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March 30, 2015 | Posted by Tony Acero
WWE Raw Image Credit: WWE

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411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 3.30.15
* Welcome.

RAW!
IS!
ROLLINS!

BROCK LESNAR is here for his first of ten contractually obligated dates!! Heyman is noticeably agitated. He calls Brock the most NON-PG ass kicker of the PG Era. He wants to just get it out of the way, what happened last night at Mania. His client, as they told us he would do, laid a beating on Reigns like no one has ever seen. His client took his hands hit suplex after suplex on Reigns. Over and over.

SUPLEX CITY chant

Brock laughs it up. He’s lovin it. So Brock is bitch slapping Reigns and Reigns…smiled? Heyman will not sing praises for Reigns, Reigns can sink or swim on his own, but Brock almost respects Reigns, even though kid’s still got a ways to go. So Brock was hungry, wanted to go out for dinner, picks up Reigns, F-5! And here comes slimey, disgusting little Seth Rollins to cash in his briefcase, makes it a triple threat, curb stomps everyone, and scores a pinfall on the challenger, not the champion – only to scurry away as the most undeserving champion ever.

Heyman brings up his father attorney who can have the decision reversed, Seth will no longer be the winner, and Brock will have the title held up in litigation. Unfortunately for Heyman, Brock thinks all lawyers are scumbags and Brock will not file an injunction or go to the second circuit. No, he wants to invoke his rematch clause. And that rematch won’t happen at Summerslam, Extreme Rules, Payback, no. It will happen….NOW.

This prompts Stephanie McMahon to come back. She says everyone is so ready to look past Mania. She calls last night’s Mania amazing, brings up the attendance record. She tells Brock that it was one of the greatest main events she ever saw. He took it to Roman Reigns. She mentions that it looks like Reigns took it to Brock, too.

RONDA ROUSEY chant.

Steph wants to know if we want a rematch between Brock and Rollins, then says don’t piss her off or we won’t get what we want. haha. Nice. She says that we all know that Seth had to go to NYC to do the Today Show, and is a busy man but….she says that she has no doubt, Seth will be up for the challenge, eventually.

Heyman wants to give Steph a spoiler, then. Tonight, for the first time in over a decade, Brock is going to wrestle live on RAW. He is going to beat Seth Rollins, then pin or tap out Rollins, and we will hear an announcement, and Brock will be Champion.

We learn that our champ, John Cena, has issued an open challenge for his US Title.

Also, Bryan will be facing Dolph Ziggler, defending his IC Title.

Interesting….

Bad News Barrett is ringside for commentary.

Match 1: Daniel Bryan vs Dolph Ziggler
Bryan shoots for the leg, but Ziggler dodges it. Test of strength, and Ziggler pushes forward. Dueling chants for the guys. Bryan rolls out of the hold and bends back hands of Dolph. He uses a knee to break the left hold and drops the arm of Ziggler on his shoulder. They feel each other out again. Ziggler shots the leg, go behind from Daniel. Reversed by Ziggler, but Bryan holds the arm, uses a headlock takedown to mount Ziggler, but Ziggler uses the pressure of his body and pushes forward into a pin for 1…2..NO! Ziggler stops the wrestling and starts hitting right hands, causing Bryan to kick Ziggler away hard. Nice! Both men up now. Lockup and Ziggler pushes Bryan against the ropes. He sends Ziggler in the corner. Rever. Ref breaks the hold. Ziggler hits a headbutt like a good heel. Hard right hands. Ref backs Ziggler up. Bryan grabs Dolph, sends him in the corner and hits some hard kicks then a harder elbow. Daniel drags Ziggler in the middle of the ring, and looks for the surfboard. He pulls back, and w’ve got it. Ziggler pushes forward to break the hold. Bryan with an uppercut to Ziggler. Bryan whips Ziggler, but it’s reversed. Bryan hops over a running Ziggler, hits the ropes. Ziggler with a dropkick!!! Ziggler goes for a crossbody while Bryan hangs against the ropes, this sending himself and Bryan over into a pile on the outside!!

We’re back and Bryan hits a back suplex from the top rope to Ziggler! Pin for 1…2.NO! Bryan is up. Kicks to Ziggler. YES! YES! YES! Ziggler reverses a pin into a rollup! Bryan escapes, and they struggle trying to hit each other with a backslide! Ziggler with a superkick and a pin for 1..2…NO! Both men are struggling to get up, reaching for each other. Ziggler with a right hand to the kneed Bryan. Bryan with a right. They trade right hands, They’re both up! Headbutts now!!! They trade headbutts, and it’s as awesome as you think it would be.

Ziggler sends Bryan into the corner, but Bryan flies out of the corner with a KNEE!!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!!
Official Result: Daniel Bryan
Awesome match! Man these guys are great!
Rating: ***1/2

After the match, Barrett runs in the ring and hits Bryan from the back then attacks Bryan!!! Wade goes for the attack when SHEAMUS’s music hits!!! He rushes down the ramp, and sends Wade out quickly! BROGUE KICK TO BRYAN!! Ziggler is up! White Noise!!! BROGUE KICK TO ZIGGLER. Sheamus is sporting a mohawn and his beard is all braided up.

YOU LOOK STUPID chant! haha

Sheamus grabs the mic. “I’m Back!”

Hi guys! Finally settled in and have a little moment to say sup to you fucks! As this is the official start of our wrestling season, just want to thank all of you for sticking with me throughout what seems like forever that I’ve been recapping RAW. We’ve built a community here, I hope you realize that, and it’s amazing. Bingo, Connie, Ragsys, I mean….no other RAW Recap has this much interaction, and a lot of it is because of you guys. So thanks. Just wanted to put this out there. Thank you all.

Looks like we’re getting a NEW DEBUT!! LUCHA DRAGONS ARE HERE!!!

Rousey approves.

Match 2: Lucha Dragons and New Day vs Tyson Kidd, Cesaro, and The Ascension
Starting with Sin Cara and Cesaro. Lockup ends with a knee to Sin Cara. Uppercut from Cesaro. Pin for 1. Another pin for 1. A third. Cara hops up with a head scissors. Cara runs, right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Kicks to the back by Cesaro. He sends Cara into the ropes, misses a clothelsine, and Sin Cara does his super spiffy arm bar takedown off the ropes. Pin for 1. NO. Tag to Kalisto who comes in with a kick to the arm. Cesaro hits a knee then tosses his opponent into the corner. Kalisto with a knee, goes for a head scissors, but Cesaro holds onto him, goes for a powerbomb, but we get a flip off! Cesaro whips Kalisto to the ropes then lifts him up! Kalisto stands on Cesaro’s shoulders!!!! He spins super crazy like and sends Cesaro to the outside!!! NICE!!! Kalisto tags in Big E. Conor is in too. Lockup. NEW DAY SUCKS chant. Big E with shoulders in the corner. Tag to Kofi. Kofi with a right hand, sends Conor down. Pin for 1. No!

Kofi locks the head and backs up. Tag to Cara. Cara is up, hops down with a right hand to the shoulder of Conor. Knee to Conor. Another. Conor overpowers, and sends Cara into the corner. Ascension stomps Cara down then tags in his partner. Viktor. Tag back to his partenre who double team Cara with a slam down to the mat. Pin for 1. NO!

Commercial break for us.

Back, and we’ve got an OLE chant. Cesaro with a tag to Kidd. THE SPIN is here! RIGHT INTO A DROPKICK! Pin from Kidd. 1…2..NO! Kalisto breaks it up. Tag to Conor. Cara hits him with an Enziguri! NEW DAY SUCKS! haha. Tag to Kofi. Tago t Kidd! High chop! He sends everyone off the apron. Boos galore!! Dropkick to Cesaro! Dropkick to Kidd! BOOM DROP! The crowd is heavy booing. hahaha. Kofi does the clap, and the crowd doesn’t help. Cross body from Kofi! Pin for 1…2.NO! Tag to Cesaro! He runs to Kidd. Raise up, and Cesaro hits an uppercut! Blind tag from Viktor, and Cesaro is NOT happy. They argue a bit. Viktor turns to Kofi. Rollup and a pin for 1…2..NO! TAG TO KALISTO!! Springboard spinning fucking burrito with extra hot sauce elbow to the face!!! He kicks Victor! Kneed! HOLY FUCK, a headscissors HEAD SLAM like yo momma depended on it to the mat!!!! Pin for 1…2.NO! Cesaro in to roll Kalisto out of the hold! Big E is in! Belly to Belly! One to Kidd, INTO CESARO! Everyone is sent outside!! Kofi flies onto the others!!

Kalisto turns Viktor around after he hits Sin Cara! Salida Del Sol! Pin for 1….2…..3!!!
Official Result: Lucha Dragons and New Day
Well shit…awesome debut!
Rating: ***

Backstage, Brock is pacing. Heyman walks in. He says Brock won’t believe this….”He’s here.”

Before we head to another break, we get the slowest of slo-motion renditions of Adrian Neville hitting the Red Arrow.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and Brock is coming to the ring. He stands and waits while the crowd chants “SUPLEX CITY!” A slight pause, and here’s Rollins!!! He is all smiles, and the crowd is firmly behind him. As are J&J. Seth gets right in the face of Seth Rollins, and grins while holding up the belt. Nice touch.

Before the match can start, Seth grabs a mic. He says he is a fighting Champion, and he’ll give Brock his rematch, just not tonight.! Brock goes ballistic and attacks Rollins!!! He sends Rollins all around the ring outside! Brock sends Seth back inside! He goes for a German, but Rollins lands on his feet!! High kick to Brock. BROCK SHAKES IT OFF LIKE NOTHING!!! Seth is pissed the fuck off!! WOW! He attacks again, sets up on the outside for an F-5!!!! J&J are there to stop him!! Seth leaves with the quickness through the crowd. A small pause from Brock, then he just flips the fuck out of the announce table, not giving a shit about Cole and Co!! He fucks with the spanish announce table!

Brock isn’t done! He grabs Michael Cole!! YES! YES! YES!!

F-5 to Michael Cole!!! Brock heads back in the ring.

He sees the camera man on the apron! GRABS his ass! He sets up for an F-5!!! The camera man is on his shoulders! Steph is here! She yells at Brock to stop! She says to put the man down, it’s unnecessary! He says Brock will get his rematch. Put the man down. Steph tells Brock to listen to Paul Heyman. Brock backs up in the center of the ring. F-5 TO CAMERA MAN JOE!!! Wow. Crowd LOVES it!

Steph says his actions have consequences and Brock is now suspended. He is suspended indefinitely and to get out of the building now. NOW. NOW! Steph is angry. And it’s stupid and obvious statements like “Steph is angry” which makes me question why you still read me. haha.

We see the carnage ringside, and Booker T is laid out. In the ring, Brock isn’t done. He grabs the prone camera man and hits another F-5!!!

Know what would make this moment better? A picture of AJ.

We’re back to the show, and they are checking on the announcers. They’re still messed up, so we just show some recaps of Brock’s carnage.

Backstage, Renee stops Steph and asks her what’s going on. Steph says that he F-5s out the endangered WWE employees and she had no choice. Renee wants to know if the cotnractually obligated rematch is still intact. Steph says suspending Brock isn’t enough, no she will have to fine Brock Lesnar for the damage that he’s caused, and if Brock thinks that he can go back to MMA, he just signed a contract with the WWE, and that means “I own that son of a bitch.”

Nice.

Still no commentary as we get the cheesiest of photos of Cena holding the US Title. Open challenge coming up next.

We are back to RAW, and Byron Saxton is standing aside a flipped over table. He’s goin Joey Styles it appears. Stardust is in the ring gettin booed for funsies.

As Sandow comes out, Saxton mentions Sandow’s “risky moves” during his momentof truth last night.

Match 3: Damien Sandow vs Stardust
Stardust on the attack while Sandow removes his glasses. The crowd starts a Cody chant as Sandow runs with a clothesline. he slams Cody into the corner. Sandow ducks a clothesline and his the neckbreaker, backbreaker, kip up combo. Whip to Stardust who reverses with a kick to the head. He hits some stomps near the ropes. Ref breaks it. Stardust on the attack again as he puts pressure in the corner. Stardust taunts the crowd, then turns into a gut punch and some rights. He kicks Sandow down, though, then stares off into the crowd. Stardust grabs the head. Front suplex. Cody chant. Stardust sells it greatly. He pulls the head of Sandow then locks on a cravat to Sandow as he shouts WHAT’S MY NAME!?

Sandow with a right hand. Push to the ropes. Kick. Cody sets up for a finsher, but Sandow reverses. Skull Crushing Finale! Pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Damien Sandow
Means to an end, is all.
Rating: *

Immediately after the match, Miz runs in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale to Sandow! He screams at the laid out Sandow saying he is nothing, and we don’t care about him. Miz continues to berate Sandow, saying Mania was his night and Sandow ruined it. I think that’s an ASSHOLE chant, but can’t be too sure. I hear someone say “look at the audience.” Miz starts berating the crowd. Saxton is NOT holding his own.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and Saxton loosely narrates what happened between Rock/Rousey and Steph/HHH. Saxton is still standing by a turned over table, because only Brock can move those damned things.

After some Mania pushing and recapping, we return to Curtis Axel in the ring. He says not to change the channel and calls the entire roster jealous. It took 29 other men to eliminate him last night. He says the road to AXE-TREME Rules starts now.

And as he rips his shirt, Adrian Neville (billed solely as Neville) makes his entrance! It comes complete with pyro, and he’s wearing a cape. Lillian announces him as “The Man that Gravity Forgot, Neville!”

Axel rushes Axel who is on the apron, but Neville ducks and Axel hits the ground on the outside. Springboard moonsault onto Axel. He sends Axel back in the ring and the ref officially starts the match.

Match 4: Neville vs Curtis Axel
Neville rushes Axel, ducks a clothesline, ducks again, flips all the way across the ring, kicks Axel, hits a shoulder on the apron, flips over Axel, hits a right hand, then a hard right after hitting the ropes. Kicks to Axel. Another. One more. Hits the ropes. Dropkick to the face!! SHIT! Axel in the corner. Neville runs and hits an uppercut in the corner. Body slam to the ground.

Neville hops up top. He’s calling for it. RED ARROW and it’s beautiful!!! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Neville
Welcome to the big time, Neville!
Rating: *

-Commercial Break-

John Cena is here and he’s got….A BLACK SHIRT!! OH NO! CENA HAS GONE DARK!!

Quick, look at something awesome before Cena sucks it all up!

That’s better…

Anyway, John Cena grabs a mic. He says all night, we’ll hear about Wrestlemania moments. Everyone boos, and Cena agrees because he doesn’t think we get the respect we deserve, calling us the greatest audience of the entire year. WE are always loud, vocal, and surrounded by a group of budding musicians (the crowd sings “”JOHN CENA SUUUCKS”) haha. Cena calls it a catchy tune, but says we’ll have a real problem with the next statement, judging by the lyrics. The Champ is HEEERRRRREEEEEEE says Cena. Cena says we’ve been doing this a long time, and tonight he’s dressed like Johnny Cash, but the name is still John Cena. He’s not out here to try and change our minds, but he’s also not out here to run away from a fight. He wanted this belt because the WWE Universe deserves a Championship match. He mentions the open challenge, from Rusev to The Brooklyn Brawler, so if anyone wants some, come get some.

Dean Ambrose answers said challenge, and comes out a man unbroken. Cena is ready. He removes the shirt, and we’re gonna have a match.

Quick recap of Ambrose hopping off a ladder, then being broken in half on another ladder.

Match 5: United States Championship Match
Dean Ambrose vs John Cena

They circle the ring. Lockup into a side headlock takedown from Cena. Ambrose tries to push out, stands, sends Cena into the ropes. He breaks the hold and shoves Cena. Cena seems bothered, then rushes with a go behind into another side headlock takedown. Ambrose sends Cena into the ropes, and Cena hits a shoulder tackle. Pin for 1. Side headlock again. Ambrose pushes, hops down, Cena jumps over, Ambrose jumps over him. Hip toss into a pin for 1….NO! Cena heads to the outside like a chump then hops back on the apron as we get a commercial break.

We are back to Saxton being unable to hold his own, as he is joined by Jerry Lawler. In the ring, Cena tosses Ambrose down hard. Boos raining hard on Cena. Ambrose with some right hands gets support from the crowd. He ducks a move and hits a throat check, another. Ambrose hops off the corner, hits a right hand then a bulldog to Cena. Ambrose hops up top, waits for Cena to stand, leaps, rolls out as Cena moves. Cena with the Protobomb. Cena sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Ambrose kicks Cena in the head! He’s up with a flurry of fists! He hits the ropes, but Cena kicks him. Ambrose flies back from the ropes and runs right into…another Protobomb! Cena with the Five Knuckle, this time he hits it. Ambrose is up,turns. AA setup, but Ambrose rolls down and hits a roll up for 1…2.NO! Cena picks the ankle, and Ambrose kicks him away. Cena with a right hand,Ambrose bounces off the ropes. HARD clothesline! Pin for 1..2…NO! Cena sets up for the AA, but Ambrose elbows out. They trade right hands, and the crowd is firmly behind Ambrose. Whip to Ambrose, but he hits an elbow. He grabs Cena’s head from the corner, and hits hits a DDT from the 2nd rope! Pin for 1…2..NO!

Cena rolls to the outside again. Ambrose is actin wild. He pounds the chest and heads to the top rope. He looks down on Cena and flies with an elbow to Cena who is standing!!!! Ambrose grabs the head of Cena as the ref hits 4. He locks the head and drags Cena towards the ring. He sends Cena in the ring. The ref hits 7, and the crowd WOOS between each number. As soon as Ambrose enters the ring, Cena hits the AA! Pin! 1…2…..NO!!! AMBROSE KICKS OUT!!! Cena is stunned. Some would say Springboard Stunned…

Cena locks the head, lifts Ambrose up in the corner. Cena hops up. He wants an AA from the 2nd rope!!! Ambrose with an elbow. Another elbow!! He sends Cena to the mat. Cena stands. He rushes up, and Ambrose is able to stop it! He flies over Cena, misses a latch on, takes a second to recover, and hits a powerbomb!! Cena rolls through it, though, picks the ankle, and locks in the STF! Ambrose crawls towards the ropes! He’s close! Closer! He gets it!!! Cena breaks the hold and looks on in frustration. The crowd starts singing again. Cena sets up for the AA once again. He’s about to hit it, but Ambrose floats out! AMBROSE LOCKS ON THE STF!!! It looks immensely more painful than anything Cena has ever done. Cena reaches for the ropes, but Ambrose tries to stop him! He has the hold cinched in hard! He grabs the hand of Cena, trying to prevent the hold from being broken!! Ambrose lets go, grabs the boot, drags Cena in the middle of the ring, and Cena gets out of the hold!! He sets up, but Ambrose with DIRTY DEEDS!!! Pin! 1….2……NO!!!!! Both men up! Kick from Cena gets boos. Right hand from Ambrose gets cheers. They trade a few. Ambrose WINDS up a right hand and hits a left! haha!

Cena kicks the ankle, right hand, Sets up for the AA! Ambrose is out of it! Dirty Dee—NO! Ambrose hits the ropes, Crossbody!! Cena rolls through!! Firemans! AA to Ambrose!! Pin! 1…2…3!!!
Official Result:
Fuck. Yes! This gave Ambrose so much clout, and really posed the proof that they want the US Title to mean something. Amazing.
Rating: ***1/2

Cena looks on as Ambrose struggles to stand. Cena grabs his title from Lil Naich, then salutes the crowd. He’s about to head out as Ambrose looks his way. Ambrose points towards the title. Cena gives Ambrose a quick hand slap then heads out.

Backstage, Renee welcomes Seth Rollins. He’s all smiles. Renee brings up what Brock did, and wants to know Seth’s thoughts on Brock being suspended. Seth thinks Brock is out of control and is an animal. How is a guy like that supposed to represent WWE from a corporate standpoint? That behavior is unbecoming of a WWE Champion. He hopes Brocks gets fined 7 figures. As for last night, he earned the right to cash in whenever he wanted, and he did it at the perfect time when everyone, including Lesnar and Reigns, least expected it. Enough about Brock, let’s focus on the fact that Rollins walked out the new champ. Let’s focus on the fact that he’s keeping this title for a very long time.

Insert Randy Orton. He says how bout we focus on the fact that Orton beat Seth before the cash in, and he didn’t just beat him, he damn near ripped Seth’s head off. Orton knows one of Seth’s problems has been settled with a suspension, but he’s got another problem with Orton. Orton wants the title…

and just as he points at it, Kane and The Big Show lumber in behind Seth. Seth says that he may have one problem, it looks like Orton has three. He’s fair, though, so he’ll give Orton the end of the night to find two partners to take on him, Kane, and The Big Show. Seth walks out. Big Show stares at Orton, scoffs, then leaves.

AJ IS HERE!!! And She’s a Hugger!!

Match 6: AJ Lee, Paige, and Naomi vs The Bella Twins and Natalya
AJ is so beautiful…

Naomi is starting with Natalya, it appears. Lockup. Headlock takedown by the kittylover. Head scissors to Nattie, who kips up out of it. WE WANT BAILEY chant. Side headlock is broken by Naomi, who sends Nattie to the ropes. Shoulder tackle sends Naomi down. Rope work ends when Nattie hits a few rights. Whip to Naomi who stops in the corner, places her legs on the shoulders of Naomi and SHAKES DAT ASS!!! She sends Naomi in the corner, who moves, bounces Naomi off the ropes and sends her down. Hits the ropes, runs over Naomi, then dropkicks her in the mouth! Pin for 1…2…NO! Nattie locks the head and tags in Brie, who flies off the 2nd rope with a dropkick. I like her pants. Pin for 1…2..NO! Brie drops elbows to the shoulders of Naomi. Fireman’s takedown to Naomi, who locks the arm. Brie with another takedown, locking the arm still. Naomi is up to fight out, and hits a dropkick to Brie, sending her in the corner. Tag to Paige. Paige with a headbutt to Brie. Another. One more. She kicks, but Brie grabs the legs and sends Paige down, only for Paige to trip Brie and hit a pin for 1…2.NO! THIS IS MY HOUSE!! Brie hits a kick, but Paige no sells it like a boss. Brie puts an L on her forehead, so Paige spears Brie out and we

HAVE A COMMERCIAL BREAK DURING A DIVAS MATCH!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!

We’re back, and Brie has a knee to the back of my hugger. FOCUS ON THE MATCH CAMERA CREW! Jeez.

Tag to Nattie who kicks AJ down and pins for 1…2.NO! Knee to the back of AJ, and Nattie pulls back the arms of AJ. Nattie’s a good little heel. AJ turns into the hold and stomps the feet, but Nattie hits a knee to AJ Lee. Nattie with a NIIIICE Snap Suplex. Another to AJ. Nattie covers for 1…2…NO! Tag to Nikki who hits a horrible clothesline to what looked like the midsection of AJ. How does that even happen….Pin for 1..2..NO! Nikki mocks AJ’s crawl to the corner. Nikki stomps the back and goes behind with a chin lock. Brie uses Extreme Repitition. It’s Super Effective.

AJ tosses Nikki away then runs for a pin, only for Nikki to grab AJ midair and sorta, kinda slam AJ down. Pin for 1..2..NO! Nikki decides to knock Paige off the apron for no reason. Nikki stands in the middle, grabs AJ, rolls her over back into the position she was JUST in, and locks the legs. She’s got a modified leg lock here that looks super hot. Nikki turns and drags the knees across the back, then locks in an awkard looking bow and arrow type submission. AJ rolls over into a pin! Pin for 1…2…NO! Nikki hits a right hand to AJ then tries to hit Naomi off the apron. This allows AJ to lock in a Sleeper hold. Nikki backs AJ into the corner, but AJ dropkicks the back. She’s crawling for the tag. Naomi’s hands are outstretched. Nikkie goes to break the hold, but AJ sends her into the corner!! NICE! Tag to Naomi!! She hits a stunner like move then a high kick to Nikki! Crossbody off the top rope!! ! Head scissors in the corner, but Nikki turns and hits the Alabama Slam!!! Pin from Nikki! Pin for…NO! Paige enters and stops it!

Nattie in! GERMAN!! AJ in! Lou Thesz!! AJ is sent to the outside!! Nikki goes for a hard kick, but Naomi ducks and Nikki hits Brie!!! The Rear View from Naomi! Pin for 1…2..3!!!
Official Result: AJ Lee and others
HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!
Rating: *****

Backstage, Orton is with Ryback. Ryback says when it comes to Feeding Time, the one thing he can’t get enough of, it’s The Authority. So if Orton is looking for a partner, “Feed. Me. More.” It’d be funny if Orton just said…”eh, nah I’m good.”

-Commercial Break-

Smackdown is lookin to be Star Studded as Cena, Orton, and Reigns will be there. Also—

JBL informs us that Michael Cole may have suffered cervical damage. Oh, I’m sorry. That’s not what he said. I think it was irreversible…

OMG!

OUTTA NOWHERE!

Back to the show!

Match 7: Rusev vs Goldust
Rusev attacks quickly, in the corner, whipping GOldust then attacking the back after a springboard. Rusev scrapes the paint off of Goldust in the corner, screaming shit at him the entire time. The ref backs him up, but Rusev does it again. Goldust struggles to get up. Rusev with right hands to the back of Goldust. A kick to Goldust sends him down to the mat. Rusev grabs the head and hits an elbow. He goes low with a shoulder then tosses Goldust down. A knee is driven into Goldust’s face, then he holds Goldust’s head between leg and mat. Goldust tries to fight back, but Rusev hits a knee and sends Goldust to the ropes. Goldust drops to the knees,right hand!

SUPERKICK from Rusev! He stomps the back of Goldust! The Accolade is locked in! Goldust taps!
Official Result: Rusev
Just letting you know he’s still a bad ass with a perfectly squared shave job on his torso.
Rating: *

Rusev refuses to break the hold. It takes some convincing until he finally does.

We’re back, and everyone is wondering who the third man will be!

Match 8: Randy Orton, Ryback, and Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins, Kane, and The Big Show
Ryback and Kane to start. Kane gets Ryback in the corner. Right hands. Elbows. An uppercut. Ryback reverses a whip then runs into a boot. Off of that, he hits a spinebuster to Kane. He’s already hungry, as he looks for the Meathook. He runs, but Kane rolls out of the ring. Show and Rollins go to check on him. Orton and Reigns enter the ring.

OUT OF NOWHERE, Reigns hits the ropes and flies over the top rope to the outside!!!

Back to the match, and Orton has Kane in the corner. Tag to Ryback, who gives Kane a kick then hits a suplex in the middle of the ring. Pin for 1…2..NO! Ryback grabs Kane and backs into the corner. Orton tags in and kicks Kane. Headbutt to Kane. Kane backs Orton in the corner. Rollins with the tag. Right hands to Orton’s midsection. Kick to the gut and a right hand to the chin. Some stomps in the corner to Orton. Rollins stops to gloat. Whip to Orton, but he comes out of it with a hard clothesline to Seth. Uppercut from Orton. He shoves Seth in the corner and hits some right hands! Uppercut. Orton backs up, hits another clothesline! He mounts! Right hand to Seth. Another. More. Not much crowd support there. Orton stops to mad dog Big Show. Orton pulls Seth up, but Seth lands on his feet and hits an Enziguri! Pin for 1…2..NO!

Saxton does the “If you’re just joining us” bit, knowing full well we’re in the third hour. Orton is in the corner. Seth lifts him and locks a side headlock then tags in Big Show. Show with right to the gut. Show steps on Orton’s chest. Show then just sits on Orton as the crowd chants something I can’t hear. Big Show with a headbutt. Elbow drop from Show. OH! PLEASE RETIRE! hahahaha. Nice!

Big Show pins for 1…2…NO! Big Show sends Orton in the corner. Chop to Orton! Ouch. Tag to Kane. Kane with a right hand. Kicks to Orton. Snapmare to Orton! Dropkick from Kane to Orton! Pin for 1..2..NO! Cravat from behind immediately. WE WANT RYBACK chant. Orton is up. Headbutt to Kane. Kane hits an uppercut. Orton with a right. Kane with a right. Back and forth! Orton wins over! He goes for a clothesline, but Kane hits a Big Boot and a pin for 1….2…NO!!! Tag to Rollins as the ENTIRE CROWD starts the WAVE!!!! Rollins in the middle of the ring while Orton struggles on the mat. The camera gives them credit and pans the entire crowd! Orton is up in the corner. Seth with some kicks. He sends Orton in the opposite corner and runs with an elbow!! Seth yells for the crowd to SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! hahaha. Nice. Seth in the corner. He gives the crowd a SUCK IT then runs to Orton, who sends Seth over the top rope! Seth lands on his feet! He locks Orton up on the top rope! Orton with right hands! He’s getting out of the hold! Headbutt fro mOrton!! Orton with a Superplex to Seth!! WE ARE AWESOME chant really removes validity of said statement, guys.

Both men are down in the middle of the ring, struggling for the tag. Rollins gets his! Kane is in! Orton with a tag to Roman!! Samoan Drop! LOUD BOOS! Hard rights from Reigns! Knocks Show off the apron! Clothesline in the corner!!! A whole bunch, and the crowd is not buying it!! Reigns with a neckbreak—-no, he just turns and socks Kane in the back of the neck! Reigns calls for Superman punch, but Big Show enters! He goes for a chookeslam, but Reigns deflects! SUPERMAN PUNCH TO KANE!!!! Show with a Spear!!1 Ryback is in! SHELLSHOCK TO BIG SHOW!!!!! CURBSTOMP TO RYBACK!!!

Seth celebrates! Reigns is behind him! He howls! Seth hops over a spear!! Seth runs to the outside! Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Orton hits an RKO!! Reigns with the Spear to Kane! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: Ryback, Randy Orton, and Roman Reigns
The crowd really WOKE THE FUCK UP here! The match itself was solid, regardless of the reactions.
Rating: ***

Seth stands at the top of the ramp, staring a hole in Reigns as the faces celebrate.

End Show

article topics :

RAW, WWE, Tony Acero