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Botched!: Misplaced Hardyz, Early Darkness, More

May 6, 2017 | Posted by Steve Cook
Matt & Jeff Hardy Hardy Boys The Hardys Hardy Boyz DVD Image Credit: WWE

Hi, hello & welcome to the column that nobody in wrestling wants to be featured in, Botched! It was a busy week for WWE and a busy week for me too, so let’s get right to the five moments that didn’t exactly go as planned.

1. Hardyz Don’t Know Where To Go

Back when Larry Csonka & I used to do podcasts we had a Blogtalk Radio chatroom set up for people to listen & chat. Our buddy Ray from offtheteam.com was one of the regulars and he would often set us up with things to talk about when we were a few beverages in and a little slow on the uptake. He commented on something in the Payback Discussion Thread I set up there and I’ll include it here:

Yo, Cook. For your column next week. The Hardys clearly screwed up the finish tonight. They forgot which corner was theirs the first time they went for it.

I noticed this as well. Jeff was standing in the corner that Sheamus & Cesaro had been in the entire match towards the ending spot and the referee had to direct him to the opposite side of the ring where his corner was. It was pretty awkward, but I’ll give Jeff a pass for it because of something that happened to him earlier in the match…a boot from Sheamus to his grill that knocked a tooth out.

It sure seems like the Hardys are going to be broken in more ways than one when this feud is over.

2. Out of the Light, Into the Darkness

This is one of those things that won’t bother people watching Payback 2017 on the Network years from now, but when you’re live in the moment it just has you shaking your head. Randy Orton & Bray Wyatt’s House of Horrors was a botch in a number of ways, but the most glaring was the simple fact that it was dark at Bray Wyatt’s house while it was still light out in San Jose, California, where Payback was being held. Obviously the stuff was pre-taped. But when you’re trying to present something pre-taped as live, as they were, you at least have to make it look like its live.

There would have been a fairly easy way to fix this. Orton’s limo could have driven up in the bright sky, then Bray could have magically made it dark somehow. If Undertaker can change the lighting situation wherever he’s at, why can’t Bray? He changed the lighting of his house to red when he left, right? Easy stuff here.

It’s the little things. We can accept some crazy stuff in our pro wrestling, but y’all gotta make it tight. Don’t insult our intelligence and tell us it’s night time at 6:30 on the West Coast.

3. Finn Balor’s Head Is The Target For This Column

I don’t know why these things always happen to Finn Balor. Seems like every week since his return he’s showing up here for no reason of his own. This week he had a close call in the IC #1 contenders match with The Miz & Seth Rollins when Rollins came off the top rope and Balor thought he was doing a different move than he was doing…

7 minutes into the video you see Seth apparently shooting for a crossbody off the top rope, but it looks like he overshoots & Finn ends up catching him well before any sort of a landing point, with Rollins’ hip hitting Balor right in the head. That couldn’t have felt too good. Other than that miscalculation this was a pretty outstanding effort from all three guys.

4. More Like A Windstorm DDT

Sami Zayn & Jinder Mahal went at it on SmackDown Live in a back & forth battle where Mahal needed a little help from his friends to get the duke. A strong showing for Sami against the #1 contender to the WWE Championship, no doubt, but it wasn’t a perfect outing.

1:50 into the video, Sami attempts a Tornado DDT but doesn’t get a good grip on Mahal to make it look good. He does get Mahal down, which was the goal of the move, but it’s not the usual crisp action we’re used to seeing from him. I haven’t really noticed if Jinder’s head has grown like the rest of his body has recently.

5. Sin Cara’s Pants

Sin Cara was wrestling on SmackDown Live for what seemed like the first time in a hot minute and had a decent enough match with Dolph Ziggler. I must admit that I was somewhat distracted by something he was constantly doing during the match, and when you notice it you probably will be too.

Dude spent the whole match pulling his pants up. That new outfit doesn’t do him any favors unless it really gets over with the kiddies and they can make an action figure. It reminded me of Mitsuharu Misawa’s later matches where he spent most of his time adjusting his pants. Misawa was old so he had an excuse. Cara’s got to get together with the wardrobe people and make something that doesn’t annoy him as much. Hell, Ziggler had his pants hanging down and it didn’t seem to bother him. Just make sure your stuff’s covered up and it’s all good.

This does remind me that I need to buy new pants. I’ll be sure not to go to Sin Cara’s tailor.

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected]. Have a good weekend!

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Botched!, Steve Cook