411’s WWE Smackdown Report 1.11.13
Michael Benjamin here and I’m bringing you 411’s official Smackdown Report! We have a big episode of Smackdown to cover tonight. How about that projected Wrestlemania card though? WOOF.
ON TO THE SHOW.
Welcome to 411’s LIVE Smackdown Report 1.11.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: CM Punk
World Champion: Big Show
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Eve
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Kane & Daniel Bryan
– Booker T comes down to the ring and welcomes us to the show. He says that we’re gonna kick the year off with a bang. He announces that Antonio Cesaro will wrestle Randy Orton tonight! He says that The Rock’s in the building and then the screen cuts to a graphic of Big Show vs Alberto Del Rio. Post production Booker T (over the Smackdown theme that’s now playing out of nowhere) tells us that it’s going to be a Last Man Standing match. Maybe the segment ran too long live? That was sloppy. Big Show comes down to the ring,pissed off about the stipulation. Big Show says that the Latino prevalent community won’t cheer Alberto over him just because of race. He says there’s no Latino heroes. HEAT~! Big Show loses his temper and starts to choke Booker in the corner before Alberto makes the save. Del Rio sends Big Show packing with an enziguri as we head to break.
Anybody else think Orton needs new music already? Cesaro’s kicks all kinds of ass though. Can’t see it getting old. We get a pretape of Cesaro announcing his entrance into the Royal Rumble as he makes his way to the ring. The bell rings and we’re off. Lock up to start. Cesaro goes right to work on the arm. Orton wants/has none of that and tries to mount some offense. Cesaro hits some nice uppercuts before Orton sends him to the outside and hits a stiff clothesline on the floor as we head to commercial.
During the break, Cesaro rammed Orton off of the apron into a barricade. In the ring now, Orton fights out of a headlock but Cesaro keeps him grounded with a clothesline. Cesaro lifts him up and hits a gut wrench for two. He gets Orton in a headlock and I realize that Orton makes really stupid faces sometimes. I can’t be the only one who thinks that. Right? ROLL UP BY ORTON! Only gets two. Michinoku Driver by Cesaro for two! Cesaro whips Orton into the corner and Orton ducks a clothesline. He fights back with clotheslines of his own and CESARO HITS THE VERY EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Only two! Orton with gives Cesaro a modified backbreaker and follows up with the DDT off the second rope! He’s signaling for the RKO! HERE’S THE SHIELD! The Shield beat down Orton and pose over him as we head to break.Orton and Cesaro packed as much as they could into the time allotted and it paid off with an excellent match. Cesaro even managed to look competitive, getting a nice near fall after the uppercut. I want to see them go twenty.
OFFICIAL RESULT:Randy Orton @ 5:43 (aired) via DQ (Shield Interference)
– Striker is backstage with 3MB! They hype up the Rumble. Slater mentions that his mom said 3MB has a 10% of winning the match! These guys are SO entertaining. I hate that half of you don’t like their act. I wish we could all come together on this one.
– We get a pretape of Punk and Heyman standing in the middle of Sun Life stadium. He has The Rock’s college jersey in hand and tries it on. Heyman tells him that it looks nice. What a guy, that Paul E. Punk goes into promo mode, essentially saying that The Rock’s old college arena was gone just like his spot on the WWE roster. Well look at that. It went full circle. This was a nice little promo hyping up future confrontations and the eventual match with The Rock at the Royal Rumble.
– Dolph, AJ, and Big E Langston are on their way to the ring as we head to…
– Matt Striker is backstage with Alberto and Ricardo. Alberto says that Show is the most insecure guy on the planet and that he’ll be the next World Heavyweight Champion.
Ziggler and Khali start the match. Dolph tries to mount quick offense on Khali but Khali shrugs it off and sends Ziggler into the corner! What’s he gonna do? CHOP! Whips Ziggler into another corner. CHOP! Ziggler quickly tags in AJ. Natalya in now and she’s a ball of fire. She gets AJ down on her back and goes for the sharp shooter. I would have went a different direction with that. AJ bites her way out of it. AJ bites Natalya more in the ear and hits a Sliced Bread #2 for the win. I’m starting to like AJ’s heel shtick more and more. Big E hits his finisher on Swoggle after the match.
OFFICIAL RESULT: AJ Lee pinned Natalya @ around 3:00 via pinfall
– Another pretape from Punk and Heyman at Sun Life stadium. It was solid stuff but it was really just all of the same stuff Punk has been saying since he turned heel.
– Music hits. Crowd pops. Clockwork. Rock makes his way down to the ring as the entire audience gives him a standing O right out of the gate. Rock says we have a special show tonight. He gives a quick shout out to Flo Rida in the front row. Rock’s disappointed that CM Punk decided not to show up. a Cookie Puss chant ensues. Rock says that everything he started, started right here in Miami. Rock says he wants to party and Damien Sandow’s music hits! Team Rhodes Scholars make their way down to the ring to some decent heat. Damien introduces himself and Cody to The Rock. Rhodes doesn’t think that The Rock deserves the airtime and says that the Rock needs to get out of the ring before they force him to. Rock says that Cody has a dead caterpillar on his lip and the crowd pops.
– Cody says that he’s an adult and if he wants to grow a mustache, he’ll grow a mustache! Damien wants to make a wager with The Rock. Damien explains to Rock that he has yet to find anybody who can answer his three questions. He says that if The Rock can answer his three questions correctly, he gets to stay. The Rock says just bring it! Cody’s not sure if he’ll get those questions right because he went to Miami. *BOOOOO*
Damien Sandow: Who was the 19th president of the United States?
The Rock: Rutherford B Haynes, bitch!
– Rock gets the second question right as well (Schindler’s List) before turning the tables and telling Damien that it’s Rock’s turn to ask the question. Long story short, the correct answer was Rock Bottom and Damien ate it. Rock stares down Cody Rhodes and Rhodes is ready to fight! He charges at The Rock and gets hit with a spine buster! People’s elbow! This was pretty fun. It did kind of feel like a throwaway comedy segment though. Can we find something better for The Rock to do while he’s making all of these appearances? Entertaining as hell though.
3MB roll to the outside and begin heading up the ramp. THEY DON’T NEED THIS MATCH. They run back to the ring for a sneak attack but Mahal and McIntyre change their mind last minute and bail. Slater rolls in alone and eats a Brogue. 1, 2, 3. What was the point of making Slater look so strong last week?
OFFICIAL RESULT: Sheamus @ :21 via pinfall
Daniel Bryan and Darren Young start off and Bryan finds himself isolated in PTP’s corner pretty quickly. Looks like this is going to be a tag match worked in fast forward. Titus’ offense looks legitimately painful. In a sloppy yet impressive sort of way. He whips Bryan into the corner and runs at him. Bryan hits him with two boots to the face and in comes Kane. Sideslam by Kane gets two. Young manages to get to the top rope but Kane catches him with an uppercut on the way down. Kane goes for a double chokeslam but it’s a no go. Bryan in for the save and he sends Titus packing. A chokeslam from Kane (duh) pins Young. Unfortunately this was a squash. I feel like the tag team division is slowly starting to get less competitive again. Hopefully I’m wrong about that.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Team Hell No @ 2:20 via pinfall
Ding ding ding! Big Show dominates out of the gate with chops and headbutts. Big Show hits a scoop slam and the referee is already starting the first count. Alberto gets up at 4 and starts to fire punches at Big Show. A chop stops Alberto in his tracks and Show sets up a table on the outside of the ring. The crowd starts to chant “We want tables”. Well shit, he just pulled a table out. Come on, Florida. Big Show gives Alberto a scoop slam through the table and Alberto uses the announce table to assist himself up at 5. Show grabs a chair and rolls Alberto in. Alberto manages to get a hold of the chair and starts swinging at the big man. Alberto’s having trouble getting Big Show down. He locks on an arm bar and Show lifts him up to toss him outside. Alberto holds on though and he’s hanging from Show’s arm upside down over the floor, trying to yank it out of it’s socket. Big Show lifts Alberto up and drops him on the mat.
We join in as Alberto and Big Show brawl around the outside. Show rolls him back in and grabs a second table! I like it. Not every table spot needs half a match of build. He rolls the table in the ring this time. He sets it up in the corner and turns around, finding himself on the receiving end of punches from Del Rio! Alberto dropkicks him through the table out of nowhere! Nice. Big Show is up at six. Del Rio jumps on his back and applies a sleeper hold immediately. Big Show fights out of it but Alberto retains his momentum with punches and clotheslines. Alberto off the top rope! Big Show catches him and hits him with a chokeslam! Alberto gets up at eight and Big Show tosses him right back to the outside. He stalks Alberto as he crawls to the barricade to help himself up. Big Show tackles him through the barricade and we get another count! Alberto BARELY makes it to his feet this time. Big Show rolls him back into the ring with a frustrated look on his face. Big Show is signalling for the knock out punch! HITS IT! Alberto rolls to the floor and lands on his feet, using the apron to hold himself up. The ref is forced to break the count. Alberto’s trying to make catch his balance as Big Show is grabbing the ring stairs. He lifts them overhead and charges! Drop toehold by Alberto! Big Show goes face first into the stairs which went right into the ring post.He’s still standing though! Alberto powers the stairs up and hits Show twice in a row. Show is STILL up! He lifts the stairs again and NAILS Big Show with the stairs right over the head. That was sick looking. Big Show falls behind the announce table and Alberto flips the table on to Show! Can he get up!? THAT’S IT! These two delivered a good match. The entire match was “spot, wait for count, set up spot, repeat” but that’s what you’re going to get from a Last Man Standing match. They did a good job telling the story of Alberto being unable to get the big man grounded and found a logical way to end the match. Good stuff.
OFFICIAL RESULT: New World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio @ 14:29 aired via ten count
OVERALL: This episode was a mixed bag. Orton/Cesaro was a quick yet entertaining sprint, The Rock’s segment was fun (yet unspectacular), and Alberto Del Rio won the World Heavyweight Championship in a pretty good match to close the show. Everything in between was pretty unspectacular though.
I’ll see you guys next Wednesday for Main Event!