411’s WWE Superstars Report 01.03.13
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Big Show… Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No… NXT Champion: Seth Rollins… Diva’s Champion: Eve Torres
The Usos vs. The Primetime Players: The Usos get the full Siva Tau entrance. Young and Jimmy open the first contest on Superstars of 2013. Young steamrolls Jimmy with a shoulderblock but the Uso fires fight back; Jey gets a tag and Jimmy whips Young into a leaping clothesline. Darren fights back but makes the mistake of attempting to head-butt a Samoan and collapses. He tries a second which nets an Uso dance followed by a REAL head-butt. Jey loads up a superkick but Young retreats to the floor. O’Neil runs over to help and Jey slides under the ropes to startle them allowing Jimmy a plancha. Back from commercial break, Young is pounding on Jey in the corner; he tries to mount the buckles but Young pulls him off onto the back of his head and tags in Titus. O’Neil hits some European uppercuts and they hit a double shoulderblock. Darren applies a chinlock and shuffles into a front facelock. A tug-of-war ensues towards the corner but Young powers him back and tags in TO. Jey tires some desperation lunging head-butts from his knees but Titus keeps him back with a big boot. Titus applies a chinlock; Jey grabs the ropes to break so O’Neil hits an armtrap slam. Young tags and the Players try the Millions of Dollars Suplex but Jey moves and Young essentially takes a release gourdbuster from O’Neil. Jimmy Uso… does NOT get the tag as O’Neil knocks him off the apron allowing Young to drag Jey back to the corner into a Titus chinlock. Jey is tossed into the corner and counters a charge with a boot. NOW Jimmy gets the tag and hits a Bubba Bomb. The Samoan Avalanche follows but Young slips out of the Samoan drop. O’Neil gets a blind tag as Jimmy KILLS Young with a superkick. Oh, that was deadly! Titus sneaks in and tries the Clash of the Titus but Jimmy is still in “house of fire” mode and counters with a forearm. Titus clobbers him with a big boot to extinguish the fire. O’Neil busts out his WHISTLE and blows it at the crowd; he takes his eyes (and the referee’s) off the ball so the Usos pull off Twin Magic. Jey nails another superkick and tags in Jimmy (again). The Usos scale opposite corners and hit a DOUBLE Samoan Splash for the pinfall. 6/10 Good tag match with a very exciting finisher; the Usos, despite being babyfaces, are beginning to use EVERY advantage to get them wins. I think the Usos should stick with the double splash finisher to get pinfalls since it is different and exciting to see.
Here are your winners… The Usos via double Samoan Splash pinfall
We move onto Raw with the CM Punk, Paul Heyman and Mr. McMahon segment from Raw (for my full review, click here), which is all moot by the way since they announced on Main Event that Punk is cleared to wrestle. After that we get clips from The Shield and Randy Orton, Ryback and Sheamus.
“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. Primo (w/Epico & Rosa Mendes): They lock up and Clay counters an armbar and dances around. Primo continues to try to work the arm but Clay counters with head-butts to the back of the head; Primo then tries a waistlock and that goes as well as you’d figure. Brodus rams his head into the buckles a few dozen times. Clay gets the André Butt Splash in the corner but Primo goes low and dropkicks the knee. He goes for a cover but the power kickout sends Primo to the floor. He runs back in and goes right to a chinlock; he segues into a front facelock so Clay tosses him off. Brodus this clotheslines and the My Bad Suplex. Jiggling begins along with the Funky Avalanche; Epico tries to create a diversion to allow Primo a Backstabber but he hold the ropes. The Splat finishes. 2/10 This has become a tradition on Superstars: a Brodus Clay squash I presume to get the crowd psyched up for the show.
Here is your winner… Brodus Clay via Splat pinfall.
The show ends with the ENTIRE Dolph Ziggler New Year’s toast.
OVERALL 4/10 The opening tag match was good everything else was a Raw recap or a Brodus Clay squash and we’ve all seen dozens of those.
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