411’s WWE Smackdown Report 2.08.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlynn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Kane & Daniel Bryan
WWE Smackdown Report 2.08.13
– Big Show arrives in his RV. He asks the driver if there’s a single pothole that he missed as he steps out of the RV. He makes his way into the arena.
– They did a remix of the Smackdown theme. There’s some rapping added to the beginning. Meh.
– Big Show heads down to the ring with a microphone. He gets that we don’t like him. He says that he was unjustly forced to defend his World Heavyweight Championship at the Rumble in a Last Man Standing match that he didn’t even have time to prepare for. He takes us back to Monday where Alberto broke into his hotel room. He says that if Alberto is on the good side, the crowd cheers and he can get away with anything. There’s nothing better than a heel who is justified in what he’s saying. Big Show says that he has a rematch clause in his contract. That means that at Elimination Chamber, the title is coming back where it belongs. According to Show, Booker T is jealous of his ability, accomplishment, wealth, and that he’s still in an in-ring competitor while Booker T is a sad man behind a desk pushing a pencil. CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKA? Booker T steps out on to the ramp and says that Big Show already used up his rematch at the Rumble. Booker says that he doesn’t like bullies and he’s sick of Big Show bullying Ricardo. Big Show says that he knows Booker gave Alberto his hotel information. Big Show says that the only way Booker T can stay relevant is by trying to take down Big Show’s career. Book says that he treats everybody equal. Case in point – Alberto Del Rio is suspended and not allowed inside the arena tonight. Big Show however, will be wrestling Kane. Decent segment. Big Show is the best heel in the company right now and Booker T is doing a good job with his GM role. I wonder who’s going to be the one to get Booker back in the ring? They sure do tease it a lot.
– In a pretape, Cody re-establishes that The Rhodes Scholars are dissolved but they are still best friends. Cody will flourish as a singles competitor and Kofi will not stand in his way.
Here we go! Cody whips Kofi into the ropes. Kofi ducks and sends Cody to the outside. Kofi fakes a dive over the top. Cody’s back in quickly and takes control. Cody goes for an ax handle off the top but gets punched in the gut. He misses two clotheslines and takes a big dropkick to the face. Kofi hits the boom drop and here we go. Trouble in Paradise? BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. Cody ducks! Kofi lands on the second turnbuckle and hits a crossbody for two. Kofi misses another kick and Rhodes ducks. He goes for Cross Rhodes but nobody is home! Kofi’s on the apron and gets hit with a huge dropkick. Cody pulls him in and hits Cross Rhodes! That was essentially an extended squash for Cody. He needed a strong televised win after having a forgettable week otherwise. As we’ve already established, Kofi is the official JTTS on the Road to Wrestlemania. It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll bounce back… Again.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Cody Rhodes @ 4:30 via pinfall
– Kane’s sitting on a bench backstage. Daniel Bryan walks up to him and apologizes for Raw. Kane accepts the apology but still wants Bryan to leave. Bryan wants to come to the ring with Kane. Kane tells him to shut his mouth. They seem to be moving Bryan into the sympathetic face role more and more each week. On the other hand, it seems as if Kane’s shedding some of the light side he’s been showing. I wonder if we’ll see them wrestle by Mania?
RAW REBOUND We get a recap of Lesnar giving McMahon an F5 at the end of Raw two weeks ago and Lesnar kicking the shit out of Miz this week. Lesnar/Miz would be a good free TV main event to show the general audience what a killing machine Brock is. You need to let the audience know how special of an attraction Brock is to maximize his buyrate potential.
– Up next is a Sammartino induction video. It’s about damn time! The 2013 class is shaping up pretty well.
Looks like they botch a sideslam right out of the gate as Khali drops him and the camera cuts to Natalya. Khali immediately goes back to what he does best and delivers some chops. More chops. Another chop. Titus ducks a chop and gets the big man down. The big chop ends it. Good psychology. The little chops don’t get the win but the big chop does. That’s some Flair/Steamboat shit. This was a waste of Titus and an awful match. Add a quarter star if you do the Khali drinking game and do a shot every time he executes or attempts a chop.
OFFICIAL RESULT: The Great Khali @ around a minute via pinfall
– HERE COMES MARK HENRY! He tosses Titus into the barricade and Khali is cautiously standing his ground. Khali starts throwing some punches but Henry corners him and hits a splash. Khali fights back with a chop! He lifts him up for the Punjabi Plunge but Henry pushes him into the corner and hits another splash. He lifts Khali up and hits the Worlds Strongest Slam.
– WE’RE BACK and Henry is still in the ring. He says that the Hall of Pain is now open! He asks if anybody has any questions. Nobody does obvs. Henry shoots us to the footage of his Raw return on the tron. Henry wants in that chamber. He says that Booker made a mistake by not calling the strongest man that ever lived. Mark’s tired of being looked over and he needs an explanation. He can’t wrap his brain around this. He’s calling out Book! Booker T says that Henry can’t just come back and beat a bunch of people up to get his spot in the chamber. It doesn’t work like that. Mark Henry says that it doesn’t look like there’s room in the chamber for him. If Booker doesn’t make room, Henry is going to have to make room for himself. Oh shit, he’s going to build a fifth pod? Booker T says that Henry’s been out for nine months and he has to prove that he can still go. If he wants in the chamber, he has to beat Randy Orton in singles action tonight! This was a pretty good segment. They’re doing a great job reintroducing Mark Henry.
– Big Show’s extremely upset about the temperature of his RV and his steak. He’s yelling at his assistant that doubles as an RV driver. He says that the toilet is clogged again too. Big Show walks into the arena and Alberto steps out from behind the shadows! He’s not breaking his suspension if he’s not in the arena! Alberto, Alberto… Always one step ahead.
Clubbering, clubbering, and more clubbering. Big Show rolls to the outside and Kane follows him. POSSUM! Big Show pushes Kane into the ring steps. Kane rolls in to the ring but Big Show grabs him by the foot before he can get out of arms reach. Show’s workin’ dat knee. SPEAR~!
Smackdown continues! Big Show goes upstairs and misses a Vader Bomb! Kane makes it to his feet first and here comes the clubbering. BOO. YEAH. BOO. YEAH. That’s just me saying that. The crowd was pretty dead. They both lock each other in for the chokeslam and the crowd comes alive. Kane kicks Show in the gut and delivers the DDT. One, two, NO! Big Show makes it to his feet and gives Kane a KO punch for three. That was a decent big man match.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Big Show @ 3:50 aired via pinfall
– Big Show heads outside to his RV and all of the wheels are missing. The RV is resting on cider blocks. Big Show screams “How is this even possible!?” Orange paint falls on Big Show. The camera pans out to show Alberto standing on the RV holding a bucket of orange paint overhead. Alberto drives away. Before he leaves, he lets Big Show know that he has a tire guy if Big Show needs a good deal on tires.
I smell squash cooking. Swagger pounces and corners him. SHOULDER THRUSTS! Gabriel gets a roll up and Swagger clotheslines his head off of his shoulders. Will Swagger join Mysterio, Orton, and Bryan in the chamber? Well Gabriel sure as hell isn’t. Swagger hits the Vader Bomb! They battle to the outside and Gabriel goes for a moonsault off of the apron! Swagger grabs his foot and yanks it, sending Gabez face first into the apron! That looked painful. Gabriel is grabbing his knee as Swagger rolls him in. He delivers a chop block to Justin Gabriel and locks in the Patriot Act. Timer’s going off and the squash is done cooking. Swagger continues to look impressive in his return.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Jack Swagger @ 1:53 via pinfall
– A Fandango vignette airs. I don’t think a gimmick like this is going to get over in 2013 (or any other year ever) but I’d love to be proven wrong.
McIntyre and Tensai circle each other to start. McIntye hits a huge boot and goes for a quick cover. TWO. 3MB BAYBAY! Tensai’s pissed! He corners Drew and delivers a dozen headbutts. Mahal and Slater are in and we have a DQ. Here comes Brodus! 3MB gets tossed out. Brodus and the Funkadactyls convince Tensai to give us a post match dance. THE SHOVEL~! Well, at least he’s going to have work for awhile now. And at least I get to see him do the shovel. VIVA LA SHOVEL~!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Tensai @ 00:40 via DQ
Well this should be interesting. Sin Cara ducks a clothesline and hits an arm drag. He doesn’t release the wrist lock and goes for a walking rana off the top rope but Cesaro reverses. He hits a nice gut wrench and a boot stomp. A knee to the mid-section from Cesaro leaves Sin Cara grabbing his side in pain. Cesaro locks in a side headlock but Sin Cara escapes! He hits an AWESOME sunset flip powerbomb! He goes upstairs and Cesaro hits the uppercut! Neutralizer! It’s over! I think that’s about as good of a three minute match that we can possibly get. These two have great chemistry. Main Event rematch please?
OFFICIAL RESULT: Antonio Cesaro @ 3:00 via pinfall
– Matt Striker is backstage with Orton and he asks him about Mark Henry. Orton says that Henry comes back and jumps a bunch of guys to get in the Elimination Chamber? It’s a good plan but tonight he hits a road block. That road block is Orton (ohhh). He’s going to have to be the World’s Luckiest Man if he wants to beat Orton tonight.
– Miz is backstage with Striker and says that looking in the eye of the beast that is Brock Lesnar is unlike anything he’s ever experienced. Cesaro interrupts and tells Miz to stop sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. Miz says that maybe Antonio is right. Miz says that he’s going to stick his nose where it does belong though and throws a punch at Cesaro. The two brawl until they’re broken up by officials.
RAW REBOUND 2: We get a recap of the main event segment on Raw with The Shield. They show us exclusive WWE footage from after Raw. Cena tells Shield that they have a fight coming at Elimination Chamber on February 17th when they wrestle Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus in a six man tag. I’m hoping they make their six man tag an Elimination Chamber match instead. It would make sense and it’d finally take care of the numbers situation that they’ve been writing the entire angle around.
– Randy Orton and Mark Henry are both walking to the ring! Tell all of your friends that these guys are walking down the hallways like they don’t care!
It sure is nice to be writing Mark Henry’s name in a match title. A main event match title no less. Lock up to start! Orton backs into a corner and ducks a clothesline. He delivers jabs to the face and Henry hits an elbow to get Orton off him! He lifts Orton up and delivers a stiff knee to the chest. He tosses Orton to the outside and delivers a CLUBBERING blow to the back. He lifts Orton up and tried to launch him face first into the ring post but Orton slips off and sends Henry into the ring post instead! Orton rolls in and the ref gets to four before Henry gets in as well. Orton goes upstairs but Henry punches him in the face and knocks him to the floor! Henry rolls him in and gets TWO! Henry stands on Orton’s chest for four seconds. He grabs a trap lock and Orton fights to his feet. Orton elbows out but Henry stops his momentum with a head butt. Orton hits a clothesline! Henry rolls to the apron and Orton hits the second rope DDT! Orton’s lucky that all of his opponents roll to the apron considering that’s his move and al. Orton goes for an RKO but Henry counters! He pushes him into the corner and hits a huge splash! Worlds Strongest Slam! It’s over! The match was good but they can do better. As long as Orton is still turning heel, these losses mean nothing long term to him.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Mark Henry @ 7:30 via pinfall
OVERALL: Smackdown was really good this week. They’re doing a great job building up to the Elimination Chamber and giving every participant a unique and entertaining path to the match. That’s more than you can say for most chamber builds. The wrestling wasn’t great but the card had a little bit of everything. Oh yeah, and Mark Henry is back! THUMBS UP!