Broken: The Realization That Matt Hardy Will Not Die

First things first, apologies for my absence last week. I had hoped to get something in over the weekend, but Father’s Day plans and various technical difficulties kept it from happening. While I do consider myself a special snowflake, I don’t consider myself so special a snowflake as to think that my absence really had any effect on any of you, so I hope you’ll accept my apology and we can all move on.

If that’s not enough, well, here. Enjoy this.

That out of the way, let’s get to it. I ordered TNA Slammiversary on pay per view a couple weeks ago, and I did it for a few reasons. 1: I always used to order TNA pay per views, because they were usually cheaper than WWE’s, and you could usually count on a good wrestling show, without all the normal stupidity reserved for a wrestling show. While WWE treated PPVs like TV shows with longer matches, TNA always seemed to actually try and make the wrestling stand out even more on their bigger shows. 2: I wanted to be there for TNA’s return to PPV in the year 2016. Not one of those One Night Only tapings, either, but an honest to goodness show building off the past few weeks/months of events!

Finally, I got it because, as much as I’ve griped about both over the years, I really wanted to see the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy Full Metal Mayhem match. Shoot, I also wanted to see The Tribunal (I’m a Baraka mark, and I don’t apologize for that), Sienna, Eli Drake/Bram, EC3/Bennett, and the main event between Lashley/Drew as well, but if I’m being honest, I wanted to see what I assumed would be the conclusion of this months-long feud between Matt and Jeff.

Because, frankly, I deserved to see the conclusion to this feud. We all did. Matt Hardy’s time as a main eventer was always near its end, even when it first started last summer. He clearly didn’t belong in the ring with EC3, and the booking showed that, as he constantly failed to win the TNA Championship.

Once it appeared he had blown his opportunities and would move onto something else, he was instead gifted a final opportunity for one last title shot at Bound for Glory 2015, where he would manage to steal the belt from EC3 thanks to a disgraceful officiating job by Jeff. The Hardy Family would then celebrate the night away.

At the time, some theorized that Matt may be considering calling it a career, and that the title win was more of a symbolic gesture than any type of vote of confidence in his ability to carry a company. And those seemed like fair enough ideas, if we’re being honest. Sadly, reality would prove us wrong. And after a months-long World Title Series saw EC3 win the belt, Hardy would win it right back, and turn heel, giving us Big Money Matt.

Matt would then run with this ridiculous character – and, to be fair, he did pretty well with it – as champion, before finally losing the belt to Drew Galloway. All the while, there had been lobs thrown between the brothers, with Matt pointing out (during his reign) that he was the one that carried the name, that he was the one with the talent, and that his holding the belt proved this all to be true. With Jeff preoccupied by a crazy Eric Young, they just couldn’t find the time to make any type of match happen. Even when they did, Bram and Young would interfere.

Losing that belt only helped Matt slip down the slope even further, becoming obsessed with proving his superiority to his brother. The Hardys would finally confront each other in April, with Matt laying out a challenge to his brother in the form of an I Quit match, while Jeff would instead hope for a Full Metal Mayhem matchup. Following a win in a tag match, Matt would get his stipulation, and the I Quit match was on.

This being TNA, an I Quit match would end in a no contest after Jeff haphazardly threw himself from the balcony through a table, glancing Matt at best with a Swanton attempt. Matt would be out a few weeks, before returning with all sorts of hokey mind games to mess with Jeff, including bringing back Team Zee All-Star Willow!

Matt would appear in his new Broken persona, with his white streak of hair to really let us know how crazy he had become following his crushing no-contest with his brother. No longer referring to “Jeff,” but instead to “Brother Nero,” Matt would speak of needing to eliminate his brother completely from the TNA books.

Hokey? Of course. Badly acted? Duh, it’s Matt Hardy. Entertaining? To me, yes. Not to the cool kids who have trouble admitting that hokey shit is a part of wrestling, but we got them a big ol’ vat of hair gel so they can look as rebellious as possible.

In fact, it gave us the great contract signing video that I broke down a few weeks ago! That shit was amazing!

And so, after months of buildup, after tolerating Matt Hardy in a main event role he didn’t belong in, and after having that main event role span three separate characters of Matt Hardy, I was more than ready for the entire feud to be put to rest at Slammiversary. Because, really, where else could this feud go? What else could be done? They’d done battle to no result, they’d battled in tag matches, they’d attacked each other, they’d engaged in mind games… as Matt said, Slammiversary was to be the end days for this feud.

I’ll be fair here: I dug the match. Not the greatest match ever, but a perfectly fine car crash, with Jeff putting some respek on it with a Swanton from the top rope to the floor, putting Matt through a table in the process.

So, fantastic. A long build, a personal feud, twists and turns for each man involved, and then a satisfying conclusion that leaves no doubt. So we move on, right?

Of course not, you silly goose! This… is… TNA!

Literally THE DAY AFTER Slammiversary, we were seeing more Matt Hardy videos. Because, as the old saying goes, Matt Hardy will not die. Even in matches where he absolutely should have taken a break, or accepted defeat and move on.

Sadly, I succumbed to the Pop TV technical difficulties for the June 14th episode and never went back to watch it, but I knew that another battle had been set up between Matt and Jeff. And wouldn’t you know it? It was in a Full Metal Mayhem match, the match Jeff wanted all along! And they even called it Hardy’s Revenge which isn’t nearly as obvious a giveaway to a match ending as it was when Jeff wrestled Eric Young in a match with the same heading. At least this time, both guys carried the Hardy name.

But, come on. This is TNA. Jeff won. You already knew this.

So, at this point, I’m not going to lie: I have no idea if this feud is over yet. Because it should have ended at Slammiversary, but it didn’t. For some reason, someone somewhere in TNA felt that Jeff needed multiple wins over his brother, even if Jeff > Matt in the eyes of nearly every wrestling fan that breathes air.

Does Matt morph into a new character? Does he come back and apologize? I’m putting my money on him sitting out for a bit, and then costing Jeff a huge match, leading to Matt vs. Jeff at Bound For Glory in what ends up being Matt’s retirement match. Because I’ve been convinced all year that those have been the long-term plans for BFG: Matt vs. Jeff. Who cares if it’s been done a bunch? Certainly not TNA!

So, I guess the joke was on me for ordering the PPV and expecting some kind of resolution. I mean, that’s what Final Resolution is for, right?! Because TNA loves those Hardy Boys, regardless of whether the program is interesting, meaningful, or helping the company at all. It’s like TNA’s version of those 2002-2004 HBK/HHH matches, but without the outstanding in-ring delivery from both participants.

But hey, at least Jeff Hardy got a win! He can talk all about it in his next conversation with the sky.

Please, TNA. Please don’t drag this feud into 2017. I know you’re fully capable of trying, so I’m begging you. Put this feud down. Matt lost. It’s okay.

PUT SLICK IN THE HALL OF FAME!!

It’s All Wrestling. It’s All Silly. We All Love It.