re ready to go. JBL hits some Cole-like commentary right away. Jericho says we are all hard working men and women. It’s ironic, then, that the man who is on RAW never worked a day in his life. He’s been givin everything on a silver platter. His guest is…Randy Or—
Jericho is interrupted by the music of The King of Kings. Triple H comes out with Seth Rollins, Kane, and Orton. They stand aside each other for a minute, making Kane look completely out of place. Rollins has the mic. Jericho says he didn’t expect Orton’s law firm of Seller, Stuck-up, and Schnoz. Kane tries to warn Jericho of the error of his ways. Triple H says he’s got this. He says Jericho is the man that never grew up. H would love to swap insults, but he has important business to take care of. Jericho says, “I am just a ‘wittle’ guy,” then brings up Triple H only doing business if his wife is being put in jail. Jericho should be thanking Triple H, then talks shit about Jericho’s scarf. Jericho says at least it’s not a pink tie. Triple H says it’s violet. Jericho should be thanking him for making this the most historic Highlight Reel in history. He has been reviewing everything that circled around Cena vs Lesnar, and all of us can too on the WWE Network for only $9.99. In watching it, he has come to the conclusion that it might not be best for business to have a rematch. He is contemplating naming a new #1 Contender for Night of Champions. Jericho wants to get it straight: you can get the WWE Network for only $9.99?! And secondly, even though he’s already granted Cena the rematch, he has changed his mind? Who would get that opportunity?
Enter, Randy Orton, who says there is only one man that can beat Brock Lesnar, and has earned everything that he has got. Kane says it should be someone who unleashes a demon on the beast. Rollins on the mic…or maybe the future has already arrived. Homestate boy gets a big pop. He is one of the most intellient and dangerous superstars here. Jericho says maybe you should give the chance to a 6-time World Champ, and the first Undisputed champion in the history of this business. He names himself, but is cut off by…
HULK HOGAN!
Wait…it’s John Cena.
Cena says he is going to beat Brock. Funny, he says. Flair and Michaels also thought he couldn’t beat Triple H at Mania 22 because Trips tapped out. This isn’t back in the day where H gets to pick and choose. Cena doesn’t care how many people he talks to or footage he watches, he envoked the rematch and Trips authorized it. If he even thinks about taking the rematch away, Cena will sue him for everthing he has then he’ll own WWE and he’s going to fire Trips. It doesn’t work like that, Cena…
He tells H to save himself a headache and his job because the rematch is on and he’s going to beat Brock Lesnar’s ass. Wow, says the H. All he can say is wow. He laughs at the litigation. He calls Cena blind. This is what H is trying to protect against. He says no matter what, he does what is best for business every single day. Did he say “WWWE?” He says he isn’t afraid to admit that maybe Cena as the face isn’t best for business anymore, but Cena’s career ending isn’t good for business at all. Rollins speaks up, tells H to let him have the rematch. He brings up Plan B. Orton says Cena earned his rematch…just like him. Whatever happened to his rematch? Jericho interjects. He says that since Mania, he’s had 4,000 title matches and has succeeded…never. The last big match Jericho saw Orton have, he got Superman Punched by Roman Reigns. Orton says the win for Reigns means nothing, and if he were here right now, he’d drop that piece of crap right where he stands. He tells Jericho to proceed with caution, because if Jericho wants to make a joke of Orton, he will not like the punchline.
Reigns music hits just a tad bit late, and he’s here….he is in the ring, and tells Orton to drop him. H holds him back with a finger. He brings up Ambrose’s eulogy and how he almost crushed Rollins skull with the cinder block. He tells Rollins that they still have unfinished business, then brings up the belt and says his name belongs in that mix. H says that everyone in the ring here sounds like they’re the guy. He tells Cena that Cena thinks he’s proved his resolve, but he doesn’t believe it and doesn’t think Cena beleives it either. He wants to give everyone an opportunity to prove themselves tonight. Jericho, Reigns, Cena vs Rollins, Orton, and Kane….
I did not see that coming!!!
Rollins tries to sneak attack Reigns with the briefcase, but Reigns sees and gives him a quick punch, sending him outside of the ring. Reigns grabs the briefcase and throws it to Seth.
We are going to get Show/Henry vs The Wyatts, and Cole sells it as if we haven’t seen it 42 times…
Recap #1 of the opening segment leads into The Miz
We start with Miz and Dolph, and after a failed pinfall, Dolph hits a Lou Thesz then attempts to barrage the face, only for Miz to sneak out. Miz leaves the ring after Dolph attempts to hit a right. Sheamus follows and hits a few rights before sending Miz in the ring. Sheamus is now the legal man. He shoves Miz away, hits a shoulder in the corner, then a high kick. Hits the ropes and just trucks MIz down. Miz with rights then lefts. He attacks Sheaus in the corner, then goes for a kick .Sheamus returns the favor, though, and sends Miz over the top rope. He grabs the head and looks for the beatdown on his chest. Sheamus gets damned near 20 hits. Miz turns. Sheamus with the firemans. Rolling Senton. Cover for 1…2…NO! The crowd wants Ziggler. Sheamus with a right hand. Miz hits the ropes. Cesaro with the blind tag. He runs in and hits a dropkick just as we go to break.
We are back. Miz is being touched up in the makeup chair while Cesaro holds Sheamus in a choke hold. Cesaro sends Sheamus inoto the corner. Cesaro slaps the face of Sheamus a few times. haha nice! Sheaus sends Cesaro away, but Cesaro sends him over the top rope. Shoulder to Cesaro. DSheamus wants the battering ram, but Cesaro stop it with shoulder block. Cesaro mixes a fallaway slam into a pin! Wow. 1…2…NO! Cesaro sends Shemaus into the corner, but Sheamus rolls up. Cesaro with a forearm. He hops up. Shemaus with a headbutt. He stands. Battering ram to Cesaro! Both men down. Tag to Miz! Tag to Ziggler! Runningcltoheslines! Splash in the corner! Neckbreaker to Miz!! The crowd is lovin it. Ziggler hits the ropes and goes for the fameasser, but miz holds him and looks for a powerbomb. Ziggler rolls Miz uP! 1…2..NO! Dolph goes for another pin for 1….2..NO! Cesaro breaks it up! Sheamus is in to send Cesaro to the outside! Miz rolls out of the ring and sends in Sandow!! Sando removes his coat thing and says “ACTION!” hahahahaha.
Sandow gets in the ring. He turns. Dolph hits a ZIG ZAG! But Miz is here to hit The Skull Crushing Finale immediately after!!! Pin for 1….2….3!!!
Official Result: The Miz and Cesaro
Oh Sandow, you slay me…
RATING: **1/2
Remember last week? War of the Womb? Well we get to see some of that again, followed by a video package called “Growing Up Bella”
…
Nikki brings up her Senior Prom photo with “Ryan” and how excited she was “uh,” she says, “She was so excited.” Right after the photo was taken, Ryan disappeared. Later that night, he was in the parking lot..with Brie. She went home and cried her eyes out, but she never told anyone that…
Dear lord, if we get these things throughout the entire show, I’m going to stab a midget…
Layla and Rosa Mendes start off here. Layla with a couple of pin attempts for 1. Mendes with a whip. Layla does the roll into a pin for 1. Layla with a kick to the gut. She misses a roundhouse, but lands a back kick and pins for 1…2..NO! Whip is reversed. Layla with a kick to the gut then a crossbody and a pin for 1…2..Cameron is in to break it up. She is slow to get back to the corner, so Layla attacks her. All of a sudden, all six women are in the ring to attack eah other, calling for a DQ
Official Result: No Contest
There’s Divas, then there is Total Divas…
RATING: -***
Naomi hits the Rear View on Cameron, then the faces clear the heels out. Total Divas is coming soon, and this made me want to watch every second of it.
Clearly…
Rowan and Henry to start. Lockup into a side headlock. Henry sends him to the ropes then hits a hard shoulder. Henry with a headbutt to Rowan. Shoulders in the corner by Henry. Whip to the corner by Henry. Henry gets on the first rop and beats down Rowan with fewer rights tan I expected. Whip to the opposite corner, Henry splashes in the corner. Henry pulls Rowan towards the corner. Henry steps on the abdomen of Rowan, and i Just questino my use of “abdomen.” Henry drops a knee to the face of Rowan and just kinda leaves it there. Henry lifts Rowan and hits a nother headbutt. Kick to the chest. Henry gets to the 2nd rope and wants to splash, but Harper distracts and Rowan trips up Henry. Tag to Harper, who comes in fast with a Big Boot. Pin for 1…2…NO!!
Back to the show, and Rowan has Henry. They both go for a big boot, and happily clap feet. Tag to Harper who attacks Henry in the corner. We see Rusev and Lana head down the ramp with the Russian Flag. Harper runs into a big boot by Henry. Henry tags Show in! Show runs with a hard clothelsine. Another to Harper! Whip to Harper in the corner followed by a splash then a shoulder tackle! He wants the KO, but Harper heads in, so he sends Harper outside with a kick. Big Show heads to the outside to get Harper, but Harper clips the leg and Show goes tumobling into the barricade. The ref is at 4 as Show struggles to get back in the ring. ROwan watches him on the apron. Show gets back in at 9. Harper attacks quickly, kicking the rubs, again, one more to the face! Harper with a pin for 1…2…NO! Rowan is tagged in and he drives his knuckles into the side of Show’s head. Show is able to toss Rowan off of him, but just as he stands ,Rowan hits a big boot! He hokes up Show in the corner then tags Harper. Harper with a throat thrust. He attacks Show in the corner. Show with a few chops. Harper with another thrust, then a hard kick from Harper to send Show to the mat. He goes for a pin, but decides against it, being too close to the ropes. Tag to Rowan. Rowan attacks the head. Pin for 1…2..NO! Rowan with a right hand. Another. Show hits the ropes, bounces back. ROWAN BODYSLAMS BIG SHOW!! Pin for 1….2…NO!! Rowan goes for another Body Slam, but Show is able to hit a DDT!! Tag to Harper! Tag to Henry!! Henry with a stalled body slam to Harper! Pin for 1…2..NO!
Rowan breaks the pin! Show enters to send Rowan to the outside! Show follows. Show and Rowan fight by the announce table! Henry lifts up Harper, looking for World’s Strongest Slam! Henry turns and BAM! Kick from Rusev to the face!!
Official Result: The Big Show and Mark Henry via DQ
Didn’t we just see a similar ending? Match was slow, but not nearly as bad as I assumed. Somewhere in the middle with regards to their previous efforts.
RATING: **
After the match, Harper enters with a chair, but Show gives it the KO punch.
We are here with Nikki again, and we get another anecdote where Brie allegedly took her driver’s license, got into a car accident, and blamed Nikki.
We return to RAW and get a nice little video package for Cena and Brock. Afterwards, Paul Heyman is here with some words for us. He has been authorized to enlighten us on the term of overcompensatory behavior. This has been used by Cena since his defeat at Summerslam by Brock. we get a few photos of the beatdown from Summerslam. Heyman says Brock emasculated John Cena at Summerslam. Cena has now suffered the fate of seeing the day where he has been stripped of his manhood. When this happens, people stop listening to reason. Cena didn’t listen to HBK and Flair, or Triple H earlier tonight. Trips sees Cena as a cash cow, a cow that will be milked one last time. Cena will be spectacular in the main event tonight, but you can stack the entire roster, multiply it by infinity, and it still will not equate to the amount of punishment Cena will go through at Night of Champions.
6/10 on the Heyman Scale.
The Real American Swagger is here, and he’s got a friend with him!! ZEBBY’S BACK!!!
Lockup and Axel gets Swagger in the corner. Swagger turns it around and sends Curtis into the corner, and hits a few knees. He tosses Axel across the ring. Rope work sees Axel duck then hit a clothesline to the back of the neck of Swagger. Atop the stage, Bo Dallas is standing, with three chairs behind him. He brings three people on stage and they sit behind him. In the ring, Swagger is hitting a right hand. Swagger sends Axel down!
Swagger Bomb is thwarted by Axel putting a boot up, but Swagger grabs the boot! Patriot Lock!! Curtis Axel taps out!!
Official Result: Jack Swagger
That was there.
RATING: 1/2*
Bo on the mic. He congratulates Swagger, but wants to introduce him to a few people. This is Richie. He bet an entire month’s salary on Swagger winning. Then double or nothing on Swagger’s rematches. Richie’s savings are completely gone. The bank is taking his family’s farm. Angelo is next, an immigrant who came to America just a few years ago. He was so upset about Swagger losing that he failed his citizenship test, and is now being deported back to Italy. We get to Jennifer. Her son was Swagger’s favorite wrestler. But after Summerslam, her son wants to be like…Vladimir Putin. He wants us all to stand, put our right hands over our hearts, and repeat: “All you have to do is Bo-lieve!”
Lockup to start. Titus works the arm, but Rose rolls out…then continues to roll….ok. He ends up in the corner, flies off the corner for a crossbody, but Titus catches him and hits a backbreaker. Titus tosses Rose aside then barks. Heath tries to do the same, but sounds like a horny chihuahua. Don’t ask how I know.
Ringside, the bunny is distracting Heath by hopping up and down and moving its head. I think it’s trying to court Heath. The bunny shakes its ass in front of Heath. Titus is distracted for a bit. The bunny pulls the legs of Slater and attacks Slater! Titus is distracted yet again, and Rose rolls up Titus.
Tag Team Match, Playa?….
Official Result: Adam Rose
How Bunny…
RATING: NR
After the match, we get another “Growing Up Bella” brought to you by Lifetime. Apparently, Brie was a dummy who was very close to not graduating. Brie asked if they could switch places, so that Nikki could take her test for her. “But I never told anyone.” Deep.
Lana on the stick…giggity.
She says today we celebrate another day off, which means we continue to show our youth that it’s ok to be corbulent and listless. In contrast, Russia celebrates the day of knowledge, where they promote the education of their youth. In essence, we and our labor day….suck.
Swagger with a sneaky toe stomp. He gets the flurry of attack quick, then goes for the Ruff Ryder, only to be thwarted pretty quickly. Fall away slam, followed by a hard kick. Lana wants CRUSH! Stomp to the back.
Accolade is locked in. Ryder taps.
Official Result: Rusev
Do you like squash matches? Cuz boy has this last thirty minutes been for you…
RATING:
The music of Henry interrupts the celebration. Henry runs down the ramp and enters the ring just as Rusev leaves the ring. He’s not ready for all that Sexual Chocolate. Henry grabs a mic, and wants to know what Rusev is afraid and why he is running. He calls Rusev scared, and says he’s scared, too. Afraid of what he may do once he gets his hands on Rusev. He is the strongest man in the strongest country. Look him in his face, Rusev, because Henry means all this. He thinks that because Rusev is undefeated, he is invincible. Henry has another thing comin for Rusev…he just opened an International Wing in the Hall of Pain, and Rusev is going to be the first inductee. Lana laughs it off.
Backstage, Trips is talking to wifey. He tells her she shouldn’t be getting involved with the Bellas again. She says she can relate to Nikki. Trips says to let it go. She says that when her employees have problems, her door is open. Steph has been given so much in her life, and she wants to give back. Triple H says he loves Steph, and her big heart. Stephanie has an announcement, and she can’t wait to see Nikki’s face.
We are back, and Steph is here to make a huge announcement. Nikki comes out. Steph says she had no idea how deep the family issues really ran. BORING chant. Steph brings the audience into it, saying we know what it’s like to feel weak and powerless. As a mother, a sister, and a business woman, she is proud of Nikki. She raises her children with love and respect, and thank God there isn’t a Brie among them. Brie is cruel and self centered, but Nikki is the FACE of the Divas Division. She is officially granting Brie a match for…the Divas Championship.
Oh….wow.
The Bellas music hits, and Steph cuts it, saying that music belongs to Nikki now. Brie says whatever. She says this doesn’t concern her, and it’s between her and her sister (not, my sister and I, Brie..geez). Brie wants to know if this was all it was about – a title match. She has turned Brie’s life upside down, and for what? Nikki says “for me.” It’s all about Brie, that’s all it’s ever about. Nikki sees right through Brie. Steph sees right through her, too. She is just counting down the days that Bruyan sees right through her, too. When he does, he will divorce Brie. Let’s face the facts, Nikki is going to be the next Divas Champ, the Bella that everyone is talking about, and Brie is going to be some mem
YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AJ is here to save us from the mundane!!! HUGE CM Punk Chant. AJ says hi to “Boss Lady.” She isn’t sure if Steph and H is aware of the concept of No 1 Contender. You see, there is ONE contender, and that person is AJ. We can all agree that AJ doesn’t play well what’s others. So why doesn’t Steph do what’s best for business, let the Bellas work through what they have to on their own time, and leave the Divas title to her. Steph says she loves to be enlightened, but Steph has…
PAIGE’s Primal Scream hits.
Paige says that all of this talk about the Divas Championship, and there’s one thing missing….”The Bloody Divas Champion.” Paige and AJ argue. Nikki calls them two immature little girls. Nikki says she can make all of this go away. She will forgive Brie under one condition…Brie sacrifice for Nikki as much as she has sacrificed all of these years. She wants Brie to quit. Nikki says Brie would quit for Bryan, but not for her? If Brie truly thinks it’s not about her, Brie will quit right now. Brie walks away slowly. Nikki calls her a quitter. Brie looks to leave.
AJ DOESN’T BELONG HERE….
Brie turns and smacks Nikki hard, sending her right into Paige! AJ is standing. She grabs the title, smirks, then skips around the mess that is in the ring. And Paige. Her skipping is cut short…by Stephanie McMahon. Man, AJ looks so hot….Steph tells her to give up the Divas Championship. NOW! AJ smiles and hands it over. Steph takes it from her with malice. AJ leaves. Nikki is on her knees. Paige is Paige.
Recap of last week when Goldust and Stardust attacked The Usos. The Usos are out first. Goldust and Stardust head out, too. They want to talk for a bit. They want to apologize for last week, but The Usos aren’t buyin it and attack first.
Jey and Golfust to start. Goldust sends Jimmy into the corner back first. Goldy stomps him down a bit then sends Jimmy into the ropes. Pin and a kick out results in a cravat from Goldust in the middle of the ring. Clothesline from Jimmy! Rope work! Samoan Drop by Jimmy! Buttsplash in the corner. Followed by a superkick to Goldust! Pin for 1…2.NO! Cody puts GOldusts leg on the ropes. Jey tries to attack, but Cody kicks the knee.
Jimmy from the ring flies with a splash to Cody! He heads back in, but Goldust is there for a kick to the head. The Final Cut! Pin for 1…2..3!!
Official Result: Goldust
I like the heelish tendancies, but what’s the motive?
RATING: *
Both Goldy and Cody attack Jey on the outside. Cody keeps saying it’s ok. GOldust drops Jey on the apron, knee first. Cody grabs a chair. Goldust has Jey’s leg wrapped around the post. Cody smacks it with the chair, hard! Jey screams in agony as Cody and Goldy head up the ramp.
Show ad Henry are chattin it up backstage. Show understands Henry’s worries about Rusev, but they have an opportunity to be the biggest tag team in history. Henry says he understands that, but he’s gotta do this for him. Rusev is first, and he’s going to do this for his country. Show acts all Drill Sergeant on Henry’s ass that ultimately ends like this:
Reigns and Orton to start. Reigns blocks a hit and gets in a right hand. He sends Orton in the corner and hits some shoulders. Orton is able to fight out with some kicks, then sends Reigns into the ropes. No, it’s reversed, and Reigns hits a back elbow. Orton with a kick to Reigns. Whip to the ropes, Orton bends down, and Reigns headbutts him. Pin for 1. Reigns with a whip to the corner. Reigns fires out of the corner with a clothesline. He mounts with a few rights. Reigns knocks Kane off the apron then grabs Rollins and just tosses him into the ring. Reigns corners Rollins and beats down a bit but Orton is there to break it up. Reigns turns and clotheslines Orton to the outside! He turns again, and sees Rollins, who opts to just leave the ring instead.
We are back, and Kane is covering Reigns for a pin. He gets two, then locks up Reigns and tags in Orton. Orton scrapes the forehead wit the boot, then stomps the hand. Orton with an uppercut. Kick to the chest. Rope work. Orton is dropped with a clothesline! SAMOAN DROP! Cover for 1…2…NO! Reigns with a clothesline then some right hands to the cornered Orton. He gets to 5 before Orton gets out from under and pulls Reigns down with a backbreaker!! Reigns rolls to the outside. Tag to Rollins. Rollins hops off the apron and tosses Reigns into the barricade then the ring and pins for 1….2…NO! Rollins with the rest hold. Reigns stands out of it and backs into the corner, but Seth is able to dorp him and tag in Kane. Kane with stomps to the floored Reigns. Kane with the rest hold until Reigns can hit him with a side slam. Kane is able to tag in Orton and he comes in to stomp Reigns before he could reach Cena. Another stomp and a pin for 1…2…NO! Both men up, only to knock each other right back down. Both men moving to get a pin. Orton tries to provent the tag,but isn’t able to. Tag to Jericho! Tag to Rollins! Jericho atacks Rollins! He knocks Kane off. Running Bulldog to Rollins! Lionsault! He hits it!! Jericho want the walls! He gets em!! He locks it in! Rollins rolls, but Jericho brings the hold to the center of the ring. Orton from behind! Reigns here with the SUperman Punch! Kane with the chokeslam! Cena is here! AA to Kane!! Rollins hops off the ropes and kicks Cena, sending him to the outside! Jericho is back with a roll up for 1…2…NO!!! Seth with an Enziguri!! Pin for 1…2…NO!!!!
JERICHO IS UP WITH A CODE BREAKER!!! AND WE GET A FUCKIN COMMERCIAL BREAK?! DAFUQ?!
We return to the show, and Jericho is chopping Orton. Jericho hits the ropes, but orton hits a quick powerslam. Pin for 1…2…NO! We see what we missed, with Jericho going for the cover after the code breaker and getting only a 2 due to Orton. Back to real time, Rollins is sending Jericho into the corner. Chops by Seth and a right hand to the face. Rollins is rollin then runs into the corner to attack Jericho, sending him down to the mat backfirst. Rollins hops up to the top rope. He flies…but JERICHO WITH A DROPKICK!! Ouch! TAG TO KANE! Jericho is so close to Cena! Kane pulls the leg! He uppercuts the chin of Cena then covers for 1…2.NO! Sidewalk slam to Jericho! Pin for 1…..2..NO! Cravat from behind onto Jericho. Jericho is able to turn into it. Big chop to Kane. One more. Kane kicks. Whips Jericho. Jericho with a boot in the corner. He hops on the second rope and jumps…right into an uppercut. Tag to Orton. Orton hits the ropes then kicks the side of the laid out Jericho. hard knee to the face and a pin for 1…2…NO! Orton grabs the head of Jericho and drags Orton to te corner. He attacks the back of Jericho then sits him up on the top rope. Orton wants a Superplex. He goes for it. Jericho is trying to prevent it from happening, and does with a few chops. Jericho with a beautiful cross body off the top rope! Pin for 1….2…..NO!!!!! Tag to Kane! Jericho reaches….Kane with a cheap shot to Reigns! Jericho ducks a move, attacks the back of Kane, then tags in Cena quickly! I like that!
Clothesline to Kane, another. He kicks Rollins down then turns into a chokeslam attempt. Jericho attacks! Orton in to send Jericho to the outside. Cena goes for Kane, but ROllins is here. GERMAN SUPLEX TO ROLLINS! Rollins is sent outside! AA to Kane!! Cena smirks at Triple H, who is at ringside. He tags in Reigns wih a grin. Reigns calls for the spear. HE HITS IT!!!
Official Result: John Cena
A solid match, as expected, but still couldn’t save what was a pretty bad RAW…
RATING: ***
Cena goes to TRiple H, gets in his face a bit. Rollins tries to attack, but Cena hits an AA like nothing on him, onto the annouve table, then goes back to telling Triple H that he will be seeing Brock Lesnar at NOC.
Was that necessary?
End Show
