wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE Smackdown Report 9.29.06
We begin with a recap of the Royal Court kicking the hell out of Cena on Raw.
JBL and Cole welcome us to Smackdown as John Cena makes his way to the ring.
CENA: Before I get al bent out of shape about Booker’s foot fetish and his court jumped me on Raw I have to take a second and say that it is good to be back on Smackdown. I mean it is really good to be back on Smackdown. It is like I am coming back to host SNL or something. Since I left Smackdown, things have been good. I am still the champ, I got a new movie coming out…the Marine, in theatres everywhere October 13th, go see it 1-millions times. Critics say it is the best in the universe. But seriously, we are on a new network but it feels the same. We have the fist, we have the fans, Chimmel is still here and you put on 60lbs or so, JBL! JBL…JBL last time I saw you, hell last time I saw you I was whipping your ass! And of course, my favorite…the Whitney Houston to my Bobby Brown, Michael Cole. Cole always wanted one thing, so I have a gift for you. You always said that you wanted a set of these **Gives him a set of balls** Seriously, we have a great show for you tonight. You know who is here? Regal is here…Finlay is here…The World Heavyweight Champion King Booker is here. His goon squad came to raw and tried to cripple me and made me kiss his feet, very noble. Tonight I have backup. Tonight my friends the odds are even. I have Bobby Lashley…in my corner I go to war with Dave Batista! King Booker and court, listen up, from the champ there will be no kissing feet. Tonight, we will simply kick your ass!
Back from commercial and we get a special look at Vicky Guerrero.
Rey makes his way to the ring.
Rey was supposed to face Terkay, but he had sand in his vagina and will have Burke face Rey instead.
Elijah Burke vs. Rey Mysterio
Lock up and knees by Burke. Forearm shots by Burke, off the ropes and a head scissors by Rey. Rights to Burke, corner mount and rights by Rey. Irish whip and a sloppy reversal and a boot by Rey. Second rope RANA countered into a corner powerbomb by Burke. Irish whip and Rey hits hard and a side slam by Burke gets 2. Double chicken wing by Burke now, Rey fights to get to his feet and head butts out. Slam by Burke, and he goes up top…elbow MISSES! Kicks by Rey, off the ropes and a springboard cross body for 2. Sunset flip but Rey counters into a kick and cover for 2. Terkay trips Rey up, Burke tries a powerbomb but Rey escapes and then dropkicks Terkay and a 619 on Burke, and a drop of the dime later finishes it.
Winner: Rey Mysterio @ 3:48 via pin
Terkay is in and destroys Rey with a Muscle Buster. Chavo and Vicky are watching backstage and look happy.
Back from commercial Ashley appears and hype “HER BOYZZZZZZ” London and Kendrick, and we get a video package highlighting their skillz~!
Idol and James, w/McCool make their way to the ring and OH MY GOD! KC JAMES HAS THE GREATEST STRUT IN THE WORLD! I love this man! He must be taking lessons from Michael PS Hayes.
#1 Contender’s Match: Idol Stevens & KC James w/McCool vs. Jamie Noble & Kid Kash
Stevens and Noble begin things with a lockup, off the ropes and boots by Noble. Tag to Kash and a double team clothesline to Stevens. Boots to Stevens, chops now and then clubbing shots to the back. Tag to KC who lays in the rights to Kash. Kash with a snap mare and stiff kicks and a cover for 2. Tag to Noble and double team head butts to KC. Leg lariat by Noble and a cover for 2. Leg drop and a cover for 2 by Noble. KC fights back, Kash tags in and Stevens tosses Noble to the corner and then they beat down Kash. Stevens dumped to the floor and Noble with a suicide dive onto Stevens. Kicks by Kash, moonsault to KC and that gets 2. Suplex countered and a DDT by KC! KC covers but Noble breaks that up. Stevens back in and all 4-men brawl. Roll up by Kash, but McCool reverses the roll up and James and Stevens get the win. So long Kash, you asshole.
Winners: Idol Stevens & KC James @ 3:27 via pin
Back from commercial with a Marine commercial…HYPE!
Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero w/Vicky
Lock up and off the ropes and a tackle by Hardy. Lock up again and to the mat, headlock by Hardy…off the ropes and a right by Hardy. To the corner and then rights by Hardy. Irish whip and a beck elbow by Hardy. To the 2nd rope and Chavo pulls him off and swings the momentum. Boots by Chavo, and then some uppercuts to Hardy. Snap mare and a seated abdominal stretch. Matt gets to his feet and manages a clothesline. Rights take Chavo down and then a forearm. Off the ropes and Chavo takes a ride with a backdrop. Corner clothesline and a bulldog by Hardy gets 2. Chavo battles back, but Hardy gets a side effect out of nowhere for 2! Slam by Hardy, to the 2nd rope now…Vicky is on the apron and then Hardy gets the leg drop. Helms is out and Hardy nails him. Low blow by Vicky, DDT by Chavo and now up top…Frog Splash and that is all.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero @ 4:50 via pin
Helms jumps back into the ring and then delivers a Shining Wizard to Hardy. He stands over a fallen Hardy and poses.
Back from commercial and we will get “Mr. Kennedy’s Tribute to the Undertaker.” KENNEDY!
Mr. Kennedy makes his way to the ring, wearing a rather pimp suit I must say. There is a black carpet and wreathes in the ring as well.
KENNEDY: Ladies and gentlemen…last week was the closest I have ever been to the Undertaker as I watched him battle King Booker. And I watched in awe. And because of this, I pay tribute to the Undertaker. You see, the dead man, the phenom, has taken on and defeated anyone and everyone. Look at the list, Hogan, Stone Cold, The Rock and his own brother Kane. He has defeated everyone. All of you take a look at what he has done.
**An Undertaker Video package runs**
KENNEDY: Yeah…yeah, see, all of you can see what I know to be fact. The Undertaker has accomplished everything and received ever accolade. He had nothing to prove…that is right, nothing to prove. Hang on and bear with me. This part saddens me. As much as I look forward to facing and defeating the Undertaker at No Mercy, I think it would be wrong. I think it would be wrong for me to intrude on his legacy. I don’t want to be the guy that takes him out, I don’t want to ruin it all, and I don’t want to be that guy. For those of you that are talking about this. I won’t defeat him at WrestleMania, because I think it would be wrong to ruin that record for him. It is with heavy heart that I say to you the fans, as a man with a conscience, I cannot face the Undertaker at No Mercy.
**GONG…GONG…GONG…**
Undertaker makes his way to the ring.
UNDERTAKER: There is something important you should know…I show no mercy and you will rest…in…peace…
Undertaker walks away and Kennedy grabs the mic to hit Undertaker and it goes all crazy with sparks! MAGICAL DEAD MAN POWERS! Kennedy bails as the Undertaker poses for the crowd.
Backstage Regal, Finlay, Queen Sharmell and King Booker discuss the match. Finlay says Batista, Lashley and Cena are all stupid and have all felt the shillelagh. Booker says that they are rapscallions! Tonight…they will all bow down, bow down before KING BOOKA~~~~! And they will ALL HAIL KING BOOKA~~~~! They all chant “ALL HAIL KING BOOKA~~~~!”
Back from commercial with an advertisement for Bishoff’s book.
JBL and Cole talk about the interview on WWE.com that JBL did with Bishoff. I heard it was good shit.
Miz comes to the ring yapping on the mic. He is soon to be 5-0. HOO-RAH.
Tatanka vs. Da Miz
Why is Tatanka on the roster, besides for jobbing purposes? Anyway, they exchange shots to start. Irish whip and Miz hits the corner hard. Another whip and Mix to the 2nd rope, leaps over Tatanka and then into a headlock. Back flip out and Miz to the apron, back in and he mocks Tatanka. Shots to the back by Tatanka, off the ropes and a back slide by Tatanka but Miz is under the ropes. Tatanka complains and Miz attacks. Rights by Miz, off the ropes and a shot to the gut. Russian leg sweep by Miz for 2. Knees to the head by Miz, more rights and then boots. Chops countered by Tatanka and he chops at Miz. Rights now and a whip to the corner and another chop by Tatanka. Tatanka covers for 1. Off the ropes and a backdrop by Tatanka. Clotheslines now and INDIAN DANCE and another clothesline. Off the ropes and a counter and roll up by Miz for 3 as he snagged some tights.
Winner: Da Miz @ 4:03 via pin
Teddy long informs us that he last week’s CW debut was the 2nd highest rated show, among adults for the night. Next week, on Smackdown, they will play pick your poison. Lashley and Booker will pick each other’s tag team partners. Check WWE.com this weekend to see who they pick.
Jimmy Wang Yang is here. He is proud as punch to be here for his first match. Unlike his opponent, he isn’t a foreigner. He is a redneck and he is next. YEE HAW. Uh huh.
Back from commercial as Sylvan makes his way to the ring.
Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Sylvan
And the crowd goes BEYOND mild for Yang. Some USA chants as they lock up. To the corner and Sylvan slaps Yang. Yang fires back and Sylvan takes him down. Rights by Sylvan, off the ropes and a head scissors by Yang. Dropkick and Sylvan is down. Chops by Yang, off the ropes and a knee by Sylvan. JBL says he is in hell, I love that man. Yang with a dropsault, and a sweet Enziguri. A plancha misses Sylvan and he hits the floor hard. Back into the ring and Sylvan with knees and elbows. Slam to the corner by Sylvan and again. Spinebuster by Sylvan and a cover for 2. Sylvan with a choke, Yang escapes with a neckbreaker. Yang with rights, chops now and then a clothesline. Back elbows now and then gets a swank corkscrew moonsault for 2. Boot by Sylvan, but Yang back with a spinkick. Irish whip by Yang, but Sylvan scoops the legs and gets the ropes for the win. What a debut.
Winner: Sylvan @ 4:50 via pin
Vito is here in his dress. He says they have a saying in the old hood for guys that wear dresses, “IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN! IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN!”
Back from commercial and Cole and JBL discuss the signing of MVP. JBL says he has to put up or shut up.
We get clips of the signing from WWE.com. He debuts at No Mercy, probably against Tatanka, Funaki or Scotty.
They run down the No Mercy Card:
-M.V.P. Debuts
-Sir Finlay vs. Batista
-Non-Title Match: Gregory Helms © vs. Matt Hardy
-Falls Count Anywhere: Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
-WWE Tag Team Title Match: Idol Stevens and KC James w/McCool vs. London and Kendrick ©
-WWE US Title Match: The Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy ©
-World Title Match: Lashley vs. King Booker © w/Queen Sharmell
John Cena, Batista, & Lashley make their way to the ring.
We get a video package of King Booker, Sir William and Sir Finlay beating down Cena on Raw.
King Booker, Sir William Regal, & Sir Finlay w/Queen Sharmell make their way to the ring.
King Booker ©, Sir William Regal, & Sir Finlay w/Queen Sharmell vs. John Cena ©, Batista, & Lashley
Cena rushes the ramp and attacks! Lashley and Batista join them and it is pandemonium! It is breaking down in Tulsa and they head to a commercial not even a minute in.
Back from commercial @ 3:09 with Batista working over Regal. Boot by Regal caught and Batista with shoulder rams on the corner. Irish whip and a backdrop on Regal. Spinebuster by Batista and now King Booker tags in. Lock up and to the corner they go. Elbows and chops by King Booker. Off the ropes and a hip toss countered ad Batista tosses King Booker. Suplex by Batista…into the jackhammer but Finlay breaks up the pin. Tag to Lashley and shoulder charges in the corner. Powerslam and a count of 2 on King Booker. Boot by King Booker, knees and Lashley fights back and gets a shoulder block. Powerslam by Lashley and Finlay breaks it up. He caught him in mid-air and it was almost pretty scary. JBL name-drops Rick Steiner, that isn’t always good. Lashley with boots and is hyped. Eye poke by King Booker and Finlay is in and a press slam by Lashley! Shoulder charge in the corner misses and Lashley hits the post hard. Cena tags in and starts to clean house on everyone! 5-knuckle shuffle to Regal. STFU on Finlay! Regal and King Booker break it up and all 6-men brawl. Little bastard gives Finlay a NEW shillelagh and he cold cocks Cena and we head to a commercial @ 9:15.
Back from commercial @ 12:00 with Finlay working over the arm of Cena. Regal tags in and he works the arm they injured on Monday. Regal is just ruthless here with some class action ass kicking. Cena fights back to his feet and tries for a tag and gets it…BUT the ref never saw it and King Booker and the Squires GANG BEAT Cena like he owed them drug money. Tag to Finlay and more beating of the arm of Cena. Arm lock by Finlay now, Cena tries to fight to his feet, does and suplexes out of the hold. Clothesline by Cena decapitates him and allows a cover for 2. Back to an arm lock by Finlay, Regal distracts Batista and King Booker is in to beat down Cena. Kicks to the arm by King Booker and a cover for 2. Superkick by King Booker gets 2 as Lashley breaks that up. King Booker back to the arm lock now. Cena back to his feet, rights to King Booker and he escapes. Off the ropes, knee by Finlay and a spinebuster by King Booker. Tag to Finlay again and right back to the arm of Cena. Cena fights again to escape…to his feet with Finlay on his back and Finlay escapes and clotheslines Cena and covers for 2. Tag to King Booker, picks up Cena and slaps him. He talks trash and off the ropes…AX kick misses and King Booker crotches himself on the top rope. Cena crawls for the tag…tag to Lashley and he starts to clean house like it is spring-cleaning time. Ok lame, but whatever. Running powerslam to King Booker gets 2. Batista in and all 6-are battling now. Batista and King Booker in the ring, shoulder blocks to King Booker and off the ropes and a trip by Finlay. Scissor kick try but Lashley spears King Booker and gets the pin!
Winners: John Cena ©, Batista, & Lashley @ 19:25 via pin
After the match Edge appears and SPEARS Cena! He leaves through the crowd talking trash as Cena is left in pain.
