411’s WWE Smackdown Report 7.9.15

Guess who’s heeeerrreee!!!

Coverage will be slightly delayed for a few segments, but I’ll catch up eventually…promise.

Show starts with a recap, saving me roughly five minutes! We get Brock going Smash, and end up with Seth starting the show proper.

Seth says that he is more of a man than any of us will ever be because he did the unthinkable; he called out Brock Lesnar. He gave Brock every chance to prove to the world what he thinks he is, but instead he only proved that he is a coward. Instead of facing Seth, he took his frustration out on a car. When J&J tried to help, they faced severe injury. It’s not the car that bothers him, $56,000 is pocket change to Seth. This was a gift that he gave to his family. Brock Lesnar messed with his family, so at Battleground, not only is he going to slay the Beast, he is going to humiliate Brock.

A beeping starts, and it appears that someone is towing the car from Monday into the arena. It’s completely smashed, looking way worse than we saw it last. The culprit behind the towing is Paul Heyman, and he’s here, ladies and gents! His name is Paul Heyman, and he’s here tonight to confess his sins, because – admittedly – he is the advocate for the Beast that did the damage to the car. Heyman can come out and spew a bunch of metaphors about Seth losing at Battleground, or that Seth will be suffering damage worse than the car did. Truthfully, however, is that the metaphor that applies the best is that the damage to the car pales in comparison to the damage Seth will suffer once he is taken to a place far, far worse than hell: Suplex City.

Seth wants to know why Heyman is here. Seth says that the car is a metaphor for Battleground? No, that car is a metaphor for what Brock is going to look like after what Seth does to him at Battleground. Want to talk about Seth being alone? After Battleground, Heyman is the one that will be alone, because he’ll no longer have a client to advocate for. Have they forgotten who Seth is? He is the man who destroyed The Shield. He is the man that cashed in his contract at Mania and TOOK the title from Brock, and he is the man that reunited The Authority and left Brock laying in the center of this ring. He wants to know who Paul thinks will walk out of Battleground champ.

Heyman says that the person who will leave Battleground is the one that will have his foot on Seth’s chest and the championship in the air will be…..BAH-ROOOOOCCKKK

Seth tells Heyman to shut up, cutting him off! hahaha. He has heard enough. The man who will walk out of Battleground as the champ will be Seth Rollins, biatch. (The last line here seems dubbed over, which is odd).

Oh, look, a RAW Rematch!

Bo Dallas is out after Dean, telling Dean that he needs some inspiration, and maybe a shower. Don’t worry, though, help is on the way. Bo says that last week, he inspired The Rock to strive for greatness, and look at him now – starring in a hit tv show on HBO, all thanks to Bo. If he could turn bland, unattractive people into megastars, then there’s still hope for Dean, he’s just gotta Bo-Lieve.

Match 1: Bo Dallas vs Dean Ambrose
Go behind from Dean is reversed by Bo, who does the ame. Dean breaks the hold and works the left arm. Dean twists Bo then drops Bo to the floor, holding the arm. Bo gets to the ropes, breaking the hold. Bo enters and misses a clothesline, so Dean rolls him up for 1…NO! Chop to Bo. A whip from the corner sends Bo hard into the opposite side and followed by an elbow. Dean goes for a bulldog, but Bo reverses and sends Dean into the post by the shoulder. He does so again. One more in the opposite corner. Bo smiles as Dean tumbles to the outside. Bo follows and grabs Dean up from the outside, then sends him into the barricade. Bo sends Dean back into the ring and locks the head, dragging him under the apron. On the outside, he beats on Dean’s head a bit then…pauses, and does some more with the apron. Bo heads back inside, and pushes Dean into the ropes. He bounces back and Bo hits a modified belly-to-belly. Cravat from the side and we get a break.

Back from the break, and Bo has a modified sleeper now. Dean fights out of it, turns, then gets sent into the ropes, only to fly back with a clothesline to Bo. Bo is up first, but Dean hops up like a psycho, causing a pause from Bo. Dean with the jab/chop flurry, then he hits the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and gives one of his own to the outside. Dean calls for the dive and hits one, sending Bo onto the annonuce table! Dean grabs the head of Bo and sends him back into the ring, then heads to the top rope. Bo runs up, though, and hits a belly to belly toss from the top rope! Bo locks the arm and head and drops Dean forward, then pins for 1…2…NO! Bo grabs the head of Dean and goes for the Bo-Dog, but Dean counters, sends Bo into the corner, hits an elbow, then hits a bulldog of his own! Dean sizes up Bo. Double underhook, but Bo sends Dean over his head. Ambrose holds the legs, so Bo drops and hooks Dean’s legs. Pin for 1…2..NO!

Bo is up. Dean, too. Dirty Deeds from Ambrose! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Dean Ambrose
Better than RAW, but still relatively pointless. Dean appeared to have forgotten about his shoulder.
Rating: **

We head bakstage to Seth Rollins having a chat with Big Show. Show says that with Brock taking out J&J and coming after Seth, times are tough. Seth must be overwhelmed. Seth says that no, he’s fine, and he can take Brock down by himself, but if Show wants to help, maybe…

Show says nope, that’s Seth’s mission. He’s just here to make sure Seth is focused on Ryback tonight. Seth says he’ll make an example out of Ryback, and when he’s done with Ryback, he’s going to destroy Brock Lesnar. Show says to take all Seth’s frustration out on Ryback. Show is gonna do Seth a favor; he’s going to take care of Reigns tonight.

We switch gears to RAW when Rusev and Summer Rae came out to “apologize” to Dolph and Lana.

Back to Smackdown, and Rusev is here to do some battle. He’s got his Bulgarian Bulge ready, and Summer is here to join him. Her green doesn’t match his, and that bothers me.

Match 2: Rusev vs Fandango
Rusev with the lockup and some chops. He missses a clothesline, allowing Fandango to hit a hurricanrana. Rusev misses a butt splash in the corner but hits a shoulder tackle, sending Gandango down. Rusev with a hard splash mid ring, and we notice that he’s wearing some boots. Rusev with stomps to Fandango’s chest. He drops an elbow. Hard kick to Fandango. USA chant starts and this somehow bothers Summer Rae….right.

Rusev sends Fandango down to the mat hard. Fandango crawls towards the ropes, so Rusev grabs him by the shoulders and pinches the traps. Rusev drags Fandango to the center and drops an elbow then goes back to the pinch. Fandango is out, he hits a knee. Some rights and a clothesline result in a dropkick from Fanny, then a chop in the corner. Rusev whips Fandango in the corner then runs into an elbow. Fandango with a clothesline to the back of the head from the top rope! Fandango goes to the top again, flies off, lands on his feet, but Rusev hits a superkick to the face. Rusev calls for the crush. He stomps the back of Fandango. The Accolade is locked in, and Fandango taps.

Official Result: Rusev
Squishy Squish Squish
Rating: *

Rusev refuses to break the hold till he damn well pleases. Sumer Rae enters the ring to watch. Rusev locks the hold in once again as Summer smiles. She looks over to Rusev and he deamnds she hold his hand up.

Match 3: Roman Reigns vs The Big Show
Show starts with the upperhand, sending Reigns into the corner. Reigns reverses and starts in with the rights. Show shoves Reigns off and hits a hard tacke, sending Reigns down hard. Show with the right uppercuts to Reigns mid section. Reigns tries to fight back, but Show hits abody slam. Reigns struggles with rights as the Uso ringside says he doesn’t think Reigns is in the match. Show send Reigns to the outside with a shove, then rushes forward and makes the mistake of running headfirst into the ring post. He leans down a bit, and Reigns hits the running dropkick. Reigns heads back in the ring as Show struggles near the announce table. Ref hits 8 and Show is back in. He blocks a hit then ducks and gets kicked in the chest. Reigns with another kick. One more. Clothesline from Reigns, but Show is still standing. One more. Elbows to the face by Reigns. OVer and over. Reigns hits the ropes, hard flying clothesline finally sends Show down! Reigns called for the Superman Punch!!

Bray Wyatt’s music hits!

We get a man coming down with a lantern, and Reigns squinting to make sure it’s really him. From behind, Bray Wyatt tries to sneak in the ring, but Reigns sees and hits a Superman Punch!!!

Show is here to lock the neck, calling for a chokeslam, but Reigns hits a Superman Punch! ONE MORE!! Reigns calls for the Spear, but Wyatt is here to grab the legs and pull Reigns forward, causing the DQ!
Official Result: Roman Reigns via DQ

Rating: *1/2

Afterwards, Show hits a chokeslam in the middle of the ring, leaving Reigns laid out. Wyatt heads in the ring. Wyatt acts super crazy in the corner, hits the spiderwalk towards Reigns. Sister Abigail to Reigns!

Big E coming out all smiles and clapping is….so great.

Match 4: Titus O’Neil vs Big E
Woods gets on the apron right away to distract, and Big E attacks the back. He stomps Titus in the corner a bit as Woods barks at him. hahaha. Big E with a right underhook then a huge splash in the middle of the ring. He covers for 1..2…NO! E locks the arm and looks for the abdominal stretch. He does the NEW DAY clap on the side of Titus, until Titus stops him. Big E hits a right to the chest then send Titus …nope, nevermind, Big E gets sent to the outside. He heads back in, so Titus hits a knee to the bent over E. He grabs the head of E and brings Big E in the hard way. Shoulder tackle. One more. Bodyslam to Big E! Leg drop from Titus! Titus rushes the corner with a hard splash! Bounces of the ropes, but Big E catches him and hits a belly to belly! Woods and Kofi are both on the apron now, trying to distract the ref. The ref is getting tired of it, and sends them to the back.

Big E is not too happy about this, shouting to the ref injustice! He turns, and Titus with the Clash of the Titus! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: Primetime Players

Rating: *1/2

Apparently there is a lot of buzz about 2k16. I haven’t heard it, but sure…it’s there.

Back to the showe, and we get footage of the Caddilac being crushed. Just…so…you know…I have no idea.

Randy Orton is here. We are reminded of Sheamus’s bad deeds last month, causing Orton to go away for a month and no one to notice.

Orton says that he has had more enemies than he can count but no one gets under his skin like Sheamus. Sheamus does not entertain him, and asks Milwaukee if they are entertained by Sheamus. They are indecipherable. Sheamus has got Orton’s attention, though. He is going to attempt to make Sheamus entertaining, and he’ll do it by ripping the stupid mohawk off his fat head and shoving it up his pale, white arse.

Before Orton can leave, The Ascension come out. Oh joy…I wonder if they know…do you think they know? I’m gonna tell him.

They say that this is their match time, and Orton can leave. Conor says that if he stays, Orton will fall prey to 2 hungry wolves. RKO chant starts up. Believe The Ascension when they say that they would love nothing more than ripping Orton limb from limb. They head into the ring. Conor tells Orton to leave, or be introduced to the Wastelands. Orton feigns leaving, holding his hands up then….

RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!!

He hits his DDT to the less impressive specimen, then calls for the voices in his head. He stomps the yard. RKO to Victor!

A nice break, and we get a recap of Cesaro/Owens/Cena fun.

Match 5: Brie Bella and Alicia Fox vs Naomi and Tamina
Brie to start with Naomi. Lockup and Naomi shoves Brie against the ropes. Brie shoves her back. Slap from Naomi. Lou Thesz from Brie and she hits a few eights. Naomi shoves her off then runs for an attack, but Brie chokes her up on the ropes then hits a running knee after shouting BRIE MODE. Cover for 1…2…NO! Tag to Tamina, who comes in and blocks a right hand. She hits the gut then a headbutt. Tamina rsuhes, misses a splash, and is hit with a few kicks. Brie goes up top and launches herself right into the arms of Tamina who turns and slams Brie down hard with a modified Rock Bottom. Pin for 1..2…NO!! Tamina gets Brie in the corner with some kicks then tags in Naomi, who continues the stomps in the corner. Brie is able to hit a clothesline in the middle of the ring, but Naomi grabs the boot and drops an elbow. Stomp to the back. Naomi goes for a bulldog but Briee pushes Naomi forward into the turnbuckle. Brie struggles, gets the tag. Alicia with a dropkick. Again. She pulls the hair and tosses Naomi, ducks a clothesline from Tamina and hits a right, then a high kick to Naomi in the corner. Whip to Naomi, blind tag from Tamina. Tilt a Whirl and a pin to Naomi, but Tamina is the legal woman!

Tamina attacks, gets Alicia on her shoulders. Nikki distracts, Brie is in the ring to push Taminainto Naomi who is on the apron. Scissor Kick from Alicia Fox! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: Brie Bella and Alicia Fox
Ugh
Rating: NR

Backstage, Ryback is with some dude. Some dude wants Ryback’s thoughts on his match with Rollins. Rollins brings up last week, says there is no denying his talent, but he’s a pathetic gutless challenge. A champ doesn’t run and hide, and we saw what Seth did when Brock came out. Tonight, there is no running, there is no hiding. 2 weeks ago, he told Seth what it meant to be champ, and tonight he’s going to show Seth. It’s feeding time.

Match 6: Ryback vs Seth Rollins
Lockup to start, and Ryback rightfully overpowers Seth. We get another one, this time with Seth locking in a headlock and being pushed into the ropes. Shoulder tackle sends Seth to the outside, frustrating him in the process. FEED ME MORE, says Ryback. Seth heads back into the ring. Kick to Ryback. A few knees follow. He goes for a suplex, but Seth locks the leg and sets up one for himself. He stalls, holding Seth up for a while. Ryback marches a bit, stalls for a bit more, then finally drops Seth. Clothesline sends Seth to the outside.

We’re back after a break, and Ryback is stuck on the apron. Seth tries for a suplex, but Ryback pulls him over the ropes to the apron. Seth hits a hard kick to the face, though, sending Ryback to the mat. Ryback back on the apron, but Seth hits a knee, sending him to the mat. Seth with a suicide dive to the outside!! Seth grabs Ryback and sends him into the barricade hard. Seth grabs Ryback again and tosses him into the ring. He’s feelin confident, mocking Brock’s entrance into the ring. Seth hops around like Brock does, waiting for Ryback to get up. Seth with a running elbow to Ryback, then tosses him to the mat. Seth mounts Ryback then locks a sleeper hold from behind. Ryback is able to stand out of this, grab the head, and drop on his pelvis, introducing Seth’s chin to his head. Seth is up and runs into the corner, bouncing off the turnbuckle. He hits the ropes. Ryback with the up and over. He lifts and hits a modified bomb and a cover for 1…2..NO! Ryback locks for the powerbomb but Seth hits a right and flies off, then a boot in the corner. Seth goes to the top rope. He flies off with a kick, but Ryback moves out of the way. SPINEBUSTER!!! Ryback is hungry, it appears. He grabs Seth, who is now on the apron, and suplexes him back in the ring, only for Seth to land on his feet and roll up for 1…2..NO!!! POWERBOMB FROM RYBACK!! He’s in the corner, hungry. Seth stands. MEATHOOK! Ryback call for the finish, he sets up for the Shell Shock. Seth drops, though, and heads to the ropes. Ryback pulls the legs of Seth, but Seth lands on his feet and hits an Enziguri. Seth’s shinguard falls off.

Seth leaves the ring, looking as if he’s done. He grabs the belt and looks to head up the ramp. Ryback is up, though, and he heads out, grabbing Seth by the head. He sends Seth in the ring, but Seh heads right back out. Ryback follows and grabs Seth by the barricade, then tosses him away. Seth hgeads in the ring. Ryback pulls the leg hard, dropping Seth to the mat. Ryback calls for the finish again.

He sets up for Shellshock, but Seth pushes him off and heads into the crowd like he did on RAW. Ryback enters the ring a the ref hits an 8 count. Seth is nearby the smashed car, and the ref hits 10.
Official Result: Ryback via Countout

Rating: **

As Seth stands atop the ramp, the music of Big Show hits, and he joins Seth. They both head down the ramp, Seth all smiles, and Ryback readying for a fight. They go to either side of the ring. Show and Seth hop up. Seth in first, but Ryback fights Big Show. Seth hops on the back, distracting. Show with a kick to the chest, another. Seth mounts Ryback and attacks with right hands. Show with a soft kick to the arm. Roman Reigns music hits, and he takes the short route, heading down the ramp and in the ring with an uppercut and a spear to Show! Seth sets up for a Pedigree, but Reigns says no and pushes Seth right into Ryback who hits Shell Shock on the champ! Reigns and Ryback stand tall as Show and Seth scurry away.

End Show