wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE Smackdown Report 1.21.16

January 21, 2016 | Posted by Tony Acero

Larry is out and about doin daddy stuff. So tonight….I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

I just got off my shift at the bar and cut my index finger while cutting a lemon. Still, I’m here for you. Yes…you.

Smackdown starts with Jericho! He’s red-faced and happy. He welcomes us to Thursday Night Jericho, and says that he hasn’t been on Smackdown for 14 months, and it’s good to be back. In three days, they have the biggest Royal Rumble in the history of the WWE, cuz, you know….the title and stuff. He takes credit for this, and brings up the biggest highlight reel in WWE History. We get a recap of last week where Brock got his ass handed to him.

Fast forward to tonight, and Jericho calls him, Brock, and Reigns the top three odds. He is the Savior of the WWE, and he will win —-

He is cut off by the Power of Positivity!!

Big E throws shame on Jericho. Big E brings up Francesca, and how Jericho is “yucking it up” while they are mourning. They call him a Brass Murderer. They note that Jericho has not one single shred of remorse.

New Day asks for a moment of silence with Jericho. Jericho doesn’t want to. He then quotes confucious. “Sometimes a unicorn is not a unicorn, sometimes it’s just a jackass with a plunger stuck on his face.” Jericho says they need better unicorn name. He calls them Rooty, Tooty, Booty and New Day hops in the room. Jericho says he’d love to kick their asses, but tonight they have a scheduled six man tag match.

How does he know?!?!

Match 1: The New Day vs The Usos and Dolph Ziggler
Kofi to start with the chubbier Uso. Jimmy works the arm of Kofi. Kofi flips out of it a bit then works the reversal and pulls Jimmy down by the hair. Both men up, and Kofi gloats. Jimmy with the go behind then a chop to the chest. He cocks the arm like Reigns and hits another chop. Whip to the corner is shortened and Jimmy hits a right hand. Tag to Jey, who comes in and we get a double elbow drop. Cover for 1..2..NO! Kofi with a right. Tag to Woods who gets arm dragged into a submission. Jey with a body slam. Tag to Ziggler after some stomps in the corner. Ziggler is in with a dropkick to the face. Cover for 1..2.NO. Ziggler works the arm, stomping to the New Day chant. Neckbreaker from Ziggler. Elbow drop and a pin for 1. NO! Ziggler gets pushed into the corner. Tag to Big E, who comes in with a right hand. Belly to Belly! Big E hits the ropes. SPLASH and a pin for 1..2..NO! Kofi is in now, hits an uppercut then a dropkick. He grabs the arm then tags in Woods. Woods with a dropkick of his own. Cover for 1…NO! Tag to Kofi once aain. He enters and watches Woods hit a low clothesline. Cover from Kofi gets a 1. He locks a submission from behind but Dolph hits an axe handle. Kofi sends him in the corner, hits some rights, then goes for a splash. Dolph moves. Kofi hops to the top. Turns. Flies. DROPKICK from DOLPH!!! Tag to Uso. He comes in, hits a spinning elbow. Whip to the corner. Dropkick in the corner. Jimmy feels it. Kofi drops. Butt splash in the corner. Woods on the apron, gets clotheslined by Jimmy. Right hand to Woods. Big E on the apron, just armdrags Jimmy over the top rope!

After a break, we get Big E locking in an abdominable stretch. He slaps the hip of Jimmy. Wait….that ain’t the hip. He’s smackin dat ass. Big E stomps Jimmy in the corner. Tag to Kofi who gets him some licks. Tag to Woods, continuing the stomp. Tag to Big E. Kofi in now. Woods’ turn. Kofi with the whip dropkick this time! All three men dance. Woods lifts Jimmy up and hits a right hand. Whip and a short clothesline again. Cover for 1…2..NO! Jimmy getgs shoved into the corner, comes out with a sunset flip. Woods gets a tag, Jimmy doesn’t see. Big E is in with a hard clothelsine and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Big e knocks Jey off the apron then hits sets Jimmy up on the corner. Big E hits the back. One more forearm. He sets Jimmy up in the Electric Chair, but Jimmy gets off and kicks Big E away. Jimmy flies off the top rope with a Whisper in the Wind. Tag to Dolph! Tag to Woods! Clothesline from Ziggler. Again. Splash in the corner. Neckbreaker! Elbow drop! Pin for 1…2..NO! ZIggler with the Fameasser! Ziggler knokcs Kofi off the apron. He goes for a splash, Jey gets a tag. Woods sends Dolph over the top rope. Jey with a crossbody! Right hand. Another. Dropkick sends Woods into the corner, Butt splash, but Woods moves! He hits the ropes! SAMOAN DROP from JEY! Jimmy in with a SUperkick to Big E! Enziguri to Kofi! Woods is laid out in the corner, Jey hits the ropes, Jimmy holds the ropes. Jey flies over onto Big E and Kofi! Woods attacks with a right hand.

He runs into an elbow. Tag from Dolph. All three faces are in the ring. TRIPLE SUPERKICK TO WOODS!!! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: The Usos and Dolph Ziggler
“The Usos LOVE to have fun!”
Rating: **1/2

Charlotte is ringside for the following match.

Match 2: Becky Lynch vs Alicia Fox
Lockup, and Alicia is sportin some new hair. Becky with the side headlock. Alicia flips out, back kicks then whips Becky in the corner. Becky hops over and we get a drop toe hold. Leg drop to Alicia. Another. Cover for 1..2..NO! Alicia heads to the outside while Byron tries to sound smart. Alicia with a kick on the outside followed by a Northern Lights Suplex and a bridge for seemingly no reason… Alicia sends Becky back in the ring then follows and sends her into the corner hard. ALicia with a body slam followed by a pin for 1..2…NO! ALicia goes for a submission, but Becky ain’t having it. She rolls Alicia up for a 1 then hits an uppercut. Another. Becky hits a clothesline. Another. She lifts Alicia. Whip to the corner. Hard elbow. Bounce kick off the ropes. Becky with the exploder out of the corner. Cover for 1..2..NO! Becky is up.

Alicia is in the corner. Becky runs, gets hit with kick. Alicia lifts her up, but Becky grabs the arm. DISARMER!!! Alicia Fox taps!
Official Result: Becky Lynch
Ric Flair gets weirder by the day
Rating: *

The Miz is here, looking manlier than no one except Kylo Ren. His guests will be Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens tonight.

Ambrose comes out first. He grabs a mic to talk about the match, but The Miz cuts him off claiming this is his show. Ambrose says it’s not even really a match; it’s more like an amusement park. Miz raises his hand, signaling for Ambrose to shut up. Ambrose turns towards Miz and says that when his fist hits The Miz’s face, his mouth goes shut. Miz wonders if Ambrose thinks he can do this better than him. Dean says yes. Miz is sick of being interrupted and disrespected, he’s just going to sit in the corner while we all enjoy “DEANTV.” Ambrose says a Last Man Standing Match is like an amusement park. It’s not always pretty, but it’s always fun. A Carnival of pain and destruction, and he wants to take Owens on as many rides as possible. He wants to show us one. He heads to the outside. He notes the apron, and says Owens likes to use it to shorten careers, but Sunday he’ll use it on Owens. He then heads to the steps, takes a seat, and says Owen looks like a fuzzy, mean, bear. He calls the steps The Bear Trap. He only needs one paw stuck there to beat his ass down. He then heads towards the announce table, and calls it memory lane. It wasn’t too long ago when Owens powerbombed Dean into the table. Ambrose cannot wait to get his hands on Owens this Sunday. He’s bringing things full circle by putting Owens through the table.

Kevin Owens’ music hits. He’s out at the top of the ramp, and doesn’t seem too impressed. He says it looks like Dean’s put a lot of thought into the whole amusement park thing, but it means nothing to him – he’s more of a zoo enthusiast himself. Ambrose may be insane, but Owens is obsessed. That title is his, and on Sunday he’ll stop at nothing to get it back. Dean’s insanity may help him to get back up, but Owen’s obsession will help him to keep knocking his ass down. When the fight ends on Sunday, Dean will be unconcious and Owens will be standing over him champion.

Dean says there’s no reason to wait, and they can do it right here on DEAN TV. Ambrose gets ready to fight, then gets cheap shotted by The Miz!!! Miz hits the ropes. Kick to Ambrose in the head! Miz eyes Owens. He signals Owens to come on down. Miz stomps Dean a few times as Owens enters the ring. Owens stares down Dean. Miz is smiling. Owens attacks Miz!! He sends Miz into the ropes. POPUP POWERBOMB!

Owens turns to Dean. Byron is confused. Byron is an idiot.

Owens sends Dean into the ropes, but Dean with a Thesz Press! He goes for Dirty Deeds, but Owens escapes and heads out of the ring. Ambrose sees Miz, grabs him. Dirty Deeds to Miz! Ambrose starts a ten count.

The Wyatt Family is hotboxing somewhere backstage. Bray, the highest of the four, announces their arrival.

Match 3: Ryback vs Bray Wyatt
Lockup, but Bray hits a right. Ryback no sells it. FEED ME MORE chant cuz why the fuck not. Bray goes for a kick, but Ryback catches it. He hits the ropes, ducks a right, hits the ropes. Cross body from Ryback! He hits some rights then a shoulder tackle. Ryback runs but gets hit with an uppercut! Headbutt from Wyatt. The Family cheers him on as only they can. Thesz Press from Ryback, into some head slams. He lifts Bray up, gets shoved, and Wyatt heads to the outside. Ryback heads to the outside so Wyatt sends him into the apron then drops him on it again.

Back after a break, and Wyatt hits a clothesline in the corner to the prone Ryback. He stands on the 2nd rope to gloat, so Ryback powerbombs him. Ryback with a knee in the corner. Kick and a splash by Ryback, Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Ryback is faovring his back. He heads to the top rope. Wyatt is hella far. Ryback with a Frog Splash, but Wyatt moves!!! Uranage from Wyatt! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Bray looks to spider walk. Ryback is up. Spinebuster! Pin for 1..2…NO! He’s calling for the Meathook. Ryback hits it! Ryback sets up for Shellshock, but Harper gets on the apron to distract. Ryback gets pulled out of the ring.

Strowman sends Ryback knees first into the steps, thrn shoves him back in the ring. Sister Abigail from Wyatt! Pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Bray Wyatt
Good stuff
Rating: **1/2

Bray cuts a mini promo after the match, basically saying the apocalypse is here…

Match 4: Titus O’Neil vs Stardust V 43323334.3
Stardust starts the match by leaving the ring. He hops back in and ducks a right hand. He nearly escapes another, but Titus grabs him and chops him in the corner. One more time. Titus grabs Cody’s head and tosses him across the ring. Cody goes for a kick, but Titus grabs the leg and chops Cody down. Cody to the outside. Titus follows. Cody shoves him into the ringpost. Cody heads back in the ring and urges the ref to count. Titus is up at 3 but Cody kicks him back down. Cody goes to the outside then sends Titus into the barricade hard. He sends Titus back in the ring and locks in a chinlock. Titus powers out and hits an elbow to the gut. Shoulder tackle sends Cody down. Right hand from Titus. Another. Clothesline. Whip to the ropes, and Cody hits a kick.Titus barks in the corner. Splash in the corner. DDT from Cody! Pin for 1…2..NO! Cody heads to the top rope.

Titus kicks the rope and Cody is crotched! Titus grabs Cody by the neck and turns with Clash of the Titus. That looked bad ass.
Official Result: Titus O’Neil
Bad ass looking finish.
Rating: *

Backstage, Kalisto is going over his script with a stagehand. I have no clue why this was shown.

Renee Young is here lookin all cute. She asks Kalisto about his rematch on Sunday. Is he mentally prepared? Kalisto says in Mexico, Del Rio is up there in the likes of Mil Mascaras, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero. He’s acoomplished so much, and he’s someone to look up to. He’s bigger, stronger. But he’s been David his entire life, and he’s used to fighting goliaths. He’s beaten Del Rio twice, and this Sunday, he’ll beat him one more time…

Del Rio is here! He says Kalisto’s victories were flukes, and as far as the title is concerned, he’s nothing but a little mosquito. Rusev appears behind Kalisto. Sheamus and Barrett are here too! They fuck Kalisto up like a schoolyard fight. Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick to send the man down, then says Reigns is next.

Reigns is out with the mic. He says he had no clue he was going to be made #1. His sarcasm does not go unnoticed. He says that Vince is trying to stack the odds, weekly, but Reigns still thinks that he’s walking out as champ. People think he’s crazy, but he’s not he just believes in the big fight, and the Rumble is the BIGGEST fight. Tonight it’s One vs The League of Nations.

Match 5: Roman Reigns vs The League of Nations
Reigns and Sheamus to start. Sheamus with a headlock but Reigns tosses Sheamus into the corner. Rusev with a tag. Rusev tries to pull Reigns but he gets a shoulder tackle for his trouble. Rusev runs, and Reigns holds the ropes down. Rusev tumbles down. Reigns on the outside. He drives Rusev into the barricade. Rusev runs into the ring, tries for a tag, bu Reigns sends him in the corner. Sheamus is in but Reighns drops him! Del Rio tries and Reigns takes care of him. This distraction allows Rusev to get the upperhand. Fallaway Slam to Reigns. Pin for 1..2.NO! Tag to Sheamus. Sheamus with a suplex in the center of the ring. Cover for 1..2..NO! Sheamus tags in Rusev. Rusev with a kick. Headbutt. Stomps to the back. Rusev tells Reigns to tag out. haha. Silly Rusev. He chokes up Reigns on thr bottom rope then distracts the ref so Del Rio can attack. Tag to Sheamus. Sheamus with a stomp, another. One more. Sheamus turns Reigns and drops an elbow on the small of his back. Chin lock from behind. Reigns tries to fight out, does so, and gets whippd into the corner for his trouble. Shoulder into the gut. Reigns fires out with a clothesline! Both men are down. The ref starts the count. Sheamus up at 7. Tag to Rusev, who rushes in and eats turnbuckle. Clothesline from Reigns. Another. He sends Rusev in the corner and gets ten more clotheslines! Reigns hits the ropes. Leaping clothesline! Reigns cocks it. He’s about to punch, but Del Rio and Barrett grab his legs! They hold him down as Sheamus runs in and stomps Barrett, gaining a DQ.

Official Result: Roman Reigns via DQ

Rating: **

The League of Nations continue the beatdown, Rusev hits a Superkick! Rusev is about to lock in The Accolade, but The Usos are here! They run down and attack Rusev and Sheamus. Del Rio and Barrett help, and the beatdown is coming. Superkick to one Uso! Brogue Kick to the other! Reigns is up! SUPERMAN PUNCH TO RUSEV!!! SPEAR TO SHEAMUS!!!

The lights go out!

The Wyatts are here! They circle the ring. Reigns attacks the big one first, then hits Rowan, and finally Harper. He sends Harper outside, then Rowan over the ropes. Braun enters, and Reigns looks bothered. He hits a right hand, another, hits the ropes, and runs into a hold. Braun sends Reigns to the outside, but Reigns lands on his feet. SUPERKICK from HARPER!! Reigns still standing! SPINNING HEEL KICK from ROWAN! They send Reigns back in the ring while Wyatt whispers something into Braun’s ear. Braun lifts Reigns up and hits his finisher.

They’re not done. Rowan and Braun lift up Reigns. Wyatt grabs his head. Sister Abigail!

SEE YOU SUNDAY!!!

article topics :

Smackdown, WWE, Tony Acero