411’s WWE Smackdown Report 5.03.13
Another Friday night, another Smackdown recap from this guy. The Daniel Bryan vs Ryback match is getting plenty of praise and I’m all for Ambrose main eventing again. Lets see if tonight’s episode delivers!
WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
US Champion: Kofi Kingston
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane
Then. Now. FOREVER!
– Ryback says that on Raw, he knew John Cena was hurt so therefore he couldn’t tag with him. Cena chose to wrestle, Cena chose to put himself at risk, and ultimately that’s not Ryback’s fault. The bigger, stronger, and faster always eat the weak. Ryback Rules. This was another solid promo from Ryback. I’m not sure about his “Ryback Rules” catchphrase but that’s just nitpicking.
We’re back. Cole says that Ryback has dominated over the break. Ryback grabs Bryan BY THE BEARD and just tosses him like a rag doll. Bryan’s on the apron and Ryback is delivering punches. Ryback hits the ropes and charges at Bryan! Bryan counters with a shoulder thrust but can’t take control. Ryback beats him senseless, slamming his head on the mat multiple times before locking him in the corner and delivering some stiff looking punches to the face. Ryback steps back and charges at him but Bryan gets his foot up. Ryback hits a pretty impressive powerslam and covers him for two! Bryan counters a charge from Ryback into a Thesz press and floats over for a single leg Boston Crab on the leg he’s been working over. Great stuff. Ryback makes it to the ropes and Bryan corners him and delivers two huge dropkicks to the face before going right back to work on the hamstring. He locks Ryback’s leg in the ropes and gives it some running kicks. He goes upstairs and hits a huge dropkick! TWO! Ryback is on his knees and Bryan kicks him in the face! Ryback catches the leg and attempts a powerbomb over the top! Bryan reverses that into a rana to the outside. Bryan gets on the apron and jumps at Ryback but he gets caught! Ryback sends him spine first into the ring post. He rolls Bryan in and dead lifts him up for a powerbomb! He does it again! Ryback sets up for the meat hook clothesline and delivers it. FINISH. IT. SHELL SHOCKED. It’s over. This was a great match. They told a great story and worked the “big man vs. little man” match perfectly. The best part is that Ryback legitimately held his own in there, hitting impressive maneuvers and selling the beaten up hamstring like a pro. I could have watched another ten minutes of this.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Ryback @ 12:12 aired via pinfall
– We get a replay of the highlights from the triple threat on Raw. Ricardo went over Zeb Colter and Big E Langston. I thought this was a REALLY fun match and agree with fellow 411’er Nick Marsico with the ** rating.
– Ricardo cuts a promo in Spanish backstage and then kisses Renee Young. Alberto steps onto the scene and calms down Ricardo.
– FAN… DAN… GOOOOOOOOO up next.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Fandango @ 3:05 pinfall
– Backstage, Kaitlyn gets a cheesy love text and reads it to Natalya (who is holding Khali’s arm). Kaitlyn says that Khali always has the best advice. He says some shit to Kaitlyn that I can’t understand. I do hear him say “Any advice you need, get it from me. Don’t stress too much”. I’m legitimately just happy to see an actual episodic storyline being given to a diva.
– They recap John Cena’s appearance on Hoda and Kathy Lee for the Make a Wish Foundation followed by the segment on Raw. Man, WWE needs to stop tooting their own horn so much. It makes all of the great things they do seem like a cheap ploy for publicity when they shove it in our faces like this. Nobody sucks their own dick as much Vince McMahon.
– Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger join Renee Young backstage. Colter says that WWE alters things to better their own personal agenda. On Raw, he had a 102 degree temperature and vertigo but still went to work. People on Twitter said that Zeb’s performance on Monday was one of the single most inspiring moments that they had ever seen. Some people call him a role model. His victory was awarded to an illegal immigrant that has no place in our country. He could go to the police but he’s not going to. He’s going take care of this himself. We the people!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Ricardo Rodriguez @ 1:53 via DQ
– Teddy Long makes his way out to the ramp and… well shit, you know the drill. Ziggler says, “Classic Teddy! Coming out and booking a tag match.” At least they acknowledge their repetitive booking.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Double DQ @ 0:50 aired via DQ
– Out comes Teddy to book a triple threat tag team match. I can’t tell if they’re taking a piss on their own booking or not. I’m not saying this isn’t entertaining, but this kind of seems like they’re making fun of themselves.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio @ 6:26 aired via submission
– We get another Shield interview from backstage. They beat the hell out of Daniel Bryan while calling out Kane. They took his brother down and Kane is next. Kane doesn’t believe them. By the end of the night, Kane will believe in The Shield. They turn around and beat up Bryan a bit more before walking away.
RAW REBOUND This is why you’re all reading right? You want to know what happened on Raw? LOL JK. Heyman challenges Trips on behalf of Lesnar two weeks ago. Triple H comes out and pedigrees Heyman on Raw a week later. Triple H looks like such a threat when he pedigrees overweight men a decade older than him, AMIRITE?
– Backstage the refs and a trainer are checking on Bryan. His shirt is ripped and he’s holding his stomach. The refs carry him off out of the locker room.
We’re back as Orton delivers a nice suplex to Sandow. Sandow hits Orton with a DDT and only gets two during a quick comeback. He hits Orton with his signature leg sweep followed by two Elbow of Disdains. They lock up and Orton comes out on top with a headbutt and an uppercut. Sandow says “fuck selling that shit” and hits the ropes before hitting a pretty dropkick for TWO! Orton fights back and Sandow rolls to the outside. ORTON WITH A DDT OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE. RKO! It’s over! This isn’t even comparable to the match Orton had with Cody Rhodes on Raw. It was essentially an elongated squash. Sandow never looked like a threat but it’s not that big of a deal. Rhodes is either higher on the totem pole with management or got a longer match solely because Raw is longer.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 6:43 aired via pinfall
THE OFFICIAL RAW REBOUND: Despite all of the replays, this is *technically* the Raw Rebound. Lets see some more Shield action. If they keep airing this shit so much, I’m afraid people are going to turn on it. I love The Shield, but they’re on the verge of becoming over-saturated.
– Sheamus and Henry have an arm wrestling contest. His theme hits as he exclaims that’s what he does. Sheamus challenges Henry to a right arm battle and Henry wins. Sheamus follows up by challenging Henry to a left arm wrestling contest. Sheamus comes out on top by cheap shotting Henry. This wasn’t a great segment. Henry has gone from strong as fuck to looking like a loser in the matter of weeks due to the booking of this feud. Sheamus is making him look like a fool. I want to see Henry be a killing machine!
– We get a recap of Paul Heyman challenging Triple H to a steel cage match for Lesnar. Am I the only one who doesn’t want to see this match a third time? I didn’t want to see it a second time and a cage is just going to limit what they’re going to do. I’m expecting a bigger letdown than Mania. If I’m wrong, I’ll probably enjoy the match a fuck load due to low expectations. I don’t see that happening though.
– Big Show comes out and verbalizes that Randy Orton says he isn’t a team player and doesn’t care about his teammates. Sandow attacks Orton while he’s distracted by Show. Big Show should be the face in this feud considering his plethora of valid points.
We’re back as Dean Ambrose is in complete control. They show us a WWE App exclusive which is ridiculous if they’re showing it on air. Not so exclusive. Ambrose is beating the hell out of Kane in the corner. It’s so refreshing to see somebody get this kind of offense on Kane. Ambrose goes to the top rope, but Kane sends him down to the mat. Kane hits a sidewalk slam! Ambrose covers for two! Kane hits a top rope clothesline for another two! Ambrose takes a chokeslam! Kane sets up for the tombstone but Rollins distracts Kane! They brawl on the outside and Kane sends Rollins into the stairs. Ambrose takes Kane out with the Bulldog Driver for the win! There was nothing special about the match, but it’s nice to see Ambrose come out on top again. BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Dean Ambrose @ 7:37 aired via pinfall
OVERALL This was another solid Smackdown and I’m starting to enjoy the B show far more than the A show. The matches weren’t very good but I really appreciate the way they’re building up some of these programs. The booking of the World Heavyweight Championship picture was entertaining, despite the matches not being all that great. Go out of your way to see D-Bry vs. Ryback! Thank you for reading.