wrestling / Columns

Booking WWE Monday Night Raw 10.24.06

October 24, 2016 | Posted by James Van Edwards
WWE Raw Brock lesnar Image Credit: WWE

From Minneapolis, Minnesota, this will be Monday Night Raw.

* WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho arrive to begin the show. They note that in America, this is a time of great divisiveness, as people are asked to choose between voting for Republicans and Democrats…this tax plan versus that tax plan…the guy with the awful hair versus the lady with the awful outfits. But, they say, thank God they are Canadian, and those are stupid problems for stupid Americans. Rejoice, for Seth Rollins and Chris Jericho are as unified as ever. They are the United States of Jeri-KO, and we are all fortunate to be its citizens. And the USJK is at war with none other than Seth Rollins. They vow, however, that during tonight’s triple threat main event between Rollins, Jericho, and Owens, Rollins will be defeated quickly. Rollins makes his appearance, acknowledging that he fully expects tonight’s main event to be nothing short of a handicap match. After all, he has never really gotten to fight Owens in a singles match without interference. Of course, that all changes at the Hell in a Cell event. Once they are locked in the cell, no one gets in to help Owens, and Owens cannot escape. As for tonight’s main event…yes, he says cryptically, the audience should be prepared to watch, as the expression goes, a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Rollins starts out of the ring, but stops with one last question: “The thing is…will that man be me?” Owens and Jericho are left in the ring to wonder what Rollins is getting at.

–Advertisement for Popeye’s, wherein an adorable child is used to sell chicken. My initial prediction for this advertisement told me an adorable chicken would be used to sell children, but I just knew that couldn’t be right.–

* Tonight, the competitors in Sunday’s Raw Women’s Championship match will choose each other’s opponents. In the locker room area, Sasha Banks says she can think of no one better to give Charlotte a workout than Bayley. Bayley is grateful for Banks’s vote of confidence, and shakes her hand. Or gives her a hug. Definitely one of those two things.

* Meanwhile, Luke Gallows makes his way to the ring, alone, as we see footage from earlier this evening, in which Karl Anderson tells Gallows he will stay behind for his match against Enzo Amore, as Anderson is confident Gallows needs no support to defeat the tiny, yapping Enzo. Anderson, rather, will stay at his locker and call his hot Asian wife.

* Enzo and Big Cass make their usual braggadocios arrival. Enzo seems poised to talk much smack until he stands next to the mammoth Gallows, and turns his insults to the absent Anderson instead. Cass has no problem, however, declaring Gallows S-A-W-F-T-soft before…

* Luke Gallows pins Enzo Amore when Enzo is distracted by the assault on Cass at ringside by Anderson, who appears suddenly from under the ring. Anderson & Gallows stand victorious in the ring, having outsmarted their foes.

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* During a sit-down interview with Michael Cole, Rusev proclaims that it makes sense that Roman Reigns would choose to face him in a Hell in a Cell match: it is a match that shortens careers, and while Rusev’s family is proud and successful, Reigns’s family is known for short and unspectacular careers, and sometimes lives. Reigns cannot help but chase his own destruction. It’s in his blood. Greatness is in Rusev’s blood, and at Hell in a Cell, he will grant Reigns the destruction he desires.

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* Charlotte defeats Bayley in a match during which Dana Brooke is ejected from ringside by the official. Announcer Byron Saxton notes that Charlotte will not have Brooke at ringside at Hell in a Cell, but Corey Graves retorts that Charlotte did not ultimately need Brooke, and will not need her during the championship match.

* Backstage, Mick Foley implores Cesaro and Sheamus to find the same sort of unity that Jeri-KO boasted of earlier tonight. Or, even better, the sort of unity that the New Day have boasted of for 427 days. Otherwise, the way their fortunes have gone in previous weeks, their Tag Team Championship match at Hell in a Cell against New Day will not be competitive, and the audience will be unhappy. Sheamus asserts that he does not care about the audience, and Foley, suddenly incensed, reminds him that the WWE Universe is the only reason they are here, and so if Cesaro and Sheamus do not find a way to impress not only Foley, but the audience, tonight, there will be no Tag Team Championship match on Sunday.

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* Backstage, Kevin Owens parts with Chris Jericho, citing the need to meet with Stephanie McMahon behind closed doors to finalize his contract for his Universal Championship match on Sunday. Jericho makes an attempt not to appear envious, reminding Owens that he knows about signing championship match contracts. When Owens is gone, Jericho reviews his list–until he is attacked by Seth Rollins. After a brief scuffle throughout the backstage area, Rollins drops a large crate onto Jericho’s leg. When a cavalry of officials arrives, Rollins steps away from Jericho as his quarry clutches his knee. Before he departs, Rollins picks up Jericho’s list. “I’ll save you the trouble,” Rollins tells the writhing Jericho as he adds his own name, once again, to the List of Jericho.

* Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann versus Drew Gulak & Tony Nese ends in a no-contest after Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa make their presence felt in the Cruiserweight Division by attacking both teams before being escorted from ringside by security.

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* Backstage, as Chris Jericho is led to the trainer for an evaluation of his knee, Kevin Owens consults with Stephanie McMahon. He tells her to suspend Seth Rollins for his blatant attack. But while Stephanie empathizes with Owens, she has found suspending talent to be counterproductive, as they only return more popular and angrier. Much like how Rollins returned from injury as a fan favorite, much more adored than…say…Owens, she notes. Owens tries to hide his resentment at this remark. Stephanie declares that, rather than suspend Rollins, The Architect should be punished, in the ring, by the one man who can do it: Owens. Whether or not Jericho can compete in tonight’s main event, Rollins and Owens will face off in the match. Owens is quite displeased.

* Sasha Banks arrives in the ring to learn who Charlotte has chosen as her opponent. Charlotte saunters to the ramp, accompanied by the ever-present Dana Brooke. Charlotte announces that the person she has chosen to face Banks should be obvious to everyone, including the dimwits in Minneapolis. Indeed, she has recruited none other than…Nia Jax. Jax makes her way to the ring, staring down the visibly concerned Banks.

* Sasha Banks and Nia Jax fight to a double count-out after Jax relentlessly pummels Banks outside the ring, much to Charlotte’s delight. When officials finally pry Jax from Banks’s motionless body, Jax and Charlotte eye each other knowingly.

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* Charlotte meets with Jax backstage, and promises that once she annihilates the now compromised Banks in their Hell in a Cell match, she will defend her newly reclaimed title against Jax next week on Raw.

* Curtis Axel is in the ring with words for the man he once Bo-lieved in, Bo Dallas. But before Axel can finish his angry statement, the Beast, Brock Lesnar, arrives. With Paul Heyman in tow, he greets Axel with a hasty F5, and retrieves Axel’s microphone. He has no personal issue with Axel, he tells the thoroughly unconscious man, but Axel was in his ring and Lesnar does things on his time. This is what he also wants Bill Goldberg to know. It is mildly impressive that Goldberg has chosen to return to the ring after twelve years specifically to face Lesnar, but if Lesnar dropped everything to answer the challenge of every man who wanted to make a name for himself by facing him, he would be fighting every night. Lesnar does not fight every night. Lesnar fights…on Brock Lesnar’s time. He will agree to a match with Goldberg…on Brock Lesnar’s time. It will not be at Hell in a Cell. It will not be at Survivor Series. It will not please the fans to hear this, but Lesnar does not care about the fans and, well…the match will not take place any time this year. Goldberg has waited more than a decade to crawl out from whatever hole he came from to dare poke at the Beast in the hopes of showing his son what it looks like for a once proud man to be crushed by a force of nature–Goldberg can wait a while longer. He can wait…on Brock Lesnar’s time.

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* Cesaro and Sheamus walk to the ring, Sheamus giving half-hearted high-fives to fans on his way down. In the ring, they make an attempt to simulate the New Day’s pre-match antics, but bumble their way through embarrassingly until Sheamus reaches his boiling point and insults the audience. Cesaro takes offense, noting that it was the WWE Universe that created the Cesaro Section, and he will not see them besmirched. The New Day arrive to break them up, noting that if they beat each other up, the New Day will not have anyone to fight on Sunday, and they will not get paid, and Xavier laments that his (insert popular video game character here) costume will not pay for itself.

* Cesaro & Sheamus pin The New Day after they discover a devastating tool in their arsenal: Cesaro’s Big Swing into Sheamus’s Brogue Kick. For the first time, the two men seem to bond–seem to consider that they just may win the Tag Team Championships on Sunday.

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* Mark Henry pins Titus O’Neil.

* In his earlier recorded interview with Michael Cole, Roman Reigns is not surprised by Rusev’s earlier comments. The Hell in a Cell match is where personal enmity goes to die. After Sunday, he will make certain Rusev never dares to utter another word about his family.

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* During a backstage interview, Anderson & Gallows reveal that they have been approved to face Enzo & Cass on Sunday, where they will defeat the two Johnny-Come-Latelies and reclaim the respect they deserve in the Tag Team Division.

* Sami Zayn & Neville defeat the Shining Stars. After the match, Braun Strowman marches into the ring and lays waste to Zayn before taking a calculating interest in Neville. After a brutal beating, he drops the ring steps down upon Neville’s previously injured ankle. He departs, leaving Zayn to stare him down while tending to his fallen friend.

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* It is revealed that Neville required a stretcher to leave the ringside area following Strowman’s attack. Zayn says he will give Strowman the competition he has been asking for on Sunday, if for no other reason than to avenge Neville.

* Corey Graves is in the ring to host a contract signing between TJ Perkins and Brian Kendrick, who will face off for the Cruiserweight Championship on Sunday. Before the contracts are signed, Kendrick makes an attempt at mind games, reminding Perkins that he took the young man in when he had no one and nothing. He trained Perkins and helped him get his start. And now, he wonders if during that time Perkins ever considered that the man who saved his life and propelled him to the mountaintop would also be the man to bring him down. Perkins never thought Kendrick would be the one, did he? But then, Kendrick says, no one ever thought he could be “the one”–not the WWE Universe, not any of the companies he has worked for, and certainly not WWE itself. But he will prove everyone wrong on Sunday. As Kendrick signs the contract on the clipboard, he notes that these contract signings usually end with the table flipped over and the two combatants at each other’s throat. But that is quite cliché, he says–before smashing the clipboard across Graves’s face, knocking out the unsuspecting announcer and leaving the ring. He is quite satisfied, while Perkins is quite disgusted.

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* In the main event, Seth Rollins pins Kevin Owens. Before the match, Chris Jericho’s entrance music plays, but Jericho never makes his way out to the ring, presumably too injured to compete after all. However, near the end of the match, Rollins looks to deliver the Pedigree on an unconscious Owens when Jericho hobbles to the ring. He lands the Codebreaker on Rollins, but Rollins kicks out of a pin attempt. Undeterred and desperate for victory, Jericho pins the prone Owens now–but Owens kicks out as well. When Owens awakens to find it was his best friend who tried to pin him, he is aghast, and kicks at Jericho’s. Rollins takes advantage of the USJK’s civil war and Pedigrees the unsuspecting Owens, earning the pinfall.

* It all leads to the following matches at the Hell in a Cell event on 30 October:

– Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens for the Universal Championship inside Hell in a Cell
– Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte for the Raw Women’s Championship inside Hell in a Cell
– TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick for the Cruiserweight Championship
– New Day vs. Cesaro & Sheamus for the Raw Tag Team Championship
– Roman Reigns vs. Rusev for the United States Championship inside Hell in a Cell
– Enzo & Cass vs. Anderson & Gallows
– Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

And with that, I am certain I will see all of you next week. In the meantime, congratulations to all you Houston Texans fans, and check out 411’s live coverage of Raw to see these predictions come true before your very eyes!

article topics :

RAW, WWE, James Van Edwards