411’s WWE Smackdown Report: 10.28.05

FILLER SHOW!!!

Or maybe they’ll throw us a curveball. Let’s see.

The video package recaps the Raw-Smackdown feud. Oh yeah, they can build that up. For a few guys, anyway.

We start off with the Peep Show. Christian’s angry, but he doesn’t get to say much, as Rey Mysterio’s music hits. Rey jumps out of the stage and heads down to the ring. Rey’s not satisfied, even after his attack on Monday. He’ll only be satisfied after he gets voted into the Taboo Tuesday match. Christian accuses Rey of “talking tough,” as the Raw guys are in Australia. He then begins to encourage the fans to vote for him, but Matt Hardy interrupts. Hardy hopes it’s him and Rey at the PPV, but he pretty much just wants Edge. He says the net fans brought him back, and they’ll vote him into the match. Hardcore Holly heads out (by the way, the segment when Edge and Masters made fun of the SD! guys on Raw was pretty funny- but it would’ve been even better if when Holly’s picture came up, they just shrugged and asked “Who’s that?”). He brags about having run off Masters last week, and asks the people in the arena- specifically not the people on the internet- how badly they want Masters and Edge beat. Christian interrupts, saying he’ll do the beating. But no, Holly promises a hardcore beating. This draws out JBL, who tells the fans to vote for none of the above (Brewster for Mayor!). He makes fun of the others while simultaneously pimping his new financial show. Christian tries to reclaim control of his show, but Teddy Long interrupts. Long makes a match between all five men after the break.

JBL versus Christian versus Matt Hardy versus Rey Mysterio versus Hardcore Holly

The match is going on as we get back, with four men beating on JBL. Hardy and Rey turn their attention to Christian, as Holly and Bradshaw brawl outside the ring. Double whip to the corner on Christian, and Rey gets Air Sabu. Hardy covers for two, but Rey breaks. Rey and Matt punch away on Christian as JBL whips Holly into the steel steps. Rey gets corner punches on Christian, then gets attacked by JBL. Bradshaw goes for a Powerbomb, but Rey reverses into a hurricanrana that sends both men out. Holly and Christian go back in, and Holly gets CHOPS and a suplex. Christian rolls out, Hardy gets in, slam, elbow drop on Holly for two. Hardy gets the Side Effect, then punches JBL in the corner. Bradshaw gets an eye poke, then tosses Matt out. He hits Rey, then trades blows with Holly. Bradshaw takes the advantage, but Holly gets the dropkick for two. Holly gets a double clothesline on Rey and Matt, and Christian hits him with the Reverse DDT for two. Christian goes up top, but all four other men hit a double superplex/powerbomb combo. Nice. JBL is up first, and he sets Holly up for a Powerbomb. Holly reverses into the Alabama Slam, and all the guys are down. Rey covers Bradshaw, Hardy covers Christian, and both kick out at two. Christian tosses Hardy out of the ring, then gets sent to 619 position with a sweet headscissors. Christian takes the 619, Holly takes the Clothesline from Hell, Rey takes the Last Call, JBL takes the Twist of Fate, Hardy takes the Unprettier. Rey then misses a quebrada, but gets a hurricanrana on Christian for the win.

Winner: Rey Mysterio
Match Time: 6:41
Rating: ***
Commentary: A high-energy opener, though I expected it to be longer. Pretty smart booking, as Rey’s a lock to get in, and if Hardy’s the other guy, they showed some good teamwork in here.

Backstage, Booker T and Sharmell are headed into Teddy Long’s office. They speculate as to what he could want, then enter.

Teddy Long wants to show Booker footage of Sharmell’s interference, but she interrupts. Booker speaks out in favor of Long, and the clips of the U.S. Title match are shown. Sharmell makes excuses, but Booker seems pretty upset. He asks Sharmell if she thinks he couldn’t get the job done on her own. Booker says he’s giving Benoit a rematch, and Sharmell is going to apologize.

Roddy Piper shakes hands with Paul London, Spanky, and Funaki backstage, then gets face to face with Cowboy Bob. Orton promises revenge for being in Piper’s shadow. Piper goes on to insult the Ortons, but Randy interrupts and threatens burnings. Piper is not deterred, however, and continues to talk about how the Ortons are getting dumber and dumber.

Simon Dean is backstage on the Dean Machine when a midget stops him. The new rule is no motorized vehicles. The fine: one dollar. Dean insults him while two other midgets tie a rope to the Machine. He drives away, and falls over… off screen.

A promo airs for The Undertaker. It ends with the word “DEAD”… then a question mark!

Palmer Canon is in the ring, and he introduces the juniors. The guy who stopped Simon Dean heads out.

Short Sleeve Sampson versus Pitbull Patterson

So they all have 1930s boxer names? Patterson brings a bucket out, and ends up dumping confetti on the audience. Sampson jumps him, then pulls another bucket out of the ring. Patterson jumps into Canon’s lap, then spills water out of the bucket (which Sampson and Canon dodge). Patterson puts the bucket on Sampson’s head, then slams him into the apron. Patterson rolls Sampson into the ring, and the match starts. Patterson hooks Sampson up in the ropes (a la Shattered Dreams), then keeps doing it after Patrick undoes it. He finally hits the Shattered Dreams. Sampson gets a schoolboy for two. Patterson hits a clothesline, then a double axe handle from the top. Sampson gets a dropkick, then takes a kick in the face. Patterson throws Sampson to the corner, but Sampson reverses a whip. Patterson gets behind Nick Patrick for protection, then crawls out from between his legs. Sampson throws a dropkick, hitting Patrick in the nether regions. He then springs off a prone Patrick onto Patterson for the three count. Post match, Simon Dean runs in and steps on Patterson. He lifts Sampson up in the air, but Patterson trips him up and the midgets go to town on Dean, eventually hitting a double dropkick.

Winner: Short Sleeve Sampson
Match Time: 2:28
Rating: *1/2
Commentary: Well, it’s everything we expected. At least it wasted less time than last week’s Hardcore Match.

Backstage, Sharmell tries to reason with Booker, but no dice.

Booker T and Sharmell head out to the ring. Booker says he can’t win a championship the way he did, so he wants Benoit to head out for an apology. Benoit complies, heading out with his ribs taped up. Booker says Benoit is one of his best friends, then offers a rematch. He asks the fans if they want it, and they’re definitely game. Booker doesn’t want Benoit to answer him yet- he wants Sharmell to apologize first. Benoit accepts, though- and he doesn’t need any apologies. Booker says Sharmell has to, though. She apologizes for putting herself on the line, and for making Booker more of a man. She finally apologizes for marrying someone with no respect for her, then slaps Booker and leaves. She then apologizes from the apron for “this-” a surprise attack from Booker! Booker hits Benoit with the title, busting him open. He then beats the hell out of him with a series of fists. Booker goes after the injured ribs, then suplexes Benoit onto the ropes. He kicks Benoit off the apron, and the Crippler smacks into the announcers’ table once more. Sharmell runs back into the ring and she and Booker celebrate. Sharmell goes to the corner as we get an evil Spin-A-Roonie. Michael Cole did mention that Booker was the puppetmaster and Sharmell was the puppet, which I think is an important way to set it up. I’m tired of storylines where wrestlers get easily manipulated by non-wrestlers. That segment pretty much makes the show.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Legion of Doom © versus MNM versus Regal and Burchill versus The Mexicools (Psychosis and Super Crazy)

Come on, title change, baby. Heidenreich and Nitro start off, which Nitro getting some early brawling. Heidenreich turns the tide with a big boot, but Nitro gets a kick and tags Mercury. Heidenreich slams both men to the floor, then tags Animal. Animal beats on Mercury against the ropes, then suplexes both M and N over. Psychosis gets a blind tag on Animal, then gets a wristlock on Mercury. Mercury escapes and tags a swing at Crazy, who pokes him in the eye. Psychosis takes Mercury down and tags Super Crazy, who comes in with a moonsault on Mercury. Nitro and Burchill break the cover, and everybody runs in as we go to commercial. Psychosis takes out MNM with a corkscrew plancha as we get back from the break. He gets two on Mercury in the ring. Tag to Nitro, who takes a dropkick for two. Tag to Crazy, and the Mexicools get the rolling leg slam. Nitro gets a shoulder on Crazy off the ropes, then takes a dropkick for two. Crazy flings Nitro across the ring, then gets an atomic drop. Regal tags Nitro, then Burchill, who gets a Fisherman’s Buster on crazy for two. European uppercut, tag back to Regal. Regal gets knee strikes and punches, then a butterfly suplex for two. Tag back to Burchill, who gets a headbutt and a short arm clothesline for two. Burchill gets a backdrop for another two, then puts on a Cobra Clutch. Crazy elbows his way out, but Burchill clotheslines him down. Burchill applies a front facelock, but breaks it to knock Psychosis off the apron. Crazy gets a Jawjacker, then gets tagged by Heidenreich. Heidenreich takes down all the heels, and the LOD work Regal and Burchill over. Heidenreich gets a side suplex on Burchill for two, then goes up top for the Doomsday Device. The Tolands knock Animal down, then pull him out and beat him up. Meanwhile, Mercury tags in. MNM get the Snapshot on Heidenreich, then make the pin.

Winners: MNM
Match Time: 10:45 (including commercial)
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: Decent match, and the result was top notch. Now, let’s keep the belts where they are for a while.

Backstage, the Velocity Tag Team Champions (Vito and Nunzio) want a shot at the WWE belts. Instead, they get a handicap match against Bobby Lashley. Teddy Long turns to leave, but when he opens the door, the Boogeyman is there. Generic scary stuff, and he smashes another clock on his head.

Backstage, Batista thanks Eddie for his help last week. Eddie then talks about when he won the WWE Title at the same venue. Batista has a surprise for Eddie. He makes him close his eyes, then takes him over to a swanky green low-rider. Eddie is very appreciative, and he demands that Batista ride out with him.

Randy Orton, Bob Orton, and Ken Kennedy versus Eddie Guerrero, Batista, and Roddy Piper

Kennedy does his own introductions, of course. The gimmick would be 300% funnier if he started doing it for his opponents, as well. Eddie and Batista head out to Eddie’s old music. One of his old musics, anyhow. Eddie and Kennedy start off with punches traded. Eddie takes the advantage with a back elbow, then gets a powerslam and a slingshot senton. Tag to Batista, who wants Randy Orton. Kennedy complies, and more punches are traded. If promoted right, this could make a decent WM22 main event- if the Lesnar thing doesn’t pan out. Batista gets a spear, then goes for the Batista Bomb, but Orton dives down and out of the ring. And then, we go to a commercial. When we come back, Randy Orton whips Eddie to the corner and catches him with a powerslam. Eddie gets a headscissors, then tags Piper. Piper punches away on Orton in the corner, then gets a snapmare and a kneedrop for two. Orton pushes Piper to the ropes, and Cowboy Bob gets a knee. Randy bends him back against the rope, then tags Cowboy Bob. Bob punches Piper in the face, then pulls him away from the face corner. Bob stomps Piper’s gut, then tags Kennedy… Kennedy. Kennedy punches Piper, then chokes him before covering for two. Snapmare into a chinlock, then a head twist. Piper get to his feet, but Kennedy slugs him down and tags Randy Orton. Orton cuts Piper off from the tag, then gets a front facelock. Tag to Bob, who gets a couple of Bionic Elbows before grabbing a front facelock of his own. Bob punches Piper down, then takes shots at Eddie and Batista. Bad idea, as they charge the ring and all hell breaks loose. Batista gets a spinebuster on Randy, then one on Kennedy. Eddie goes up top and gets the Frog Splash on Kennedy. Piper grabs the Sleeper on Bob Orton, and the hand goes down thrice.

Winners: Eddie Guerrero, Batista, and Roddy Piper
Match Time: 10:25 (including commercial)
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Not much happening, but the Randy/Batista dynamic was interesting to see, as it’ll probably be Smackdown’s next big feud.

That’s the show. Not much wrestling, but that makes it easier for me to recap, anyway. Blew Raw out of the water.